Cosmogyral

United States

'cosmogyral' means to twirl around the universe but i'm just caleb.

Message from Writer

i admit, when i first started sharing poetry, it was because i wanted to hurt you in ways a voice could never.

Peer Reviews

Can You See the Stars, Earth-Child?

PROMPT: Science Fiction Competition 2021

unknown

Dream Colors

PROMPT: Science Fiction Competition 2021

N/A

about 1 month

Narnia

PROMPT: Science Fiction Competition 2021

I'm in a bit of a tizzy over the usage of the first point of view, you want to watch your usage of 'I', it gets a bit heavy.

unknown

Hit With Glass Bullets[review for a review!]

PROMPT: Science Fiction Competition 2021

You've created an amazing world here. I felt like I could see things clearly, it helps that your introducing location

unknown

Gender Bias

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition: 2021

It's good, there's a lot of room for refinement. Poetry isn't often outright, but it doesn't need to be perfect. If you're angry at the misguvings toward girls over the millennia, make it known but don't make it desperate. Good luck, you're doing great! :)

4 months

In the Blood of the Dying

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition: 2021

I did go over this while listening to the video, I think you did fairly well. For posture, be as expressive as you think you should, you're a bit awkward but you did great! This was really fun to read, thanks for the opportunity!

4 months

Childhood Sensations

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition: 2021

unknown

eve

FREE WRITING

This is a leisurely slow read, I wanted to savour it because it was so nice, and so warm. When I reached the end, I truly wasn't ready to leave.

6 months

Lonely Enough To Be Lovely

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2020

Don't get sidetracked by separate plots of characters, if you stray too far, the piece will become disconnected. Happy writing! An indication of the initial word count (Minus the added title at the beginning) would be a helpful indicator to the reviewer of what they should suggest, it's just so we can keep in mind the initial wordcount while typing our suggestions, you don't have to, but if you do, feel free to type it into the footnotes. :) I apologize for nitpicking, but this is such a good plot to try out, and I am so happy I read it, if you find yourself with the time, please post this from chapter one!

9 months

In Which Les the Possum, Timothy Legonawy, and Trini Abasolo Abel are Caught in an Attic

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2020

A quick word of advice, never publish the "First Draft", the two words together insist that not a single word of editing went into it. It makes it seem novice, and you want readers to know that you aren't any ol' novice, you're a tactful novice. I agree with Grammarly (sadly), the overall tone is formal, way too much for a kid in an attic in 2019, even in the south, it doesn't connect well enough to the readers. If you don't want to change the tone, you could change the time, I think the late 1880s suits this pretty okay, but that's just me, it was a good read. If you do, you could replace Anne with Huck Finn or Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, the mid-1910s would also be perfect if you want to keep Anne, but then you might need to add the international tension and conflict. I apologize for nitpicking, I don't like sugar-coating my opinion too much. I hope you see this as constructive criticism because that's what I intended (but I'm told I'm rather daft at sparing feelings, lmao). Stay cool!

9 months

Words that will never make Sense (Explanation in footnotes aka project idea)

FREE WRITING

And about the footnote, the project sounds fun, but I simply do not that the heart to rip out a page of a book ( never have, lmao). If you go for it, I think you could develop a unique writing style such as this, something that has to make the reader think. Your title says that it makes no sense, but that's the beauty of it. I find it clear and intelligible, whether or not that was your intention, I'm kind of jealous of how well the concept was executed.

9 months

blood / mouth

FREE WRITING

normally, i hate repetition, it's almost never done right, but you're a natural bradbury.

9 months

When I look to the world ... [FINAL]

PROMPT: Speechwriting Competition 2020

Stay passionate, you're doing great. Suggestions are just suggestions, and that's all a review is. I really hope to at least see this at least as a finalist.

10 months

(litter)ature

FREE WRITING

I love this work, thanks for sharing it! I will now go forth and commit myself to mind-trash.

10 months

Demon Dance||Review for Review

FREE WRITING

It's beautiful, really, thank you for sharing. I look forward to your next work.

10 months

How hard it is

FREE WRITING

It's an incredibly powerful piece, the change of smiling to not life an evergreen in the desert is amazing. I'm stunned by the smooth transition you play in this. You're doing great <3

10 months

Cosmic Love Dies Too

FREE WRITING

you're doing great, this work has such wonderful potential. be confident in your work, this is all constructive criticism.

10 months

Starry, but hopeless

FREE WRITING

unknown

German and Jew | Draft #5 | Review for Review

PROMPT: Historical Fiction Competition 2020

Review for review? :/ You're doing great btw, let me know if you'll write another draft for comment.

10 months

Across the world

PROMPT: Historical Fiction Competition 2020

Any sentences i highlighted and rewrote, they're merely suggestions, this review is just constructive criticism.

11 months

The Last Watch of The Knight.

PROMPT: Historical Fiction Competition 2020

I didn't really go past the archer's point, it's easy to apply what I said to the rest of the story.

11 months

Class Antics

FREE WRITING

None at the moment, can't wait to read again if you plan a continuation.

11 months

Storyteller

FREE WRITING

It started off well, but the over use of the pronoun 'He' made it come off dense. If you plan a reread or continuation, could you experiment a little by using occupations or nouns such as 'the story-teller' or so other. The point of view is all over the place, so it's understandable if you didn't want to keep up. It would be great if you'd left it as the author/narrator's point of view, it might even give a different tone to the story.

11 months

Euphoria

FREE WRITING

A little bit of grammar touch-ups here and there, and some shifts in the punctuation, and I think you'll be pretty fine. It's a good piece.

over 1 year