sunny.v

United States

she/her | asian | jester of wtw’s court
running off into the sunset with circe
est. april 27, 2020

sword-wielding protector of all minority groups | satire sorceress & heliocentric heroine

prose: sunnyv | ig: sunny.the.wordsmith

Message from Writer

an otherworldly, mystic creature incapable of writing normal footnotes. mwah.
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wtw’s resident apollo and soft knight in shining armor. wave a hanky to say hello—i’m always eager to converse!
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can often be seen being overenthusiastic and trying my best to be sweet in comments! or otherwise, wielding daggers.
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my talent manager is ★ white mountains ★. she’s a sweetheart—go greet her! and i’m the wtw wife of Vinter Vejen (gummy bear marriage) so go say hello as well!
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pfp by tofuvi, a wonderful artist that you should check out!

Peer Reviews

Together Enlisted--Feedback please!! :) (Draft Two)

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2020

Awesome job with this, I think with some clearing up of small details and switching around words, this can be even more polished! You made me root for these characters despite the impossible situation and you did it so effortlessly within the word count restriction. Best of luck in this competition, and let me know if you need any help with anything else!

10 days

Clouds

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2020

Lovely work! I think there are a few grammar mishaps, but you have your foundations laid out for you. I think you can cut down on word count to make room for more important details, or perhaps you could try your hand at showing more of their characterization/leaving things to be implied. Best of luck in this competition, this was a joy to read, and I hope July musters up some courage!

11 days

if she were a he

FREE WRITING

The switch in pronouns on the final lines brought a smile to my face. I understood this piece as a narrative for the trans community, and I find it so uplifting, yet bittersweet. If I’ve misunderstood, though, that’s on me! You did so wonderfully with this piece: I was hooked onto every line you right. You surely have a way with words and storytelling succinctly. If I can help further, please let me know!

about 1 month

tonight's the last night i dream of you

FREE WRITING

This was a lovely, bittersweet read. It was a quiet sort of heartbreak: not sob-inducing, not angry, but a quiet sort of reverie. I love the details about the dreams and the nightmares, and that last stanza is so vivid and mournful. Lovely work as always, and I’m sorry I couldn’t provide much criticism: the piece already seems so polished. Let me know if you have any questions!

about 1 month

all our broken hearts on display

FREE WRITING

Lovely work with really embodying the nitty-gritty in your face details of a panic attack! Your piece is unique and not over-generalized, and it displays personal thoughts and insecurities that make the reader curious. Your formatting is deliberate and clever—however, there are some lines that are a bit out of place in their repetition or placement. With some slight fixing up, I’m sure this will shine even more! Awesome job. Let me know if you have any questions!

about 2 months

burning things like trucks and my white privilege (tw for recent events and mention of dying/death)

FREE WRITING

This is an absolute national treasure to read, and I feel as if it should land in a history textbook eventually when children read to look back on these times. You say this isn’t elegant, but it’s its own type of powerful-refined and angry-classy, and as you say, very punk rock. It’s a lovely read for a reader that’s equally as upset as you with the way the country is being run, and with some elaboration on some lines and connection between your figurative language, I feel it’ll run even more smoothly. I know I myself will be rereading this many times for how truthful and “no room for arguments” this is—you say what’s need to be said. I would wish you luck with this piece, but you have plenty of talent alone to carry you! Let me know if you have any questions!

about 2 months

six horizontal stripes | final draft

FREE WRITING

With some polishing of word choice, grammar, and elaboration, this should be squeaky-clean and fresh! The piece is a right joy to pour through. I can tell how much you took the time to think about each color. This is a piece to re-read and see differently every time: a kaleidoscope of experiences and emotions. Lovely, lovely work! Thank you for such a joyful pride piece! Let me know if you have any questions.

about 2 months

polaroid pictures of refuge (edited)

PROMPT: Refuge

This piece is such a warm delight to read! It fills the reader with that nice happy-sad feeling of memories for the familiar and mundane. There are parts where I think you could elaborate more, replace with different word choices that would flow with your tone more, and where you could transition more smoothly. However, this piece is still on-so lovely! You have a knack for making me feel right at home, or in this case, your home. I feel like retreading this on a nice evening to remember...memories? In any case: good luck, and let me know if you have any questions!

