dream02

Canada

Animals > Humans
I may post a lot. Just because I'm bored and writing is my life.
Why does putting me down make you feel better?
If you should ever ask how many times you've crossed my mind, I'd say once. Cause you came into my mind and never left

Message from Writer

OMIGOSH y'all! 50 followers!?!?! Y'all are amazing! <3
Breathe. Believe. Dream. Be kind.
Never let anyone take your passion away.
Writing and poetry are my escapes from reality.
Follow, I'll (most likely) follow back.
Racism, homophobia, and other prejudice isn't needed!
take that you dancing by Jason derulo, Smaller Than This by Sara Kays, and Not Ready For Love by Kim Caputo are my current songs on repeat in the mental asylum also known as my brain......

Your eyes, are my stars. Your smile, my sun. Your love, my purpose.

Forever a hopeless romantic......

My feet are on the ground but my head is high in the clouds....

"Loving you is a crime of which I shall never repent." - Sor Juana

Published Work

January Grab Bag

My vampire love.

I still remember your breathtaking face close to mine.
Your large hands on my waist, my own small ones on your face.
Your sharpedged cheekbone, underneath my fingers,
It was as soft as silk, but as hard as stone.
As we lay in the dewy grass, under the full moon.
The crickets chirped in harmony, the stars twinkled brightly.
Do you remember all the promises we made?
To stay together for eternity for one. 
 

January Grab Bag

My vampire love.

I still remember your face close to mine.
Your hands on my waist, my on your face.
Your cheekbone, underneath my fingers,
It was as soft as silk, but as hard as stone.
As we lay in the grass, under the moon.
The crickets chirped, the stars twinkled,

You've been warned.....

I walked into Starbucks and ordered my regular Saturday lunch order-Large mocha ice capp, and a muffin- as I walked over to the countertop seating, I saw him. Black slouchy toque, gray and black skull candy headphones, dark gray hoodie, skinny khaki pants, black converse sneakers and a soulful expression. He was, in a word, attractive. Extremely attractive. He looked up and met my eyes, his expression unchanging. I smiled a bit and looked away. I started to sit down, when a deep voice said “You can't trust me, you know. Just a warning.” I looked up, startled. “What?” I asked incredulously. He stared back, unsmiling “You. Can't. Trust. Me" he said speaking slow, as if talking to a child or mentally incompetent person. I smiled albeit a bit nervously “Who said I was going to?” “Well, just by sitting across from me, you show a bit of trust. Would you sit across from a mentally ill person with a...

While I was gone...

While I was gone, 
I got worse mentally.
I met someone, and lost them too.
I'm currently in a sling haha. 

But, while I was gone, 
I've learned it's okay to hurt.
That I'm not worthless alone.
And sometimes it's okay to slow down.

Down. SLIGHT TRIGGER WARNING

Darkness is back,
Pain inside is too.

No matter how much blood leaves, 
The pain is everlasting.

I feel like there's only one way out,
I'll end up in the ground though.

It's looking better and better,
Like it's the only option..

I'm falling....
                ......down
                          ........down

If I told you how I feel, would you help me?
If I came clean, would you hold me?
If I cried, would you dry my tears and kiss me?
 

Oh. My. Gosh. To my 50 followers!!

For every like. Thank you.
For every comment. Thank you.
For every follow. Thank you.
Less than a year ago,
When I viewed my writing,
I thought "Why do you bother."
"Your writing will never be great."
Every follow, brings a smile.
Every like, the same.
Every comment, a smile again.
So thank you. For helping me believe.
For helping me keep going. 
Keep writing.
Love y'all!!

Pain.

I lay on the floor, limbs sprawled.
Wishing the pain would stop.
When you said I shouldn't trust you,
I never imagine this would happen.
Why would you do this to me?
I helped you when you needed it.
I let you cry on my shoulder.
You always said you weren't perfect.
I never imagined you hurt me like this...

Novel Writing Competition 2020

Faith. Hope. Tragedy. Draft Four! REVIEW FOR REVIEW

One day, in Ms. Ian's sixth grade class, they had a new student. At first, the students were surprised. After all, it was the middle of the semester. But then their surprise turned to curiosity and, excitement. The new girl, Amelia, was coming all the way from Scotland! So their excitement grew and grew, until they could hardly stand still, wait for Amelia to arrive. When she first walked in, almost hidden behind the principal, the kids began to whisper. But when the principal moved aside and they caught their first glimpse of the new girl from a strange, far away country, the whispers stopped abruptly. Amelia was wearing layers and layers of clothing! They covered every inch of her body, including, her hands and the hoods of several oversized bunnyhugs obscured her face almost completely. All that was visible was a bit of her mouth and the tip of her nose. The teacher looked at her and a look...

Novel Writing Competition 2020

Faith. Hope. Tragedy. Draft Four! REVIEW FOR REVIEW

One day, in Ms. Ian's sixth grade class, they had a new student. At first, the students were surprised. After all, it was the middle of the semester. But then their surprise turned to curiosity and, excitement. The new girl, Amelia, was coming all the way from Scotland! So their excitement grew and grew, until they could hardly stand still, wait for Amelia to arrive. When she first walked in, almost hidden behind the principal, the kids began to whisper. But when the principal moved aside and they caught their first glimpse of the new girl from a strange, far away country, the whispers stopped abruptly. Amelia was wearing layers and layers of clothing! They covered every inch of her body, including, her hands and the hoods of several oversized bunnyhugs obscured her face almost completely. All that was visible was a bit of her mouth and the tip of her nose. The teacher looked at her and a look...

