Kasilee

United States

{Writer}
{Artsy Fartsy Tree Hugger}
{Theater geek}
{4-H}
{PotterHead}
{she/her}
{John Green Fan Club}
{Finch+Violet}
{Anson Seabra}
{Romans 12:12}

Message from Writer

“The great thing about this life of ours is that you can be someone different to everybody.”

Published Work

Trusting you

This week has been alot
how long is it till i'm caught?
i'm trusting too many people with things i've done
when it gets too much i always just run
but i don't want to run away from you
i don't even know if you feel the same way as i do
but that doesn't matter
becasue my hearts already been shattered 
there is nothing you could do
to break it even more through

Bit by Bit

everyday i am slowly getting better, bit by bit
Goals and hopes are slowly pulling me out of my bottemless pit
Friends and family are there by my side
not letting me be taken away with high tide
People care
People heal
People feel
and the things that you feel are okay
because tomorrow is always another day
and hope is waiting to shine with bright rays

I need you too

You may need her
to take you away
from this life your trapped in
you may need her
to finally give you a life 
outside of all of this trouble and trauma
and I'm the one stuck here
im the one in your old life
im the one who would keep you home
But right now i need you
you may choose her
you may leave me
you may choose a different life
But i promise if you stay
i'll try everyday to take away your pain
I'll try to take away the past
And make a new future in this place you felt trapped in
but you might choose a complete change
And i dont blame you
Not for a second in any day
but i need you too

Can I just hug you?

Can I just hug you?
and not worry about anything else for a little while
Can i just hug you?
To try not to feel as alone
I just want to smell your scent of home
I just want to feel your comforting embrace
i just want to stand there with you and never leave
i just want to feel your breath on my neck
as you lean down almost a whole foot just to hold me
Can I just hug you?
plz i dont want anything else
Other then for you to take this pain away
i can forget about you leaving
you leaving to be with another girl
you leaving for college in a few years
leaving me behind this summer and that year
leaving me behind for your actual life
But when we're hugging you feel like my whole life
Can i just hug you?
Because i need you now
 

Little Me

Hey little me
why are you hiding in the bathroom
Sobbing over something someone said
hey little me
why are you acting more like an adult every day
can't you please act your age cause one day you'll regret wanting to be older
hey little me
sitting in the hospital bed crying
Your going to get through this but there is more hurt to come
Hey little me 
try to be more optimistic 
because you pessimistic ways are getting to me now
hey little me 
stop caring about what other people think
and start being a little more like me

I just really miss you

I just really miss you
Why does this hurt more then i mean it to
why am i always having to leave things behind?
I just really miss you
i miss you old me
But i hated you when I did
I miss you old friend 
but i didn't see you till i left you
i just really miss you
when your sitting right next to me
I know your leaving soon
and i just really miss you

Tiny Love

Love is a treasure

Love. It's not all about romance and valentine's day. Love is that feeling when your friend makes you a gift that is just so perfect it melts your heart. Love is not being able to see your friends for almost a year due to the pandemic then seeing them again and getting that hug you've longed for, for so long. Love is that feeling when I pour my heart out to you, and you don't take it for granted, you treasure my words in your heart, and keep them safe. Thats exactly what love is, a treasure.  I love you!

A fear you'll disappear

I have a constant fear
that if i think of you too much, you'll disappear
i have a constant worry 
that if i wish for you too much, you'll leave me in a hurry
my fears come true everytime another girls name leaves your lips
my heart slowly starts to break, and open it completly rips
and out of me spills all the hurt ive tried to dismiss
but here it still lingers never letting me miss
that look on your face when you tell me i'm the one
then the hurt that i feel, when out of your embrace i've become completly undone
 

Self-made Cage

I feel caught in the middle 
to get out i must answer a riddle
i have no idea what its supposed to mean
but thats my whole life now, or so it seems
replaying old words in my head
they are as poisonous as lead
i try my best to hide from it all
but it seems like they're all having there curtain calls
so i fall in the back, i'm a tree on the stage
i feel so stuck, in my self-made cage

