Angelina Nguyen

Australia

"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing."
-Benjamin Franklin

Message from Writer

Hello, everyone! I hope you enjoy my pieces published on this page! Most of what I write is inspired by real life events, along with people I have the pleasure of meeting. Please favourite, review, leave a comment or share any of my works if you like them because it may not seem like it but it means a great deal to me and will make my day tremendously.

Peer Reviews

My Heart is Like

PROMPT: "My Heart is Like"

The simplicity and yet intensity of this poem draws inspiration from another and evidently incorporates your "own spin" with writing style. Your command over language and control is highly admirable, allowing you to illustrate meaning with a refined, succinct approach. I thoroughly enjoyed reviewing this and look forward to your continued engagement with the site's prompts, as well as individual creative projects. Thank you so much once again for all the fantastic work you have done this ambassadorship and happy writing!

8 months

Bread and Light

PROMPT: Bread and Light

A gorgeous exemplar response which responds with power to the prompt! Your list reveals a strong sense of self and personality derived from the activities and commitments you have in your life. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW. Thank you once again for all your amazing peer reviewing this ambassadorship and happy writing!

8 months

The Common Denominator of Success

PROMPT: Self-Respect

You generate self-respect in a way which positively challenges you and provides you with the opportunity to grow as a person. This would make an amazing discursive essay topic if you were looking to extend this into a longer piece of writing. I know I would be more than interested to read it myself! I came across this resource which you may find intriguing in relation to the subject of self-respect. I hope you find it as fascinating as I did! https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-2800/The-Forgotten-Trait-of-SelfRespect.html Overall, this was a lovely read. I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW and would like to thank you once again for the valuable contributions your peer reviews have had on the site. Happy writing!

8 months

Winter Wishes

PROMPT: Open Prompt

You have some fantastic examples of excellent control and command over language. A personal favourite was "a muted squeal of joy" which was articulated so acutely and with vividness in sound. There is a refinement to your writing that is admirable and worth investing in further as you churn out more pieces in the near future. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem and look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Thank you so much for everything you have done so far in the ambassadorship and happy writing!

8 months

Bookshelf

PROMPT: Bookshelf

Your fascination with historical fiction and writing that reflects a significant aspect of its immediate world illuminates your book shelf as one that is culturally informed and with deep interest in the past. Well done on this exemplar piece! It serves as a fantastic example of how this prompt should be structured and responded to. Thank you for all the amazing work you have done so far in this ambassadorship and I hope this review receives you well. Happy writing and keep it up!

8 months

Pagpag

PROMPT: Strike

Linking images, videos or articles that evidence this issue could further engage the reader and encourage them to investigate into the reality of this issue through other sources. You could provide these in the footnotes for your readers to refer to, as well as to elevate the validity and credibility of your advocacy. Overall, your piece responds with conviction and power to this prompt. It would be a delight to see it transformed into a longer essay as your eagerness for activism could shine even more. Thank you for all the amazing work you have done for the site so far as an ambassador and I hope this review is helpful! I look forward to seeing more of your writing and reviews on WTW. Happy writing!

8 months

the pianist's paranoia

FREE WRITING

I noticed that your narration's tense fluctuates between past and present. Was this a creative choice? If not, I would definitely suggest revising certain areas to ensure that the tense in consistent and refined. Otherwise, it was a pleasure to read and review your story. Let me know if you have any further questions and I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

9 months

Romantic

FREE WRITING

This poem reads well as a spoken word with how you have structured it and there is an element of sonority to the words which you could bring to surface in a performance. If you were to ever return to this draft and write an extension to it, I would love to suggest you also considering to turn it into a performance poem and to record it for listening. It would be great to listen to! Overall, I enjoyed reviewing this piece and look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

10 months

home?

PROMPT: At Home

Well done on a moving and invigorating piece! I hope it was able to help you reconcile with your understanding of what a home is when you wrote it. It was a pleasure for me to review and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

10 months

And There They Go Again. Children or Heroes?

FREE WRITING

As for your Message, I believe that writing is perhaps one of the best ways to take out my own frustrations, as much as it is to improve. Good on you for being proactive with your writing and channelling it meaningfully on Write the World! I look forward to reading more of your works and seeing you on the site with many great pieces to come. Happy writing!

10 months

The Final Battle

FREE WRITING

This paragraph could be extended and developed into a response that would be a great contribution for the 'Turned to Stone' prompt on WTW! It commences with an eerie and suspenseful mood and could make an excellent piece with the stimulus provided. I have linked it below if you are interested/have yet to respond to it. https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/assignments/903 I hope my feedback was helpful and let me know if you have any further questions. I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW and have a great 2019. Happy writing!

11 months

The Flowers in my Lungs

FREE WRITING

I would love to see this performance when you do it! Please provide a link in this review for me. It would be amazing to hear you yourself present it. Let me know if you have any other questions about this review. I hope my feedback was helpful and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

11 months

The Wind on my Way Home

PROMPT: All About Alliteration

"wind what winsome wind which whistles like one wounded wolf" I think your concern about the cringe-factor might lie in how it might come off as forced to the reader. You could perhaps insert some other filler words that don't start with "w" to give this stanza more variety. Something like "the wind/what winsome wind/which whistles in the night/ piercing without wavering like/ one wounded wolf." This could give the poem a more natural flow and still retain the alliteration effect. I hope this feedback was helpful. Let me know if you have any further questions and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

11 months

Lone Wolves

FREE WRITING

This was an amazing read and a fresh take on the free verse form with a minimalist and yet compelling narrative. Let me know if you have any further questions and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

12 months

Recipe for Strength

PROMPT: 2019

This was a wonderful recipe for what I'm sure is going to be a meaningful and progressive year for you. I hope you will be able to find strength in the new year. All the best for 2019 and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

12 months

Viper.

FREE WRITING

Your poem presents an accurate representation of toxic relationships and how they can both progressively and instantaneously destroy a person. It is written in a simple and yet sophisticated manner, allowing the reader to immerse in your writing and empathise with the persona's struggle. Let me know if you have any further questions and I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

12 months

Outside my back window

PROMPT: The Vistas Beyond

I hope my feedback was helpful and let me know if you have any further questions! I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Have a happy new year and happy writing!

12 months

Plato the Greek Philosopher

FREE WRITING

This response would be a fantastic addition to the True Stories group on the site under 'The Footnote' prompt! You can read the guidelines for further instructions on what the submission requires; the research and discussion you present in this draft would be highly appropriate for it to be published there with your own additional footnotes that provide your sources and side commentary. Including footnotes can further elevate the quality of your essay and provide you with an opportunity to insert your own remarks and comments on various ideas. I hope this feedback will be helpful! Let me know if you have any questions and I look forward to reading more of your works on the site. Happy writing!

12 months

The Life Within

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

I thoroughly enjoyed reviewing this piece and look forward to seeing what contributions you will make to the site post ambassadorship. Hopefully this review was helpful! Thank you for your commitment and efforts in the program and all the best with your creative endeavours. Happy writing!

12 months

Music Box

FREE WRITING

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem and I hope my feedback in this review was helpful! Let me know if you have any further questions and I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

12 months

happiness using the senses

PROMPT: Emotion without Feeling

This emotion's connection to you is illuminated in ordinary experiences that are light and friendly. A suggestion I could offer would be to incorporate a more explicit reference to sound in your poem. You could choose to insert it like this "it is walking barefoot and brushing up on warm grass, being bathed in golden sunlight" or invent an independent sound description as another line in your poem. This can give it that final element of depth. Thank you for sharing such a lovely piece! I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

12 months

What My Mother's Love Sounds Like

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

You pronounce your personal change with conviction and remain confident in your experiences as incremental processes to realising your mother's love. I hope that writing this personal essay was able to bring a sense of reconciliation for you and look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW. Thank you once again for all the amazing work you have done on the site and happy writing!

about 1 year

​Juniper

PROMPT: Library Magic

"Imagine my dismay when her first question wasn’t about the Junie B. Jones book cradled between my arms but, “Why are you brown?”" There is something so powerfully written about this sentence and shows your personal story in a way that demonstrates how much of an impact words from others can have. It's moments like these that really resonate with a POC audience, including myself as a reader! I can recall a time when I was explaining to my mum in Vietnamese how to use the train ticket machine before a white lady behind me tapped me on the shoulder and told me to "go back to where I came from." I was really upset at it as a ten year old but in reflection, I feel incredibly offended by it. Although your experience was not pleasant, I admired how you spoke of it with pride and I was glad to see that from what could have been a traumatic memory, you were able to grow to love the library! You tell a narrative that many culturally diverse individuals can deeply relate to and that was what made your piece so compelling to read, especially when it wasn't expected from what you initially described. There's many layers to this response and I found that intriguing. I hope my feedback was helpful and thank you so much again for all the reviews you have been posting on WTW. Keep it up and happy writing!

about 1 year

December

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

I hope my feedback was helpful for your drafting! Let me know if you have any further questions and if I can assist you in any way. I look forward to reading the final submission and to see more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

Evolution

PROMPT: We Forget

I hope the feedback was helpful! This was a pleasure to read and was highly thought-provoking for just a quick bit of writing. I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

More Extraordinary in the Ordinary

FREE WRITING

These poems were thought-provoking and evocative, illuminating ordinary and familiar experiences to provide them with an element of magic. You present reality through a magnifying glass and colour the observations you make with intensity and imagination. I hope this review was helpful and I look forward to reading more of your works coming along on the site. Happy writing and a huge thanks again for all the amazing reviews you have submitted on the site so far!

about 1 year

96 Hours Ago

PROMPT: Turned to Stone

This piece demonstrates technical and conceptual strength which is commendable to the writer. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and would definitely be interested in reading it if you were to write it into a short story. I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

10 Things

PROMPT: Your View

There is a nice frankness to your writing that shows fearlessness and willingness to point out the flaws with our society today and reveal what is truly important. You also present some truths and moral standpoints that have high modality and, thus, credibility. I hoe this review was helpful and I forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

The Courage of Creating

PROMPT: The Challenge of Courage

This anecdote is beautifully written and communicates your personal connection with the artist effectively. The prompt has a focus on challenges when it comes to courage and you could possibly choose to further explore this if you wished to revise the draft. The challenges are stated at the beginning of the second paragraph and could be woven throughout it more to show the relevance of facing and overcoming challenges to succeed artistically. Were there any particular artistic works that reflected her personal life and how did she respond to those inner challenges with courage? What was your reaction specifically to those works? These could be some details to investigate in further and allow you to flesh out more of how challenges and courage operate in tandem. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece and was engaged in your insight on courage, as well as your admirable example of someone in your own life who defines the rewards of courage to you. I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

Clicks And Clacks

FREE WRITING

Turning onomatopoeia into poetic subject matter could be a potential trademark of yours because you do it so successfully here! If you created a series of poems with this kind of premise, I would love to read them. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece and look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

A sigh

FREE WRITING

I love the prose poetry elements on this piece that combines a sense of narrative with expressive articulation. This piece demonstrates precision in your ideas and your ability to welcome readers to immerse in new worlds that bring meaning to familiar phenomena. It would be amazing if you could possibly note to the reader whether or not this experience was inspired from your own real life or if the place exists! From your piece's description of it, the grove does sound like a place I would travel to. I look forward to reading more of your work on WTW and wish you all the best with future pieces! Happy writing!

about 1 year

Remember

PROMPT: Everyday Magic

Your plain English style of writing made this piece a simple and delightful read. I really admired how you captured the thoughts and feelings of your characters with conviction and ease. It allowed me to be invited in with its friendly language and I thoroughly enjoyed reviewing this piece. I hope this feedback is helpful and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

Life in Venice

FREE WRITING

This was a beautifully written poem with an old-fashioned style of love, longing and memory fused within it. I would love to know the inspiration behind the writing and if you gained any new insights on love as you finished the draft. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and look forward to reading more of your poetry on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

X-Ray Results

FREE WRITING

There appears to be an absence of punctuation in your poem which can allow it to qualify to be published in the 'Unconventional' prompt! It would make a great submission for the thread. I have linked the prompt below if you wished to publish it again in response to it. https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/assignments/1603 I hope this feedback is helpful and want to send a big, warm welcome to 'Write the World'! This is a stellar first piece and I look forward to reading more of your work on the site. Happy writing!

about 1 year

beneath the earth

PROMPT: Unconventional

The poem's compact nature allows it to be a quick and yet immersive read. It reminds me of the style of Sylvia Plath, especially with the "balloon" word choice that is utilised in her poem 'Morning Song.' She could be a great source of inspiration to look to! If you ever wanted to expand this piece into a story or prose nonfiction work, I would strongly recommend publishing it in the 'Writers on Earth' group which looks at themes of environmentalism and conservation too. You demonstrate an inclination towards these ideas in this poem and it would be interesting to see where your advocacy for the earth could expand to. I hope this review was helpful and look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

Seasons

FREE WRITING

On a completely different side note, I actually went to see Jersey Boys: The Story of Franki Valli and the Four Seasons very recently so I still have the music in my head! I would definitely recommend listening to the musical's soundtrack if you haven't already. This piece reminded me of that experience. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece. It has cohesion and energy throughout it that is worth commending. I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

about 1 year

A Poet's Ouroboros

FREE WRITING

If you had fun writing this, I would love to see you start a series of cyclic poems and publish them here! You could name the series "Ouroboros" and individually title each poem based on their subject matter. It could be a great project to invest in and will give you a collection of poems that revolve around a similar structural concept. You could post these in the Poets and Wordsmiths group if you wished! I hope the feedback is helpful! I look forward to reading more of your poetry on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

Just a Place

FREE WRITING

I have noticed that your writing has been quite methodical so far in this piece which is something that defines the piece well. It sustains your narrator voice effectively and drives the writing with a sense of consistency. This could also be something for you to further develop in future pieces. Consider experimenting with different sentence structures, lengths and forms to give your writing some variety. Most of your sentences here start with "The" or "It"; try to see how else you could start them and introduce new elements to each sentence. The repetition of words such as "incline", "snow", "soft winds" and "cold/coldness" enables your piece to achieve unity already and it would be interesting to see how you could create more contrast in your descriptions in future drafts. I hope this is helpful! I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

Why I Write, Explaining this Deadly Sin

PROMPT: Why I Write

I love the integration of the Seven Deadly Sins throughout this poem, developing a complexity to the first stanza which responds to the prompt. It takes an unconventionally negative outlook on writing but transforms it into something quite beautiful. The way this was executed gave a whole new meaning to what being a writer entails and how rewarding it is despite all the potential challenges or sinful aspects associated with it. Well done on such a fantastic poem and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

I Am A Raven

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

For a final suggestion, it would be amazing if you could provide links or further information as to the different popular culture references you make in the essay in the footnotes section at the end. The movie you have held so dear has not been specified with a title and it does sound like something I would like to watch. I would also love to have a listen to the music you have inserted in the reflection and have your recommendations for particular songs that you like most. I have provided some suggestions throughout the essay in the annotations for possible areas you may wish to revise in finalising this draft for the competition submission. They can be taken on board at your decision and I wish you all the best with the competition. I look forward to hearing about the final publication and to seeing more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