Isn't it odd? Prompt from Cosmogyral

Isn't it odd how we let other change our opinions?
How we let other voices be louder than our own?
How we believe whatever we are told when we are young?
How the second we form opinions of our own, we're disrespectful?
Isn't it odd how often we just guess who someone is?
How we get so mad when other do the same to us?
How often we believe we aren't good enough?
How much life can change, in an instant?

I want to...2nd draft!

I want to sing. Sing until there's no words left in my mind.
I want to dance. Dance until there's no pain left in my heart.
I want to dream. Dream until there's no longing left in my soul.
I want to love. Love until there's no issue we haven't resolved.
I want to live. Live until my body can't take it anymore.
I want to laugh. Laugh until there's no air left in my lungs.
I want to run. Run until there's no strength left in my muscles.

I want to...2nd draft!

I want to sing. Sing until there's no words left in my mind.
I want to dance. Dance until there's no pain left in my heart.
I want to dream. Dream until there's no longing left in my soul.
I want to love. Love until there's no issue we haven't resolved.
I want to live. Live until my body can't take that it anymore.

Novel Writing Competition 2020

Faith. Hope. Tragedy. Draft Four! REVIEW FOR REVIEW

One day, in Ms. Ian's sixth grade class, they had a new student. At first, the students were surprised. After all, it was the middle of the semester. But then their surprise turned to curiosity and, excitement. The new girl, Amelia, was coming all the way from Scotland! So their excitement grew and grew, until they could hardly stand still, wait for Amelia to arrive. When she first walked in, almost hidden behind the principal, the kids began to whisper. But when the principal moved aside and they caught their first glimpse of the new girl from a strange, far away country, the whispers stopped abruptly. Amelia was wearing layers and layers of clothing! They covered every inch of her body, including, her hands and the hoods of several oversized bunnyhugs obscured her face almost completely. All that was visible was a bit of her mouth and the tip of her nose. The teacher looked at her and a look...

Bittersweet snowfall thoughts.

The snow falling softly down.
The late evening sun glinting off it.
Us inside, playing board games.
I look out the window,
And start to remember how we'd
Play outside, having snowball fights.
The sense of longing hits me hard.
I miss those simpler days.
Before the boy problems,
And self discoveries made things different.
I'm not saying I wish I didn't realize things.
I just wish nothing had changed.
That we were still young.
That we were still innocent.
Sometimes I wish we could go back.
Back to when we were so naive.
When we believed all was good.
When heartbreak seemed so strange.
Now the future seems so unstable.
Now we know how quickly thing can end.
Today we no longer believe in fairies.
Now we know how painful life can be.
How it can leave you depressed.
How it can ruin your plans.
Your voice breaks into my bittersweet thoughts.
"Let's go play outside" you say.
I...

Novel Writing Competition 2020

Faith. Hope. Tragedy. Draft Four! REVIEW FOR REVIEW

One day, in Ms. Ian's sixth grade class, they had a new student. At first, the students were surprised. After all, it was the middle of the semester. But then their surprise turned to curiosity and, excitement. The new girl, Amelia, was coming all the way from Scotland! So their excitement grew and grew, until they could hardly stand still, wait for Amelia to arrive. When she first walked in, almost hidden behind the principal, the kids began to whisper. But when the principal moved aside and they caught their first glimpse of the new girl from a strange, far away country, the whispers stopped abruptly. Amelia was wearing layers and layers of clothing! They covered every inch of her body, including, her hands and the hoods of several oversized bunnyhugs obscured her face almost completely. All that was visible was a bit of her mouth and the tip of her nose. The teacher looked at her and a look...

Novel Writing Competition 2020

Faith. Hope. Tragedy. Draft Four! REVIEW FOR REVIEW

One day, in Ms. Ian's sixth grade class, they had a new student. At first, the students were surprised. After all, it was the middle of the semester. But then their surprise turned to curiosity and, excitement. The new girl, Amelia, was coming all the way from Scotland! So their excitement grew and grew, until they could hardly stand still, wait for Amelia to arrive. When she first walked in, almost hidden behind the principal, the kids began to whisper. But when the principal moved aside and they caught their first glimpse of the new girl from a strange, far away country, the whispers stopped abruptly. Amelia was wearing layers and layers of clothing! They covered every inch of her body, including, her hands and the hoods of several oversized bunnyhugs obscured her face almost completely. All that was visible was a bit of her mouth and the tip of her nose. The teacher looked at her and a look...

Novel Writing Competition 2020

Faith. Hope. Tragedy. Draft Four! REVIEW FOR REVIEW

One day, in Ms. Ian's sixth grade class, they had a new student. At first, the students were surprised. After all, it was the middle of the semester. But then their surprise turned to curiosity and, excitement. The new girl, Amelia, was coming all the way from Scotland! So their excitement grew and grew, until they could hardly stand still, wait for Amelia to arrive. When she first walked in, almost hidden behind the principal, the kids began to whisper. But when the principal moved aside and they caught their first glimpse of the new girl from a strange, far away country, the whispers stopped abruptly. Amelia was wearing layers and layers of clothing! They covered every inch of her body, including, her hands and the hoods of several oversized bunnyhugs obscured her face almost completely. All that was visible was a bit of her mouth and the tip of her nose. The teacher looked at her and a look...

