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Phoebe L

United States

please, talk to me about dad rock.

Message from Writer

any feedback is greatly appreciated :)

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5

Phoebe L (United States) published:

​State Street

PROMPT: Intersection

I always thought the name was boring
who wanted to be reminded of the government or
fifth grade history class 
on the way home from school? 

but the street defied its name 
with beauty in unexpected places
the soft glow of neon red and blue 
reflected in crisp mounds of snow
the gentle blinking of stoplights 
on beat with my footsteps and the humming of radiators

there was really something
about the way the crosswalks drew you in
A triangle...

Seeking Peer Reviews

6 months ago

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Phoebe L (United States) reviewed:

Rewriting The World

FREE WRITING

I think there are a lot of strong points in this piece. I like the way you begin with "Can you hear me?" It draws the reader into the story and makes them want to read more. The rhyme scheme...

6 months ago

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Phoebe L (United States) reviewed:

Relicten

PROMPT: Fernweh

I thought your example was interesting, but I was a bit confused by it. Aaron predicts that something bad will happen, but it doesn't necessarily translate into loneliness. What is it that is going to happen? Where is Aaron? Is...

6 months ago

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Phoebe L (United States) published:

skipping 9am

FREE WRITING

tiny boxes hang suspended
rows of lemon moonlight
burning just in your honor
the stale air of the bathroom envelopes you

like a moth in a cocoon
you are pale and shivering
reckoning for space within this empty stall
you kick the door, bored, and rattle the lock
trapped in a silk shell of your own making
ready for release

the sound bounces off dusty ceramic tiles
your anxieties echoing against pastels
it feels like walking on egg shells
it...

Seeking Peer Reviews

6 months ago

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Chagall fiddler

Phoebe L (United States) started following ALangford (United Kingdom)

6 months ago

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Phoebe L (United States) reviewed:

Ambiguity

FREE WRITING

I think this is a really cool and uncommon premise for a story (being reminiscent about your relationship with someone during a spelling bee), and this concept really drew me into the story. Great job with this and keep writing!...

6 months ago

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Phoebe L (United States) reviewed:

This.

PROMPT: Setting as Mood

While it is clear that you have some negative feelings about the way humans have impacted the environment, I'm curious about your opinions on cities themselves. Do you think they have any redeeming qualities? Are there any unique qualities of...

6 months ago

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Phoebe L (United States) reviewed:

The Count Down

FREE WRITING

This is an interesting story structure; it drew me in and made me want to keep reading. My only other suggestion is to watch out for run on sentences, and to make sure your verb tenses match each other (i.e....

6 months ago

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Phoebe L (United States) reviewed:

The Tragedy of Strangers

FREE WRITING

I think one of the strongest aspects of this piece is the dialogue. It is well written and realistic, and I can imagine overhearing these conversations in a school or Starbucks. You've constructed their conversations in a way that reveal...

6 months ago

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Phoebe L (United States) reviewed:

I was there Mr. Universe

FREE WRITING

I love the title you chose for this piece. It grabs the reader's attention because it is very interesting, and it also expresses the intimacy between the narrator and the universe.
Great job with this piece! :)

7 months ago