Cries in the night

It's been a year since i've last seen your face
my life so far has been a long chase
it's been a year since i've last talked to you
and it was me who left you, that i know is true
but i miss you to pieces my heart cries in the night
i force tears away by squeezing my eyes tight
i've gotten over this pain
but only during the day
at night i lie awake
forcing my body not to shake
as the tears run down my face
this life is no longer a race
for there is nothing i am running to
when i know for certain my prize will never be you

In the world but not of it

I feel a sense of peace wash over me
i feel my heart unlock without even a key
i'm no longer stuck sitting with my worries
my head is now clear, no thoughts making me blurry
while everything in life is still not alright
i'll keep my head high all day, and all night
i won't let this world, and its hurt get to me
for when i do the pain makes me want to scream
but i'm trying for a life more peaceful, at best
and tonight i set my worries behind in search of some rest

Food Writing Competition 2021

I'll eat with you again, sometime soon.

I look around at the empty chairs. Too much meat I think as I take my first bite. No conversation only my thoughts to keep me company. I feel a drip on my finger, taco sauce runs down the side of my hand. These chairs would normally be filled with laughter and stories. I wipe my hand off with a napkin. They've all left now, too scared to come visit, too scared to bring a sickness. I pick up my fork and try a bite of rice. I left it in the pan too long without stirring, the bottems are slightly burnt. No one to complain, there all too busy trying to get by on there own. Don't they know I made too much, don't they know I'd send them home with extra for tomorrow's lunch. "You need to get the vaccine so we know your safe for us to visit," they say. The list is so long, it will...

Reason to be lonely

Its not that im lonely
as i stare at my tea
i dare not take a sip
for fear of burning my lip
but all the evil words that have crossed my lips
should have burned them off ages ago
i curse because i stubbed my toe
but thats nothing compared to the pain ive made you feel
the damage is all too real
and the pain that is yet to come
will be the worst yet to be done
its a betrayal like none other
then mabye i'll have a reason to be lonely
 

Attachment

Spiraling out of control
trying to find a loophole
out of this mess i've created
all these voices swirling around me
breaking bit and peices off of me
i don't know what i'm actually feeling
in this imaginary world ive created 
but the consequences are real
more real then i'd like to admit
im trying to create a shield
a shield where you can't get in
its not that i don't want you here
i need to feel your embrace through my tears
i need you to make everything better
i can't stand not being your only one
i'm not just an attachment
I'm a commitment
a commitment that's slowly coming undone

A love letter

I believe in you
i have for a long time too
ive never know exactly what to think of you
but now i think i do
i believe in the end
i will continue to send
you letters and texts and calls everyday
for even if we both move far away
you'll still be apart of my life until the end of my days
i will continue to tell you all the drama of my life
all the joy and laughter, all the struggle and strife
i'll never be too grown up for you
for i care too much to ever lose you
while i may want you in ways i can't have
i am too content with you i could never be mad
this drama in life might be too much to handle
in a dark room you are like my bright candle
leading me to a safe place kept away
i want to stay here with you forver...

Waiting

I will wait for you
everyday if i have to
i will hold out for you
till my death if i have to
this life is an adventure
but i can't explore it without you
this life is a storybook
but i can't write it without you
i am waiting to turn the page
stuck in my self made cage
delirious in my thinking
that you are waiting for me too
 

What I know

Your the only one that notices
my ups and downs
yet you've never said anything
even when the pain weighed a thousand pounds
but i can tell by the look on your face
you know what i know
this will not end up a cold case
im done putting on a show
and making you play along
with other voices i barely know
my thoughts bounce back and forth like ping pongs
but i have finally come up with a conclusion
im going to open up to you
let you see the real me
the one i suspect you already know
but i promise not to hide from you any longer
this is what i know
 

That breaks my heart

You break my heart every day
my heart breaks when I feel your embrace
Because even though your here with me right now
Your so far away i can't even feel you
this looks so perfect 
but it doesn't really feel like it
Because your footloose
Your not tied down 
meaning you'll never be just mine
and that breaks my heart
as i pull out of your embrace

Supposed to last

I see you in every shadow I pass
After your gone how long is this feeling supposed to last?
you can be my muse for however long you wish
Bring you back to life, recreating every kiss
I cant even pretend to think that this is real
i know it with every ounce i could ever feel
but that  does not change my outlook on today
for right now this feeling and you, are here to stay

She gave him a flower

She gave him a flower
He gave her a tower
for all their dreams to be built upon
she planted so many flowers on their lawn
he treated her as his queen
they always worked together as a team
until she fell climbing their tower
mysery swept over him dark as a shadow
she gave him a flower
he gave her a tower
their dreams were built up so high
it crushed the flowers leaving them to die.