Novel Writing Competition 2020

Faith. Hope. Tragedy. Draft Four! REVIEW FOR REVIEW

One day, in Ms. Ian's sixth grade class, they had a new student. At first, the students were surprised. After all, it was the middle of the semester. But then their surprise turned to curiosity and, excitement. The new girl, Amelia, was coming all the way from Scotland! So their excitement grew and grew, until they could hardly stand still, wait for Amelia to arrive. When she first walked in, almost hidden behind the principal, the kids began to whisper. But when the principal moved aside and they caught their first glimpse of the new girl from a strange, far away country, the whispers stopped abruptly. Amelia was wearing layers and layers of clothing! They covered every inch of her body, including, her hands and the hoods of several oversized goodies obscured her face almost completely. 

You just lost the game.

PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE HERE KNOWS WHAT "THE GAME" IS.
LIKE THE ONE WHERE YOU CANT THINK ABOUT THE GAME OR YOU LOSE THE GAME.  
It was so much of my childhood.

Rant.

They say fathers always love their daughters.
They say they always will protect them.
Why. Why do so many believe this.
Why do so many get this.
Why am I sitting here in tears,
wishing I could say the same.
Why have you acted this way.
You've hurt me so much.
Making me feel like since I'm not one of your sons,
I'll never be enough. Maybe you didn't mean to.
Or maybe you did. I don't know.
All I know is, I'm your daughter.
And I'm worth loving. I'm worth knowing.
I'm worthy of everything and anything. 
I, am enough. More than enough.

Alone.

Pain inside. Pain bleeding out. 
Heartache. Headache. Open cuts.
Darkness all around. Even in broad daylight.
The darkness won't leave. No matter what I do.
The pain won't lessen. It hurts more in fact.
I avoid the mirror. Not wanting to see how I look.
I know it won't be as pretty as her.
So why should I even care.
I'm not sure why I try anymore.
The pain is always there.
A constant reminder of what I am.
Ugly. An outcast. Unneeded. Alone.

November Grab Bag

Watching. Draft one

Write a poem that includes the word "watch" three times.

They sit there. And watch me.
They'll never accept me.
I sit there. And watch them.
They'll never break me.
We sit there. And watch each other.

Down. SLIGHT TRIGGER WARNING

Darkness is back,
Pain inside is too.

No matter how much blood leaves, 
The pain is everlasting.

I feel like there's only one way out,
I'll end up in the ground though.

It's looking better and better,
Like it's the only option..

I'm falling....
                ......down
                          ........down

That special one...

They'll be the one who holds me when I'm crying.
They'll be the one who can laugh at my jokes.
They'll be the one who can love me, not despite, but because my flaws.
They'll be the one who look at me first thing in the morning, and see the one they love.
They'll be the one who tells me I'm crazy, but that they love me for it.
They may be a guy, girl, or non-gender-conforming.
But I know, i just know, they love me forever.
I know that one day, all this heart break will be healed.
I know that they will heal me. Never hurt me. <3

That Fateful Time. 2nd draft!!

Caleb broke off suddenly and blushed a deep red, his freckles almost disappearing. "I'm babbling again aren't I?" He asked shyly. I smiled "A little. But it's fine. I do that a lot sometimes too." He looked skeptical "Really? I've never witnessed you babbling." I shrugged "I don't know. Maybe it's all in my head." I sighed and shook my head bitterly, thinking of all those times I thought he felt the same but then friendzoned me. "Lately it seems like a lot of things are all in my head." "Oh? Like what?" "Like," I hesitated then surged ahead and met his eyes "Sometimes, when I like a guy, I'll start thinking that maybe, he likes me back.  But then certain things happen, and I start wondering if it's all in my head." His quizzical expression changed to one of kindness and, was that, hope? "Well I can tell you one thing that definitely  isn't all in your head." He...

YOU in threes

Me! Just in case you care. Probs don't though lol.

Three quirks or idiosyncrasies.
1. I laugh way too hard at dark jokes.
2. When I fall for someone, I fall VERY hard.
3. I never tell people when they've hurt me, I just keep it inside
Three adjectives your peers would use to describe you.
1. Weird.
2. Enthusiastic 
3. Passionate
Three adjectives your family would use.
1. Annoying. (Jokingly)
2. Loving.
3. Crazy.
Three adjectives you would use.
1. Strange.
2. Ugly.
3. Hardcore.
Three things about you that very few people know.
1. I want to go sky diving.
2. Whenever I text people first, I feel like I'm bothering them.
3. I hide my insecurities with jokes.

That Fateful Time. 2nd draft!!

Caleb broke off suddenly and blushed a deep red, his freckles almost disappearing. "I'm babbling again aren't I?" He asked shyly. I smiled "A little. But it's fine. I do that a lot sometimes too." He looked skeptical "Really? I've never witnessed you babbling." I shrugged "I don't know. Maybe it's all in my head." I sighed and shook my head bitterly, thinking of all those times I thought he felt the same but then friendzoned me. "Lately it seems like a lot of things are all in my head." "Oh? Like what?" "Like," I hesitated then surged ahead and met his eyes "Sometimes, when I like a guy, I'll start thinking that maybe, he likes me back.  But then certain things happen, and I start wondering if it's all in my head." His quizzical expression changed to one of kindness and, was that, hope? "Well I can tell you one thing that definitely  isn't all in your head." He...