I fell in love with a blackhole

FREE WRITING

There is something dramatic and fascinating about the writing style and persona voice you exhibit within this piece. The conviction and control you have shown in this piece is admirable! I would love to know more about the inspirations behind your subject from how inviting you have constructed them in this poem. I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

about 1 year

Brothers

PROMPT: All Talk

When limited to only using dialogue, you have the liberty to be experimental with punctuation to emulate human speech! I notice you do it with ellipses but you could be even bolder with more exclamation marks, hyphens, changing font to bold or italics, as some of the suggestions I listed in the annotations. Reading your piece aloud can help you identify what variations of articulation you might want to implement in your dialogue and how they can show different facets of your characters. I would strongly recommend this be something to consider in this piece and in future works of writing that are based around conversation. If you enjoy this style of dialogue writing, I would recommend reading Tim Winton's 'Cloudstreet'! I am currently studying it for my HSC course and his omission of quotation marks is one of the text's most defining features. The seamless integration of dialogue mirrors yours well so this could be a potential investment that might inspire you as a fellow Australian writer yourself! Your dialogue has a natural flair to it that parallels with realistic speech successfully. The interweaving conversation between Riley and Mason deepens throughout the duration of the story and demonstrates your sophisticated understanding of characterisation. I hope this feedback is helpful and I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

a masterpiece had been created

FREE WRITING

If you were hoping to revise this draft, I would recommend implementing more biblical allusions to develop the subject matter of your poem. The significance of religion has been established in your uplifting first stanza which can be sustained throughout your poem to generate unity. You could allude to and reference Renaissance artworks, as they have a central focus on illuminating the human body and magnificence. This poem also reminds me of Kahlil Gibran's 'The Prophet' in the style of your writing and its ideas. I would certainly suggest reading his poems in this suite because it is one of my favourites and targets the elevation of the self which your poem does too. This may provide more stimuli for your creative process with this poem and is worth investing a read in! I hope the feedback is helpful and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

this avalanche of smoke

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

This piece reminds me of Australian writer Robert Gray's poetry which centralises around the environment and human destruction. If you were looking for potential stimuli to spark further ideas in this draft, I would suggest reading his poems 'Meatworks' and 'Flames and Dangling Wire' that look at the role of ethics closely associated with the environment. You have plenty of words to work with and could consider expanding on your poem further with a new burst of creativity! I am also an advocate for utilising intertextuality as a poetic tool. If you could find a quote from an existing piece of writing by an environmentalist writer, you could allow it to be redefined in meaning amid your own poem. If you do choose to do this, I would suggest referencing the original writer in the footnotes and detailing what ideas they bring to your response. It would be a fantastic way to elevate the significance of your message. Overall, your piece has potential to be a winning entry in this competition and I wish you all the best with your drafting up until the publication deadline. I look forward to reading the final piece and to see more of your works on WTW. Happy writing and good luck!

over 1 year

New Notebook

FREE WRITING

If you have not already published something in the 'Icicle' prompt for the Poets and Wordsmiths group, this would be a really suitable response to it! The way you evoke power in the notebook aligns with the prompt's premise of charging character and spirit into an inanimate object. Choosing to publish this in the Poets and Wordsmiths group was a wise choice because it captures the details of writing that all writers, but particularly this group, can relate to. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem and believe it is one of my favourites amongst the ones I have read on the platform in the last few years. I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW and wish you all the best with your endeavours. Happy writing!

over 1 year

08/06/1945

PROMPT: 55 Word Fiction

The last sentence presents the finality of death and suggests the impending destruction that followed in the bombing yet to take its toll. Your connection with time, place and character is demonstrated effectively in your writing and is a highly original response that adheres to the prompt’s restrictions. Well done on a sophisticated piece of flash fiction and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Killing Killer Whales Who Kill People

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

The response was an interesting read and targets a specific issue with the environment. By choosing to narrow your scope down to the interplay between power and oppression, you are able to prompt further questioning by readers on the ethics of animals in captivity. In revision, your piece could be extended more to address this broader concern and can prove to be a strong entry into this competition. As for further readings that you could cite and reference in your writing, I have provided two sources that can establish your perspective and help enhance your argument. The perspective of the first one was from a former employee at Sea World who challenges the ethical intentions of the marine park, which aligns with your main criticism. The second article has some striking figures and statistics that can be referenced to give some quantitative shock to the reader. I have attached links to them below and would recommend them as useful resources to integrate in this piece. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/why-killer-whales-belong-in-the-ocean-not-seaworld-180954333/ https://au.whales.org/wdc-in-action/fate-of-captive-orcas I hope my suggestions were helpful but feel free to take on board what you personally will find useful for developing your writing. Good luck with the competition and I look forward to reading the final draft! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Daisies and Daffodils

PROMPT: "It was the Year..."

The repetition utilised in your piece was a great device for sustaining and accelerating your narrative. I hope the feedback is helpful and look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Inventory Of My Character

PROMPT: Inventory

The order you have chosen for the list conceptualises this unravelling of the character that the prompt outlines. As the box is explored more, your character's objects gain more significance, effectively layering his background and personality. It would be nice to consider titling your response 'The Metal Box' or something alike to that in order to invite the reader into the inventory. I would definitely be interested in reading about this character and seeing how these different objects come into play in their narrative! I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

opinions & thoughts of today

PROMPT: Your View

Your list is creative and diverse, ranging from personal opinions on attitudes, behaviours and tendencies, to broader socio-political commentary. This is a strength in your compiled thoughts which sustains the reader's interest. I would love to see this become a regular series and read more of your proclamations! I hope the feedback helps and wish you all the best with your works. Happy writing!

over 1 year

At the Ball

PROMPT: Into the Woods

Overall, you have presented an evocative insight into the woods that is personally charged and expounded to involve the reader. By doing this, you encourage the reader to investigate into the environment and view its enduring beauty and strength. I hope the feedback is helpful and look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing and thank you for all the amazing reviews you have provided over the ambassadorship! Keep in touch :)

over 1 year

Wherever...

PROMPT: Sprout Out

If you were looking to revise this draft, a suggestion I could offer would fall under structure. Rather than changing the content in your poem, because I find that it is emotionally compacted and intensifying, I would recommend you view the stanzas almost like they are shuffling pieces. I can see that you play with the polar opposites for the effect of contrast which you could further experiment with. An idea I had would be how you could start the poem off still with the "life" stanza and jump straight in with the more negative aspects such as fire, hatred, misery and then slowly transition with rain, love and joy. This is a possible way to lace a spectrum of the human experience and how out of negativity, positive aspects can emerge. You could do it in the opposite order and have a completely different message. The stanzas at the moment work well and could be enhanced in effect if arranged in a certain order to your intended message. Consider this in tandem with what impact you want your final line to have on the reader. I hope my feedback is helpful! I look forward to reading more of your poetry on WTW and wish you all the best. Happy writing!

over 1 year

once upon a dream

FREE WRITING

I have noticed a sparing use of punctuation in your poetry which may be a creative choice to allow the stanzas to flow as a dream sequence would. A suggestion I could offer if you were looking to revise this draft would be to consider utilising hyphens, full stops or even an exclamation mark as expressive devices to colour your persona's voice further. You could experiment with where you can place different punctuation marks to see how it may impact the articulation of certain lines. The subject matter is intense and emotionally driven, something which could be brought to surface more with these choices. Overall, your poetry has a lovely atmosphere to it and its content is relevant to a world such as ours where first love is not always lasting. However, 'once upon a dream' has almost immortalised this passing experience of love, and the dream itself, by poetically conveying the permanence of experiences. I look forward to reading more of your pieces on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Pretty

FREE WRITING

One thing I did notice was that some of the paragraphs after are immediately presented and not spaced/indented like the others. Was this a conscious choice? It would be good to keep the structure consistent and to give that resting space between paragraphs with blank spaces. Overall though, your writing has a sophistication to it and I enjoyed viewing the narrative through an unlikely lens. The dialogue was effectively utilised! It maintains the common idea of your title and sustains it in your story well. It also develops in meaning over the duration of the story and I found that a clever way of helping the reader navigate through it. I hope the feedback helps and I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Synesthysia Writing Exercise

FREE WRITING

For just a reference point, the word is spelt as 'synaesthesia'. If there was a key reason why you chose to misspell it, I would love to know why! It would also be interesting to see you further explore literary techniques and devices as stimuli for creative writing. What started as a writing exercise motivated by insomnia can always be taken to something bigger, especially if you found it enjoyable to write. Hopefully this helps! I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

explore

FREE WRITING

Your love for travel and seeing places would make you an excellent member of the Global Citizens or Writers on Earth groups! They can provide you with further prompts to explore and expand your writing about places that hold meaning to you. I strongly recommend you join these groups as they characterise your writing style and message well. This also reminds me of an Australian poet I am currently studying at school named Robert Gray. His poetry is very centred around places and the differences between the natural and man-made world. You could check him out if you were interested. He might be another stimulus to prompt your own writing! Overall, your piece is highly engaging and demonstrates a sense of planning to deliver complexity to the ideas you wish to make. It draws readers to the idyllic life in the country, as much as the extravagant worlds in metropolitan areas. I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Finding My Writing

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2018

I encourage you to continue writing poems such as these that rationalise and energise the experience of being a writer. These kinds of poems are the most relevant to an audience like 'Write the World' whereby these emotive experiences you detail would be applicable to all readers. Overall, I believe you have constructed a strong response that is motivating and makes the reader want to explore new worlds and put pen to paper! I hope my feedback and insight is useful and look forward to seeing more your works published on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

A Concert of Senses

PROMPT: Without Sight

I noticed that you chose a unique free verse, single stanza structure to create this ever-moving style that is similar to a piece of music. This was interesting to see and allowed the poem to be experienced as a continuum. A suggestion I could offer would be to perhaps identify where stanza breaks could emerge throughout the poem. The reader can be able to absorb the contents of your subject matter in more manageable sections, as opposed to all in one go. An example could be your last two lines which would have immense impact if they were isolated as a stanza of their own. Feel free to have sentences head into new stanzas without ending on punctuation marks; poetry grants you the power to do that as an artistic choice. This is something you could attempt if you wish to revise this draft. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem and found mysef becoming involved in the intimate space and sharing the sensations of the persona. Your utilised techniques and control of language really immersed me in your poem and despite removing the sense of sight, there is still evocative description and articulation demonstrated. I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 1 year

Into the fog

PROMPT: Forward Backward

I have provided some suggestions in the annotations which you may take on board if you wish to revise this draft. Overall, your poem is a tightly knit and cohesive response to the prompt which demonstrates your ability to engage in planning, producing a fluid and captivating narrative of the fog. I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

winter is blue in colour

FREE WRITING

An audio recording of this poem would be amazing! I read this poem aloud and found many aural treasures in it that can be presented on this platform for fellow readers to listen to. You could do this by uploading an audio or even video recording to Google Drive, Youtube or Vimeo and publicly attaching a link in the footnotes to a reading you have done of it. If you go ahead with this, I would be very interested in hearing you perform it! I hope my feedback is helpful and I look forward to seeing more of your poetry on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Earth

PROMPT: Paint Swatch

The only suggestion I could offer other than the provided comments I have annotated would be to have another sentence in between the "Surely, it can't be..." and "It must be...earth" dialogues to inform your reader that you have come to a conclusion. Perhaps something as basic as "I realise an eternal truth", which could indirectly answer the thought you had "for a moment" earlier. Overall, there is something poetic with your writing that has allowed your response to this prompt to be as strongly articulated as it is. You brought Earth to its own, and yet provided enough detail to grant readers the capacity to envisage themselves what the colour looks like to them. I hope this feedback is helpful and once again, thank you for all the wonderful reviewing you do on the site. Keep it up and happy writing!

over 1 year

Dime a Dozen

PROMPT: Unplug

Your ending is witty and concludes your piece in a way that is similar to a "brb" which would be texted. I found this quite clever and reinforces the way social media is subsidiary in your lifestyle. Your online presence seems to be more formulated from sources of inspiration that you can gain, rather than indulging in personal validation that other platforms may perpetuate, something I admire. If you were looking to revise this draft, I would love to see you insert some personal and sensory details in the paragraph where you introduce your hobbies and the continuation of your life without social media. This could enhance the idea that social media may stray us from real life experiences and sensory engagement with the greater world, a consequence which you do not have to face as someone who is not as heavily invested in social media. What kind of music do you like to play? How many hours do you exercise in a week? What does the atmosphere feel like when you are outdoors? These are some questions I had about your personal life without social media and would love to hear answers for. I hope this review is helpful for you if you were looking for ways to continue investigating into the role of social media in your own life. I look forward to reading more of your reflections on WTW because you seem to have a very eventful and interesting life that I would love to share with you in your written works. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Wish

PROMPT: Paint Swatch

I would like to suggest for you to further expand on this platform of space, possibly with more astronomical allegories or using colours that correlate to the planets and other forces in the sky to give further depth and a multifaceted look to your colour. I find the length of the poem at a good position but would also be interested in seeing more development towards that final beautifully written line. Bringing in more of the space motif in your writing can achieve that. Overall, the space imagery you have formulated in your poetry is really moving and allows for the reader to experience the transcendence of the colour with your persona. The descriptions have translated your imaginary colour in a positive and magical way. I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW and wish you all the best. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Lapse

FREE WRITING

I would love to hear you perform this piece as a spoken word! I find that there is such a lovely aural pleasure to reading this poem and hearing the poet herself perform it could transform this piece into something even greater. You could consider Google Drive linking an audio or even a video recording to add to it! A suggestion I can offer is more of a word you could possible insert! I love the word "cusp"; it has a nice sound when it is pronounced and correlates well with the aural lightness of "lapse." If you look up the definition of the word, in case you haven't come across it, you might find it possible to integrate it somewhere or even have a new section with it included. That's an offer I have for you if you were looking for one! The themes of time's transience, solitude and the desire for metaphysical transcendence have been conveyed in simple and beautifully written lines. I hope this feedback is useful and well done on your peer reviews for WTW so far! Happy writing, Eshita!

over 1 year

Venice

PROMPT: The World Anew

Your reflection shows great insight into the cultural and social wonders of Venice. I love the way you have drawn from memories and details of the places you travelled to produce such an intimate and inviting piece of writing. A suggestion I could also offer would be to incorporate some passing thoughts you might remember having while you were at the city yourself. You could do this in italics to distinguish it from the rest of the writing and can add another layer of your commentary to the amazing environment you were able to visit. After reading this piece, I myself would aspire to travel to Venice some day! There seems to be immense beauty in its locations, architecture and people, factors which I find attractive in a place. I hope my feedback is helpful and look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Doll of A House

FREE WRITING

I love the stream of consciousness approach you have taken with this free writing piece. It shows the toxic flow of your character's thoughts and the way they pass subsequently of one another. If you were wishing you revise the draft, you could consider restructuring the story into different lengths of paragraphs. This can regulate a disjoint rhythm in your piece to reflect the character's jarring thoughts, whilst also allowing you to emphasise certain sentences that are strong to her. Overall, you have produced a very unique and thought-provoking piece that reflects contemporary concerns about gender and representations of it. I hope my feedback can assist you if you wish to further draft this piece and that you will continue to write about similar issues because you execute in a clever manner! I wish you all the best with your works and look forward to reading more of your writing on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

The Violinist

PROMPT: Quartet

Your short story is written in a light and friendly style that welcomes the reader. It is inviting and provides a possible stimulus for a future creative writing piece that extends on this character. I would be interested to read and learn more about this character you have created so far. Overall, I hope my feedback can assist you if you wish to revise this draft. I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Blush Tassel Keychain