A key to tomorrow

I just feel stuck
and i don't have any luck
so if you want me
you'll have to search hard for a key
because my hands are tied behind my back
it will take forever to get back on track
but if theres no tomorrow what does that matter?
im not one of those people trying to climb a ladder
i just want to be happy where i'm at
have you checked for the key under a mat?
because i feel like im falling deeper underground
a place where nothing makes a sound
but a quake comes from deep within
upsetting the earth
giving tomorrow a chance to win

Find my heartbeat

I just need to be found
my heart sings with a pound
i just need to really live
but how much time could i give
i'd give it all in a heartbeat
my thoughts are messy, far from neat
but theres an order in my chaos
if organized you'd feel the loss
i just need to be found
yet i make no sound
hiding in this mess
its as hard as a game of chess
can you find my heartbeat?
in this game there is not way to cheat

Not ok

I remember all of it
all the reaching out of a bottemless pit
trying to grab onto anything to get me out
i cannot even begin to count
all of the words that have stung
i remember all when that bell rung
pushing me, making me fall
so deep in nobody can hear me call
all of my energy has washed away
this sinking feeling has come to stay
all i have is thoughts as i drift away
this sinking feeling has come to stay
all i have is thoughts as i drift away
i remember everything, and everything is not ok

Sound of my voice

I hate the sound of my voice
everyday seems like a diffrent struggle
and honestly its not like i have a choice
all of my burdens i am forced to juggle
my choices in the end make me shiver with regret
it all just leads to trouble
nothing i do is ever correct
i am left in a pile of rubble
the storm is over and gone
but im still not over it
im lost and im going to end up gone
for ive stopped talking so as to get rid of one of my struggles

Take you Home

I just really want to be there for you
but i don't always know how to 
all i can help with is what ive already been through
i know it hurts ive been there too
so when your at the brink of it all
im at the edge ready to take the fall
with you all the way down
im not going to make you go it alone
and one day we'll turn around
and im going to take you home

Crying

On the bathroom floor crying
why do i always end up lying
about everything not really important
what did i really mean by any of it
im so lost, and sad, im dying
why do i lie on the floor crying?
mabye because no one ever comes to help me up
i can be screaming, but they all just close up there ears
they dont want to hear it
but when somethings happened their all suprised
like they had no idea i was just crying for help
the pain was something only i felt

Floodlight

My mind is a mess tonight
please could you leave on a floodlight
for me to see because im so blind
to miss what i had right in front of my eyes
now all i have left is to sit here and cry
but first let me come home
for i no longer have anywhere else to roam

One thing about me

I just want one thing
one thing to make me different 
one thing to make me special
one thing to make me, me
but whenever ive found something
somebody else alrdy seems to have it
now its our thing, not mine
and while thats all fine
i want one thing for me
but i keep sharing even when ive found something
i cant help it
i want others to fall in love with things to
i want to share
but i also want one thing for me
but that will never happen
or perhaps this is that one thing
what would you call this though?
me?
 

