Why am I alone while others have the warmth I crave?

Do I not deserve it?

Am I not good enough for it?

Or does no one want to share their warmth with me?

It's time to admit my sins...

I've done the Dance of Italy.

I'm not proud.

I can't promise it won't happen again,

But I feel it's time to come forward.

Momento Mori

Why do I try to do the things I don't enjoy?
How do i find myself again?
When will the blur in my heart become focused?
I pray and pray and pray but It just doesn't seem to want to leave.
Lately I feel so alone,
like an empty shell of who I was.
It's sad to think that I may not be able to live life happily without a hand to hold.
You know, someone I can call my...

They won’t stop
I thought I figured it out
I made them stop before
But now they’re back
God! I hate them
They spit poison in my head
Filling my head with things I know aren’t true 
But I can’t help but believe them

I wish I had that perfect family
The one where you and your sisters could scream so loud from pure joy
The one where your mother comes to tuck you in at night
The one where you had baked goods around the house
The one where you could do your dads makeup
The one where jokes were purely jokes and nothing else
I wish I had that perfect family
Where I don't have to take medicine 
Where I don't need...

My heart shattered to the sound of his ‘ohs’
His voice sang melancholy into my ears
I could picture him and is clothes
His blue hoodies and blue-green eyes brought me to tears
Oh how I wish to hold his hand
Or to just hold him with all my might
But I know i'm just too bland
And don’t have enough fight.