FREE WRITING

The extensive similes create great interest and fluidity in your writing, enabling you to develop your persona in a tightly knit fashion. I love the way you have interwoven her thoughts with her actions through a third person perspective, allowing for a commentary on social attitudes towards what is considered healthy and beautiful and how society needs to emphasise more that it is entirely dependent on the person's physique themselves. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

The ocean creature

PROMPT: The Peace of Wild Things

I noticed an absence of punctuation marks in your poem which may have been a conscious choice. If so, it would be nice to hear back from you what the creative decision was behind it! However, I would suggest placing some punctuation marks at the end of certain lines to signal where your reader can pause and process your amazing descriptions with commas or hyphens. A full stop would be a nice way to end the poem as well, implying that the creature's moment has ended and that they really are "gone just as before." Overall, your poem condenses the surreal experience of discovering the beauty of nature and the way life on earth exists without the interruption of mankind effectively. I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW and wish you all the best with future drafts. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Catharsis

FREE WRITING

I love the unconventional choice of second person to write this story. It is particularly effective for me as a reader because I am a musician myself and the way you have constructed music in your writing resonates with my own understanding and emotional connection to music. The authenticity of your descriptions is derived from your subjective experiences and evidences your unique style of writing. I hope the suggestions provided are helpful if you aim to continue drafting. I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW and wish you all the best! Happy writing!

over 1 year

stuck in the sound

PROMPT: The Peace of Wild Things

Your Message to Readers really sold me and gave biographical clarity to your poem, allowing for it to have both significance to you as a poet and to the readers as a work which explores the idea of home and "the peace of wild things", as the prompt prescribes. I thoroughly enjoyed reading and reviewing this poem and look forward to seeing more of your poetry on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

sandwiched

FREE WRITING

On a literary basis, your poem makes great use of repetition, judiciously leaves punctuation only to the final question and interweaves the sandwich metaphor in a seamless way. I would be interested in seeing you manipulate with the sentences and possibly rearranging where you want enjambment to fall with certain lines. This can create emphasis or fluidity for the reader, something you can experiment with if you read the poem aloud. You could see where your natural voice rises and falls and, hence, where lines should start or end. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem and wish you all the best with your works on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

​Orange Blades of Grass

PROMPT: The Peace of Wild Things

Your poem draws from an unlikely aspect of nature in order to capture the marvel in even the most minute of details. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem and look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

The Melodious Medley of Life

PROMPT: Two Worlds

I hope my feedback is helpful and I wish you all the best with your future pieces. It was lovely getting to grab a snapshot of you in this reflection and I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Tea in the Sea

PROMPT: Given First Line

My feed-forward expands from the previous idea. For the longer story, I would recommend experimenting with paragraphing to create a structure that is unique to you and can facilitate the desired mood or atmosphere you are aiming to achieve. I have provided some suggestions on where you could start new paragraphs based on the shifts in tone or ideas but the decision is up to you as the writer how you would like your narrative to flow! Overall, you have began a strong extension of the given stimulus and have demonstrated a lovely rawness in your personal style. Your voice as a narrator really shines through in this piece! I hope my feedback is useful and I wish you all the best with this draft. Happy writing!

over 1 year

In the Door of a Taxi Cab

PROMPT: Quartet

It would be interesting to see any of these details built on in a short story! They have set strong foundations for characterisation and a formidable protagonist. I wish you all the best and look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Drummer Boy

FREE WRITING

I noticed an absence of punctuation in your poem which may have been intentional. A suggestion I can offer if you wished to revise this draft is to consider what punctuation marks you could use to enhance the delivery of your poetry to the reader. Considering the uses of ellipses, commas, full stops or hyphens to generate pauses and opportunities for the reader to process the motion of your poem can dramatically change the way it appears, as well as it is received. I hope my feedback is helpful if you wish to continue drafting this poem. I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Blurred Corners

PROMPT: No Pause for Breath

A suggestion I could offer would be to take more risks with the punctuation you have chosen. I would love to see some hyphens or ellipses which can serve similar, but also vastly different, purposes to the commas you have situated. In having this variety, you can regulate the rhythm of your poetry in a new way and emphasise meanings gained from different lines. Otherwise, I found this a lovely read and look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Abandoned

PROMPT: Six-Word Story

I love the ellipses you have placed in the sentence! It shows how you have thought beyond the confines of the 6 word limitation and used punctuation to enhance the intensity of your story. I strongly recommend you continue to use punctuation to your advantage even for longer works in the future. I look forward to reading more of your work on WTW and wish you happy writing!

over 1 year

Why Do People Look Up At The Stars And Wish?

PROMPT: A History of Everything

In reading your story, I was able to gain a better understanding of our primeval instinct to turn to the cosmos when in doubt or in searching for answers. I love the way you have taken the grandness of the universe and the minutiae of it within the human spirit in writing your response to this prompt. I hope my feedback is helpful and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Just a Few That I Thought Of

PROMPT: Five Beginnings

I would be interested to read these beginnings with full length short stories. They can serve as a great stimuli for future reference in your writing planning and development. I hope my interpretations of your beginnings can offer some ideas on where you could take them but otherwise, I would love to know how you intend to use these beyond the prompt. I look forward to reading more of your pieces on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Bulletproof

PROMPT: Word

The writer has transformed the definition of "bulletproof" in an empowering manner that reflects on its ability to give strength in our lives. I have placed some areas for grammatical and punctuational revision which you can correct me if I am wrong for any of them. I hope my feedback is helpful and I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Petrichor

PROMPT: Word

You were able to sustain a raw attraction to the movement of the environment in your home country and the changing seasons. I was able to gain a great insight into your culture and how it has been shaped by the world you inhabit. I hope this feedback assists you if you are continuing this draft and I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Statistics of my life

PROMPT: Subtotals

I love the contrast of your statistics and how you reveal the importance of connotations in your listing. Slight changes in words could mean dramatic changes in numbers and this was a clever way of framing the significance perspective has when we reflect on our lives. A suggestion I have could possibly be to shuffle the order of some of your paragraphs, as opposed to your lines. I would be interested in seeing the paragraphs moved around or put in an order that looks initially at your more concrete details to your more personal statistics. This is already done quite well and I would only encourage you to experiment with the structure if you were looking to revise this draft. You could see how the different order of statistics can impact the way they are received. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this snapshot into who you are and I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Puff, Hiss, Boom.

PROMPT: Science Fiction Competition 2018

The "No break. No pause." refrain has been developed strongly in your story. I can see a progression in your plot with this acting almost as a fixed checkpoint. It works incredibly well in stabilising your story and directing it. Perhaps consider putting these in italics as well to match the initial sentence at the beginning. You can identify it as a thematic idea that recurs easily for your reader! I hope this feedback assists you in this competition and I wish you all the best with it. I look forward to seeing the final draft! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Without You

PROMPT: Missing “E”

I hope my suggestions were useful and that you can take something on board if you wished to revise this draft. Overall, I found it a very pleasurable read as it allows readers to reflect on human connections and relationships that have come and gone. I think this was powerfully done and I look forward to seeing what else you have to offer on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

She

FREE WRITING

The rhyme scheme you have employed provides an intricacy to your poem which works effectively! They flow into one another well and establish a sense of rhythm for the reader. One thing you could consider if you wanted any suggestions for revision would be just to add some punctuation marks in. You can use commas, full stops and hyphens for varied pauses throughout your poem and exclamation marks to emphasise certain lines (such as "Be careful of her ferocious half!"). They can assist in the delivery of your poem, especially if the reader is reading them out loud.

over 1 year

Tag Tardiness Recklessness Criminals Defiance

PROMPT: Five Beginnings

I have provided some suggestions for grammatical revision if you wished to return to this draft or if you wanted to develop any of these into your own prompts. I found it clever how these story beginnings are almost part of this overarching story you have written in this piece. I would almost expect them to collide and link together if this was developed further. Overall, your story beginnings have an engaging quality to them and show little glimpses into different characters that I would definitely be interested in reading about. I hope my feedback is useful if you are thinking of returning to this draft. I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW and wish you the best! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Why You Should Care About LED Grow Lights

FREE WRITING

This report has great interplay between factual information and explanation. With an informational writing piece such as this, I would suggest citing your sources in the footnotes. Providing a bibliography of where your research originates from and your ideas have been expanded from is a really important part of credible writing. It was great to see you provide a link for one of the sources and I would definitely encourage you providing more research in your writing. It also gives your reader opportunities to read more about the topic you have written about and immerse in it as much as you have. Overall, I was highly informed and interested in your discussion about this topic and the prospects of LED lights in the near future for science and agriculture. I have provided some suggestions for you but feel free to take what you think is most useful to you! I look forward to seeing more of your insights on WTW and wish you all the best. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Snake Scale

PROMPT: Paint Swatch

I love the way you have brought the object's colour to surface with excitement. The descriptions you have provided are evocative and informative of what your colour resembles, making it easy to subjectively associate with. I would definitely suggest turning this prompt into a poem somehow because I think it has potential to being a template for a really strong descriptive poetry piece! I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW and wish you all the best! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Colors to the Sightless

FREE WRITING

I can definitely see this being extended further into a suite of poems in greater detail and elaboration. The descriptions you have provided can serve as templates for further creative writing pieces so I think this is a very clever idea! I noticed that you capitalised certain words which I believe was an intentional choice. I do believe that it can disrupt the flow of the words themselves, as opposed to how well your stanzas flow into one another. A suggestion I have would be to use bold or italics font to highlight certain connotations that matter most to you and that way, you can still bring them out but give a degree of variety in your writing. This is entirely up to you though so feel free to disregard this if you disagree! I would love to know why you chose to capitalise them too. Overall, I hope my feedback is helpful but your writing is developed strongly and has a personal touch to it that makes it very compelling. I wish you all the best with your writing on this platform and look forward to seeing more from you. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Pretty!

FREE WRITING

The poem has an impeccable resemblance to the work of Kathy Acker, whom is one of my favourite feminist writers. I loved the honesty and almost satirical nature of your tone which brings questions about identity and gender to surface for the reader. I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW and hope to see more of your craft! Happy writing!

over 1 year

On the Phone

PROMPT: The American Sentence

I love the absence of a personal pronoun, which makes this American Sentence more universal. You did a great job at keeping the sentence simple and yet still with enough capacity for the reader to generate multiple meanings from it. Putting the original stimulus that catalysed your own poem in the footnotes was very helpful and I would definitely encourage you to continue doing this in future pieces as sensible writing practice! I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Stockholm

FREE WRITING

In responding what I think this poem is about, I initially associated the title with Stockholm Syndrome and as I progressively immersed in it, I started see it more. I hope this is what you intended to convey in your poem because that was how I primarily interpreted it. This was a thought-provoking read that critically engages with the attitudes that prevail in modern love. I look forward to reading more of your work on WTW and wish you all the best with your poetic craft. Happy writing!

over 1 year

The Normandy's Arrival

PROMPT: Given First Line

Overall, this short story was a lovely snapshot of naval life and gave the reader an evocative experience from the protagonist's perspective and voice. I hope this feedback helps and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Fusion

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2018

As an Vietnamese-Australian, this reflection hits home with me because I can certainly relate to the way cultures fuse in my own home. Your reflection serves its audience quite well; to immigrant-background readers or whom have parents which these backgrounds being able to understand the fusions of foods in their daily life, as well as being an educational source of how food can be more than something we eat, but as something we should appreciate as a result of historical struggles won for us. I hope my feedback will assist you in further drafting if you wish to and I wish you all the best with your future writing pieces on this platform. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Zoom

PROMPT: Zoom In

I love the freedom of writing and poetry offers an avenue to be free with how you express your deepest connections, especially to places that still resonate within you. This poem demonstrates the effectiveness of harnessing poetry to do exactly this! I noticed a limited use of punctuation in your poem until the end with the ellipses. I found this quite clever in that it shows your continual zooming out but the prompt's requirement is to consider zooming in instead. A suggestion I have would be to rearrange your poem from the end to the beginning and flipping it around. That way, you can retain the contents of it but still pull off the zooming in from "far beneath", all the way into the tiny detail of a "flower petal is torn from its moorings..." Adhering to the prompt is important but you could always feel free to republish this poem like this as a piece of free writing or even as part of the "No Pause For A Breath" prompt if you have not submitted anything yet! That prompt definitely suits the way you have written your poem (you would have to remove the commas though) and can be another place to publish this poem if you wished to rewrite this poem with the sentence order shuffled to better suit this particular prompt. I hope this feedback can assist you if you wish to continue drafting this piece. Have a great day and happy writing!

over 1 year

Willow

FREE WRITING

The extended personification of the willow was able to allow the reader to really empathise and connect with it, something that reflects poetry of the Romantics- being able to see aspects of the human condition in an admiration for nature. I would love to see you expand on this poem. It is nicely condensed and delivers strong emotional impact but I would be interested to see a possible exploration of the willow's character and descriptions of her to further enhance the melancholy tone of your poem. This is just a suggestion though so feel free to keep it as it is because I think it is quite beautiful as it is already! I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW and wish you all the best with your work. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Return me to the Cradle

FREE WRITING

There is an awareness of balance in your poem, with two stanzas for each of the stages of life and death, that allows for you to effectively communicate the two ideas in equal weighting before a poignant address dedicated to Childhood at the end. The poem is a demonstration of extensive planning and creative purging which is thought-provoking. I strongly encourage you to continue developing your poetic craft in a similar manner and with your engaging voice as a writer. I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW and wish you all the best with your contributions to the platform. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Mean

PROMPT: 25 Words

The voice of your persona is consistent and remains powerful until that final line of vulnerability. This contrast was executed in an engaging way and sheds light on the reality that there are many regrets we all have but our own pride often overrides our desire to truly make amends. The persona in your poetic story hybrid is fascinating in that aspect. This was a pleasure to read and I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

River Ride

FREE WRITING

There's a lovely fluidity in this poem that resembles the "River Ride" you have invited the reader on. Its movement is seamless and engages the reader in your landscape. I have provided some suggestions in the annotations but otherwise, I love the poem's simplicity and exploration of your chosen subject matter. I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW and wish you all the best. Happy writing!

over 1 year

The Polopat Turtle's Top Hat

PROMPT: The Limerick

A very minor detail but I noticed that you didn't use any punctuation. I'm not sure if this was intentional; if it was, I'd love to hear the reason why behind it and if not, that's potentially something you could consider if you want to revise this draft. Overall, your limerick is fun and unique which is exactly as the prompt intended it to be. I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

A Sweet Burning

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2018

I think there's some lovely imagery and sensory details being explored in this piece already. I have a few suggestions that you could take on board if you wished to continue drafting the work with fresh feedback. While your reflection focuses on smell specifically, I would suggest looking at synonyms for scent or smell to colour some of your descriptions more. Examples could be "the smokey waft of a crackling fire" or "the unique fragrance of mothballs" which add a poetic touch to your chosen smells. You could also look for adjectives to further enhance your descriptions and provide them a new depth to be visualised in your reader's mind. This not only shows an expansive vocabulary, but also a command, and control, of language. I would also love to see you experiment further with structure. Your response is currently short and sweet, which gives you the great opportunity to consider form manipulation and playing around with paragraphs, one sentence paragraphs and using italics/bold to emphasise key aspects of your writing. You can engage your reader visually with these simple alterations. It would be amazing to see your response expand to the prescribed word count bracket but this is how you could develop on your existing piece if you wanted to keep it as it is. Overall, this is a heartwarming and intriguing piece that I would love to see a final draft for this competition. I hope this feedback will assist you and wish you all the best with your entry. Happy writing!