I just really care about You

I just really care about you
thats why im writing this
thats why im doing any of this
i have no idea who i am
or who you are
all i know is that i care about you
and that i'll find you again
no matter how hard it is
i'll find you and tell you how much i care about you
and even if you tell me to go away
i will be content
because i know you'll know
i just really care about you

Unplanned life

I could sit here planning this out
when something doesn't work out i could pout
but what diffrence will it make
how much pressure could i take
things will happen how they happen
life will send me away packing
i have no control over my life
that realization cuts deep like a knife
im still only a girl
whos definitely not a pearl
only a rock am i
even though i do try
but planning will get me no where
so i will sit here without a care
in a life made for the unaware
my sorrows i promise not to share

You and Me

Me and you
I don't want to lose
what i think this is
but whatd id really miss
is the time i don't have to think
because you know im at the brink
of losing it
thats why you don't make it hard
im allowed to lay down my cards
and not think about any of this
but will this really last?
you don't judge me for my past
which is a rare thing to find so please don't leave my mind
because while i don't want to think
i still want you and me

Mirror on my wall

Smashed the mirror on my wall
all the broken glass falls
i pick them up, one by one
they feel like they weigh a ton
all my mysery and sorrow
these gladd shards have borrowed
they didn't know what they got themselves into
as payback to me they tear into

Fear of heights

Im not scared of heights
climbing up these flights
im only scared of falling
who are you calling?
but mabye thats not you
i try not to lose
but i missed a step
i grab but nothings there
im not scared of heights
i just dont know where im falling to

Geometry

I kinda like geometry
im not very good at it though
i kinda like geometry
it has a beautiful flow
theres a formula for anything
and once you know it, you know everything
it is so lovely to visualize 
the shapes of every size
i kinda like geometry

Poetry and Spoken Word Competition: 2021

A Blurry Image of Me

I wonder how I seem on the outside,
when I barely even know whats in the inside.
I wonder what people really think of me,
if they learned the truth would they leave?
Would I be too much to handle,
burning forests a lit candle,
or would I be not as exciting as they thought?
How long will it be till I'm caught?
Am I a faker,
when no ones a taker,
of my messed up self.
Im the last one left on the shelf.
Can you see straight through me,
or is the door locked, do you need a key?
Can you put up with everything I try to be,
or is it too much will you just leave?
Im trying so hard,
trying to play the right cards,
but in the end my mask will fall.
Is it my name you will still call?
The true me is not the one I thought i'd be,
fighting so hard,...

My mirror's fear

I take too long in the mirror 
replaying all of my fears
i take too long on the floor
trying to drive the hate deep into my core
why am i so destructive
why am i so reluctant 
why do i struggle to move
once I'm stuck in a groove
my feet can't move
if this is a game im about to lose
i take too long in the mirror
being shattered is its only fear

Back from the past

Its back 
i thought id left it in my past
but its back
its an internal disease thats spreading fast
its leaking out of me
encasing me in a mold
im caught so still
I can't even breath through a hole
its killing me fast
so it can take over again
visions from my past
make me bleed out of my skin
im gone
its back
i though id left in in my past 

Everyday is the same

Everyday is the same
when things stay the same,, thats when you feel the change
i keep telling myself that one day I'll be able to do this
but i think that's all this rly is
just something i keep telling myself 
just another dream to put up on a shelf
they say change is good
but staying the same really should
But it isn't, while it could
It never really would
Make any sense at all
reality always does seem to lull
I shall go throughout my day
but everyday is the same
 

My thoughts

All I hear is my own thoughts
i have to focus harder then ever
to hear other's words

Noises annoy me too much
but when i turn them off
I'm all thats left

I want to bury them deep down
somewhere i won't even remember to find
them

I want to hide all the time now 
that way no when has
a chance of reading them
 

Harsh Wrongings

My face is all wrong
my neck is too long
why do i judge myself so much?
When i seem so gentle to the touch
inside I'm an evil witch
mabye id be prettier if i were rich
then i could redo some of the things that are wrong
My thoughts bounce back and forth like ping-pongs
but deep down i will never be fully content
i will always be too harsh on myself about all my failed attempts 

Stronger together

How can in the midst of confusion and chaos, happiness be found? Is it when we are alone with ourselves, with our own thoughts, nothing else, that were happiest? Or is it when we are with a loving family, friends we can laugh with, people who care about us that were happiest? During covid we have been separated from these people we have been separated from out happiness, but we haven't really. We took for granted the outings with friends, the big family get togethers, the brunches, the being with other human beings. We took that for granted. We've had to make more of an effort then before to stay in contact with people, but is that such a bad thing? We've figured out how to use zoom, we've wrote more letters, sent more cards, made more phone calls then ever before. We've realized what the people in our lives really mean to us. We've grown even more comfortable with...

