aiyanna

United States

Senior in Highschool
Native American & Hispanic
Sagittarius
Pianist/drummer
Artist
Music - rock/indie
Nature lover
Biology lover
INFJ-T
they/them

Message from Writer

"If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal- that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself." -Thoreau

Published Work

Natures Song

Have you seen the places of the Earth,
These places, that there are few of now?
Have you seen these places when they unearth,
Where the creatures of the deep land and sea, sow?

The sky does its celestial dance,
As the atmosphere curves and bends.
Have you been caught in the voice of Earth’s trance?
Her whispers lull us to sleep, to mend.

We may not know the words nature speaks at hand.
Like the floor of deep dark woods, that never sees a fervent sun.
Nature hums and tells us we don’t always need to see to understand,
As long as we live with it, what it must do, will be done. 
 

obstruction

She is cold,
But not like pinching frost and sharp-edged ice.
She is like ink-dark narrow trees stemming from the frozen earth, 
Piercing through scintillate plumes of snow into the hazy atmosphere.
Like a quick stroke of harsh black obstructing my vision,
But not sharp and violent like an obsidian blade.
She is a stroke of glossy oil paint, refusing to blend into her surroundings.
Her hair is like fine silk and her skin softly glows white and her eyes are gentle,
So lithe and gentle-
Yet, I feel threatened by her presence. 
For she knows I would dive into the deepest billowing waves of blue for her.
She knows I would. 
But the issue is,
I don’t know if she would. 
Her cold waves tease me at my steep cliffs edge-
If I leaped would I find her there waiting? 
Would I find her, awaiting, sitting fair upon a dark stone?
I seldom think so.

Shadows Haunt My Yellow Fields

The darkest shade haunts my yellow fields,
From a churning, boisterous cloud, 
growing swollen,
Charged with violet electricity, so sullen,
It wraps around me like a shroud.

I nestle myself into the ground,
There, I think I will find some warmth,
In mother’s womb,
In Earth’s cocoon,
I rest my fluttering eyes slowth.

The glittering, gold of dawn awakes me,
I wash myself up in the dew,
It’s all so dark,
No singing of the meadowlark,
I wish to find myself anew.

The wilderness moves with life, yet still--
I see my world like it’s a deathbed,
A nest of broken twigs and glass,
Never the soft green of grass,
It’s not comfortable, I tiptoe around, instead,

In hopes I will stumble beyond this dread,
To be able to firmly plant my feet,
To only momentarily feel secure,
How much more can I endure?
When there isn’t a single place in the world with a seat? 

Seat, a...

Like Waves, Like Mountains

In a dark whirl in my mind, I sat with myself.
She was a strong and tender-loving figure, who knew when to forget herself.
She had soft brown eyes, that looked down at me as she gently ran her fingers through my dark hair strewn across her lap, as my heavy head with cold empty eyes lied there. 

In a light voice, I questioned, "When will things get better? Will they ever?"

In a gentle voice, she replied, "Why yes, by the ways of nature they will." She pauses, "She must balance herself."

"But how?" I ponder deeper.

She smiles and with a gesture of her hand swinging forwards, I see a deep and roaring sea.
The waves are cold and heavy, rising and she told me what she could foresee...

"My dear, like waves, they grow and sometimes they grow so overwhelmingly big, but look..." 
A massive wave festers, towering, then collapses ahead of us into a whirl of...

Carrying Her Heart In Her Hand

There once was a girl, who carried her heart in her hand. Her hair was a silky black, and her skin was often blue. However noticeable these other features were, one couldn’t pass her by without noticing her face. Delicate, it was, but it grew to be tainted with pain, for she looked so solemn and her eyes so empty. She carefully cuffed her heart in her palms, or in one hand; in a pocket. She could feel it’s warm pulse against her icy skin, with every beat, she took it as a reminder of life, thus happiness. For how difficult could things be, with a heart still beating? But the girl was terribly mistaken. She was only growing dangerously comfortable, with being uncomfortable. It was an elusive silk she cast over herself. When people saw her, they mistook her quietness, lack of emotion, willingness to live, as happiness. But they too were terribly mistaken. She carried her heart in...

Home

Where I live,
We are surrounded by lush, forest greenery.
A glittering stream dwindles through, and we can tiptoe alongside it,
Until we reach a clear lake to swim in. 
Back at the small home,
There is a garden,
Filled with bundled flowers, of pink, yellow, and blue.
Busy bees flying amongst them.
Blankets sway in the gentle wind on the laundry line.
Violet morning glories blossom and climb the porch posts,
Chopped wood is set along the porch, and a cat lays, sleepy-eyed, in the sun.
Inside the home, it is warm.
The thin floorboards are yellow as if honey seeped into them,
A gentle fire crackles and gleams,
And a scratchy record is playing beside a piano.
It is peaceful now, but blasting music here is just as welcome, 
a drumset is downstairs. 
There are many windows, most are propped open with a stick.
The house looks lived in,
Blankets are strewn across the couch,
Colored pencils and...

song lyrics - need a name/meaning interpretation?