over 1 year

[ Insert Appropriate Title here ]

FREE WRITING

Your use of contrast is incredibly effective and creates a great rise and fall in your ideas within each stanza. They are distinguished well with your punctuation and overall, explores the complex issue of technology becoming a substitution for social interactions. I feel a sense of concern for the impact of technology and how it detracts us from having raw human connections, but also a desire to rectify my own practices with technology by seeking out real sensations of joy and adrenaline. Keep up the great work and always revise your drafts in case you find some new ideas that might reshape them. I look forward to seeing what other interesting ideas you have to share in your works on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Escape

PROMPT: Turned to Stone

I have provided some suggestions on where you could consider revising if you wished to continue drafting this piece. I would love to see you publish this as a full length short story as another piece if you were considering to expand on it as well! It already makes such a great introduction to a potential mystery thriller and I would be interested to see where you could take it. Overall, well done on a really well written piece and I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

No longer hiding

FREE WRITING

In the annotations, I have provided you with some corrections for grammar and punctuation, as well as some suggestions for expanding your piece if you wished to continue drafting it. I was really nitpicky with a few things but remember to write formally when publishing works because it is just good writer's practice to edit over and make sure the work is written for an appropriate audience. I actually could envision this almost as a prose poem and would love to see you expand on it possibly with some imagery, descriptive language, sensory details and colours. The thoughts of your protagonist/persona are really engaging and articulated well; these would be great additions to elevate the quality of your character's experience. Overall, your piece has a strong base in which you could build an even stronger piece from and I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW. Thank you for the comment on my poem and I'm glad I found your work! I'm excited to see what is in stall for you on this site. Happy writing!

over 1 year

His Life

PROMPT: Tweet-Tales

The ambiguity of the story is its greatest strength, provoking questions in itself and the story being the answer. It provides only a snapshot of your character's life but in a rather intense point which leaves much to the reader to wonder. My suggestion is now how you articulate it. I find it quite great that you have used one sentence and managed to condense it all in one go but with a prompt like this, I would suggest having multiple shorter sentences that have periods for pauses. This way, your reader can process what is happening, minimalise the use of conjunctions with "and" occurring twice, and each sentence has the same level of impact. For example, you could rephrase it as this; "He lived a life strapped to a bed. Tubes winded through his nose and his mouth. A box continuously hummed, breathing life into him." It essentially maintains the central concept but does it in a way that is easier for the reader to take in. This is just a suggestion though so it is ultimately up to you! Overall, I think this is a brilliant response to a very demanding prompt and addresses the criteria in an invigorating, succinct manner. I look forward to reading more of your work on WTW and wish you all the best. Happy writing!

over 1 year

SNOW

PROMPT: In The End

Overall, your story was a pleasurable read and is an excellent response to the prompt. I would love to see this being made into a longer story if you wanted to expand further on it with my feedback. As suggested in the annotations, there are ways you could cut this down to make sure it fits in the word limit of this flash fiction prompt but otherwise, it was a lovely response that demonstrates great characterisation and use of dialogue. I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW and wish you luck with the drafting of this story. Happy writing!

over 1 year

la rochelle

PROMPT: Place Poem

Your observations show an attention to detail not only in how you view the world, but how you represent it in your writing with fluidity and clarity. I love the specific examples you have chosen that capture microcosms of your elected place and bring an element of magic to La Rochelle. This poem reminds me of one of my favourite Australian poems 'Late Ferry' by Robert Gray. I'd definitely suggest you reading it because I see some amazing links and it could spark further ideas for your poetry in the future. Your descriptions are evocative to his level and I would encourage you to continue exploring places to inspire your poetry. Overall, this was a very pleasurable read that was tightly written and beautifully articulated. I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW and wish you all the best with your continued poetic craft. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Two Sides of the Same World

PROMPT: It’s Your Life

With a piece as short as this, you could consider manipulating with the form of your story to emphasise certain sentences with one sentence paragraphs or using different font to add to the way your story flows. Visual engagement with a strong creative writing such as this will enhance the experience for the reader even further. Overall, this is a captivating short story that is a reflection of your ability to recognise what is special to your own life and see it as a point of strength. I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 1 year

Toxic

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2018

I love the anaphora with "each..." which establishes a subtle repetition across the lines. I found it effective how you managed to amplify the movements and gestures of the persona this way. There are some genius moments in your poem and I love to see its final form with some drafting until the competition deadline. I wish you all the best, hopefully with my feedback to assist you in some way, and good luck! Happy writing!

over 1 year

The Warmth of this Embrace

PROMPT: Refuge

This response is a lovely combination between a definition and an emotional journey of a story. I love how you were able to convey the experiences of many refugees in a way that is both personal and universal in nature. I look forward to reading more of your work on WTW and wish you luck with your future pieces! Happy writing!

over 1 year

The Naked Truth

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2018

Your op-ed is well-articulated with appropriate references and examples of where your case lies. There is brevity in your writing and strength in your argument which breathes a huge impact on the reader living in the 21st century. A documentary which I would recommend as a great resource you could quote from and use as a reference is 'Killing Us Softly 4 Advertising's Image of Women' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyrfWd1eKAs). It's a brilliant critique of gender advertising overall but there are very strong links to sexualisation and objectification of women. I hope this review assists you and I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Gun Control

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2018

In ensuring your response has a greater degree of technical refinement, I would advise simple editing of your draft including rewriting your contractions out to make sure you maximise the formality of your writing. As an opinion piece, there is freedom for you to express as you would but treating this work almost as an essay will sustain a sophistication in it. If you are having trouble with where else to go, I would suggest revising the Guiding Ideas provided with this prompt that might spark some more investigation into your area of interest. Most of my feedback was framed around them, as well as from my own experiences with opinion-based writing, and you could possibly look at other examples of strong opinion-based works. Editorials or essays are great avenues to explore if you want to adopt similar styles of writing when revising the draft. Overall, your op-ed is coming along well and has demonstrated you as a writer and as an observant advocate for change in your own society. I admire how you have tackled this topic and look forward to seeing your final entry into the competition. I hope my feedback can assist you in whatever ways you may find value in it and good luck! Happy writing!

almost 2 years

Breve

PROMPT: Imagine This

Your last sentence delivers the most impact and is written with clarity and lovely expression. If you wished to revise your draft, the style of writing which you could consider adopting is one similar to that last sentence. It particularly stood out for me not only because it demonstrates your sophistication as a writer, but also in how it evokes strongly from music. Your writing has a great plain-spoken quality to it and you could alternate between a simplistic narrator voice with a more passion-infused sentence such as that here and there. Overall, your creative response derives its essence well clearly from the prompt and shows an admiration for human connections formed from an escape into each others' musical worlds. I hope my feedback can assist you and I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

almost 2 years

Green Electricity

PROMPT: Intersection

I'm not sure if this was a conscious choice but if you were looking at ways to restructure your draft, you could consider where stanza breaks can be established. Your poem is coherent and flows well which leaves you some creative opportunities to split it into different shifts of mood to emphasise them more. Particularly with the line "No, I look to the buildings far outside," there is a change in subject matter so you could potentially consider putting one there. You could also consider having lines on their own to really highlight their impact. Another suggestion I have would be to look at where punctuation can be revised. In poetry, you can look at using hyphens or ellipses to explore new effects that can be created from less conventional punctuation marks. These structural matters could visually stimulate your reader and help them engage in the poem as an experience. Overall though, your poem reflects the premises of the prompt well and explores the natural world in a refreshing manner. I look forward to seeing more of your drafts on WTW and hope this feedback helps. Happy writing!

almost 2 years

A Matter of Tempo

PROMPT: Walking

With a shorter work such as this, I would suggest dividing it into key paragraphs to show where placement of ideas have been arranged and structured. Placing "But that's not the case here." as a new paragraph, for example, could emphasise that particular sentence and introduce the new character accordingly. Experimenting with where you could break up your story into pieces can provide the reader with an equally wholesome experience of its ideas. I would also advise more dimension to be explored with the character's walking. How does it interplay with the other senses such as touch, smell or taste? Sound and sight are addressed well by your narrator and integrating more sensory imagery can bring a new depth to your character's style of walking. Overall, I loved the way you have responded to the prompt, shaping your characterisation around the way in which your character walks. It reveals an excellent ability to articulate your own observations of people and their habits and would be strongly encouraged to pursue in your future writing when describing characters. I hope this feedback receives you well and I look forward to seeing more of your drafts on WTW! Happy writing!

almost 2 years

30 mph

PROMPT: The Rule of Home

The second person narration, though unconventional, surely brings out a sense of intrusion on the reader; for being so quick to dismiss a town without knowing the very bits that make it homely. This is a confronting but meaningful way of conveying this message and shows the persona to be quite proud of where they come from, despite disappointed that the fleetingness of the town often overrides that. I'm not sure if the omission of punctuation was a deliberate choice because it does create a great sense of flow. I would, however, suggest placing some more definite punctuation marks such as periods or hyphens to disrupt or allow the reader to contemplate. Experimenting with where different punctuation indications can fall may change the effect a line has, but could also enhance in a way you wouldn't expect. You could also break your poem into stanzas to create different impacts, as that "just like that" line did for me. In a shorter reflection such as this, there is much flexibility for you to structure your piece in a way that is potent both visually and in content. Overall, this poem has a well-executed premise and explores key notions of transience, appreciation and retrospection. I hope my suggestions are useful in your future drafting processes for this piece and I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW. Happy writing!

almost 2 years

​Soldier Queen

PROMPT: Walking

This was a well-defined and developed response to the Walking prompt that explores how our travels reflect who we are. Your grammar and punctuation could be fine tuned to enhance the technicality of your piece and clarify certain areas but aside from that, there is really strong writing demonstrated in this description. Your approach to the prompt is one with creativity and intense representation. I would also suggest considering to explore other sensory details in your piece as I have noticed that texture and visuals are where your descriptions mainly form from. Consider exploring taste and scent more in depth and interweaving them within your description to create dimension to an already intricate piece. I hope my review can assist you in developing your piece and I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW. Happy writing!

almost 2 years

Train Station

PROMPT: Friendship Tweet

I have highlighted some feedback on your piece with places I think you could revise just to fix the technical parts of your writing, as well as indicated the impact your sentences have had on me as a reader. I hope these annotations can encourage you to continue drafting this piece with another suggestion you could possibly take. You could consider making each sentence a paragraph on their own or play with your structure. With a shorter piece like this, the visual structure of your writing can be effective in drawing the reader in. This also helps to create flow in different ways so if you are looking for ways to experiment with it, I would suggest structure to enhance an already well-developed piece of writing. Well done on a concise but nevertheless powerful piece. I enjoyed reviewing it and hope to see more of your works soon on WTW. Happy writing and good luck!

almost 2 years

little

PROMPT: The Rule of Home

I have highlighted key parts of your creative that really stand out and deliver great impact on the reader, as well as minor grammatical areas you could fine tune. I hope these encourage you to look at your piece with pride and continue to draft it to a point of refinement. In a shorter reflection such as this, there is also much opportunity for you as a writer to explore form and manipulate the structure of your description. I would suggest you experiment with where you could break the piece into paragraphs, from one-sentence paragraphs to a more intense packed description in one go. This allows the audience to be visually engaged with your creative writing subsequently and could deliver new layers of meaning depending on where you choose to separate sentences. Overall, your description defines the intricacies of a home and its physical, and emotional, value for the individual. I enjoyed reading this creative writing piece and look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

almost 2 years

Love After All

PROMPT: In The End

The confessional take you have adopted in this story has a strong first person narration and really allows the reader to grasp onto the protagonist's experiences. I also want to commend on writing exactly 199 words (yes, I checked it)! Your piece meets all the criteria for this prompt and still delivers a story that is sweet and engaging in the short span it has and once again, brings the final line in a new light. I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW and hope the feedback is helpful. Happy writing!

over 1 year

Sui Generis

FREE WRITING

The strengths in your poem are evident across many aspects, notably through your literary exploration. Your intertextuality of Greek myths and legends provided a new level of complexity and interest that was interwoven quite effortlessly throughout the poem. These allusions were clever and gave the reader frames of reference to your intensely emotional and evocative poem. Furthermore, your balance of metaphors, similes and other imagery crafted a poem of intense passion and admiration for your subject. This was captivating for me as a reader and kept me on board throughout it. In revising this draft, I would suggest just having an edit over the little bits that I highlighted. Your concept, poetic voice, subject matter and tone have all been well developed- correcting minor grammar/word inconsistencies will improve the quality and technicality of an already strong poem. I am a firm advocate for editing and would recommend it to fine tune and refine your piece. I would also suggest experimenting with punctuation; I noticed you didn't employ any at all but this might have been a conscious choice. With a poem which follows a solid quatrain structure with a consistent flow and pulse, having something as small as a comma, full stop or exclamation mark can elicit a new kind of impact that you may like for your poem. You could consider where you could place punctuation marks to deliver new meanings for your reader. These are all my recommendations but ultimately, it is your poem and I enjoyed reviewing this piece which not only honed into my fascination with history and mythology, but also my love for love and romance. This amalgamation made your piece memorable and effective and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

almost 2 years

The Writer

FREE WRITING

This poem was constructed with consideration for mood, tone and perspective, essential elements in a strong piece of writing. Your contrasting perceptions on writing and observations of a writer's habits unite the experiences of many individuals into one joy we all share. The motion of the poem was paced well and demonstrated your keenness to replicate the universals of being a writer. In revising your poem, I would suggest to possibly experiment with unconventional ways of expression, notably with punctuation. I'm not sure if this was a conscious choice but I noticed there was not much use of punctuation other than for the questions you asked the reader. I would suggest if you wanted to revise this draft to place punctuation at the end of certain lines to see what kind of effect you could get out of them. Experimenting with this could lead to some innovative ways of visually representing your poem's ideas. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reviewing your poem and look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW. Happy writing!

almost 2 years

A Short-Lived Romance

PROMPT: Love in 13 Words

This poignant flash fiction love story is one of which captures the "short-lived" nature of many failed relationships. It is these relationships that we mourn most and this was beautifully explored in a concise and yet powerful manner. The syntax of your sentences are clever as they visually are "short-lived" too and I found this really engaging. I also like the balance created between literal and figurative memories, from sharing "whiskey" to "chaos." This established a stronger imagery for the reader and brought colour to your romantic story, one of which has tangible mementos and emotional associations. A suggestion I would have would be to consider transforming this story of yours into a poetic form. The short, punctual syntax within your story could easily be manipulated into a poem with grouped stanzas or one-line stanzas. This could indicate where the shifts in mood fall and allow for other features such as a climax to be achieved. With such a small snapshot, you could definitely experiment further with ways to structurally reflect the gradual tension of the story. I hope this feedback can give you some direction should you wish to revise this draft and I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW. Happy writing!

almost 2 years

物の哀れ

FREE WRITING

I have provided some suggestions which may be useful for you if you are thinking of continuing to draft this poem but otherwise, I think your articulation is strong and delivers a great impact on the reader. The reader's engagement becomes more prevalent as it approaches the end and before they know it, it is the reader who is left questioning the transience of time and experiences. This was conveyed in a powerful and nuanced manner. The anaphora of "wistful" is particularly effective as it captures a loose, but nevertheless complex, English counterpart to your chosen word. In these unfurling descriptions and imagery, you have conveyed the varying marvels of transience and ironically, combated it by preserving these fleeting experiences in poetic craft. I would love to see what else you could possibly do to add to it, as well as hoping to come across another one of your creative writing pieces on WTW soon. Happy writing!