about 2 months

of sea glass and the moon

FREE WRITING

I admire your talent to make such mystical pieces so effortlessly with your words. You should really get into contact with an illustrator someday—it’d be wonderful to see such whimsical pieces with drawings to help visualize! Overall, just some cleaning up with the sentence structure to make things more impactful and word choice would greatly polish things up! But still, I love how tranquil and enigmatic this piece is. Let me know if you have any questions!

about 2 months

a hypocrite's guide to self-deprecation

FREE WRITING

This was a pleasure to read, and I really did see a lot of how you put yourself in it. It’s hard for writers sometimes to write about the more unpleasant or less bright and shiny aspects of ourselves, and you do it perfectly. Truly, I reread this a couple of times, because despite its length, I had to re experience those clever metaphors again. My suggestions to clean this up a bit by putting in a tad more expansion and more breathers/clear-cut lines are just suggestions, since you know the tone you’re trying to convey best! I adored now refined yet raw this was, and how often you’d make me flush darkly at every turn that this spoke to me. Awesome work, and if you want me to look at another draft, I’d be happy to!

about 2 months

To Eat or Not To Eat: Living with a Food Allergy

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2020

This is a great first draft and incredibly informative. It’s such an original experience, and I tried to capture as much of the essence of your essay as I could in my highlights/comments so I could really try to make it shine. This deserves more light, truly, and you do a stellar job at showing how universal this problem can be while walking through your own personal experiences. If you have questions, feel free to converse with me, and I’ll do my best to help where I can. And definitely, if you need help with your conclusion (which I feel could be expanded on), I’m here to help! Awesome work, keep it up!

2 months

prosecution of the envious

FREE WRITING

Excellent, excellent piece, and honestly, probably one of my favorite of yours! Your whole play on vegetation and envy is just wonderful, and how you added “justice” and “prosecution” into the mix was masterful. You seriously have a knack for brutally honest and raw pieces, and I admire you endlessly for that. I’ve never read a piece about envy before, so this was wonderful. Keep it up!

2 months

(pt. 1)

FREE WRITING

this is actually pretty polished for a rough rough draft! i’d say that with some cleaning up, like word flow and diction, this’ll shine really nicely! your concept is so cool, a doppelgänger? and no worries about the “cliche” romance, i think popular tropes are always a delight when used well. you don’t go overboard on description, which is wonderful, and your dialogue is very telling. but there are parts where some words throw off the line, or your flow gets a bit choppy. but that’s not to say that i don’t love this, and it isn’t a great piece! i saw that you wanted a detailed review, so i tried my best to be as helpful as i could! wonderful work, and i’d love to see part 2!

3 months

sunburnt shoulders smell sweeter than shadowed eyelids

FREE WRITING

beautiful through and through! i think with a bit of polishing, this could be much much more powerful! there are some parts with awkward word choice and transitions, and i think by making these smoother it would do better to help the reader glide through your theme. i think the allegory is put very clearly into this, which is no easy task! your diction is great, so please please keep some of the beautifully worded lines you put! however, i think the biggest thing to improve would be changing some of the specific words that seem to throw the lines off from what you’re trying to convey overall. perhaps more words that better fit the mood? and again, making some lines fit together more so the connection is less awkward. overall, cohesiveness is what i’m nagging at. great job with this one again! big fan of plato and big fan of how eloquently you retold the cave.

3 months

ode to the yesteryear

FREE WRITING

you really have a talent, jo! i have a lot to learn from you. i think some parts of this could use more clarification for the reader since it’s very personal, and could be made a bit more clearer. the emotions were so raw and bittersweet, and it was a painful type of good read! amazing work! p.s. thank you so much for loving my series. i saw your comment and your shout out to me on your profile. it means the world. p.p.s there’s this account called Writers of The World where you can submit other people’s poems (and your own) to be nominated for a monthly Must Reads! i nominated your Wheel of Endless Gold for April! hopefully your great work shines through.