But you didn't.

I knew you didn't feel the same.
But I just couldn't get you off my mind.
And I didn't mean to make things awkward.
But I just really wanted to tell you.
And get this all off my chest.
So I did. You didn't feel the same.
It hurt. But it also felt, freeing.
Like now, you truly knew all of me.
It's so weird to have someone know me.
All of me. And not run from my dark past.
But you listened. And shared your own past.
I hope I didn't wreck what we had.
-whatever it would be called.
But I just really wanted to tell you.
And get this all off my chest.
So I did. You didn't feel the same.
It hurt. But it also felt, freeing.
Knowing that I could truly tell you anything.
And you'd just take it in stride.
I kinda wish you hadn't just acted normal.
Not as fast. I wish it'd...

Even your storms are beautiful.

Your curly hair. Your wry smile. Your deep brown eyes. 
Why can't you see how I feel about you.
Why can't you see you deserve better than her.
Your eyes, are my stars. Your smile, is my sun.
And your love, is my purpose. It's all I need.
I think of you and my heart starts racing.
You randomly text me and I start blushing.
You tell me she's all that you love and I start to cry.
You say that you can't get over her.
But I can't get over you. Not that I'm not trying.
You say that I deserve better than him.
But it's you that I want, I don't think it was ever him.
 

Even your storms are beautiful.

Your curly hair. Your wry smile. Your deep brown eyes. 
Why can't you see how I feel about you.
Why can't you see you deserve better than her.
Your eyes, are my stars. Your smile, is my sun.
And your love, is my purpose. It's all I need.
 

I'm A Human Too

Everyday this question is asked,
Why can no one see the real me?
All they see is. braces, glasses, or acne.
But I'm still just like you.
I'm a human too.
I might have thunder thighs, or a cereal bowl stomach,
And my name could be Maddy, Kim, or Rick.
But I'm still just like you.
I'm a human too.
I have dreams, hopes, and fears.
But still what reaches my ears,
Are cruel remarks and rude names.
I'm so sick of these games.
Don't you know I'm just like you?
I'm a human too.
No matter what gender, race, height, or weight,
It doesn't matter if I'm always late,
No matter how I walk,
No matter how I walk,
I'm still just like you.
I'm a human too.
I may have mental, or physical problems.
Maybe if I listed them, they'd fill up columns.
But please don't dis my ability.
Maybe I don't have agility, 
But I'm still just...

Feelings with song titles....

"What if (I told you I like you)"
I really want to.
I'm so "Nervous"
Maybe I'm just "Bad at love".
Or maybe I'm "Not ready for love."?
I wish I could be "Someone You Loved".
 

So this happened.

It was hard to believe how hard I fell.
But I think I understand it all now.
I had feelings for another.
I felt they were a forbidden love.
So I projected the feelings onto you 
And pretended it was you I fell for.
I tricked myself. Hoping to avoid the pain.
But it come anyway, from the both of you.
From him, in the form of him crushing on a girl.
A girl, that isn't me. It hurts a lot.
And from you, in the form of rejection.
But I got over you quickly. Too quickly.
How I get butterflies when he texts me.
More butterflies than you ever gave me.

That Sort of Person

The characters of Souls Freed.

Caleb is the sweet guy who you'll fall in love with. <3
Megan is the gorgeous girl who doesn't see her own beauty and is forever underestimating herself.
John is the hot but jerky guy who believes the world owes him something.
Callie is the popular mean girl who lives for drama and others pain.
Annabelle is the popular girl who isn't at all what others think.
Fern is the caring adopted girl who loves the world and, her best female friend (Secretly.).
 

Calebs song

I'm lost in you, so lost in you,  yeah I'm lost inside your eyes.
I fell for you oh fell for you, yeah I fell so deep in love.
I don't want a fake love, filled with tears and yeah I'll try's
I just want to hold you, want to give you all my love. 
You mean so much to me, yeah you mean the world to me.
All I have to do is see you and my day is better.
You're the one for me, for the only one for me
Let me try and make it better.

Prompts

1. The little girl runs away from home.
2. Defining moments (yours and/or your characters)
3. Someone who's dreams come true. Like literally if they dream it, it happens.

The seasons of love.

All the seasons remind me of us
For Winter, there's how the sun comes out and brightens the snow.
Like how you came into my life and brightened it unknowingly.
How some find it inconvenient but others see the beauty in it.
For Spring, there's the feeling of hope and new life.
Like how you brought a meaning to life for me.
How everything looks changed. Renewed. And beautiful.
For Summer, it's how the sunwarmed asphalt feels.
It's rough and warm, like your hand in mine
How even the storms are beautiful. Just like yours.
For autumn, there's how it's easy to see the beauty in everything
Like how you helped me see my own beauty.
How everything preparing for the future. Like we were.
But now, we're over. You left. We always said we'd get out.
But you got out without me. You've found your place.
With her by your side. But, I can think about you without feeling...

What's the first memory that comes to mind with each word?

Alone
Three of us sitting out. Me, the mean blonde girl, and her brunette best friend. "She can't throw a ball to save her life." "Yeah that's why coach took her out and put May on the mound instead." I felt the tears burning in the back of my eyes. First off there was the humiliation of being taken off the field -even though it was because of a hand injury. And now, i have to deal with them and their constant belittling. I blinked back the tears and repositioned the ice pack on my hand, cheering on my teammates. Even in this crowded ball park, I still feel alone.

