nolongeractive

United States

Published Work

control

I love to be in command
And, I love attention
I snap back like a rubberband
It’s my obsession
Don’t tell me what to do
‘Cause, I am never wrong
Listen to what I tell you
Or face the repercussions
 
I love control
Can’t deny it
I specialize in dark magic
I love control
Can’t refuse it
If you stick around, you should get used to it
I’m never wrong, I’m always right
You can’t shine brighter than my light
I love control
Can’t deny it, can’t deny it
 
You must put respect on my name
‘Cause, I have a temper
If you want to play my game
You must remember
I’m just too good to be true
If you listen and behave
Even if you feel used
It's best if you obey
 
I love control
Can’t deny it
Bow down or I’ll work my magic
I love control
Can’t refuse it
If you stick around, you...

worth of a woman

“Sew all the clothes and work in the kitchen
Obey your husband and raise the children
Your ideas don’t matter”
That’s what they said
“Men hold the highest stature”
But, that was then
 
“Always wear a dress and make your waist small
Brush your hair and stand up tall
Looks are your service”
That’s what they thought
“Men hold all the purpose”
But, they were wrong
 
Fighting against the inhuman
What would we do without women?
Leading the world’s evolution
To me, that’s the worth of a woman
 
Voicing the healing
Overachieving
Always believing
To me, that’s the worth of a woman
Voicing the healing
Overachieving
Always believing
To me, that’s the worth of a woman
 
“Don’t speak your mind and keep your mouth shut
Move discreetly or just stay put
Women should be seen and not heard”
That’s how they lived
“Independent women are absurd”
And, they lived a lie
 
Fighting against the inhuman ...

madelaine

I just want to be you
I just want to be perfect
What I’d give to be different
With a platform to grow
 
Next to you, I’m boring
Home while you’re touring
They won’t come to my show
 
Leave me, I’m crying
Deja vu
I’m me, I’m lost
You’re me, what they see
Each tear is a reason
Each cry tells me why
I want to be you
 
Madelaine
Madelaine
 
And, I really want to hate you
Your red’s what made me blue
Buried beneath the Walk of Fame
 
Sometimes, I feel useless
I’m determined to change this
Let’s start with your name
 
So, leave me, I’m crying
Deja vu
I’m me, I’m lost
You’re me, what they see
Each tear is a reason
Each cry tells me why
I want to be you
 
Madelaine
Madelaine
 
I run to your fire
I’m not scared to get burned
I want to be happy ...

her

I feel worthless, I want to change
I feel different, they think I’m strange
I want to reverse the time, but how?
Born as her, nobody else
But, it’s something I’ve been scared to speak about

If I was her
Would I feel better now?
How?
Living like her
Would I be happy now?
How?

She is gorgeous, she has power
She’s so strong, and I’m a coward
I wouldn’t have to scream and shout
To be noticed whenever I go out
But, it’s something I’ve been scared to speak about

She has so many things
Fame, money, and beauty
And, I will never find peace
Until the day she becomes the ‘new me’

If I was her
Would I feel better now?
How?
Living like her
Would I be happy now?
How?

If I was her
Would I feel better now?
How?
Living like her
Would I be happy now?
How?

She has so many things
Fame, money, and...

easy

I always manage to make the tears stop, before someone sees or hears
Living behind a backdrop
But, I can’t make the sadness disappear
I know you want me to be happy
But, it’s easier if you let me be

And, I pretend that it’s not hard for me, making it look easy
So, you think my life is easy

It’s never easy staying knowing they’ll just end up leaving
Yet, I still carry on so perfectly
The world has cut me up, but my words are a band-aid over the bleeding
I’m made of glass but you’ll never see through me
‘Cause, I make it look easy

Alone in the backseat
I just wave when they ask me, “what’s up?”
I say that I feel complete
‘Cause, the truth won’t be enough
My tears could float a sailboat
But, I wipe my eyes in case you turn and see

And, I pretend that it’s not hard for me, to...

hidden figures of december

Growing with the time
Paved below every street
Ending all my friends
Lie to make amends
In a country’s cage, hidden as free

What does it take to change?
Can you win by ignoring defeat?
Another year will come and go
Secrets buried in winter snow
One day you’ll truly know
The Hidden Figures in December

Will I ever be the same?
Will I paint my truth in lies?
A mask you won’t adore
Shields an innocent gore
New season, same disguise

Will I ever be the same?
Will I paint my truth in lies?
A mask you won’t adore
Shields an innocent gore
New season, same disguise