almost 2 years

in january

PROMPT: “In January”

This poem creates a brilliant universal that we all experience in the first month of a new year. The writer has chosen really lovely language to articulate this and I would love to see you revise the draft and explore ways to manipulate its form or structure to give it some interesting flair. I look forward to reading more of your work on WTW. Happy writing!

almost 2 years

Cold

FREE WRITING

The poem has a friendly simplicity to it that makes it easy to read and understand. It engages the reader with its imagery and condensed stanzas which are inviting. My suggestion would be to further expand on this to create a more vivid atmosphere for the reader and aid them in visualising and connecting with the poem. I also like the way it is structured that gives it an asymmetrical but cohesive appearance and strongly encourage you to pursue similar models in future poems. Overall, I enjoyed reading your poem and hope to see more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

about 2 years

Blue Room

FREE WRITING

This story has an overarching aura of nostalgia as the character looks at the room with longing and an urge to understand it. I found that the story was well paced and its simplicity made it easy to read and form imagery from. I have provided some feedback in the annotations if you were looking for any suggestions to further draft this story. A key suggestion I have is to experiment with the structure of your story. As it is a shorter one, figure out where paragraphs could go or one-sentence paragraphs can stand alone to deliver impact and emphasise the significance of that sentence. "The room was small but so were we" is an excellent example of where you could have a one sentence paragraph; it leaves lingering feelings and prompts questions in the reader! Furthermore, your actions and descriptions jump quite quickly between each other. You could revise it so that it flows and has more consistency. A way you could do this would be to link different parts of the rooms together and relate them to one another, rather than describing them individually. Overall, your story is well into development and has potential to be a snapshot into a greater novel if you wanted to expand on it. It has a great premise and is communicated with fluid language. Your grammar and punctuation was essentially refined so I enjoyed only having to look at where ideas could be elaborated upon. I hope this review assists you well and I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW. Happy writing!

about 2 years

Butterfly Migration

FREE WRITING

I love the couplets and the rhyming structure because it helped me pace myself and maintains a poetic nature to it. The way you wrote the song in italics helped me distinguish it from the rest of the poem and I encourage you to continue doing this in future pieces of writing. The speech-like quality of the poem resonates within the reader and connects with them which I believe you should be commended for. A suggestion I have if you were looking for one would be to experiment with the structure of your poem. The couplets indicate a relationship between the two lines and you could enhance this with stanzas for each couplet, or every two couplets, for example. You could also have one bigger stanza for the first section and have the song as its own stanza with the final couplet as its own stanza. There are endless possibilities to manipulate with the structure to deliver a visually interesting poem. To conclude, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem and found it moving with its message. I hope my feedback will be useful and support you in your future pieces of writing. All the best and happy writing!

about 2 years

Lonely Flower

FREE WRITING

The poem is a unique take upon the acrostic poem structure and condenses a great amount of meaning in only three stanzas. Your enjambment was calculated and, therefore, effective to emphasise the important parts of your poem. This kept me engaged and continuously constructing vivid imagery to the very last line which shows precision and great pacing in your poem. This piece reminds me very much of poet Ezra Pound's works so if you were interested in exploring more of nature and short poetry, he is a great influential figure that you could look into. It particularly reminds me of his poem "Fan piece, for her Imperial Lord" with its nihilistic and yet evocative ideas. Overall, I was impressed by your judicious use of language, literary forms and features and how they have been interwoven to produce a minimalist, whilst still being, moving poem. The delicacy and refinement of your poem has shown your control of your writing exceptionally and I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW. Happy writing!

about 2 years

Wish I'd Done More

FREE WRITING

This short story provides a nice insight into a character of whom I have developed an intimate understanding of through your pacing, actions and plot development. Its simplicity is what sustains it and keeps the reader engaged throughout it. I love the way it develops from the title and grows to become a piece with its own colours and ideas. A suggestion I have with shorter pieces of writing such as this is to play with structure; experiment with where you have have one sentence paragraphs or to have sudden and abrupt shifts in form. This creates interest in your story without taking away the narrative itself by exploring mood in a controlled manner. I also would encourage you to employ more sensory imagery particularly with the cafe environment. When we fall in love, we see things in a heightened vision; you can explore this with describing the cafe and how the lady changed how the protagonist's world. They could become more aware of their tastes (as mentioned with the hot chocolate) or they could be intrigued by the way she stood out from everyone else. The story began with a lovely description and expanding on it would strengthen your writing further. Overall, this was a great read that was simple and yet complex. It explores human nature and our tendency to yearn in unlikely circumstances and I believe that you have achieved this to a great extent. I hope to see more of your work on WTW and that my feedback was useful. Have a nice day and happy writing!

about 2 years

The Downfall of the Millennials

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2017

Some general remarks I have will be in terms of the following; The second paragraph is significantly longer than the rest which indicates that you could work on balancing your structure better. Divide that paragraph into two, more concise ones to guide your reader and present your ideas through a distinctive, sophisticated format. Your ideas also tend to jump around without real resolution; the aim should be to present a point, explain how it has caused the downfall of millennials and why it should be resolved. Some of your sentences did not do this as effectively as they could have and I suggest you revise this to improve your articulation. I really like some of the sentences you have written that really encapsulate your idea and demonstrate the critical thinking you have placed within constructing your argument. I strongly encourage you to pursue those sentences and to elaborate on these ideas to produce refreshing perspectives and interpretations upon your world. Ways you could make your piece more credible if you were interested would be to use statistics or quotes from other sources. Your connection to the Allegory of the Cave was a fantastic way to illustrating your point further and I would advise you to continue finding other people or ideas that coincide with yours. Strengthening your arguments through this will be useful for other persuasive forms of writing. I hope my feedback is able to help you develop your response and that you have a lovely day. I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

about 2 years

Autumn Leaves

PROMPT: Slow Seeing

I found it clever that you chose to approach this prompt with a poetic structure to condense your observations into key discoveries. It kept your writing concise and engaging which is essential when it comes to writing descriptions about nature. I also like how it subtly references to how we evoke feelings from the natural world and the environment but more importantly, how it urges us to describe what we see and recreate its substance for our readers. It was beautifully achieved with your poem and I absolutely loved reading it. I wish you all the best with your writing and look forward to reading more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Insist

PROMPT: Dictionary Title

I love the use of anaphora with the "He would insist" to start all the sentences in the first paragraph. It establishes the premise of the flash fiction well and juxtaposes against your protagonist's thoughts appropriately. Your style is well-developed and sophisticated and I found it clever that you used repetition of your dictionary word to extract different perspectives upon insisting; from something romantic and chivalrous, to demanding. I absolutely enjoyed reviewing your flash fiction and wish you all the best with your writing endeavours on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Pyro Lovers

PROMPT: Writing Small

This is an incredibly well executed flash fiction and you should be very proud of yourself if this is your first one! I found your story unique with how it incorporated the matchstick as an extended metaphor. The piece is unified because of this and you have been able to craft a specific mood with the provided stimulus that really demonstrates your writing style. A tip I have with flash fiction is experimenting with form. Since you are limited to only using so many words, I would advise you to possibly manipulate the sentences by seeing which ones are effective standing alone as their own paragraphs and which ones are connected. For example, your first sentence could stand as a paragraph alone, your second and third in their own, and your last sentence on its own. It distinctively separates them into three sections and key moments in your flash fiction, creating a fluid narrative whilst physically leaving gaps for your reader to fill in. This is especially important in flash fiction writing and I found it impressive how you have managed to say just enough in the prescribed word limit to give me room to interpret its meaning. You could structurally represent this with my advice! Of course you aren't inclined to take it; I offer suggestions so that if you wish to revise your piece, you will notice that one tiny decision could change the overall nature of your writing. It is up to you in the end as the writer to evaluate what you have done well and what you could continue to work with! Overall, I believe that you have approached this prompt with creativity and have produced a thoughtful piece of flash fiction. I encourage you to further write short, quick pieces of writing to always keep you inspired and refining yourself, whilst potentially creating prompts that might manifest themselves into longer creative writings! I hope my feedback helps and I look forward to reading more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Duty Free

PROMPT: Not Me

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story that demonstrates your writing style, one of which has clarity and precision. The story is paced well and balances between descriptions and actions appropriately to produce a coherent piece of creative writing. I wish you all the best with future writing piece and look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Cactus

PROMPT: Returning

The piece is one of clarity and its simplicity is what essentially makes it as enchanting as it is. You were most successful in deconstructing the "Returning" notion in this prompt and producing a piece that extracts the bare necessities of this concept. I was drawn into it from the beginning and left it without disappointment of what I went into. I noticed that your sentences generally began with "I *insert verb." A suggestion I have would be to avoid telling the reader what your protagonist is doing and try to show them by giving these verbs to your settings instead. For example, "Sunny days were passed playing tag or dancing to music only children could hear, looped around washing poles" could be a way you could rearrange the sentence so that it is not always you telling the reader what you are doing. It also strengthens your descriptions and brings action into them. I have provided many suggestions for you in the piece but it is up to you in the end if you wish to take them on board. My only major reason for providing them is to encourage you to continue drafting your reflection and let it evolve into something entirely new, but equally as wonderful as this. I hope this feedback is useful to an extent and I look forward to seeing more of your works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Maggie Magnolia

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2017

What impressed me the most was the manipulation of your story into what seems to be a lovely amalgamation of a prose paragraph and a poem. Its structure was one that enhanced the effectiveness of certain sentences and is worth commending. I also appreciated how you have utilised the bold and italic functions that WTW has in your story to highlight key messages that you wish to bring to the attention of the reader. I was overall captivated by your flash fiction piece that has great merit to it and how well it reflects you as an emerging writer. I wish you the best with the competition and look forward to reading more of your work on WTW in the future. Happy writing!

over 2 years

what a mess

PROMPT: Beautiful Run-On

The poem explores the pain love brings upon an individual and how desperate the persona is to be more than who they are for love. This angst is one that is universal and particularly poignant in a shallow dating world, conveyed well with the run-on guidelines to appear almost as if these are instant thoughts of the individual themselves. I enjoyed reading this poem and look forward to reading more of your writing on this platform. Happy writing!

over 2 years

Self-Proclaimed Royalty

PROMPT: Returning

This piece of writing has proved potential in your writing and has great merit to it. Its integrity falls in the ability it has to extend the reader past their own environment in order to connect to a new one, where unfamiliar sights have somehow managed to become familiar ones. I would love to see you continue drafting this piece and expanding on your descriptions which I found quite cleverly written. I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW and all the best! Happy writing!

over 2 years

My Dreams

PROMPT: Into the Woods

The rhyming scheme you have employed is effective with the quatrains you have written and gives it a fluid movement. This also helped to make the gradual shift in mood and tone more obvious and I found myself being more and more so drawn to the poem as I read more. In suggesting areas to continue drafting, it would be interesting to see you explore more of the texture of the tree or the taste of the fruits. What does it feel like to have dreams slowly crumble and die away, or what does it taste like to have fruitful dreams that are waiting to be made real? These could add great imagery to your already extensive descriptions and characterise the tree with some more depth if you wish to revise this draft. Another thing you could experiment with is structure and possibly shuffling the orders of some of the stanzas. Do they add or subtract from any of the other descriptions and where can you derive some more intense meanings or ideas? Overall, this poem was a wonderful read and I would love to see where your drafting takes you. I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW and happy writing!

almost 2 years

Race the Rain

PROMPT: Open Prompt

The story you have produced in this open prompt demonstrated clarity in your writing style. It is comprehensive and is supported by vivid imagery, great characterisation and calculative use of dialogue. These literary factors are crucial in the short story form and you have employed them well. As a reader, the story leaves a strong impact on the reader holistically and this is key when delivering a longer piece of writing like this one. It kept me engrossed within it until the end and this is what truly made it as captivating as I found it. I have left many suggestions and ideas for you if you wish to continue drafting the piece but it is entirely up to you as the writer on whether or not you use any of it! In the end, it is your story and I am merely offering an insight as a third person reviewer. You may take on some of the tips for future writing pieces and that is something I would really like to see. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this short story and encourage you to publish more creative writing on WTW! All the best and happy writing!

over 2 years

For the explorers...

PROMPT: Living in Music

I love the idea of escaping 'the rat race' as it is called; having the bravery to run "away from responsibilities and ties", as you have noted, and the liberties that this would bring for an individual. My suggestion if you wish to revise this draft would be to show more of how you would exist in this alternate reality; hypothesise yourself running away and what adventures you could have from it. Furthermore, your sentences are quite lengthy and this may deter the descriptions you have made in this piece. An idea would be to simplify the sentences in order for them to be more concise and make your lists with the commas more effective. I enjoyed reviewing this piece and think it is a well-written reflection. All the best and happy writing!

over 2 years

Doors

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2017

I find the overall approach to the prompt very well done because it is written in Plain English that makes it comprehensive and conceptually strong. I love that you have taken an extended metaphor and re-contextualised it in this piece with the doors as people in society. The story addresses key ideas about the refugee crisis in the 21st century in conjunction with the acceptance for diversity for its moral. This was a creative response to the prompt with an intriguing storytelling atmosphere that has been created out your authenticity as a writer. Although the competition itself has closed, I still hope this review will serve some use for you. I have provided some suggestions that may help you if you wish to revise this draft but remember that it's up to you in the end if you want to take them on board! All the best and happy writing!

over 2 years

Green Tea Tears

PROMPT: Beautiful Run-On

The metaphor of green tea tears is incredibly creative and kept your sentence sustained throughout this poem. I mentioned it earlier in the piece itself but you can definitely experiment with structure for this kind of prompt. Despite being quite restrictive, you have already used a variety of punctuation to tackle its challenges effectively. I could only encourage you to possibly see where certain phrases in your run-on sentence could be left alone in a separate stanza, or even specific words that might be thought-provoking (as I suggested in the annotations). This can develop your sentence's visual aesthetic to add to the content's aesthetic already. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this poem and hope to see more of your published works on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Beautiful Misery

PROMPT: Paradoxical Phrasing

Overall, I enjoyed reviewing this poem. I appreciated its structure and rhythm despite being only two quatrains long. It shows your attention to ideas but also the technicality behind your writing. The mystery behind this poem really delivers a sense of intrigue in the reader and I encourage you to continue publishing lovely poems such as this on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Shower Thoughts

FREE WRITING

I found it particularly unique how you marked your thoughts in chapters, almost like the anecdote of your shower is in continuing sections. It keeps it organised and I definitely appreciated how sustained, as well as cohesive, your writing is. I could encourage you to possibly use more literary devices such as metaphors or alliteration just to enhance the piece and let your authenticity shine through. Your descriptions are quite advance and these would certainly be beneficial for them! In the annotations, I have provided some tips and advice that you may employ in revision of the draft if you wish, or that you may find more applicable to other pieces of writing you are working on. As the writer, remember that even in other reviews, the feedback you receive provides suggestions and not concrete criticism. It is up to you what you take on board :) Thank you for reading this review and I hope you have a lovely day! Happy writing! P.S Writing "The Horror" was quite fun so thanks for your little comment on it :)

over 2 years

Beautiful Things by Grayscale

PROMPT: Living in Music

What you could do in revision of this piece if you liked would be to consider the idea of an "alternate reality" as suggested in the prompt description. How does this particular song offer you the inspiration to find beauty in the world, and more importantly, what can an individual who looks at the world positively learn about themselves? What you have written captures the importance of seeing good in our world and you can continue to discuss this notion by presenting the benefits of it. Furthermore, structure is something I always recommend to writers to experiment with. You could, for example, place the word "forever" in its own as a paragraph to add more impact to it. This is especially effective in a shorter piece like this one so that it becomes more engaging and less compacted like it appears. These are some suggestions I have but in the end, it's up to you as the writer! Overall, your style is authentic and your genuine style as a writer shines through in this piece. I hope you have a lovely day and that my review has some merit that may assist you in drafting this piece or future pieces of writing! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Some Days

FREE WRITING

I particularly am impressed by the structure of the poem; despite it being in free verse, it is organised in stanzas with a pattern and that really gives it consistency as a piece of writing. I encourage you to continue manipulating form in your poems in the future because it appears aesthetic and provides your reader with direction in how they pace the poem and explore it. The content of the poem itself is very engaging and inviting to the reader, something that is valuable in writing with integrity. Overall, I enjoyed reviewing this poem and look forward to seeing more of your unique pieces of writing published on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Dunedin in the Evening.