Thinking obsession

Where can I go?
what can i do?
when all im doing is waiting it through
whats in it for me?
is such a selfish thing to think
But i can't help but think it
its become an obsession
where am i going?
What shall i do?
do i have any right to even think of you?
But as i sit here thinking of me
i cant help but to also think of you

Hear my thoughts

I can't hear my own thoughts
my story has too many sub plots
why does it hurt to breath?
why does everyone leave?
Im running too fast 
Trying to run away from my past 
i trip and fall on the ground
My heart starts to pound
they know! They've found out!
knowing they haven't is all that counts
just keep running
dont be so cunning
i cant hear my own thoughts
But if i can't, they no one else can either

Alone

My pen is running out of ink
i fall face first onto the ice rink
my hands are frozen and numb
i feel my heart burn so I pop a tum
But this is not a thing that can be fixed
there is no healing formula that can be mixed
you shall leave me to rot
right here on this cot
please im growing so cold
i see on the wall there grows mold
please leave me alone
go make a call on the phone
for someone to take you away
but right here i will stay

Everything I thought I knew

Everything i thought I knew
was undone, and rewritten by you
a broken plate even if you glue it, will always have cracks.
In my head i was the definition of everything that lacks
but everything i thought i knew was undone, and rewritten by you
 

Cutting back

I bite my fingernails back
i hang up my schedule with a tack
my anxiety makes it so i can't even go to the cafeteria room
My heart won't shut up it just keeps pounding, boom, boom
I cant even hide in the bathroom, too much drama, too much vaping smoke
I sit outside waiting for my friend while im drinking a coke
She's late, im alone, all alone, alone, alone
my hearts screaming in my head, call home, call home, call home
I bite my fingernails back
i take down my schedule and my tack 
my anxiety makes it so i can't even leave my room
so i settle with a call from a close friend over zoom
 

Soaring high

I'm going to go down in history right?
my name will be screamed in the wind,  flying high like a kite
I will never fall,  for I have fallen so many times I can now fly 
Yet you think your a frog who can swallow this fly
but in the end you will hop away 
Because deep down you are too scared of these flames
I'm going to go down in history right?
I'm going to soar through the sky like a kite.
 

I am a poet

Since when am I a poet 
since when is this my thing
when i was little i would tell you that i hate poetry
But now it's the only thing i have
the only thing that keeps me sane
don't tell me to stay in my own lane
because poetry is now my thing

Something else controlling

Why am I so silent?
am i not my own pilot?
but it feels like someone else is controlling 
Like someone else is strolling
Through my thoughts, through my heart
It's stealing things and running off with its cart
Leaving me feeling empty and alone
i am dead in my own tomb

St.Patricks day

Today is St.Patricks day
an Irish tune we shall play
and drink green tea all the live long day
Hooray! For St.Patrick
For spreading the good news
of light, a new life, and a reason never to play the blues
Hooray! For St.Patrick
Pinch anyone who forgets his name
please play an Irish tune, and drink green tea all the live long day!

Year by Year

My life in memory's

2006 Year one- I was born in August on a Thursday in the early morning. I refused to open my eyes for the longest time. I already knew this world would be difficult to look at, at times.

2007 Year two- I'm sitting in a crib with my cousin, she is crying for my mother, I am preoccupied with my stuffed animals.

2008 Year three- My mother and I walk my brother to the bus stop, he doesn't like taking the bus, but my mother needs to be home with me. I dont want him to leave, but he doesn't want to stay with me.

2009 Year four- I crawl through the big bears mouth, not a real bear, just a tent that looks like a bear. My cousin and I play in the bear, her favorite thing to play is doctor, but she always makes me be the patient.