Pain.
I laughed and shifted my weight as I walked, then found myself on the ground, my knee in immense pain. Tears streaming down my face, I put my hand to my knee, and felt something jetting out. Later i learned this was my kneecap, that had dislocated.
 

How do i get over rejection

How. How can you change your mind so fast. How can you move on so quickly.
I said I'd rather a definite answer instead of mixed signals, but can I take that back?
Can I go back to before? When we would laugh and joke about whatever.
When we'd say flirty things and not catch feelings.......

It's not your fault.

If they reject you, it's not your fault. It'll hurt a lot, but it's all on them. If they hurt you, it's not your fault. No matter what they say, it's not your fault. You are amazing. You are beautiful, inside and out. You are loved. You are strong. Strong enough to get past this. Believe, and you will be okay.

Our (former) love story. Part 2

Quiet late night talks,
Trying to not wake your parents up,
And sweet slow kisses,
Tasting of ice cream and chipotle.
Inside jokes funny only to us,
Like the one about the swings at our park.
And gazing into each other's eyes,
Content just to see the other smile
Have abruptly turned into,
Accusing, blaming, fighting and leaving.
Screaming, crying, and angry conversations.
What happened to supporting each other?
What happened to you'll "always" love me.
What was once our perfect love story, 
Is off the shelves, and no longer in print.
But im still glad for our time together.
I still miss your kisses.
You were my first love, 
You were my first heartbreak.

Glad we're young. <3

You say it's wrong.
We say it's not.
You say it's sin.
We say it's love.
You say we're still young.
We say we're glad.
For if being adults involve,
Crushing others dreams,
Hating others for being different.
And putting others down,
Then, we're glad we're still young.

LGBTQ+ are people too.

When you hold a tiny, helpless baby in your arms, don't you want them to be able to grow up in an accepting society? Maybe it's your baby sister or brother. Your niece or nephew. Maybe your cousin or a family friends baby. Or maybe, it's yours. Don't you want to be able to look in those little eyes and be able to know that they're growing up in a world where they be anything or anyone that they want to? And be accepted? 
Why is it, you put people down for liking the same gender? Are you going to deny that you've never found yourself mostly attracted to a certain kind of person? And, why do you put people down for generally believing that they were born the wrong gender? Them changing it is no different than you changing your hair colour or wearing makeup. It is all their choices and their beliefs. If they aren't putting you down...

LGBTQ+ are people too.

Why is it, you put people down for liking the same gender? Are you going to deny that you've never found yourself mostly attracted to a certain kind of person? And, why do you put people down for generally believing that they were born the wrong gender? Them changing it is no different than you changing your hair colour or wearing makeup. It is all their choices and their beliefs. If they aren't putting you down for yours, why are you putting them down for theirs..?

People Power!

Vote. To change our world and make it better.

How often do you say that this world is wrong. By not voting, you are passing up your chance to make a difference. Vote to change the world. To save the little kids.
















Just stop complaining and vote man.

People Power!

Vote. To change our world and make it better.

How often do you say that this world is wrong. By not voting, you are passing up your chance to make a difference. Vote to change the world. To save the little kids.

The seasons of love.

All the seasons remind me of us
For Winter, there's how the sun comes out and brightens the snow.
Like how you came into my life and brightened it unknowingly.
How some find it inconvenient but others see the beauty in it.
For Spring, there's the feeling of hope and new life.
Like how you brought a meaning to life for me.
How everything looks changed. Renewed. And beautiful.
For Summer, it's how the sunwarmed asphalt feels.
It's rough and warm, like your hand in mine
How even the storms are beautiful. Just like yours.
For autumn, there's how it's easy to see the beauty in everything
Like how you helped me see my own beauty.
How everything preparing for the future. Like we were.
But now, we're over. You left. We always said we'd get out.
But you got out without me. You've found your place.
With her by your side. But, I can think about you without feeling...

We Miss You, Sport!

The wind in my face, the cheers in my ears.

Every spring, for as long as I can remember, softball. Softball has always been a big part of my life. When I was younger, it was just more fun, then as I got older, it became my outlet. I would never crack under pressure, but rather, perform better. I learn to pitch when I was about 6 or 7. Pitching became my favourite position. Even the year when I had a coach who told me she didn't like me, simply because I was homeschooled, and she rarely let me pitch, it was still the best part of my year. I never realized how important it was to me until, all of a sudden, it was ripped away from me, leaving a gaping hole that was unfillable. 

Fears

That I'm not enough.
That when I text or call people, I'm bothering them.
That I won't turn out okay.
That I'm truly alone
That i won't follow my dreams.
That my friends are actually fake. 
That I'll never be heard.
That this pain will never go away.

The Butterflies came back.

It's hard to believe, never mind remember, that I said I was getting over you.
That I told my friends you were in the friend zone, and staying there.
Then, the very next day, I saw you again. And everything changed.
You were wearing a bunnyhug. Your hair was messy
-like you'd been running your fingers through it.
I made a stupid joke, you laughed too hard.
Then you smiled, and the edge of your blue eyes crinkled.
Your dimples popped out. I fell for you all over again.
That's why it's hard to believe, never mind remember, that I said I was getting over you.
That I told my friends you were in the friend zone, and staying there.