My mind blurs
Like a thousand dimming bulbs
Cascading across a darkened sky
It becomes an empty blue

Let us take a dive
Into the sky, deep within the earth we go
Let us take a dive
Into the sky, deep within the earth we go

My mind furrows
Engraving trails
Past sharp peaks and across rivers
One leads to home

It’s loving there
come follow
It’s lonely here 
It’s hollow

My mind sees light
As if crystalline
And the moon
As if an opened eye

Let us take a dive
Into the sky, deep within the earth we go
Let us take a dive
Into the sky, deep within the earth we go

But tell me this
Would I find you there?
I know that without you there,
That place too would grow dim

Incurable

Like vomit on carpet
Like a parasite in my mind
Festering in quelling knots
You eat away at what tastes best
And there you leave behind a mess

I guess I can clean this one too
For tears are the best cleaning fluid
The best I have to offer
but I can’t stock the shelves with it
And give it to the public

You’re an illness
You’re incurable
You make me sick
Beg for forgiveness
Or take your head to a brick

My head grows heavy
With every pound you choose to hold
And my body is growing wary
With every lie you ever told
To cover it up
To keep it sealed
Airtight, tightlipped

Funny I thought you’d convince me too
But instead of me growing with time
Time is growing upon me
Waves of an endless thrashing sea
Ware down my little island of safety



 

A Home in the Woods

The woods are dark, yet, you are met by a comforting and freeing sense. The cool air smells as though it is going to rain, so you keep a lookout for shelter, though you’re sure the branches of the outstretched trees would shelter you well. Golden pines delicately coat the forest floor and sap slowly trickles down the knotted wood. You continue to stroll amongst the lush landscape when your eyes are met by a small two-story home. Yellow light illuminates from the old framed windows and soothing music can be heard inside.There is a certain inviting sense you feel from the propped open door. You continue to walk forward and an old hound walks to the door wagging its tail as if to welcome you into the home. There are some steps leading up to a porch, where stacks upon stacks of firewood are meticulously organized, from where you are now, you can here a soft crackle of a...

HALLOWEEN

Halloween,
The brisk wind howls
And it dances with the leaves
And the old crooked house
Shudders as it grieves

The pavement is cracked
Shattered like the windows glass

The yellow light flickers bright
All throughout the dark blue night

The cool air whispers
And the old dog whimpers

The closet door creaks open
And they whisper- soft spoken

The brisk wind dances
And it dances with me
And the old crooked house
rejoices at Halloween.

A Home for Hate (trigger warning: sch**l shoo*ing, police viol*nce, de*th - it's not extremely detailed, I just don't want to upset anyone too much)

I remember the song we sang / And I remember the excitement and the smiles we shared / As we would stand up from our tiny desks and chairs / the sun would shine in from the classroom windows / I can still remember the children’s books stacked amongst them / we were only kids, so it was easy for us to believe things, without question / so there / we sang / and we sang with pride / up until the fourth grade, there was even a dance to go along with it / as our eyes beamed up to the American flag, perched in the top corner of the colorful children’s classroom / every heart beats true for the red white and blue / oh how we sang it! / And how we learned of American heroes / I remember me and two other kids being the only non-white children / but still, we sang that song with...

The Climate Crisis & Why I Believe It

       I would like to begin by saying, the purpose of writing this is not to call people who do not believe in climate change names. I'm not writing this to put people down. However, I am going to be writing truthfully, I will not sugarcoat, and I am going to be transparent about why I believe climate change is a real issue. Using scientific evidence I will support my point, and you, the reader, can develop your own opinions upon this. 

    Climate change is an extremely complex topic, I won’t lie. It is one that is difficult to fully grasp without feeling overwhelmed. It can feel very “out there.” I mean, if you are someone who doesn’t feel like you are currently being affected by it- it’s difficult to understand the real concern, I’m sure. Why step on the brakes and put everything aside for this issue? The skepticism surrounding climate change is understandable. It feels just like a...