2010 Year five- I'm just learning my letters and numbers...

Friendships speak

Friendships bind us together as one
friendships bring love, laughter, and fun
When a friendship ends we are sad but we need to remember
that there are some things that can not be undone
such as memory's, the past, the things that make us, us
we are made up of all the things we have heard,
the things we have done, even when they were absurd
every word our friends speak
no matter how silly, no matter how deep
paves the way for our future to be what it will be
so don't be sad when a friendship ends
don't take for granted when one begins
for these are the things that will make you, become you in the end.

days going by fast

why are the days going by so fast?
how long is all of this really going to last?
every time things start to get, normal, happy, or pleasant
things change in an instant, with little warning im rushed along like a peasant
how is this fair? its not is the fact
there will always be something that lacks
theres not such thing as happy days
only happy moments that come in a phase
when one door closes another door opens
that doesn't mean that the one that opened, will be anything real, anything stoned in
everythings fake, nothing lasts
until the last actors have been cast
everything will go by in a flash

stay with you

i will have your back
i know were on the right track
i promise to be there for you
please promise the same for me too
theres such a diffrence in friends these days
it all comes down to the person who stays
i promise to stay right here
because i don't want to see a single tear

I pray for you

I pray for you
every morning i do
as im standing in the showe
i pray god takes care of you
i pray he walks with you throughout the day
i pray nothing leads you astray
i pray for you good health
i pray for you a long life, and i promise thats not a lie
while you might not be here with me
and mabye you never will be
you are on my thoughts tonight
so i'll pray for you once again
i wonder if anyone prays for me
i wonder if anyone prays for the trees
my faith might not always be completly strong
but i promise i'll pray for you all my life long
every morning
every night
just know i'll pray for you

Time for two

But i'm really happy for you
i know you would say the same thing too
this doesn't feel right
this me, and this you
but i'll be willing to hide those feeling tonight
just for a chance for me to say my goodbyes
i feel like those words never cross my lips
but i promise to give them to you.
i hope you know, i will always be happy for the time spent with you
even if the time was borrowed, it was just enough for us two

To be with me

How far would you really go to be with me?
would you even carve our initals into a tree?
how long can i count on you to stay?
would you pack your bags and leave the minute your feelings start to sway
how much can i count on you to pay?
or do you have too many debts already?
are my burdens too heavy to lay
on you, your heart, your mind, your time
i sit here listening to the bells in the wind chime
counting each time, to see how long it takes for my thoughts to come back to you
if they take too long, are you gone?
i'm not trying to push you around like a pawn
is that how this seems?
i try to search your eyes but they are dead tonight
how far would you really go to be with me?
because i'm starting to think you don't really hold the key.

Friendships speak

Friendships bind us together as one
friendships bring love, laughter, and fun
When a friendship ends we are sad but we need to remember
that there are some things that can not be undone
such as memory's, the past, the things that make us, us
we are made up of all the things we have heard,
the things we have done, even when they were absurd
every word our friends speak
no matter how silly, no matter how deep
paves the way for our future to be what it will be
so don't be sad when a friendship ends
don't take for granted when one begins
for these are the thigs that will make you, become you in the end.

Single Greatest Challenge

Speak now

Speak!
Speak up and speak out
(but I don't want to seem too boisterous)
(I don't want to seem too loud)
Stand!
stand up and stand now
(but I dont want to seem too radical)
(I dont want to seem too proud)
(cant you do it for me?)
but you need to do it now
(Im too scared of this crowd)
but there cheering for you now
Speak!
speak up and speak out
do it for the people who cant
and you need to do it now

walking by myself

walking by myself
why do i always keep my head down?
trying to please everyone
even when there is a big crowd
i tell myself to be confident
but whenever i put myself into it
i try to make myself invisible
why is everyone still staring at me?
but there not staring at me
i need to be less self centered
they must think i'm so stupid now
time to walk by myself again

red stained moths

Butterflies in my cup
eating icecream straight from the tub
i can't be bothered, im in my bliss
or mabye im just stuck
stuck in my head, stuck in my bed
my vision turns straight red
because i knocked my head to hard against the wall
im hurting so bad, but i don't fall
im depressed, im bipolar, what else can you label?
when all i crave is a mothers loving cradle
i want to be comforted but i can't in the end
this garden of mine, i really need to tend
the weeds are growing thick
i'm waiting for something to click
i finally fall to the ground, red stains my lips
turns out there were moths in my cup
 