Dead before I’m gone
Some turn right and I turn wrong
Feeling alone and strange
With the years, I never change
Fallen before the dawn

Swallowed by the sun
Swallowed by the sun
Follow, as you prefer the day
The moon shines just as bright
You ignore; sleep on the night
The...

the sun is lonely and still shines

There is a reason you can't spell 'alone' without 'one'
And, there is a reason you can't spell 'sun' without 'u'

The sun is lonely and it still shines
Who says I can’t do the same?
And, I am often alone
But, I can make it on my own
‘Cause, the sun is lonely and it still shines

For light, we look to the sun up in the sky
But, its fire keeps the stars from saying, “Hi!”
My friends say they’ll keep in touch
And, they never miss me much
I am doing fine

The sun is lonely and it still shines
Who says I can’t do the same?
And, I am often alone
But, I can make it on my own
‘Cause, the sun is lonely and it still shines

I really am too good at being mean
I copy what the villains do on-screen
I’m just doing me
And, if the sun had a light switch
It...

wish i loved you in the 80s

I wish I loved you back in the 80s
Close your eyes and let’s turn back the time
It’s me and you
In the winter of ‘82

You and I explore the cities and towns
And, we’d decide what was and wasn’t allowed
Who would say “no?”
Won’t be hurt by what they didn’t know

The holidays would roll around, we’d all be bright and merry
When school got out, we’d watch ‘A Christmas Carol’ at my house
Wrapping gifts beside the fireplace
And, out the window, it began to snow

So, we’d go

Sledding in the hills and, in the mountains, we would ski
Throwing snowballs at the neighbors and we’d duck before they turned to see
I’ve got the time machine, I just need my best friend
It’s a classic 1980s film and we just made the cast list

I’d sneak out of my window to find you
Take my hand, won’t leave a trace or a clue ...

footprint lessons

The world, an angel’s beach
Leave a lesson, yours to teach
I promise, I promise
For you, I’ll do the math
Follow my footprints, take the right path
I can help you, but this road is the longest
But if I'm honest
You’ll be the strongest

You’ll follows the steps that line down the sand
You think I’m crazy now, but one day you’ll understand
I leave you on the right path, your success has been planned
It’s out of my control, it’s yours to decide
Live has its ups and downs, so the directions I’ll provide

Footprint lessons, footprint lessons, footprint lessons, make no transgressions
I learned from my mistakes and now I leave you with this message
Footprint lessons, footprint lessons, footprint lessons, take my confessions
I’ve made many errors but I hope you have succession
Footprint lessons, footprint lessons

Life is sweet like a flower
But one's innocence is what it will devour
Follow this brick road,...

i am mad

I’m a hypocrite
Your local narcissist
If I don’t control or get my way
I most likely will throw a fit
I’m a pessimist
And, I’m ok with it
No one cares for me
‘Cause, who could ever love a lunatic?

And, I admit that I’ve gone mad, I am mad
What can I say?
I am mad at the future and I am mad at today
I know I drive you mad, I am mad
Who could stay?
But, at least I have myself at the end of every day

I like to talk a lot
I love to call the shots
I tend to argue and argue until they’ve had enough
I’m not always right
But, I still put up a fight
You probably think I’m crazy just from reading all the words I write

And, I admit that I’ve gone mad, I am mad
What can I say?
I am mad at the future and I am...

kindness

The world cut out a piece of me, and you’re the only one who’d see
Lean on your kindness, your kindness

And I have never known, why I have always been alone
Learned from your guidance, met with your kindness
I never would’ve believed that, you’d be the one to save me
Crying through the seasons
I lost myself, and you picked up all the pieces
Now I see it, you tell me that I’m worth it
I know I don’t deserve it, but past is past and it’s true that

I can’t control
My opinions, speak from the soul
I'll never find the words to say but I’m thankful
And I wish I could’ve known

That the world would cut out a piece of me, and you’d be the only one to see
Lean on your kindness, lightened from your brightness
And I have never known, why I have always been alone
Learned from your guidance, met with your...

simon says (with Parisienne)

Simon says forget you 
And I've tried to do the same
But no matter who I’m talking to
You're always on my brain
But, even on my tip-toes
I couldn't reach your ego
 
Simon says scratch my head
And that's exactly what I do
Trying always to figure out 
What I really mean to you
 
Ari said, ‘no tears left to cry’
But to me, that is just a lie
Because I know we said ‘goodbye’
Yet, what we had, I can’t defy
 
Simon says to love myself, and each day I look in the mirror
But when I look through your pictures
I only feel inferior
Simon says to touch my toes and show him what he’s missing
But I can’t bend and snap back since all I’m missing is you

Simon says to start again
To try with someone new
But I’ve never been one to go with the crowd
Can’t lie - I still...

dungeon

Lost for you
It’s not true
Brighten the dark
Rain in the park
Do not disrespect your heart
Hearing what it needs, ignoring all its pleas
My feelings mean nothing
Life in a dungeon
Locked away in the dark
Can you let me go?
Can you let it go?