 

YOU, The Writer

My soul runs free.

For romance. 
I start dreaming. Dreaming of love. Dreaming of you holding my hand. 

For inspirational poems.
I start thinking. Thinking of what I want to hear. Thinking of our unjust society, that sweeps so much under the rug.

For tearfilled drama.
I start crying. Crying for all the lives lost for no reason. Crying for may have been, what never will be.

For healing pieces.
I start talking. Talking to others. Talking to myself. Talking about what hurts.

And then.
I let my soul take over. I let my mind wander. I let my spirit run free. Because just for once, just for now, I'm in my happy place. Nothing can hurt me. No one can bother me.

Speechwriting Competition 2020

Human life is ever evolving. Why isn't our kindness.

People are just like flowers. Wait, let me explain. You never know how much your comments really  hurt a person. Even just the snide little ones. They add up. Think of this way. They start with a bouquet of flowers. The size depends on their confidence. Every snide remarks or comment takes away a petal. When the flower has no petals left, it dies. Then, when they have no flowers left, that's when they reach the point where whenever they look in the mirror and hear all the voices. Say things like "You'll never be good enough." "You'll never be pretty enough." "You'll never be skinny enough." "You'll never be enough." But, it doesn't work the same with kind words. Just because one person says they're pretty, doesn't mean it brings back a petal. Because, flowers take time to grow, and wounds take time to mend.

From early on, I was never "normal". I would rather play sports than talk about...

Why I Write

I write for peace instead of the constant war inside of me.

To me, poetry is freedom. It's life.
It's like that first breath of air after feeling like you're drowning.
It's so much easier for me to write down my feelings into stanzas and send it to someone,
Than it is to just say how I feel. When something's bugging me, exasperating me, or hurting me,
I can write how I feel. That's the only time I can truly express how I feel, without judgement.
Poetry is everything to me. It's always there. Even when no one or nothing else is.
When I feel like I have to keep everything inside, poetry is my escape.
It's my savior. My "knight in shining armor".

Why I Write

I write for peace instead of the constant war inside of me.

To me, poetry is freedom. It's life. It's like that first breath of air after feeling like you're drowning. It's so much easier for me to write down my feelings into stanzas and send it to someone, than it is to just say how I feel. When something's bugging me, exasperating me, or hurting me, I can write how I feel. That's the only time I can truly express how I feel, without judgement. Poetry is everything to me. It's always there. Even when no one or nothing else is. When I feel like I have to keep everything inside, poetry is my escape. It's my savior. My knight in shining armor.

Heart Places

Childhood.

I miss the place  of childish happiness. Of naivety. The place where I could go and be happy. Where my dreams came true. Before reality ruined my life. Before the dark thoughts came. Before the constant pain hit. Back when I truly believe all was good in some way. Before I saw how cruel society can be. Remember when we would meet someone new and call them our friend?
I miss the place of childhood memories.

Speechwriting Competition 2020

Human life is ever evolving. Why isn't our kindness.

People are just like flowers. Wait, let me explain. You never know how much your comments really  hurt a person. Even just the snide little ones. They add up. Think of this way. They start with a bouquet of flowers. The size depends on their confidence. Every snide remarks or comment takes away a petal. When the flower has no petals left, it dies. Then, when they have no flowers left, that's when they reach the point where whenever they look in the mirror and hear all the voices. Say things like "You'll never be good enough." "You'll never be pretty enough." "You'll never be skinny enough." "You'll never be enough." But, it doesn't work the same with kind words. Just because one person says they're pretty, doesn't mean it brings back a petal. Because, flowers take time to grow, and wounds take time to mend.

From early on, I was never "normal". I would rather play sports than talk about...

Our (former) love story.

Quiet late night talks,
And sweet slow kisses.
Inside jokes funny only to us,
And gazing into each other's eyes.
Have abruptly turned into,
Accusing, blaming, fighting and leaving.
Screaming, crying, and angry conversations.
What was once our perfect love story, 
Is off the shelves, and no longer in print.
But im still glad for our time together.
I still miss your kisses.
You were my first love, 
You were my first heartbreak.

All Talk

"Wait."

"Hey. Can we talk?"
"Fine."
"You've been ignoring me. And don't just claim that you haven't been receiving my texts. Your read receipts are on. Im not stupid."
"I've just been busy."
"I miss talking to you, I miss talking about boys, and laughing."
"Okay."
"I feel like you don't even care."
"Probably because I'm sick of pretending to."
"What?"
"I just felt pity for you because you're so dorky."
"I-"
"And because you don't have friends."
"I do. I just thought we were friends."
"Sorry I have to go now. I'm hanging out with my friends."
"Addie, wait."

Cli-Fi

Doomsday

Hi, I'm Cass. Two months ago, the world started ending. Global warming got worse. Volcanoes started popping out of nowhere. In the middle of PARIS. I had tired to tell people it was going to happen. No one believed me. Now, we're all trying to find food. The government is withholding almost all of it.

"Cass, we have to keep going. You know that." I spun on Miguel, "Why though? So we can get turned down, yet again, in our search for food? I'm sick of this. I knew this would happen. I tried to tell people. And what happened? I got called 'Crazy.' And 'Psycho Doomsayer.' I'm done, Miguel. I'm just done." He looked at me, his eyes filling with tears "You may be crazy. But I'm crazy in love with you. Please, if you can't keep going for you, keep going for me. I'll die if I lose you." I stopped. What could I say to that? "Fine."...

