kanigi7

United States

just a kitten with a laptop

Message from Writer

i may not be the best, but i try my best.

sometimes beauty is not conventional. sometimes the ugliest things will become the most beautiful.

Published Work

The World Anew

Indigo Bats

Darkness had fallen and the air was stained with the colours of firewood, sparks, and smoke. A comfort wrapped around us as we lay on the grass, watching the familiar turn into the new as stars began to dot the indigo stretch of sky. The atmosphere was peaceful, without reality, or as if the time of reality had stopped or been put on hold. 

Everything became another dimension, parallel to our own, but yet... Different in its own ways. 

Flits of shadows darted over our heads, playing with the trees and each other, acting as playmates and strangers all at once. Zig zag flight patterns and the quiet hush of wings became our only focus besides the stars and moon. We were like invisible observers, watching the bats return from their daylight slumber. Watching the stars twinkle in the dark. Watching the constellations dance among the groups of nearly-black bat wings as partners at a ball.

The beauty in it...

25 Words

Thunder Storm Sadness

Stormi stared out the window of her uncle's house, waiting eagerly for thunder to roll across the sky and lift the heaviness from her heart. 

Acrostic Verse

Crashing Writer

Countless nights wide awake in front of the screen and surrounded in legal pads
Raccoon eyes and raccoon hunger ravaging my physical being
Abandoned life in the search of the one in my mind
Sloppy handwriting as the sun begins to rise and my mind fades with the moon
Hopelessness of lost normality as I drift to sleep with one more chapter written 

Monostich

Fisherman

Crashing waves of brilliance, you provide my livelihood but I fear you will one day claim my life. 

Fernweh

Connected

Zonifer, zonify: (verb/noun) [zah-knee-figh]
    The ability or characteristic of being able to zone out or space out in order to be more aware of one's atmosphere. Could also describe the person as a whole, a title. 

1. She would often zonify while driving; it helps her see the bigger picture of her surroundings. 
2. Sometimes psychics live as zonifers. 


 

Ten Words to You

Home Sweet South

intense; mundane
chaotic; soothing
sharp wind; soft breeze
sunshine; rain

Names for Nature

Oxford the Tree

Oxford. Ever present, ever swaying. Breathing in the wind with a quiet disposition. I anticipate the day that this great oak tree in my backyard will tip over, groaning as its beautiful head falls to the ground. Surrounded by lush grass in the summer and crisp, dying grass in the winter, Oxford remains the strongest tree I've ever seen. Leaves ruffled by the wind high up in the clouds. The rough, aged skin of him shows battle scars from birdhouses and climbing and lost limbs from storms. I smile up at Oxford and admire his tenacity. On the world. On his ability to grow and live despite the doubt. I admire the birds who have taken pride and trust in the shelter of his branches and the shade of his plumage. He bows to none but the wind, but even this is only a courtesy, showing his humility in the face of those weaker than him. He is beautiful. Oxford...

<living corpse>

Shatter and crack. 
Without you I am nothing
But a pile of bones. 
Batter and break.
Without you I feel like
My body might disintegrate. 

Crush and churn. 
My stomach is in knots
Because I can't hold you close. 
Smash and clash. 
My heart can no longer carry
All the heavy longing of you.

Bury and cover. 
Let my body fall to the ground
Because I am only a corpse. 
Wary and broken. 
I can no longer smile because you
Are no longer in my presence.  

Truths and Untruths

Truth or Dare.. Wait... True or False...

1. I wish that distance was easier to conquer. 
2. I wish that my parents were more accepting. 
3. I wish I could own a cat.  
4. I wish that I was the age of my soul, not my body. 
5. I wish my appearance was more like that of a cat. 
6. I wish plane tickets were cheap. 
7. I wish countries would stop fighting. 
8. I wish that my writing was more constant. 
9. I wish I understood myself. 
10. I wish animals didn't die so quickly and easily. 

Turned to Stone

Grey Daisies

I used to count the stars with my grandfather every night. We would sneak out of the village, against the warnings of our people, and lay in fields filled with lush grass and grey coloured daisies. The first time I saw the daisies, I was confused. They later became a bittersweet comfort. We counted stars in constellations and stars unnamed and stars who belonged to only themselves. We would lay in the soft grass for hours on end. Waiting until the razor blades of the sun's rays slashed at the horizon. We would sprint back home, both of us being runners for the village. The laughter as we got home in the nick of time was lively and the most joyous sound in the entire village.

We were the only ones brave enough to take on such a task. The rest of our village was too afraid of the sun to ever go outside and risk being caught by it....

Timeless Counsel

Breathe

Best advice? 

Breathe. 

Sometimes life gets to the point where your chest gets tight, and it feels like a thousand tons of elephant weight is chained to your arms and legs. Sometimes your tears will come without warrant and without warning. Sometimes the watching eyes of others feels like a magnifying glass on only you. Sometimes there are moments without peace and only stress, anxiety, and horror. But you have to take a step back and remember to breathe. Or the world wins. 

