Abby Walker

United States

Message from Writer

This writing is for you.

Abby Walker (United States) published:

Why we broke up

FREE WRITING

I needed you to help hold the dam together,
But instead you fell asleep
While I stayed up cracking.

over 2 years ago

1

Abby Walker (United States) published:

As It Turns Out

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As it turns out, there was another woman.

Her name is Los Angeles.

over 2 years ago

2

Abby Walker (United States) published:

Ten Words

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Some days you ache in ways you haven't for awhile. 

over 2 years ago

2

Abby Walker (United States) published:

Heartbreak/Healing

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this is what heartbreak looks like:
eyes opening after a night spent on somebody else’s floor.
why did i wake up on somebody else’s floor?
after the confusion comes the realization
and then the disappointment.
why did i wake up at all?

this is what healing looks like:
the first real laugh after months of choking on fake ones.
why did i stop faking them?
after the confusion comes the affirmation,
and then the kiss of peace.
why did i...

Seeking Peer Reviews

about 3 years ago

1

Abby Walker (United States) published:

Be Good

FREE WRITING

I just want to be good. Goodness is such an ambiguous word, mind, but from the time I was able to think clearly, good was what I wanted to be. It started with the desire to please my parents and grandparents. I liked the way they smiled at me when I sat still on the hard-backed pews at mass, the way that they laughed when I said things were certain inflections; the happier I made them, the more I wanted...

Seeking Peer Reviews

about 3 years ago

5

Abby Walker (United States) published:

I am the Treasure Here

FREE WRITING

I spent years of my life trying to kill the dragon inside my brain. The doctors gave me swords and knives in pretty orange bottles, and when it still didn't die, they gave me maces and spears as well. Online forums told me that there was no shame in struggling with the beast as long as I kept driving it back into the dark, as long as I never stopped fighting. But for all of the armor I built around myself...

Seeking Peer Reviews

about 3 years ago

Abby Walker (United States) published:

My Unwavering Hope

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Sometimes I wake up in the morning feeling like the world has shifted on its axes, and I wish I could stay in bed until they right themselves. Because how can you live when everything crumbles? But then I remember. Mom says that I was born with a hope that won't quit, that refuses to let me fall to my knees. I will always wake up. I will fight this sudden strengthening of gravity until my bones ache. I will...

about 3 years ago

1

Abby Walker (United States) published:

I'd do it without Thinking

FREE WRITING

I would do it all again. All the hurting, breaking, and breaking again. Because when something matters you don't just forget it. You press it into the pages of your journals, into the grass at the park where you sat two nights ago, into the very sky so that looking up means looking at him. I wanted a future and I got an eviction notice but I would get thrown out again, would suffer months of perceived hatred again just...

Seeking Peer Reviews

about 3 years ago

2

Abby Walker (United States) published:

This is What Anxiety Looks Like

FREE WRITING

One hand around the opposite wrist, rubbing side to side. The skin is soft there because she does this so often. The ring on the fourth finger of her right hand, loose where it once fit snugly. The crown there points in a different direction than before, and it feels wrong. Powder and paste pressed neatly onto the skin, covering shadows under the eyes and the scratch marks she sometimes wakes up with on her cheeks, though she doesn't know...

about 3 years ago

2

Abby Walker (United States) published:

The Apology (To Ami)

FREE WRITING

You told me that some of the best moments come from heartbreak,
But I couldn't find any without him swimming around inside them.

I'm so sorry, Ami. 

You said that I'd made myself a broken record, playing the same tune
With the expectation of a different kind of sound.

I'm so sorry, Ami.

You faced my biggest fear when I was too scared to face it myself,
And in the aftermath you asked if I'd found closure. I hadn't.

I'm so...

about 3 years ago