United States

Peer Reviews

My December

PROMPT: My December Competition 2016

I feel like varying your sentence length could benefit you a lot! You use a lot of simple sentences, which are great, occasionally, and for emphasis, but that's mainly all you used. It really helps to catch the readers attention when you have different sentence lengths throughout your writing. Your grammar is wrong in a few places. Running your writing through a grammar checker online should fix that, though, if grammar isn't your strong point. It'll show you what's wrong and help teach you rules you need to know! Otherwise, you're a great storyteller! I'm absolutely blown away by the images you showed, as I've said multiple times already. I can feel what you felt as you experienced it. Great job!

over 4 years

Paper Thrones (excerpt)


The section at the end describing your universe answered a lot of questions for me, but like I said, it just doesn't fit right there. I realize this is an excerpt, so there's more to the story than this. Also! I love the idea. There are a lot of stories out there where teenagers are saving their world with magic or mental abilities, but I've never read one where they train mentally whenever they want.

almost 6 years


PROMPT: Fantasy Writing Competition 2015

Nothing more than what was above.

almost 6 years