PROMPT: Your World in Three Senses

"Dunedin in the Evening" was a beautiful poem that captured your world in mundane, yet transcendent, sensory qualities. I found the descriptions particularly strong and I also provided my praises in the annotations as you have seen. I noticed with the foreign words you selected that you placed them in the footnotes at the end of your poem. What I suggest you could do is number the words in the poem like this, "The Nacaret [1]" for the reader to refer to footnotes if they need a translation. It's just a small thing that you can do! Otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed reviewing this poem and wish you all the best with your writing endeavours! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Sickly Sweet

PROMPT: Your World in Three Senses

Overall, I enjoyed reading your piece and seeing how you captured different sensations from the simple act of drinking. The word "sugar" is quite repetitive so you could possibly search up for some synonyms that might embody the same effect. I have also provided some more suggestions in the highlighted annotations but I always tell writers that I merely offer ideas for them. Whether or not you choose to take on board my feedback is up to you in the end as the writer of this piece! Improvement comes only from yourself, not from my style of writing so find what works for you! As a first published piece on this platform, you have shown great potential in your descriptive writing and I look forward to what you have to show WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

e c s t a s y

FREE WRITING

Your hyperbolic descriptions pleasantly surprised me because when we read about ecstasy or more transcendent ideas, there is a tendency for writers to be quite verbose. It is rather difficult to encapsulate every valuable detail and sensation without it becoming like a list. This piece communicated your interpretation of ecstasy in a concise and succinct manner, something I value in great writing, especially with a larger theme such as this. I also found the italics really effective in emphasising certain words and making them stand out more than the rest. It has this poetic quality to it and I definitely encourage you to continue this technique in future pieces of writing. You could also use the bold font to have a similar effect and I recommend you employ both of them to your advantage; it helps highlight and accent certain words or phrases that you want to stick with the reader well. I did wish it was a bit longer but only because I enjoyed reading it and wanted more! I hope the review motivates you to continue experimenting with the wonderful tools that WTW has on offer and to produce strong pieces like this. All the best and happy writing!

over 2 years

Just Sing to Me

PROMPT: Songwriting Competition 2017

This song is really clear in the intentions it has and the way it was communicated. It is structured well, the rhyming of your lyrics are natural; I had no trouble when reading it out loud and it all flows incredibly well. Your song has little to no technical issues such as grammar and punctuation so I was very impressed by that. It prevented me from having to be nitpicky and instead, I could look at your piece in its entirety. I always tell writers that I offer suggestions to them. I am not trying to rewrite your song because it is your work. I am merely offering an outlook and interpretation and you could definitely use any advice I've provided here for future pieces that might be more suitable. It is up to you what feedback you want to use! I really enjoyed reviewing this song and I wish you all the best in the competition. It is coming along well and is a great contender. All the best and I am excited to see the final, published entry! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Boo Radley

PROMPT: Songwriting Competition 2017

Technically, your song has many strengths. The rhyming for these lyrics seems natural and guides the reader, who doesn't know how this is sung yet, on how to pace themselves and link ideas together. I love the allusion to "To Kill A Mockingbird" and how you have been inspired by this existing piece of literature to create your song. It demonstrates the effectiveness of external influences and shows your understanding and interpretation through this composition. I highly encourage a recording or audio to be submitted along with this to see how this song would be performed. If you're not too thrilled on the idea of recording yourself, you could always write in the footnotes or at the beginning of your song some background features. These include the genre, performing media (instruments that might accompany the lyrics) and any influences, other than "To Kill A Mockingbird", that shaped your lyrics. As a musician, I always appreciate seeing where composers have drawn inspiration from and this would certainly help bring your song to life. I would like to make sure that you know that you are not expected to take every piece of my advice because I see value in your piece and am merely offering suggestions from an outside point of view. Whether or not you take them on board is up to you! You might find my advice more applicable for other pieces of writing you are working on so I hope that this review serves some purpose for you! Overall, this song is a wonderful tribute to the novel it is based off and it is a strong contender in the Songwriting Competition for this month. I wish you all the best in the continued drafting of this piece, the competition itself and in future pieces on WTW. Happy writing!

over 2 years

Gifts to the Senses

FREE WRITING

I was impressed by the imagery you have communicated in your poem and the sensations that come with them. As highlighted, I personally enjoyed the onomatopoeia as an element because it demonstrates creativity in how you have decided to articulate the auditory sense to the reader. Your writing is always well-developed and your style is one that sticks with the reader for its uniqueness and its honesty. If you ever decide to revise the poem, I believe the structure can be something you experiment with, possibly by separating your poem into stanzas. I think it will help distinguish key ideas or scenes in your piece better but again, I only offer suggestions and it may be ones you use in the future. In summary, I enjoyed reviewing this poem as much as I did reading it and I hope the feedback can be one that motivates you to continue writing. All the best and happy writing!

over 2 years

Windmills

PROMPT: Flawed Memory

I thoroughly enjoyed reviewing this piece of non-fiction writing from you. It has given me a snapshot of your perspective upon the world and its momentum. I hope my feedback can aid you, whether it be for this piece or for future ones, and all the best with publishing on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

It All Comes Up Together

PROMPT: Beats and Pulses

The artistic process is one you have captured well in this story. It shows how simple shapes and figures can contort and be manipulated to produce beautiful works of art. This alludes greatly to the prompt itself as the intention of "Beats and Pulses" is to condense a story into basic, one-syllable building blocks that result in a solid narrative. As an artist, I believe this provides a great insight into how artists think, feel and work. My encouragement would be to experiment with punctuation with your story. Given the one-syllable prompt, you could potentially play around more with different punctuation marks and give your piece some expression as artworks do. I have noticed that you have used dialogue judiciously but you could definitely include more towards the beginning. Despite these suggestions, I always tell writers that I appreciate what has been published as it is and that reviews only give some directions or a different outlook on the piece. I do believe you could expand more on the story even though it is intended to be short by just pushing some action in the painting process or by adding little quirks such as punctuation as I have noted. Overall, I enjoyed reading and reviewing this piece of flash fiction and hope to see more of your work on WTW!

over 2 years

I Am A Teen

PROMPT: Tweet-Tales

I appreciate how you have managed to compress your story into the 140 character limit presented in this prompt. It shows what you can communicate regardless of the restrictions given to you. I found this a humorous read and encourage you to further write flash fiction as you do it quite well! Happy writing!

over 2 years

The Heart Wants What It Wants

PROMPT: Lyrics Unsung

I love the concept behind this story and how you have drawn out from the song to provide this perspective to the reader. This story was a great response to this prompt and demonstrates your ability to be creative. I enjoyed reviewing this and I hope you have a wonderful day. Happy writing!

over 2 years

Strangeness

FREE WRITING

I love quirky haikus because it takes a nice, contemporary twist on such a beloved poetic structure! I appreciate your effort to try something new and it works! To conclude my little review of encouragement for you to continue putting spins on different poetic forms, I have a haiku that is equally witty! My favourite one I have seen is- "Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator." All the best and happy writing!

over 2 years

Star-Crossed Lovers

FREE WRITING

I find this poem to be incredibly inspiring and profound; it encourages the reader to actively pursue environmental causes and assist them, as well as allow them to understand the necessity to fix the problem of pollution. I am most impressed by the complexity of the poem in terms of its use of language, techniques and message. It communicates a clear message to be more aware of the issue, but what the reader can infer in deeper appreciation is that the love of the ocean and sea is not only what we should save; we should also preserve and sustain this out of our own love and recognition to the land. I have provided some suggestions in the highlighted sections which you may like to use for revision but otherwise, I absolutely enjoyed reading this poem. I hope you continue to experiment with form as you have done exceptionally here and I look forward to reading more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

They

PROMPT: Into the Woods

This was a really sweet poem that captures the beauty of trees by personifying them. I found your descriptions vivid and clever. There is a little inconsistency with the tenses in the poem; you have used "stand", "watch" and "sway", for example, but also used "danced", "wished" and "made it hard". In revision, this would be the only suggestion I have to possibly tweak it. Otherwise, I enjoyed reviewing this poem and wish you all the best on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

innocence

FREE WRITING

In response to your message, I commend you on experimenting with a new poetic form! I love that your poem is structured into stanzas with similar enjambments for each line because it gives it rhythm and keeps it concise. It works well and has a nice aesthetic to it. A suggestion I might have is to possibly have another stanza in between the second and third. I wanted to know more of the relationship between the two sisters and you can foreshadow why the older sister does not want to destroy the girl's innocence with the brutality of the industry. Otherwise, I think the poem was a joy to read and communicates an important message about childhood and innocence. I hope you continue to write poetry and happy writing!

over 2 years

Protectors

PROMPT: Your Voice: Climate Change

The poetic approach you have taken of this prompt is really engaging and allows the reader to feel less bombarded with the issue of climate change, and more willing to see it with a simpler representation. I also admire your form and structure with balanced stanzas; this gave it rhythmic quality that is original and emphasises key words such as "A home," "A duty" and " A shelter." This is incredibly effective and I encourage you as a writer to continue this style of poetry! I have provided some ideas and suggestions you may like to use to develop your poem but otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and tuning in on your stance on Climate Change. I hope you have a lovely day and happy writing!

over 2 years

A Walk

PROMPT: Missing “E”

I noticed that at the end of each line, you use a full stop for all of them. I can suggest for you to either use run-ons and let the sentences flow from one to the next or manipulate them with other punctuation marks such as commas or dashes. This can connect your imagery to one another and help the reader visualise a full picture, rather than in fragments and putting them together. I provide suggestions as someone who sees potential in your piece and hope that even if you don't take them, you still will revise and develop it into something more! I definitely loved the simplicity of your poem and its sensory qualities that made it a vivid experience to read. I wish you all the best and happy writing!

over 2 years

A Universal Reminder

PROMPT: Beautiful Run-On

I love that this poem is concise and yet still profound. The tendency for writers for these kind of prompts is to write as much as they can and experiment with different punctuation to create one lengthy sentence. I admire how you have kept it compacted and simple because it shows that you have thought through what words would bring impact and making sure you adhere to that intention. I have provided some suggestions for you in the highlighted sections. I always tell writers that my suggestions can change your poem so it is up to you if you wish to use them but otherwise, I find this poem quite lovely and a little gem to have read. I adore it and hope you continue to develop it, as well as write more truthful and pleasant poems like these on WTW. Happy writing!

over 2 years

A Dragon's Dream

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2017

I have provided some suggestions for you but since you're a new writer on this platform, one thing I like to tell the people I review is this- "You are the writer." I am merely someone who is offering ideas that might change your story, not make it better. I would love to see you develop the piece more but that does not mean I am forcing my suggestions upon you. I enjoyed reading this story as it is; it's concise, uses Plain English and does not over-complicate the plot, carries its message simply and still has that unique, storybook feel to it. I wish you all the best with the competition and hope that your story has a shot in the running! Happy writing!

over 2 years

A Lover's Flaw

FREE WRITING

I always try to provide suggestions in my reviews and for this, I might offer a suggestion to experiment with poetic form. Your content is solid and really elucidates your style as a writer well. I would only recommend you to play with punctuation to emphasise certain lines, or possibly restructuring the poem into stanzas to make it easier for the reader to know where certain ideas fall. I do love this as it is though so if you wish to just keep it as it is, I wouldn't mind! Overall, I found this poem a pleasure to read and review. It demonstrates a unique perspective on love, and certainly feeds the reader a bit of the writer's mind. I love the way it provokes a reaction from the reader, a strong one for that matter. Poems like these are what motivate others to write because it is so profound and chilling. Thank you for reading my review and I hope to see more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Friends?

FREE WRITING

I like the use of rhyming couplets and how you have given your poem good rhythm. It does not over-complicate the poem and it paces it well for a reader (poems should always be read aloud for the full experience to be appreciated). If your concern is with the poem jumping from one scene to another, you could always try restructuring your stanzas. Imagine them as jigsaw puzzles; sometimes they may fit here and there but if you rearrange them, you might find that other pieces will fit together better. If you apply this concept with your poem, you can definitely change the flow of it and connect similar stanzas together. I find that this works when I feel like my ideas are a bit disjointed but I did love the narrative you have here as it is. It's up to you if you wish to further develop it. I hope this review helps and I look forward to continue reading your work. Happy writing!

over 2 years

thanks to society

FREE WRITING

In regards to your enquiries about grammar, the beauty about poetry is that grammar is not a be all or end all! It is preferable that you pay attention to grammar but it is not like a story where it could potentially disrupt the flow of your writing. If you wish to capitalise letters, then capitalise them. If you wish to use punctuation flexibly, then do so! There is nothing stopping you other than yourself. If you worry about grammar being an issue, try to think of your poem in a particular time period. I find that writers usually get tenses mixed up and that's where the grammar is most noticeable. I didn't see it as a problem with yours! My suggestions, as mentioned in the highlighted sections, were for experimenting with punctuation and format but again, you don't have to adhere to them. Overall, I loved your poem and encourage you to continue working with it. It demonstrates a developing style of writing and uses great similes and imagery. When writing poetry, basic literary devices like that can help the reader immerse in your work and that is what I was able to do. I hope you continue writing and experimenting with poetry and I wish you all the best with your writing endeavours. Happy writing!

over 2 years

Cocoon

FREE WRITING

Well done on a superb poem! I love the plain English of it; it does not use overly complicated vocabulary, is concise and delivers your message without uncertainty. The simplicity of it really demonstrates the whole "less is more" ideal in poetry and I admire it. I could probably encourage you to expand on the cocoon metaphor further but if you would like to keep it as it is, I would not disagree because it is quite a great piece of writing just by itself! I hope you enjoyed writing this as much as I did reviewing it and hope you have a wonderful day. Happy writing!

over 2 years

Fantasy

FREE WRITING

I adore the structure and the way you have manipulated it to have this large vector of text. I love it when poetry is not only engaging in the content, but also in its format and rhythm. This piece provokes creativity for other writers because it encourages them to experiment with form and I personally encourage you to keep doing so. Along with this, it mirrors the tone of your persona and them drifting off, gradually leading off further from the real world, only to be abruptly (demonstrated by your enjambment and singular words) back to where they started. The significance of ending your poem at the same point of which it started was something I noticed and appreciated more than the usual reader would. As for suggestions, I overall enjoyed this poem and the only suggestion I might have would be to potentially experiment with punctuation. I noticed you only used a full stop at the end of the poem to finish it with certainty. I do encourage utilising semicolons, commas, dashes or even exclamation marks to enhance your tone. Semicolons, for instance, can highlight where your persona has drifted off and then dashes can indicate when they are brought back down to earth. I only suggest these though; I'm quite satisfied with this poem as it is so it's up to you in the end. I absolutely enjoyed reviewing "Fantasy" and wish you the best with your writing endeavours. Happy writing!

over 2 years

She Wished She Could Play Piano

FREE WRITING

I am mostly impressed by your structure. Although it is a free verse poem, it has logic and order, something I value in writing. It allowed cohesion without stripping away the parallel nature of the characters. Furthermore, I loved the repetition of specific phrases to really connect the parallel characters together. I was expecting them to come together as creative enthusiasts and they did, which was quite heartwarming. This idea of two people who wished to be one another, but instead chose to complement each other, was expanded incredibly well in this poem. My suggestions are all in the annotated parts of the poem but I would like to note that they are only suggestions. If you wish to keep your piece the way it is, I am more than happy with it. As a reviewer, I offer insight but I do not expect you to change the colours of your poem for my benefit. I find it an overall pleasure to read and would have enjoyed it even if I did not choose to review it. Overall, it is a poem with strength and grasps the beauties of art, and how artists fail to ever achieve true satisfaction. I found it absolutely marvellous to read and review and I hope to read more of your work on WTW as I already do! Happy writing!

over 2 years

"We are one."