When I Cry

A great big tree, with sunken roots, and outstretched branches
But at the hip,
Being hacked away at, by a strong steel ax

But still, I grow my leaves,
My flowers blossom, 
And this, I think,
Will hide the etched scar 
Growing deeper and deeper and deeper

So I think to myself,
As I continue to grow,
That this means I am fine
because I am still here,
Here and growing, so that must mean,
I am fine

But the ax digs deeper and deeper and deeper,
Still, I think,
I have no right to cry,
For there’s always someone out there who’s endured more

So I mask myself in pink blossoms and rich green moss
And think,
I am fine

But the ax,
It beats stronger
I begin splintering
I grow leaves
I am fine

But their hands,
That rub pain onto me
I begin to tilt
I grow blossoms
I am fine

But my dying world,
It breaks...

simply

Simply,
I want a kind life,
a connected life, &
still,
a life where
reality never faulters,
where,
there is land 
for my free spirit
to flourish, roam, & grow.... 

The Floor Has Eyes & The Land Does Not Sleep

The floor has eyes
and the land does not sleep
The trees say their goodbyes
as the wildflowers weep

The fires are not hungry
and the thunder bellows
but the land is growing empty
the rain kisses the spirits shadows

Waves lash out against the cliffs
slowly they wear down and away
we lash out with our pounding fists
and the thicket suddenly can no longer stay

The wind lifts the resting leaves
in a flurry, they all go
as the tree looms and grieves,
if she will get to grow leaves again she does not know

The land is awake
The land is alive
Alone she doesn’t know how much more she can take
before she will be left to break

The floor has eyes
and the land does not sleep
She fights for our lives
She says it's time we wake up from our sleep….

Speechwriting Competition 2020

SEVEN

Once, 
I was a seven year old girl. 
And once, she dreamed the world she lived in would be green and beautiful and free,
For all her life,
    And her children's lives
          And their children's lives
                And their children's lives
Once, 
I was a seven year old girl,
And I would play with my baby dolls
And would rock them in my arms and hold them close and say I'm their mama and their my baby.
Once, 
I was a seven year old girl,
And whenever us kids pretended to be a family, I would always, always, be the mother
Once, 
I was a seven year old girl
And I played in mud, peered at the creatures wriggling under rocks,
With a respectful seven year old fascination
Once, 
I was a seven year old girl,
And I would stare out the open car window in humming silence, admiring the intricate and fragile life around me
Once, 
I was only a...

Vivid Sounds

She feels the sound deep within her
it festers and pours out
her fingers wind their way through the air
stretching and reaching for something that is not quite there
in plumes colors envelope her surroundings
blue drips down, like draped silk
bloodied red and lavender clouds
the sound it wraps itself around
like wind speedily swooping down
and gently wrapping around
the rhythm it beats alongside her heart
heavy and dear it aims with a dart
piercing through my eardrum to my mind
the mind becomes a roaring tide
its depth it plummets
in depth it submits
herself to the movement
the sound
of the music

Red Light (short spooky story)

The tall pines leaned in over me, it was a moonless night, dark cold, and lonely. The wind thrust itself through the pines, the sound was haunting, it bent and contorted the branches as the sound creaked and groaned. 
I gripped onto my tattered school books, trembling. I was walking home from school, my feet had formed stubborn blisters from the old leather boots, and it wasn't before long- I had fallen asleep here in the thicket when I was taking a rest, and now it is dark. My sleepiness had washed over me like an enormous wave, I couldn’t fight it, I had to rest- but now, how great, I am here wandering home in the dark of the night. 
Then there it goes, to my left, once, twice, a red light beaming in the distance….not close enough for me to see its origins, far enough for me to feel safe though, far enough. 
I quicken my pace...

Red Light (short spooky story)

The tall pines leaned in over me, it was a moonless night, dark cold, and lonely. The wind thrust itself through the pines, the sound was haunting, the wind bent and contorted the branches and the sound creaked and groaned. 
I gripped onto my tattered school books, trembling. I was walking home from school, and before long- I had fallen asleep here in the thicket when I was taking a rest, and now it is dark. My sleepiness had washed over me like an enormous wave, I couldn’t fight it, I had to rest- but now, how great, I am here wandering home at night. 
Then there it goes, to my left, once, twice, a red light beaming in the distance….not close enough for me to see its origins, far enough for me to feel safe though, far enough. 
I quicken my pace and the woods feel alive. It makes me remember a story my schoolmates would bring up every...

"My Heart is Like"

A Heart Like Mountains and Hills

I know what my heart is like
     since I've known life:
it is like steep mountains and hills
bearing untouched earth
      But not lonesome,
      A flourishing flowering space,
with an inviting wooded edge.