"For A Girl."

So since you say,
I throw hard, for a girl.
I run fast, for a girl.
I'm funny, for a girl.
Why don't you say, 
I cook well, for a girl.
I'm good with kids, for a girl.
I clean well, for a girl.
You say I'm too loud, for a girl.
But, I'm loud for ANYONE.
You say I'm strong, for a girl.
But there's a reason that girls have the babies.
Don't blame me, 
If the next time you say, 
"For a girl",
It's preceded by, 
"You punch hard."
And please don't tell me, 
That fighting is "unbecoming", 
For a women. Because, 
Sexism is unbecoming, 
For a human.

For a girl

You say
I throw hard. For a girl.
I run fast. For a girl.
I'm funny. For a girl.
So, why don't you say,
I cook well. For a girl.
I'm good with kids. For a girl.
I clean well. For a girl.

Dear little baby girl

As I hold you in my arms,
You're peacefully asleep.
Your little eyes are closed,
Perfect fingers curled around my ring finger.
You are so sweet and little,
A living miracle really.
I hope nobody ever breaks your heart.
And always remember, 
If ever they do, I'll help you fix it again.

Cli-Fi

Doomsday

"Cass, we have to keep going. You know that." I spun on Miguel, "Why though? So we can get turned down, yet again, in our search for food? I'm sick of this. I knew this would happen. I tried to tell people. And what happened? I got called 'Crazy.' And 'Psycho Doomsayer.' I'm done, Miguel. I'm just done." He looked at me, his eyes filling with tears "You may be crazy. But I'm crazy in love with you. Please, if you can't keep going for you, keep going for me. I'll die if I lose you." I stopped. What could I say to that? "Fine." I said, my voice low. "I love you, so much, you annoying idiot." He laughed. "I'm an annoying idiot, yet you still love me. But I  love you too." As we continued across the barren wastelands that were once prairies, I felt his eyes on me. I glanced at him "What?" "You're cute when you're...

A letter to my younger self.

Hey there girl.

Don't worry so much. Things will turn out okay. Yes, you lose many friends. Yes, Mom and Dad split up. But, none of that is your fault. No friends are better than fake friends. And the fights stop. You'll learn a lot about yourself. I wish I could say that the hurting stops. It doesn't. But it makes you stronger. Yes, you'll make new friends. Yes, you will be okay. Yes, you will find an outlet for the pain.  Yes, you will develop crushes. Yes, you may get your heart broken. But just quit always putting yourself down. Start loving yourself. And stop believing you're bad at everything. You aren't. 

Speechwriting Competition 2020

Human life is ever evolving. Why isn't our kindness.

Bullying is one of the top reasons for depression. Stand up. Make a difference. Save lives.
Have you ever looked around and wondered, "Why is everyone so fake? Why do we all wear masks to hide our true feelings, even around those close to us?"
Why is it, that unless they become the person you want them to be, you mock them. You act as though they're an atrocity to society. Just because, they're different. What if, instead, we let people show their creative side. Let them be themselves. And applaud them. And, appreciate them.
Why do we see so much harshness, and turn a blind eye? Why is it, when someone is hurting, no one even cares anymore? All so many people care about is how they look to others. Whether or not they're pretty enough. Or cool enough. But what happened to caring about whether or not you are kindenough. Shouldn't that be what we care...

Speechwriting Competition 2020

Human life is ever evolving. Why isn't our kindness.

Bullying is one of the top reasons for depression. Stand up. Make a difference. Save lives.
Have you ever looked around and wondered, "Why is everyone so fake? Why do we all wear masks to hide our true feelings, even around those close to us?"
Why is it, that unless they become the person you want them to be, you mock them. You act as though they're an atrocity to society. Just because, they're different. What if, instead, we let people show their creative side. Let them be themselves. And applaud them. And, appreciate them.
Why do we see so much harshness, and turn a blind eye? Why is it, when someone is hurting, no one even cares anymore? All so many people care about is how they look to others. Whether or not they're pretty enough. Or cool enough. But what happened to caring about whether or not you are kindenough. Shouldn't that be what we care...

Not sure what to call this. Any suggestions lol.

In the dark, with tear-wet cheeks,
I wished I could pull my broken heart,
Out of my chest, and throw it away.
Just so I can stop feeling this pain.
So I can stop loving you, while crying.
I fell so hard. And hit the ground harder.
You led me on. You hurt me deep.
Now you're leaning in to kiss her, 
While I watch with endless misery.

Speechwriting Competition 2020

Human life is ever evolving. Why isn't our kindness.

Bullying is one of the top reasons for depression. Stand up. Make a difference. Save lives.
Have you ever looked around and wondered, "Why is everyone so fake? Why do we all wear masks to hide our true feelings, even around those close to us?"
Why is it, that unless they become the person you want them to be, you mock them. You act as though they're an atrocity to society. Just because, they're different. What if, instead, we let people show their creative side. Let them be themselves. And applaud them. And, appreciate them.
Why do we see so much harshness, and turn a blind eye. Why is it, when someone is hurting, no one even cares anymore. All so many people care about is how they look to others. Whether or not they're pretty enough. Or cool enough. But what happened to caring about whether or not you are kindenough. Shouldn't that be what we care...

