Also, I would like to compliment your devotion to iambic pentameter all the way through. I would, however like to perhaps suggest that you now follow the rhythmic stresses as well. Although you filled the syllables correctly, try choosing words that would naturally be read like da DA da DA da DA da DA da DA. (Also line 3, because you made "would not" a contraction, does not meet syllabic requirements; "wouldn't" would be read as one syllable in that case so you can go ahead and make it two.) I found lines 10 and 14 executed this rhythmic stress the best as they sound natural when read aloud so I know you are capable. Try matching future sonnets to this as well. But overall, good job -- tackling Shakespearean sonnets is not an easy task and you're doing it well. Keep it up!
PROMPT: My December Competition 2019
Perhaps delve deeper into metaphor. I recognize this is a piece that expounds upon simplicity and timid character, but in future works maybe consider the thematic building of superobjective through a larger, overarching body of comparison. Just a thought. It may vary your work and make for a more impactful ending with depth if you ever wanted something more three-dimensional. Great work.