Music in my head

Music takes up a large space in my head
you turn it off and i might as well be dead
dancing with my eyes closed i can't see where i'm going
i'm in a cold,sweaty,confusion all the while its snowing
i can't be forced to listen to my own thoughts
it would kill me like nothing you could imagine
can you please hum a tune for me?
because i feel like i can't breath

Greaving tomorrow

I don't want to think about my future
I don't want to ponder over what comes next
I want to sit here drunk in my own sorrow
of the fact that he's never coming back
i don't want to think about what i'll wear tomorrow
because i already know i'll be wearing black
i'm going to sit here greaving over the fact
my future will be nothing compared to my past

Desperate for your attention (part four)

I sit here in silence
my anxiety fills me for when its gone
you ruin me but honestly you were never wrong
you've shown me what its like to be confident in myself
and hate every bit of myself at the same time
But its time for me to grow up
it's time for me to move on when you don't show up
because i've been so desperate for your attention 
i've forgotten all about me

Desperate for you attention (part three)

Trying to get me jealous will get you no where
My comback to you will be that I just don't care
But deep down you are tearing me apart
It's a feud I hold with myself deep down in my heart
Why do you have to be such a jerk about the situation
Can't you see the pain you cause me brings no me no admiration for you
But you don't care at the moment
You'll only care when you want me
My tears are drowing out everything that was once desperate for your attention

Tell me who I am

What's my personality?
Please tell me who I am
What happened in my life to make me how I am?
Only you can tell me, please judge me from afar
Use your graphs and statistics to place me in my box
Please tell me what you think because I can't make a decision
Who should I be? 
I want to ponder over this night and day
Until I become nothing
And I'm filled with dismay

Living and dying

I will bleed out for
you
i will die everyday for
you
all i ask is that you live for
me
please just give me this one
thing

2 years later

If we had met 2 years later
this might have turned out a whole lot better
but no, we had to meet
the month after i screwed up bad
If we had met 2 years later
same place,, same day
Diffrent year
i promise things would have turned out better
and mabye you'd still be here 

A fear of rain

I have a fear of rain
because it is much braver then I
I have a fear of thunder
because it screams while i am silent 
i have a fear of lightning 
because while its seen i stay hidden
i have a fear of rain 
because i am much too scared to cry

Speak now

Speak!
Speak up and speak out
(but i don't want to seem too boisterous)
(i don't want to seem too loud)
Stand!
stand up and stand now
(but I dont want to seem too radical)
(I dont want to seem too proud)
(cant you do it for me?)
but you need to do it now
(Im too scared of this crowd)
but there cheering for you now
Speak!
speak up and speak out
do it for the people who cant
and you need to do it now

A bit about me

Prompt 1

1. What is your favorite genre to write? 
    Poetry
2. What is your favorite genre to read?
YA fiction, John Green is my fave author
3. What draws you to the WtW community? 
    I love how this gives me a place to write freely and feel accepted 
4. What do you find most challenging about writing?
      continuing a storyline, I get too sidetracked and distracted lol
5. Most exhilarating?  
    Inspiring others through my writing is the best thing like ever. The best thing about writing is when u lose yourself in what your doing and don't even realize your writing anymore 
6. What is one goal that you have for yourself while here? 
    I want to get better at writing, inspire others and have a safe place to share my thoughts

Prompt 2
   
    My name is Kasidy. Yeah I know spelled rly weird. My middle name is Lee notice why my...

A broken half of me

I'm cutting off a part of me to make myself feel better
im losing something from my past so i can can try to move forward
when i finally start to understand the half of me I've chosen
You miss the one i got rid of 
but now i am broken

You have a place with me

You just want someone to trust
Well I'm here, not lying, not fighting
just here
you can put your trust in me
i promise to not brake you to pieces 
i know what betrayal feels like
i know how the pain can be hard to forget
i would do anything to hold you
and love all the pain away
i would do anything to make you happy
to bring you peace
so if your having trust issues
know you have a place with me

Desperate for your attention (part two)

Why you so up and down?
why you leave me then want me back so fast
Why do you get around
then always come back to me as your side piece
why do my thoughts always come back to you
when all you do is hurt me
when I'm watching planes overhead
They sound like death rumbling up my street
I pray they take me away
Because I'm desperate for your attention 
And your desperate for me 
but not in the right ways
 