Breathe or life will come crashing down like the sky on dooms day. 

Breathe or you'll never know what you can truly achieve. 

The Subject that Matters

Anti

Anti-Stress:
    This class should be taught in every school in every country. Stress is the leading cause of so many problems. And this class could be converted into anything, such as anti-anxiety. People need to be more aware of the symptoms involving stress and anxiety and how to treat or calm these things. 

I Remember

I Remember When...

I remember when joy was tangible in my house. 
When sadness didn't cover us like dust on old furniture. 
I remember when my mother smiled at my father. 
When yelling words weren't all that could be heard over the wind. 
I remember when I could leave my room without fear. 
When the act of showing my face wasn't blasphemy. 
I remember when my brother loved life. 
When he wasn't afraid to walk to the store with me. 
I remember when the sun left fingerprints in my eyes. 
When depression didn't plague me like black ink. 
I remember when judgment wasn't so quick. 
When you could be who you were without being terrified. 
I remember when my friends could hang out with me. 
When we could sit around doing nothing for fun. 
I remember when relaxation wasn't just a mere illusion. 
When laziness wasn't forced and stress wasn't constant. 
I remember when my first desire wasn't to leave home as soon...

Your View

Perspective

1. Music is the soul of sound. 
    Whether you live in the US or the middle of the Atlantic. The southern section of Africa or Sri Lanka. South Korea or Northern Europe. Music is the soul to everything that moves. Music has the power to destroy and uplift. It has the power to restore time or make it stop. Music makes the world connected. Music has a soul of its own, and it moves and dishes out beauty with its own volition. 

2. People argue too much. 
    
Take a breath. Step back. There really doesn't need to be so much anger. Take things in stride and live for yourself. Who cares if someone else believes differently from you? You have your opinion and they have theirs. Let it be. Sometimes arguments produce progress, but nowadays, there are too many arguments about too many little things that progress is the absolute opposite of what happens. We move backwards...

Invented Cartography

Nemesis

Being here wasn't part of the plan. 

Being isolated on a planet filled with idiots wasn't the plan. 

Being the only genius in this castle wasn't the plan. 

But that's exactly what happened. 

My name is Lucius. Lucius Axel. But those who know me call me Prince Luke. I rule over a small section of land with a ghastly title: Kingdom of Rhen. A long time ago, we were a religious group who claimed vengeance as their only goal in life. Our patron saint? Nemesis. Though she's not really a saint. She's a goddess. A horrible, blood-thirsty goddess. At least in my eyes. She has done nothing but destroy the world. Why the hell would my small, industrial, warrior-filled kingdom pick Nemesis to worship? Well... I suppose it started with the origins of this kingdom. We live in the middle of a lake. There's only one way in and one way out: a rickety old bridge that scares the living...

St. Valentine 17

Reds and blues mean nothing to me
When his eyes are a shade of the universe. 
A brown so dark they swallow me. 
Yet they sparkle with light
That could only derive from the stars. 

***

Chocolates and movie tickets mean nothing to me
When his arms are at home. 
A home belonging to the two of us. 
Where the world sinks away 
And hides us from those who scream. 

***

Cards and love songs mean nothing to me
When his lips speak the sweetest words.
Letters strung together so beautifully. 
Sounding like the voice of the wind
With a baritone full of soothing notes. 

***

Celebrations and romance mean nothing to me
When his heart is full of care and compassion. 
A heart pumping with seducing beats. 
Sending a rhythm into my own heart
That could lull even the sirens to sleep

This I Believe

I Believe

I believe words change the heart. 
That ink rolling 
Through veins
Is a power beyond compare. 
That letters in print
In font
In breath
Is more than life itself. 

I believe that travel is essential. 
That sights
For sore eyes
Affect more than vision. 
That sunsets
Green grass
Tall buildings
Are more than simple train stops. 

I believe that the world is hardened. 
That people hate
More than they love
Despite beauty. 
That anger
Disgust
Malice
Are more common than dirt. 

I believe that sunshine isn't always the cure. 
That sometimes rain 
Is more effective
Than medicine. 
That overexposure
To light
Warmth
Can kill a person's spirit
Faster than any bullet. 

I believe that music can save lives. 
That people need 
Sound more than air. 
That a paper marked with notes
Lyrics
Stories
Will change the way people see the world. 

WILD

Let's Be Wild Together

And we are the Wild Ones. 
Untamed but never Forgotten. 
Let's be wild together 
In the place of civilized chaos. 
Let's dissipate into the air
Like a drop of water
Evaporating before their eyes. 
Let's explore the universe
On the backs of unicorns 
And the wings of dragons. 
Let's tame the stars
And bend them to our will. 
Let's make the dogs
Into wolves again.
Let's turn the cats                   
Into lions again.  
Let's climb trees and skyscrapers
In search of Heaven. 
Let's ascend into the clouds
With the rays of the sun
As our glittering wings.  
Let's live away from society 
In a safety net of danger 
And sleep on beds of nails. 
Let's surround ourselves by tigers 
And be drooled over by monsters. 
Let's live on the wind
And never look back. 
We are the Wild Ones.  
Untamed but never Forgotten. 