Is it wrong to show?
Can I freely grow?
Burned in the night 
Tortured by fright
Can you let me go?
Can you let it go?
Hidden in despair
I want you all to know?
Doomed in the dungeon
Alone
Like home

Am I worth nothing?
Because I’m hiding something?
Locked away in the dark
Can you let me go?
Can you let it go?
Is it wrong to show?
Can I freely grow?
Burned in the night 
Tortured by fright
Can you let me go?
Can you let it go?

Hidden in despair
I want you all to know?
Doomed in the dungeon
I need to know if the village...

below the magma

I won't tell you I'm lonely
'Cause it might be selfish
The levels of the earth suffocate me
A world’s weight, carry it yourself
I wish that one day
I could tell you
What I’ve always wanted to say
But the world cannot change
In the depths of despair
Where my questions will rest
Make a home down there

Is there love above the ground?
Above the ground
Will I stay buried, or rise up and see?

I can't make it to the sky
On the back of an angel
The tenth circle of Dante’s inferno
Heated by magma, never touched by the cold
Is asking a risk? Will I ever know?
In the depths of despair
Where my questions will rest
Make a home down there

Is there love above the ground?
Above the ground
Will I stay buried, or rise up and see?
Or should I stay hidden, safe and sound?
Safe and sound?
Is it safer, below...

dangerous

You’re better off by yourself
I'm not the place to go looking for help
Success is my priority, each and every day
Your sun will fall victim to my ceaseless shade
I tell you what’s wrong and what's right
I am the queen of my own life
You’ll end up dying, but you keep on trying
So, turn right, because my direction is wrong

‘Cause nobody would love me
But, alone I am free
So, I love myself every day; every way
I am dangerous; I’m warning you to stay away
You’d probably hate me
Evil is contagious
'Cause I'm warning you, I am dangerous

The money I have, I have earned
I’m needy and moody, you’d be better off with her
'Cause you don’t wanna mix with my crimes
You’re here to stay, but I ride with the night
And you don’t know anything about me
I always bring fever; to the hundredth degree
You should’ve been prepared, ‘cause...

Mid-February Grab Bag

born a villain

PROMPT: A poem about what makes you different from everyone else in the world (by AbellePuppy34)

Who’s too good for me? What makes a villain?
One who can’t see? My selfless killing?
I locked you up to stop the spreading
It’s all for you, and you continue shredding
I love you when you’re all alone, but am I a clone?
Would a villain take you, would a villain save you, would a villain love you?
Would a villain guard you, would a villain help you, would a villain hold you?
Am I enough to keep you steady?
I speak my truth, but you’ll never see me
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer
I build your bike and you run me over
I love you when you’re all alone, but am I a clone?
Would a villain take you, would a villain save you, would a villain love you?
Would a villain guard you, would a villain help...

the farm

I can hear your thoughts and laughter
Through the fields and greenest pasture
Sleeping with the thought of you safe on the other side of the wall
Every month I’d come and visit
Walk the pond, warm and moonlit
You grew the pumpkin that carried me to the ball

I think I’ve heard these cries before
I really thought we were never-ending
I thought you’d be the one that I died for
But I never got the chance to
You were the rocket that made me soar
And now I’m broken; shattered on the grown
You were my town, you were my life
And I blame myself for letting you down
I thought you’d be the one that I died for

I still smell your warm spaghetti
By the fire, waiting for it to be ready
‘Cause you could always see me through the smoke
School plays, birthdays, and dances
Found myself lost in your caring glances
Your arms shielded...

wonderland

Happily-Ever-After is all lies
Just a nightmare in disguise
I wonder who I’m meant to be
Will I ever be happy?
In this life, this life
I wish I was born as someone else
Each day I cry over myself
And every tear's a rain parade from hell
I have a wish, but where’s the well?