FREE WRITING

I absolutely enjoyed reading this poem. It is succinct, paced rhythmically well and has motifs (mirrors and reflections) that engage the reader, as well as encourage them to continue reading. You have exceptionally utilised your ideas and produced a solid poem from this concept, demonstrating not only technical refinement, but also creativity. My only advice was presented in the highlighted section but as I always say when I peer review, it is only a suggestion and not something I would expect you, as the writer yourself, to change. Overall, I thoroughly loved this poem and look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW! Happy writing!

over 2 years

you

FREE WRITING

Goodness, I only have enjoyed reading your work even more since I last reviewed it! Your poetry style is very distinctive, which has shown practice in developing your techniques and refining it. My English teacher once told me that "poetry is the most amazing art form because it is able to condense so much meaning and speak to many people with only a few words," and you never fail to amaze me with how you do it. I hope my extensive compliments don't disappoint you because I usually give more constructive feedback for you. I just love this poem as it is and would not do anything more with it. I did suggest a slight change in the highlighted section but that's up to you in the end (I'm a little nitpicky but was very satisfied by this poem). This review is just giving you some encouragement to keep writing because I'm definitely still reading your work! All the best and happy writing!

over 2 years

The Final Awakening

PROMPT: Mystery Writing Competition 2017

Well done overall on an outstanding entry to this competition! This is my first ever review of a mystery piece because the genre is not one that I am very familiar with. In saying this, the style of your writing would absolutely encourage someone like me to want to keep reading mystery in the future. It is attractive and quirky with bits and pieces of you as an author showing through. I have given you a lot of constructive feedback and I hope it is useful but in the end, what you choose to take on board and what you don't is entirely up to you as a writer. I believe that this piece is worth as much as you have put effort into it and hopefully, this will be reflected in the judging process later on. I appreciate the level of dedication in it and wish you the best in this competition! Happy writing!

over 2 years

Cigarette

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2017

Overall, I hope you are as proud of this piece as I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. It shows a lot of promise and is one of the most outstanding metaphors I have seen in a long time. Good luck with the piece in this competition and happy writing!

over 2 years

Chemistry

PROMPT: WILD

Although you haven't followed the prompt's guidelines (starting the piece with the word "wild" and following a poetic structure), I personally enjoyed reading it! For a first piece, you have showcased a high level of vocabulary, but more importantly, that you know how to manipulate it to a great extent. My advice from here is to possibly mould it more into a poetic form by making your sentences more concise. I find it very fun to rewrite my stories as poetry because it gets to capture the essence of my story in only a few, powerful words. Overall, I really enjoyed reading it and think that you have potential on this platform. All the best and happy writing!

over 2 years

Poem Trio

FREE WRITING

Overall, I found this poem a pleasure to read and believe that despite being a personal one, it communicates this universal security that writers obtain from spilling their thoughts into poetry. Some suggestions I could make would be to consider the structure of the piece. Your language is really good and what you can do is rearrange the order of the lines to see what might be more effective in articulating your ideas. Making an impact from this will come naturally. Also consider playing around more other literary techniques; I loved your similes but I am sure that you are capable to extending to greater devices to enhance your writing. Otherwise I personally loved this poem and think that it was a great reflection of who you are as a person as well as a writer. I hope you have a nice day and thank you for giving me such a strong piece to review!

over 2 years

An Erudite's view on academia

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2017

Overall, the piece you have produced here has certainly surprised me in how much you know about the world and how much you have scrutinised into education as an area of critique. I have a few suggestions when you choose to come back to the draft but I would like to note that you do not have to follow these; they're my opinions, but this is your piece. Firstly, citing your sources is key. Make sure you let the reader know where you are getting your quotes or ideas from so that they can be motivated to read on and explore more of the idea you have built in this response. I mentioned it once in the highlighted tools but with rhetorical questions, it is best that you do not answer them! Keep them open and continue writing as it is because it will allow them to think further. You want to give your readers a stance and perspective, but you also want them to evaluate their own life too! Finally, please work on how you structure your sentences. The way this piece has been written is effective when read aloud, but as a response to a higher order topic, the structures of your sentences should not begin with "yet" or "for", for example. They have to have basic things like the subject, object and verb but this should not be too great of a challenge because you definitely know how to make your writing sophisticated. If this is the intention you had then you should leave it as it is, I'm only providing a suggestion if you need advice in revision. Otherwise your piece is incredibly convincing and offers an insight into your own observations of the world around you. This is a universal essay that many should read and learn from. I highly respect how you have tackled this prompt and hope you will revise it before the deadline! All the best with this competition, I think you stand a great chance at coming out on top! Happy writing and I can not wait to see where you take this prompt!

almost 3 years

Ten Opinions

PROMPT: Your View

I love these opinions that have been collated by the writer. They are randomised and range from real world issues to pieces of life advice that we should take on board. This piece was really interesting and gave a great insight into the writer's perspective of the world! I look forward to seeing your essay in the upcoming competition!

almost 3 years

Something Wild

PROMPT: WILD

Well done on this prompt response. It is difficult to offer constructive feedback with such a wonderful piece! I'm unsure if you have intentions to but you could try and separate this poem into stanzas. I think that would help distinguish between your different ideas and tell a story. Otherwise, I absolutely enjoyed this piece and hope to see more poetry from you on WTW!

almost 3 years

Just Dirt

FREE WRITING

The poem was simplistic but communicated a refreshing view on the soil we walk upon. I loved the organisation of each stanza so that each line had its own impact, showing that you have utilised enjambment cleverly. Rather than suggesting you to change words necessarily, I think you could look over the structure of the poem. The order of your stanzas can definitely matter in how you deliver your message to the reader. For example, the 7th and 8th stanzas could be switched to allow a smoother transition from how the Earth speaks to us to the different ways it does; the sea, the trees and then a larger expansion with the rain/sky imagery stanza. I do not force these ideas on you but in future when you edit your pieces, this could be something you could do instead of worrying about what words to cut down or add to it. It is probably the most useful advice I could give a fellow writer. Overall, well done on an invigorating piece of poetry and I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW!

almost 3 years

red, white and blue

FREE WRITING

What a fantastic read this piece was! Something that you might not have mentioned in any other review but I definitely appreciated was the use of italics in this poem. It separates and emphasises certain words from the rest and is effective when read aloud like poetry should be. I encourage you to write more creative poems like this and experiment with punctuation and structure like you have here. I found this a pleasure to review and hope that my comments have been helpful. All the best and happy writing!

almost 3 years

Darling, it's the small things

PROMPT: 1 Photo, 100 Words

I love using solely dialogue to create a story and to see another writer, especially one as talented as yourself, manipulate it so well brings great excitement to me. There is more potential for you to utilise dialogue in future flash fiction responses like this one to communicate concisely, but with a lot of depth. Only criticism would be to check your tense which I have highlighted but grammar otherwise has not been an issue. Well done again on another amazing response and keep at it! From Angelina

almost 3 years

XCIX + I

PROMPT: 1 Photo, 100 Words

I apologise in advance for not having any criticisms because I absolutely loved this! It was an interesting take on this prompt and the photo definitely enhanced it. It was almost as if the photo was made from the story itself, rather than the story being based off the photo. That's how vivid it is and you have done an amazing job with the imagery of your characters as well. Tackling flash fiction is a challenge and you have accepted it and delivered! Well done and I look forward to reading more of your works on WTW!

almost 3 years

The Life Police

FREE WRITING

The poem you have written, along with a lot of your other works that I have read, is really thought-provoking. I think the best ideas come to us when we are on the verge of sleep and thinking about the universe in deep thought! I highly encourage you keep a note pad beside your bed so that you can jot ideas down in the middle of the night if you haven't already. This is such a quality piece of writing and you came up with it out of nowhere! Although I love it as it is, is there another concept you might want to write about? Another stanza could be more effective in the lead up to the final one about responsibility. Overall, amazing work as always and I'm glad to have reviewed this. Happy new year to you too!

almost 3 years

Bring It On

FREE WRITING

The author has produced a flawless piece that seems both personal to him, but has this universal determination that we all can extract from it. I, being someone who wants to fulfil a career in music, know the beauties of dreaming big and wanting to live the life that I have always envisioned for myself. You have captured this dream lust very well and concisely. In terms of suggestions, you could possibly experiment with punctuation. Your grammar and spelling is not an issue but maybe see if a full stop at the end of certain lines could provide emphasis where you want it. Your structure is great as it is but something small like a comma can change how it is delivered to the reader. Overall, wonderful piece and I hope that you take on board the same willpower as the persona you have created by doing what you want and love in life. Happy writing!

almost 3 years

The Forbidden Name

PROMPT: Unnamed

The free-verse poem produced by this writer gathers all the essential associations with the colour and communicates them in a concise and educated matter. Please revise the piece holistically to work on your grammar and punctuation; they are really nit-picky things to point out when your peers read your work but if you edit carefully then the reviewer can help you on the content more. I also believe that you could experiment with the structure by separating the large poem into stanzas. This is only a suggestion though because it is your piece but see what you can do to emphasise certain lines and introduce new imagery. I can see a lot of potential coming from this poem if you come back to it after this review and think about what impact you want the reader to have. In conclusion, work on little things to improve the overall poem because it does have an effect that is often unnoticed. I loved the different visuals you used and the personification of the colour, finding them incredibly great ways to articulate the colour. All the best on this piece, I hope you continue to write and publish more quality works like this on WTW!

almost 3 years

why do people forget?

FREE WRITING

The writer has written a simple yet powerful piece, questioning why we forget down the track what it was like to be a child. It discusses the importance of establishing the beauty of individuality from a young age and poses the question of why we try to stop that, especially when we were children once too. I have to note that I love the subtle choice to not use any capital letters because I, for one, did not use them as a child because I thought that "all letters should be treated the same." This absolutely brings a new light into the future and how we need to tap into the talents and personalities of youth to build their lives and encourage good citizenship. You have published an incredible piece that you could revise by, instead of adding or taking new stanzas, rearranging them. Try start off with, for example, talking about how we silence them, then move towards how we ignore them, how they can not be intelligent in our eyes and then how they become lost from this and how even their own parents forget and are oblivious. This could tell the argument you have in a more cohesive order but otherwise, I found this structure relatively interesting and the use of repetition was effective, along with the enjambment. Thank you for writing this, it was a pleasure to read and I hope you provide more poems like this for the platform to read!

about 3 years

Starburst

PROMPT: 1 Photo, 20 Words

The writer uses their extensive vocabulary in order to describe the image in this prompt with clarity. This is particularly effective because the writer communicates everything they want their reader to see in only 20 words as the prompt has strictly stated. I absolutely enjoyed reading this poem and will be excited to see what else this writer can produce from being on this writing platform!

about 3 years

Slow Down, Mighty World!

FREE WRITING

The piece you have presented is profound, utilising fantastic imagery and has this raw tone with it, as if you are speaking on behalf of everyone in this poem. You have manipulated enjambment quite well too, giving this free verse poem an interesting structure. I can not fault anything in this piece and found it an absolute pleasure to read. I hope you continue to write poems as thought-provoking as this and publish them for the rest of the WTW platform to read!

about 3 years

chaos.

PROMPT: Unnamed

Well done on this piece! I found it using great imagery and personification, particularly with the mountains and the night sky. The writer does not over-complicate the piece and kept it concise, along with pouring this atmosphere that is so genuine into the words they have written. I hope you produce more of these quality works for Write the World!

about 3 years

BLOOM

PROMPT: Fissure

Taking a fissure, something that we often see as negative, the writer has given it a surprising twist that shows that beautiful things come to us most unexpected. When editing, make sure you check your spelling because it may be small but it will make the difference in the long run in how you edit. Along with this, you could experiment with punctuation at the end of each line to give impact to your poem, such as a full stop to put emphasis or halt reading, provoking thought into the reader. These are my suggestions but otherwise, this poem has a very unique concept and has been articulated well. I hope you continue revising this piece and publishing works for WTW!

about 3 years

Winter Days for Some

PROMPT: My December Competition 2016

The piece the writer has published is beautiful because it presents a revised way of looking at December. It is not just about having candy canes and snow, but family and memories. The writer has used effective imagery, which is why I would recommend you to further this approach. Experiment and write more about the different scenes and aspects of your world that you notice during December. This will make your response more descriptive because you will provide a better picture for the reader as they journey through your piece, though I only suggest this and believe that it could be left just as it is. The piece is cohesive and has great potential for being entered into this My December competition. I wish you all the best of luck!

about 3 years

Closing the Calender

PROMPT: 10 Words

I love the attention to alliteration in this particular piece, using the letter "C" as a way to connect all these December elements together. This shows just how much consideration the writer had when choosing what to add to the list in order for it to effectively communicate what December means to them. Instead of changing the words itself, perhaps revise the structure of the list. By grouping all the Christmas elements together, for example, the list can give a chronological image of what the writer sees during this month. This is only a suggestion because I found the list quite heartwarming regardless. In conclusion, I was happy to read this and grab an insight into a December from this writer's perspective. I hope you continue writing for WTW and sharing more of your personal experiences through this forum!

about 3 years

10 Confessions of a Wallflower

PROMPT: Enumeration

This response to the given prompt was universal in the sense that there are probably many people who feel the same way as the writer. At the same time, it was personal and expresses the writer's innermost thoughts about socialising and solitude. I believe that the writer has achieved a great feat by doing this, making the piece something that is easy to relate to but with a spin of their own ideas. These confessions were thought-provoking and introduced a revised way to view introverts which was communicated well by the writer. It was a pleasure to read and review!