3 months

Me in Three

PROMPT: YOU in threes

this gave the reader a nice picture of you! it was fun and lighthearted, and you managed to do this prompt without seeming like you were overthinking yourself, but rather just laying out what you really thought. i would definitely overthink, so kudos to you! perhaps you should do an updated one, since this was a couple months ago? nice job jo!

3 months

Wheel of Endless Gold

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2020

your poem is adorable. your sensory was absolutely a delight, and i find myself wanting to draw art for it! the rhyme scheme adds to the tone of mystical-ness. keep at it! i've reread this a couple of times, and every time i smiled at the adventure this brings. absolutely great work.

3 months

Sleep

FREE WRITING

Great job! Despite its relative smaller length, you manage to convey a perfect image in your piece. I think the readers will easily be able to relate. However, I think you could do more to really dig into the nitty gritty of it. Maybe add more thoughts and emotions, more descriptors, maybe a few sideways thoughts. Your rhyme scheme is nice, but just like the rest of us, we could always improve! Good job with this piece!

4 months

december

PROMPT: Five Line Fiction

Great job with your short, succinct little tidbits of imagery! You take the reader towards a forlorn, almost numb feeling, and then you shift into something more gentle near the end. I think you could make this transition more natural, though! Perhaps some precursor words to hint at the turn? All in all, great work!

4 months

no mama i am not your daughter i am your child | #aprilaprilapril

FREE WRITING

the way you repeat things makes it seem like a pained thought process. that really adds to the whole tone of the piece, but i feel as if some parts could be clearer and more cleanly executed. i think the thought process overall could be more neat. i like the way you connect your ideas between sections sometimes, but i feel as if you could make it more clear/prominent that that’s what you’re doing. finally, i believe personally that it’d be more impactful if you separated certain lines, just to give that extra emphasis! great job with this piece. i hope you find peace one day!

4 months

trudextis

FREE WRITING

i admire your ability to piece together raw and “to the bone” imagery! it’s almost visceral to read, and it takes the reader to the mindset that I believe you’re trying to get at. there are some sections in this that i absolutely adored individually, but perhaps to make the piece more strung together, you could add things in between them, sort of as bridges? i’d also like to see more of your metaphors on linguistics like you did nearing the middle/end of the piece! i really like linguistics too. from me to you, as someone who’s exposed to them often, perhaps take a shot at asian languages! i think you’d get a kick out of the beauty of them. it’s a whole other world than Romance languages! maybe you’ll even write a piece about those (winky face)? “trudextis is not a word that exists in standard english but mark my words it will be” looking forward to it. great job with your poem!

4 months

inevitable pain

FREE WRITING

You did a great job with your ideas! I felt a certain artistic-ness from the concept that you presented of separating yourself emotionally to avoid the pain of losing a loved one. You frame it as “avoiding the inevitable”, which has a specific poignance to it. However, I think you could flesh out your ideas more! Expand on what led you to write what you did for certain parts. Perhaps try to smooth out some concepts, making the ideas you have fit together more rather than introducing ones that seem new to the reader. Great job with this poem, I liked it!

4 months

the art of entity

FREE WRITING

Great job! I really like this poem. The way you describe things is simply gorgeous, even if it’s just simple sunlight creeping through the windows. I love the idea of “pressing” things. I think some concepts in your stanzas are a bit too abstract, and the reader might not be able to piece together what you’re intending to convey with it. Perhaps flesh it out more? Nice poem!

4 months

She is a Mortal Divinity | #kayv(4)

FREE WRITING

You did a great job with keeping the pattern of “she is...” and so on. I really admire how succinct yet impactful your words are. It’s easy to imagine her vivacity with the way you draw connections to her and other pleasant things. Perhaps elaborate a bit more on some of the comparisons? It would be great to see some of them more fleshed out!

4 months

my midnight cry to no one

FREE WRITING

I like how modern and relatable to teens that this is. Not many adults could read this and relate, so I find a certain poignance in this. Everything is raw and emotional, though I think some ideas could be more fleshed out and clearer. Nice work!!

4 months