I want to be taken to my wishful thinking
Take me to Wonderland, where I don’t have to understand
Bring me to Dreamland, where my wishes are at my own command
Fly me to Neverland, bring some magic, and take my hand
And I'm hating myself when I think that my dreams may not come true 

I seek the world where I’m the one they all knew
Is there a world so kind?
Is this all in my mind?
But I guess it is what I’ve got, since I can’t turn back time
You should know that it breaks my heart thinking about what...

villain

Who’s too good for me? What makes a villain?
One who can’t see? My selfless killing?
I locked you up to stop the spreading
It’s all for you, and you continue shredding
I love you when you’re all alone, but am I a clone?

Would a villain take you, would a villain save you, would a villain love you?
Would a villain guard you, would a villain help you, would a villain hold you?
Am I enough to keep you steady?
I speak my truth, but you’ll never see me
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer
I build your bike and you run me over
I love you when you’re all alone, but am I a clone?

Would a villain take you, would a villain save you, would a villain love you?
Would a villain guard you, would a villain help you, would a villain hold you?

Am I a villain? I’m caring and kind
I give you my...

bed of lies

I wish that we could've been friends
I wish we lived in a different life
But you’ve taken me over the edge
Fooled me once, but never twice
You say you didn't mean it
But I won’t lay in your bed of lies
Your bed of lies
You really think I’m faking, faking? 
No
I've tried but I can’t take it, take it
No
But it’s out of my control
And I know it’s my time, but let me ask why

Why did you lie?
Breaking me then reeling me back in
Take what’s mine
My church was poisoned by all your sin
I wish you knew that even I
Won’t take pity on your cries
Lay in your bed of lies
You think that I couldn’t see it

'Cause lies will never hold disguise
You think that I will believe it
But now I read in between the lines
You underestimate my insight
And my bark is much worse...

let my love lift you

Can we pretend?
For one more night
That gravity will keep you
In my arms for life
Endure the wrong, to make you feel right
Stay, stay, stay, it’s not time to go
Do you think I can make it alone?

Angels like you can’t fly down here with me
I’m blinded by grief, but one day I’ll see
Fly you to your throne, and I’ll be your drone
I’ll lift you beyond
As God brings you home
Let my love lift you above
A world of grey, a coal in the rough
The helium that flies your balloon
My love will now guide you
We’ll meet again soon

My arms can only lift a few pounds
But my heart is the strongest
Bench press the cruelty that surrounds
Take my hand, we’ll soar through the clouds
If you need a lift, if you need support
I’ll fly you to the moon and back
My love needs no airport
I...

ending a friend

End a friend, pull them back in
Break a friend, burn them in sin
I’d stop if you told me to
You took a bullet for me, but I’m who fired
When you’re cold, I release the snow
I wish you’d leave me, for you
Ending a friend, I wonder
If it takes thunder
To make your sky feel free of dark and rain
Am I a fool?
Again?

Break down, for us
Erase your touch
You’re too good for me
I’ll end you, to let you go
It’s all for you, and I hope you know

Ending a friend, I wonder
If it takes thunder
The make your sky feel free of dark and rain
In my tomb
A two-person room
They'll relieve us from others’ sight
Laying me down, you and me for life

I’m the rain released from your clouds
Would you revive me to life?
But, would you be here? 
You're cold as a night
Roommates...

you

Dancing in the rain
I saw you in the sky
Even though it’s in vain
Is it impossible?
Am I even tolerable?
I know that I could be the one to make you laugh
Reach out for your love, and get nothing back

I know I’d be happiest with you
You don’t even know me but I love you
You don’t know that I find our to be more than true
But I wish I'd be happy
It would be me and you

I know you’re the rocket, and I’m afraid of heights
I know one day I’ll meet someone new
Just know that I’d be happiest with you
I’d fight off the world, make you see it too
Behind the fake smile that hides the truth
Can I be happy, without you?
Alone in a crowded room
Telling myself, ‘suck it up’ 
Vacuum
A mountain with no view

Should I try to find happiness, for you?
You’ll never see...

white noise

On a ladder
But I still couldn’t reach your ego
I need to grow
But not until you let me go
Spread on the sand
Before you dump all your snow
You’ll never show me, love
It lifts up two other boys

You won’t see me again, and you’ll no longer have a voice
‘Cause I’ve got all this white noise
In my mind, in my mind
And I play it every time
That you say you’ll be kind
And I’ve got this white noise
In my mind, in my mind
Living through the pain 
The noise keeps me sane
Blocking out the lies
As you say you’re gonna change
Sorry won’t save you now

You’ve had sixteen years to turn it around
Tear me, push me, pull me down
Your reign will end
Remove your crown
Listen before I move out
Our love is an ocean
Forever victim of drought

‘Cause I’ve got this white noise
In my mind,...

chains

You’re chained in my thoughts
Each and every day
I say that I can be with you
Knowing that I’m lying
I feel like I will make it
Not confident in trying
But today I scrolled through my phone
Loving your pictures more than myself

You don’t even know me
Which I’m trying to accept
There’s so much more out there for you
Even if I try to intercept
Yeah, today I scrolled through my phone
'Cause, how could I ever love someone else?