about 3 years

Red

PROMPT: Unnamed

The writer has produced a grand representation and outlook on red as a colour. The paradoxes, how it is both something powerful yet unnoticed, something good and something bad, is what makes red such a wonderful colour. The writer has articulated the contradicting connotations of red incredibly well and could elaborate by giving specific examples of this we see in everyday life, such as with lipstick or in apples. It is not vague but if the writer chooses to show images of red in the real world through this piece, the reader can construct a more vivid image and this will strengthen the piece. In addition, try experiment with new starts to the sentences; "it", "the" and "this" seem to be quite recurring. If the writer rearranges the structure of the sentences, it could still make sense and start of differently each time. Overall, this was a well-written depiction of the chosen colour, red, and I encourage the writer to continue with this style of writing.

about 3 years

Thank You All

PROMPT: Missing “E”

This poem was a touching recognition of those who go behind the scenes and fight for us everyday. I appreciated mostly how the writer has, without fear, stated that we do not care enough about the military and wishes to apologise on the nation's behalf. This was particularly moving for me, making this piece one that is written from the heart of the writer who is passionate about their country and their people. I encourage you to continue writing and despite the challenge of not using an 'E', you have produced a quality response to this difficult prompt!

about 3 years

In Nature

PROMPT: The Peace of Wild Things

This piece was a wayfarer's dream come true, capturing some of the most beautiful parts of the world. I love the way you began each stanza with "I find" and then elaborate with examples, utilising imagery to really communicate the power of nature to the reader. Your use of enjambment was strategically effective, allowing the first words of your lines to really stand out. I would like to see you possibly add a stanza after the first one that addresses the wildlife, I think you could definitely find a creative way to talk about it. This is up to you but it could make the transition to the second stanza smoother. Overall, this poem was great to read and encapsulates the wonders of our world. Thank you for sharing your work as always, I enjoy reading them and it was an honour to review this piece for you!

about 3 years

ROYGBIV

PROMPT: Unnamed

I absolutely adored this piece and found it a unique way to respond to the Colour prompt. It does not reveal the rainbow as the subject itself until the very end and even there, it is not explicitly mentioned. I like how well it was hinted throughout the piece, keeping the reader engaged as they jump from one colour to the next using the images as stimuli. Well done and I hope to see more of your work on WTW in the future!

about 3 years

Attachment

PROMPT: Emotion by Association

This poem was a pleasure to read, the author clearly showing a proficient ability in using poetic techniques. Your use of enjambment was particularly commendable; strategic and manipulated effectively to accent important words at the beginning of each line. I think this is a great poem and I hope the author continues to write at this standard for future WTW pieces!

about 3 years

Honeysuckle Blossoms

PROMPT: Unnamed

This piece started off quite sentient, glorifying and making the colour yellow really "pop out" as the author has put it. I enjoyed the different examples of yellow in our daily lives and it made me realise how common the colour really is. It poses the question about colour in humans, how we perceive races and what it means to be living in such a vivid yet negative environment. I suggest revision on grammar and spelling, but otherwise the piece itself is strong. I enjoyed reviewing this and hope you will write more about your experiences and share how you see the world!

about 3 years

Blue

PROMPT: Unnamed

The piece was poetic and maintained a steady rhythm despite being short and simple. I think rather than adding or subtracting anything, rearranging the sentences could change the order of the piece and potentially make a difference in how it flows. The author is not vague but should see this piece as one that is broad and universal instead. I enjoyed this piece and look forward to seeing future responses from this writer on WTW!

about 3 years

Free Time

PROMPT: All in a Minute

This short was really cute and captures a profound idea; with love, it's not about elaborate gifts or outings because even something as small as this can be treasured and seen as precious. I think the only advice I would have would be trying to give him more character, "screen time" if you may. It would really bring out the moment if the reader could have another sentence with possibly his reaction, whether he laughs along wholeheartedly or stares confused. Otherwise, thank you for writing this. I definitely believe you are capable of writing more stories of this quality and give your readers this "awwwwra" as I call it like you have with me. Well done and I hope you continue writing stories like this!

about 3 years

Green

PROMPT: Unnamed

This poem was a joy to read and communicated the contrasting beauties of the colour "green" very well. The structure has a good flow to it and it is possible that the author could include one more example where the universal and the personal aspect of green applies. This could make the piece that more effective and would tie it all together nicely, somewhere in the middle. Overall, I found this engaging and thought-provoking, enlightening my perspective on this seemingly-ordinary colour. Thank you for sharing and I hope you continue writing for WTW!

about 3 years

Soul-searching

PROMPT: Unnamed

I love how the author has split the description into two paragraphs, the first one being more vague and mysterious and the second one revealing natural examples of the colour. It keeps the reader intrigued and willing to read all the way until the end. Maybe elaborating more in the second paragraph with examples of the colour in its finest would give a more vivid depiction of it. Otherwise, I found this lovely and I'm glad you picked your favourite colour because it is writing that is from your heart. Thank you for sharing!

about 3 years

Longing

PROMPT: Emotion by Association

The poem written is quite beautiful and communicates the idea of longing well. I suggest avoiding cliches, which is the goal of this prompt, such as "heart pounding" and replacing it with something like "heart wrestling between whether or not to keep me alive or hurt me"(This is only a suggestion though). Otherwise, thank you for writing this poem and sharing your take on this emotion. I encourage you to experiment with using more imagery that is different yet impacting.

about 3 years

Kiss

PROMPT: All in a Minute

This was a very cute and fluttery piece, encompassing the greatness of falling in love and sharing kiss. Again, I particularly liked the seconds that were indicated and I encourage you experiment with this kind of style more throughout your time writing on WTW!

about 3 years

A Writer's Notebook

FREE WRITING

I have always loved reading your works and am a big fan of your writing. I found this poem simple yet conveys a story within a story; writing about writing itself. Succinct and with a great choice of words, I felt like I was reading a description of my own notebook and this is an experience that you should definitely keep trying to achieve; creating an atmosphere that is unique but also able to make the reader feel like it is personal. This was a pleasure to read and I hope to continue seeing your writing pop up on WTW!

about 3 years

Froot Loop

PROMPT: All Talk

I found your story enjoyable to read through, loving how you distinguished the two characters with italics and regular font. Your use of punctuation is well-thought out and when the story is read aloud, it indicates certain ways to speak the lines. This is an incredible tool, punctuation, that you have been able to utilised and I hope you further choose to manipulate with when you write. My only advice would be to revise simple things that I have highlighted but otherwise, a flawless piece with each character having a unique tone and personality. Please continue writing for WTW and producing pieces like this!

about 3 years

Endwort

PROMPT: Paint Swatch

This colour presented is vividly articulated, using a unique dictionary search format to describe it. It accounts for some of the finest aspects of the land and glorifies them to allow the reader to grow an appreciation for smaller things in nature. Although we are not given a specific shade or hue, the definition of this colour is really subjective, making it up to interpretation and thus, more applicable to a wider admiration by readers. I thoroughly enjoyed investigating and exploring my mind with how I conjured up this colour and hope that the author keeps developing this refreshingly romantic style of writing!

about 3 years

He was my everything

PROMPT: Open Prompt

This was a very emotional and, from how I interpreted it, personal piece. I only hope it was not something based on your own experience because it is quite tragic and the emotion in this is raw. Experiment with punctuation and use it to your advantage because they, although seemingly small, can really affect your writing substantially. I loved the way you did not use names and just pronouns for your characters, for this makes it universal for those who have suffered from similar experiences with love. I found this a pleasure to read and I hope you continue writing this genuinely for WTW!

about 3 years

1 sentence, 1 million meanings.

PROMPT: 10 Second Essays

You have presented truth and important life lessons in this prompt. I suggest adding maybe another essay to wrap up all four ideas, giving a way to let us rediscover ourselves like the last one indirectly does. I found the simplicity of your essays genuine and easy to understand, open to interpretation by the reader as they really do have a million meanings. Thank you for sharing your 10 second essays and please continue to think of more powerful messages like these for WTW!

about 3 years

The Universe Personified.

PROMPT: 1 Photo, 20 Words

This was a wonderful poem, using the power of personification to evoke the beauty of potential and character that we, as the reader, can appreciate. I particularly love how the words "big" and "unknown", "dark" and "terrifying", "twinkling" and "utterly mesmerising" correspond to each other. This was a clever technique to employ and really ties the package of the poem together in a neat bow. I suggest experimenting with punctuation, not that you have anything wrong, just to see which punctuation marks could provide a bigger impact when the poem is read aloud (I believe good poetry should be read aloud, it is quite marvellous). Overall, well done on this piece and for using the 20 words potently. I look forward to seeing more of your work on WTW!

about 3 years

Falling

PROMPT: All in a Minute

This piece of flash fiction really managed to capture what losing your senses feels like, being in a position where you have no control over what is happening. I loved the choices of words because it helped in making this story quick and simple like flash fiction should. I hope you keep writing more for WTW and presenting more shorts of a quality like this.

about 3 years

You and Him

PROMPT: 26 Sentences

This alphabet narrative has definitely demonstrated the prompt's aim to show writers that even with restrictions, there is room to be innovative and explore ways to communicate a story. Its use of Plain English and everyday language allows the reader to immerse themselves into the world of Zoe as well as the trivial nature of dating and love. This is a sustained piece that is worth commending for its ability to capture the reader and keep them wanting to read more. In your story, I noticed that a lot of symbolism falls in the responses she had to previous boys before she finally says yes. A suggestion to enhance the impact of these is to use quotations marks where she says "no" and possibly bold for when she said "yes." Something as simple as this can give your story a visual aesthetic and emphasise the decisions that your character has made. It also shows her strength and desire to find true passion which can be highlighted accordingly. To end this review, I would like to implore you to never see anything you write as bad! From one idea may sprout another and even if you personally don't find this your best piece of writing, you should see it as a motivation to want to improve. I understand how it feels to spend lots of time on a piece and not feel satisfied by the end of it but I encourage you to always see good in everything you write! It is one story after the other and if you spent time on this, be proud of at least that much rather than see it as a waste of time. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and wish you the best with your future writing endeavours. Happy writing!

over 2 years

Socialising is Exhausting

FREE WRITING

This short poem is succinct yet powerful, showing how what we say or do has thoughts behind it and intentions may not come through the way we wish it to. Adding a longer dialogue would be great, I know that keeping conversations short is something awkward socialisers do but it would be great if you added another piece of spoken dialogue between the two characters just to give us more insight into them. That being said, you can showcase more of your inner concerns and express yourself too. Overall, well written and very relatable. Continue working on poems like this for Write the World and you will be quite the personality on this platform.

about 3 years

A Galaxy Complex

PROMPT: 1 Photo, 20 Words

The author definitely does make sense with what they have said, maintaining a mysterious yet thought-provoking poem in the 20 word limit. The powerful message behind this has been condensed in a form that is simple enough to understand but also triggers philosophical questions, like what it means to be exist when we are merely so small in comparison to the world. I definitely enjoyed reading this and will be looking forward to reading more poetry from the author.

about 3 years

icarus

PROMPT: Pantoum

The author has utilised the pantoum structure effectively; this is coming from a reviewer who writes a lot of pantoums herself and enjoys reading them. I particularly like how you chose Icarus as the central idea of your poem because Greek mythology is an area many people can relate to and learn from. The profound moral of being humble and "down to earth" is important and your poem was great at communicating this. It was a concise way to present his story in a poetic manner. I hope you keep experimenting with your writing, and I definitely encourage you to write more pantoums.

about 3 years

"Tina"

PROMPT: The story of your name

Very wonderful piece, a great entry to your portfolio of writing for this page. Continue to work on grammar and punctuation and keep writing for WTW!

about 3 years

My Mind

PROMPT: 10 Second Essays

This is as the 10 second essay suggests; short, sweet and strong. It captures a thousand pictures in one sentence and I hope you continue writing more pieces for WTW!

over 3 years

Poetry Came To Me

FREE WRITING

I would only suggest to revise on your grammar and spelling with this piece but otherwise, you have maintained a very consistent structure. The theme of poetry is communicated effectively throughout and it was a pleasure to read. I hope you continue to write, especially poetry, and keep you improving the art of writing on this blog!

over 3 years

7 Things That Should Exist

PROMPT: Enumeration

The writer has chosen a unique take on this prompt and selected interesting things they wished were real. I loved that they elaborated on why they think these would influence the world positively. I have noticed there is a trend of mythological beasts and creatures that is being mentioned and the writer has implied their love for them and their yearning for them to exist. The writer could add more abstract ideas like true love as they have noted, happy endings or fairy godmothers. These fairytale elements can link to the mythological ones and reinforce how fantasies should be reality. Overall, I found the response to be fascinating and I hope to see more of your work on WTW!

about 3 years

Rinse and Repeat

FREE WRITING

This poem was written effectively, displaying the harsh reality that bullying is continuously and have detrimental impacts on someone. I think that was crafted exceptionally well, especially considering that you managed to communicate a story in less than thirty words in a unique manner. Well done and continue writing!

about 3 years

Her Letter Beside My Flowers

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2016

I was once told that a good story isn't about what you choose to include but what you choose to leave out. I am unsure what your original drafts of this letter would have looked like but whatever you have provided here in this published piece is raw and fresh. It tells the love of a grandma and her grandchild, a relationship that isn't often discussed like a letter between two lovers and whatnot. Beautifully expressed and heartwarming to read. I hope you continue to publish more personal-inspired stories for Write the World and you have definitely earned a follow from me.

over 3 years

Illiterate

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2016

You have written a very delicate piece that has warmed me. The title is amazing by the way, I like the ambiguity of it but then being revealed its significance throughout the letter. Overall, it was a pleasure to read and I hope you continue to post and enter competitions for Write the World. You have earned a follow from me :)

over 3 years

Alphabetical Love

PROMPT: Twenty-Six Sentences

I quite loved this; a simple take on a young romance, the rollercoaster of thoughts and extremes of emotions expressed well in the most condensed way. It is refreshing and the little twist at the end was cute :) Keep writing and experimenting with structure, I highly encourage focusing on a set frame (such as using the alphabet with this) because it keeps you on track.

over 3 years

Missing Pieces

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2016

This letter was heartfelt and I could feel the hurt from the writer's side of the relationship. You have written a very beautiful letter and I strongly motivate you to keep writing and forward your art in expressions and characterisations. You have earned a follow from me :)

over 3 years

If I Were To Have A Daughter

FREE WRITING

The piece grants children, as well as us, permission to embrace femininity and to feel strength in weakness. It discusses the beauties in raising children and teaching them how to live healthily in a toxic world as ours. Your anaphora of "If I were to have a daughter" is super effective and continuously reminds the reader of what your piece is about. I, for one, usually forget the title of what I'm reading midway through so to have it repeatedly mentioned, though in different contexts and with different connotations, enables me to see the greater picture of your writing. I noticed that sometimes you have full stops at the end of sentences, and sometimes you don't. I'm not sure if this is intentional but you can definitely make it so by experimenting with punctuation to emphasise or link different ideas together! I always encourage writers to play around with punctuation because once we know the rules of how to use it, we should break them and discover new ways to. I only offer suggestions in my reviews to show an interpretation so don't feel like you are inclined to take my feedback on board! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and the advice I give might be more applicable to future pieces that you may write. Overall, I am highly impressed and hope that you continue to showcase your writing on this platform as you evidently have so far. Happy writing!

over 2 years

Untitled

PROMPT: Mysteries Abound

I loved it, I hardly write reviews so you are a special one :) Keep writing and always question the world, philosophy is one of the greatest intellectual fields you could invest in to expand your ideas for future writing :D

over 3 years