A hundred relationships in one (part two)

Strangers
i was friends with your bestfriend but I didn't know you
Afterwards i found out i didn't really know your friend either 

Friends
you needed me and i found out i needed you
but that need turned into too many wants for a friendship alone

Lovers
we would never admit we loved each other, so mabye we really didn't but we needed each other in ways thats more then just friends with benefits

Enemies
you thought you knew me but you didn't
i was afraid I didn't know you either
mabye i really didn't 
i dont hate you i still need you but 
I cant

Friends
i dont know if this is really true it probably isn't
How can you do this to me 
doesnt matter cause you dont know what your doing
Please dont leave 
but I'm scared to keep you

Strangers 
mabye this is the only relationship we've ever had
mabye nothing was even real 
i dont...

A hundred relationships in one

Strangers
Enemies 
Friends
Lovers
Enemies 
Friends
Strangers
how can we be all of these things but be nothing at all
How can i not want you but need you all the same
please don't leave me but i can't handle you
i love you i hate you
why do i need you why do i not?
A hundred relationships in one

A hundred relationships in one

Strangers
Enemies 
Friends
Lovers
Enemies 
Friends
Strangers
how can we be all of these things but be nothing at all
How can i not want you but need you all the same
pleade don't leave me but i can't handle you
i love you i hate you
why do i need you why do i not?
A hundred relationships in one

This Valentines Day

I haven't always been that sure of you
Not sure what place you would hold in my life
not sure of the level of comfort
Not sure of anything at all
but you think I'm adorable and innocent
a title i lost years ago
you dont see the screw up mess
That everyone else that matters to me has labeled 
all the people that hold a meaning in my life
a meaning where i would feel the loss if they ever left it
Has left me in one form or another
All these people have scarred me with there words
Changing me in ways, making me grow up a little faster 
theyve made me think of people differently 
i think i know you
please tell me i do
but i trust you
which is hard for me
so when I tell you, you mean something to me
I hope that means something to you
somedays i feel hope slipping away ...

This Valentines Day

I haven't alway been that sure of you
Not sure what what place you would hold in my life
not sure of the level of comfort
Not sure of anything at all
but you think I'm adorable and innocent
a title i lost years ago
you dont see the screw up mess
That everyone else that matters to me has labeled 
all the people that hold a meaning in my life
a meaning where i would feel the loss if they ever left it
Has left me in one form or another
All these people have scarred me with there words
Changing me in ways, making me grow up a little faster 
theyve made me think of people differently 
i think i know you
please tell me i do
but i trust you
which is hard for me
so when I tell you, you mean something to me
I hope that means something to you
somedays i feel hope slipping...

Desperate for your attention

I text you, when i haven't heard a reply in a day
you asked me to send you some so i did
but now that you've got what you want
you've gone away
so i texted you even though i told myself not to
better to not seem desperate
but i am, not in the ways your thinking
desperate for your attention.

Dreams losing matter

It takes me forever to fall asleep 
constantly blaming myself for everything
then when i finally start to dream
i'm hit with a wave of confusion
i swear my dreams know more then i do
but they keep reminiscing on past times
worries that shouldn't matter anymore
they keep making them real again
and i feel as if im losing matter
soon i'm going to be weightless and lifeless
floating through space as if nothing matters.

Hey Jerkface

Hey jerkface 
you really hurt my feelings
I can't say you broke my heart though 
I guess you never really had it to begin with
Hey jerkface
you don't know me as well as you thought you did
I guess I really didn't either
but none of that really matters 
anymore
because your just a jerkface
and I'm just a screw up
I guess we worked well together
mabye we were just too much alike
because mabye I'm the jerkface.

You were a frog and I a fly


                              Remember when our biggest fears were the adults catching us
                              Remember when we sat like panthers stalking our prey
                              Remember when you were so carefree and I was a jokester trying to get a smile on your
                              face
                              Remember when the ashes painted your dark hair like snow
                              Remember when we sat too close
                              Remember when...