 

People as Nature

Like a River

Lightning scatters across the dark sky like veins--
Krakoom!”
and the thunder bellows

delicate drops of water pour from the sky-- in sheets
    and the droplets collect into a stream

        the silky stream maneuvers through the thicket, 
     it peels back leaves
and slides onto the softened soil
and it dwindles through the grass
    and slips between the rocks

       making herself a path--
   she rages and floods
and spreads herself across the land

roots reach out to her
  and she grasps their hands
          the plants spring up, revitalized

     she continues speedily and the land looks alive
she rolls and tumbles down slumps and stones
but she knows this--
  is simply a part of making a path for herself

 the rain slows
and the stream mellows,
gently she slips off rocks 
 twinkling in the sun that's
   ...

GRIP ONTO EARTH & NEVER LET GO

I want to lay down on the earth
and grip onto the soft lush grass
and never let go

I want to dig my feet into the soil
and smell the soot after a rain

I want to run into the wooded land
And climb up old oaks

I want to sleep in a pile of golden crimson leaves
And wake up to the rising sun

I want to swim out into a cold lake
and curl up in a blanket by a fire

I want to grip onto the world

to truly feel and live

and never let go.

A WISH

Light shines over the crimson fields
Of yellow and twinkling dew
And the tall pines will gently bow
Down to the winds subtle blow

Through my window
It sweeps on down
To swing with my hair 
Across my frown

I gently smile
Only enough,
to let it know

To me it means worth while

I sit in tough small rooms all day
Wishing- somehow- I could get away
I watch as the wind dances so free
And the sun looks sweetly down upon thee

I imagine myself
Deep under water
Or reimmersed in a bundled field of green 

How nice it would be 
To be anywhere else
Where I am free 
To be and dream. 

NATURES REALITY

I don't believe there is much I like more than not wearing any shoes and feeling the Earth beneath my feet. In nature, I feel wholly alive. I once thought I loved nature so much because it was an escape, a refuge, but now....I sense....I love nature so much because it is a sincere reality. One unscathed by human decision. The river does not slow for you to cross it. The mountains do not crumble at your approach. The thicket does not thin out a path for you. Nature is who she is without defeat. She prevails.

An Apology

My face lights up
when we meet eye to eye
but I may not acknowledge you 
when you pass by

Please don't be hurt
by what you do not yet know
that I will never love you
the way you do so

I may be nice
but do still roll the dice
for my love wavers like a voice does
beneath its tough layers

I love you I do
but maybe not in the same way 
that you thought you knew

Through and through
those wistful prayers
you gently whispered like you do
that I could find it within myself
if only to love you

But my dear,
I fear,
that the truth may sting
and with honesty I will only bring....

I know,
        that I will never love you
                            the way you do so.

My Minds World

There lies a world inside my head
that develops upon my resting bed

Of sparkling charming little stars
and no longer the sound of the roar of cars

Where gentle fires crackle and beam
and streams dwindle along alike a sweet dream

Where thunder and lightning dance across the sky and rains gently taps the window of the room where I lie

There lies a world inside my head
that develops upon my resting bed

Of churning bits of silky steam
lifting from our teacups with a gentle gleam

Lights of yellow, floors of oak, 
blankets of cotton and chimney smoke

Let us sit together in this little dream of mine
and sit in the trees that dwindle and twine.

My Minds World

There lies a world inside my head
that develops upon my resting bed

Of sparkling charming little stars
and no longer the sound of the roar of cars

Where gentle fires crackle and beam
and streams dwindle along alike a sweet dream

Where thunder and lightning dance across the sky and rains gently taps the window of the room where I lie

There lies a world inside my head
that develops upon my resting bed

Of churning bits of silky steam
lifting from our teacups with a gentle gleam

Lights of yellow, floors of oak, 
blankets of cotton and chimney smoke

Let us sit together in this little dream of mine
and sit in the trees that dwindke and twine.

A Living Paradox

My voice,

Like the calamity of lightning and thunder
Yet alike soothing rain and wispful wind too

My presence,

One of seriousness and composure
Yet wild and unpredictable too

A woman is a paradox

She can be the one you fear,
Yet the one you come to for comfort too

I dare you,

Test my kindness,

Use it to your advantage and see what happens.

I may know how to heal your wounds, but don't be misled, I know how to inflict them too.

A Living Paradox

My voice,

Like the calamity of lightning and thunder

Yet alike soothing rain and wispful wind too
My presence,

One of seriousness and composure

Yet wild and unpredictable too
A woman is a paradox
She can be the one you fear,

Yet the one you come to for comfort too
I dare you,

Test my kindness,

Use it to your advantage and see what happens.
I may know how to heal your wounds, but don't be misled, I know how to inflict them too.