In my mind/in reality

We're not even friends.
But in my mind, we're so much more.
In my mind, you text me good night.
In reality, we never even talk.
In my mind, we slow dance all night. 
In reality, I watch you flirt with other girls.
In my mind, you hold my hand and smile.
In reality, you're always talking to her.
In my mind, your blue eyes stare into mine
In reality, you'd rather look at her.
In my mind, you say I'm your girl.
In reality, you don't even know my name.
I guess, that's just what happens,
When you fall for a fictional person.

Speechwriting Competition 2020

Human life is ever evolving. Why isn't our kindness.

Bullying is one of the top reasons for depression. Stand up. Make a difference. Save lives.
Have you ever looked around and wondered, "Why is everyone so fake? Why do we all wear masks to hide our true feelings, even around those close to us?"
Why do we see so much harshness, and turn a blind eye. Why is it, when someone is hurting, no one even cares anymore. All so many people care about is how they look to others. Whether or not they're pretty enough. Or cool enough. But what happened to caring about whether or not you are kind enough. Shouldn't that be what we care about? Not the number of likes on our newest Insta post or Tiktok video. Not the number of people who have a crush on you. But rather, the number of people who you are kind to.
We all have value. From the star of the high school varsity football team, to...

Speechwriting Competition 2020

Human life is ever evolving. Why isn't our kindness.

Bullying is one of the tops reason for depression. Stand up. Make a difference. Save lives.
Have you ever looked around and wondered, "Why is everyone so fake? Why do we all wear masks to hide our true feelings, even around those close to us?"
Why do we see so much harshness, and turn a blind eye. Why is it, when someone is hurting, no one even cares anymore. All so many people care about is how they look to others. Whether or not they're pretty enough. Or cool enough. But what happened to caring about whether or not you are kind enough. Shouldn't that be what we care about? Not the number of likes on our newest Insta post or Tiktok video. Not the number of people who have a crush on you. But rather, the number of people who you are kind to.
We all have value. From the star of the high school varsity football team, to...

Since I've met you.

Since I've met you, I see the world differently.
The empty sidewalks are an endless canvas for love.
The empty walls are aren't bare, they're beautiful.
The empty pages are the start of our love story.
Even the colours of the rainbow look different.
They look romantic. Like endless possibility.
They all remind me of you in some way.
Since I've met you, you've changed me so much.
I now believe in love, I don't think it's fake anymore.
I now believe in miracles. After all, look at you.
I believe the world is good. That I'll be okay one day.
You've changed me so much, unknowingly. 

Speechwriting Competition 2020

Human life is ever evolving. Why isn't our kindness.

Bullying is one of the tops reason for depression. Stand up. Make a difference. Save lives.
Have you ever looked around and wondered, "Why is everyone so fake? Why do we all wear masks to hide our true feelings, even around those close to us?"
Why do we see so much harshness, and turn a blind eye. Why is it, when someone is hurting, no one even cares anymore. All so many people care about is how they look to others. Whether or not they're pretty enough. Or cool enough. But what happened to caring about, whether or not you are kind enough. Shouldn't that be what we care about? Not the number of likes on our newest Insta post or Tiktok video. Not the number of people who have a crush on you. But rather, the number of people who you are kind to.
We are have value. From the star of the high school varsity football team, to...

Speechwriting Competition 2020

Human life is ever evolving. Why isn't our kindness.

Bullying is one of the tops reason for depression. Stand up. Make a difference. Save lives.
Have you ever looked around and wondered, "Why is everyone so fake? Why do we all wear masks to hide our true feelings, even around those close to us?"
Why do we see so much harshness, and turn a blind eye. Why is it, when someone is hurting, no one even cares anymore. All so many people care about is how they look to others. Whether or not they're pretty enough. Or cool enough. But what happened to caring about, whether or not you are kind enough. Shouldn't that be what we care about? Not the number of likes on our newest Insta post or Tiktok video. Not the number of people who have a crush on you. But rather, the number of people who you are kind to.
We are have value. From the star of the high school varsity football team, to...

BFF= Best Fake Friend.

You broke my trust, and cut me with a shard.
Pretending that you cared, must've been hard.
Didn't anyone ever tell you to be the real you?
To always be kind, and always be true?
I don't need to be who you want me to be.
I can be myself. And other accept me.
Even though you refused to.
Maybe, I wasn't enough for you.
And, what they say, was right with you.
That tough times make colours show true.
You knew almost everything about me,
And you said what you knew would hurt me.
Why?

I'm A Human Too

Everyday this question is asked,
Why can no one see the real me?
All they see is. braces, glasses, or acne.
But I'm still just like you.
I'm a human too.
I might have thunder thighs, or a cereal bowl stomach,
And my name could be Maddy, Kim, or Rick.
But I'm still just like you.
I'm a human too.
I have dreams, hopes, and fears.
But still what reaches my ears,
Are cruel remarks and rude names.
I'm so sick of these games.
Don't you know I'm just like you?
I'm a human too.
No matter what gender, race, height, or weight,
It doesn't matter if I'm always late,
No matter how I walk,
No matter how I walk,
I'm still just like you.
I'm a human too.
I may have mental, or physical problems.
Maybe if I listed them, they'd fill up columns.
But please don't dis my ability.
Maybe I don't have agility, 
But I'm still just...