And I know you’re too good for me but I can’t help but lie
I wish things were different, you’re my pleasurable pains
I feel like I’ve needed you in order to find me
I’ve tried to move on but I’ve wrapped my heart ‘round in your chains

And all my friends are sick of it
I kinda wish I had their point of view
'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do
Yeah,...

all hands on deck

All hands on deck
I said so, do it
You know I’m royal and act like it, act like it
You know I’m the baddest and I’m always right
You’re getting blind from my starlight
You don’t stand a chance with this attitude
You know I ain’t the one to play nice
Are you messing with a bad bitch?
Don’t try paying ‘cause you know I’m rich

And I know you think you're so cool
But just know that I ain’t a fool
You never stop wasting my time
I’ll never follow the guys
'Cause you know they’ll come running back
They know I stand on a stack
All hands on deck

You know I’m royal and act like it, act like it
Work until dismissed
I don’t stand that shit
You’ll get burned, won’t ignite it, ignite it
When I walk in, sit up straight
I don’t give a fuck if I was late
Think you’re a gentleman, please ...

spare your words

Spare your words, no need to say
Your toxic talk just fuels the rage
So, who are you to comfort me from the horrors you create?
Spare your words, no need to say
Just get up and walk away

So, who are you to comfort me from the horrors you create?
Is the pain worth the fight when the fighting ends the pain?
I tried to escape, and you drench my mind in rain
I thought I'd get better
But with you, I could never
But your words will be what consumes me
You make me think I’m paranoid
Yet, you have been making the noise
Shut your mouth, I’ve found my voice
But it’s me you’ll never know
Spare your words, no need to say
Your toxic talk just fuels the rage

So, who are you to comfort me from the horrors you create?
Spare your words, no need to say
Just get up and walk away
So, who...

swimming in the stars

Even though I’ve broken me
Would you stick around and see?
As if I’ve trapped your stars inside my nightly sky
I’ve moved through all the pain
Yet you’ve fallen upon my rain
And I know this isn't fair for you to see
If my friendships were bottled
Beware of broken glass
Just take my hands but I understand if you wanna turn back

These bright stars that I see in you
Take my dark and shine high and true
These bright stars lighting my way through
What I’d risk to shine with you
Shine with you
Shine like you

You’ve stole me from the dark
Where I feel I’ve taken our sparks
And not knowing you were happy tortured me
Yet you show me beyond the stars
When I feel I’m breaking you
I’m alone in so many ways
But you piece me back together slowly

Maybe I'm just a fool
Even when I’m pushing through
I’d go anywhere,...

false diamond

Thought you were the way
I thought I found a way to go
Since you’re gone, I cannot stay
You’re the only reason I could grow

I hope someday you’ll get me out of here
To get to you, I’d build a boat over all my tears
The one confides, but the shine isn’t clear
When we’re alive, we’re just full of fear
You’re the false diamond, broke my home
I am the house, crushed of heavy stone
Full of people, I’m alone
Take me, bring me home
Live and left to cry
Choking on illusion’s face
Am I so unkind?
Live on in a world of grace

I hope someday you’ll get me out of here
To get to you, I’d build a boat over all my tears
The one confides, but the shine isn’t clear
When we’re alive, we’re just full of fear
You’re the false diamond, broke my home
I am the house, crushed of heavy stone ...

cheryl blossom

From the luscious red hair
The gorgeous green eyes
Girl, you are perfect, can that be me?
The powers that glow, that flawless physique 
Your talents are bold
All win, no defeat
I live for your vibe
In ways words cannot describe
Should I?
Can I?

You’ve won me over in seconds, you’ve been living my dream
You’ve got the eye for trouble, yet you still reign supreme 
I wanna take what’s mine
And look so hot and awesome 
Like a royal bombshell
Cheryl Blossom

You’ve won me over in seconds, you’ve been living my dream
You’ve got the eye for trouble, yet you still reign supreme 
I wanna take what’s mine
And look so hot and awesome 
Like a royal bombshell
Cheryl Blossom

I would give myself to you, Madelaine or the bombshell
I envy you so endlessly, on me you never dwell
I'm just tryna to see it
Why can’t that be me?
My life has been a...