WILD

Let's Be Wild Together

And we are the Wild Ones. 
Untamed but never Forgotten. 
Let's be wild together
In the place of civilized chaos. 
Let's dissipate into the air
Like a drop of water
Evaporating before their eyes. 
Let's explore the universe
On the backs of unicorns 
And the wings of dragons. 
Let's tame the stars
And bend them to our will. 
Let's make the dogs
Into wolves again.
Let's turn the cats
Into lions again. 
Let's climb trees and skyscrapers
In search of Heaven. 
Let's ascend int the clouds
With the rays of the sun
As our glittering wings. 
Let's live away from society
In a safety net of danger 
And sleep on beds of nails
Surrounded by tigers 
And drooled over by monsters. 
We are the Wild Ones. 
Untamed but never Forgotten. 

X, Y, Z

Compressed. 
Restricted. 
Why did I think I could do this? 

Anxiety. 
Depression. 
Why did they think I could do this? 

Stressed. 
Panicked. 
Why did the world do this? 

Hollow. 
Numb. 
Why did this become a thing? 

Spaced. 
Braced. 
Why can't I keep myself together? 

Breathless. 
Thoughtless. 
Why did this become my life? 

Becoming Human

River Girl

And again I was dreaming.
A steady, sturdy dream. 
Lucid. 
A huge green meadow. 
Like something out of.. 
Well..
A dream. 
I saw you. 
Your beautiful glass surface
Sparkling with the joyous tears
Of your brilliant blue eyes. 

I approached you. 
You ran and skipped through 
The meadow. 
Spreading a cool
Yet warm aura 
Everywhere you stepped. 


I watched you from afar
Before running my fingers
Through your silky hair. 
Your teal locks surrounding
My fingers
With a comfort
That can only come
From a dream. 

What Is Sunshine?

When I was a kid, 
I used to think
I would be happy forever. 
Happier than the sun itself.
Laughing with anyone and everything.
Family.
Friends. 
Myself. 
I used to stare
Out the window
With a smile on my face
And a laugh in my heart.

But now? 
Now I know my childish heart,
The heart with a glass-like case,
Would become
Shattered,
Scared,
Confused.
Broken at the prospect of her future.  
Because now there is only pain.
Now I stare
Out the window
With tears on my cheeks
And longing in my soul. 
The laughter comes to cover up
Tears,
Pain, 
Loneliness.

Hysterics and dark circles.
That is all I own. 
They came with the package.
All inclusive. 
The sleepless nights. 
The monsters in my mind. 
The broken pieces of my heart. 
The endless questions. 
The merciless self-hatred. 

As we grow up,
We don't see ourselves
Drowning in sadness,
Drowning in tears, 
Drowning out our screams of
Utter...

1 Photo, 100 Words

Lost But Not Quite

Lost in the black and blue.

Bruises erased in the lustful ocean. Our skin wiped clean. We were free. Enveloped like the kin of the jellyfish and the friends of the whales. We became the tide and the shore. We became the seagulls and the fish they ate. We became the sharks and the dolphins. We became the starfish and the sting rays. Our past no longer belonged to us but the salt seeping into our bones. We floated in the blue. Darkness seeping into our eyes as light. 

We were lost, but god. We found ourselves like never before. 

The Peace of Wild Things

Haven in a Library

When the monsters 
Close in on me, 
And I no longer
Hear the sounds
Of the wind whistling,
Or birds chirping,
Or crunching grass,
I find solace
Between the glue
Of a book's pages. 

The smell of a new book. 
Fresh ink.
Cracking glue.
Pressed pages.
Excitement. 
Glory. 
Adventure. 
I find home in the touch of a 
Newly bound book
Just waiting to be explored. 

The smell of an old book. 
Worn ink. 
Rotting glue. 
Yellowed pages. 
Comfort. 
Peace. 
Assurance. 
I find solace in the whispers
Of an old book
Waiting for their spine to be stroked. 

Amidst all the monsters
And pain. 
Amidst every cut
And bruise. 
I can find the simplest of pleasures
And most beautiful peace
In between the lines of
Ink stamped into paper. 

Self and a Statistic

Looking Glass Media

The more we see, the more we know. 

The more we look, the less we see. 

Signing Off

Letter To My Demons

Dear Nightmares,  

Where have you gone? I know you can't have gone far, and I don't particularly miss you or the Beasts you send after me, trapping me in a cage of shadows. But I do admit it's a little strange to get more than two hours of sleep. I am exhausted all the time, and I can't figure out why. I seemed to get more sleep when I had you to be anxious over and to shake in my boots over. Since you wandered off, I have found a new way to sleep. I deprive myself of it until I feel like I may nearly collapse, then I blackout as soon as I get home. It's a rather effective system, but very spotty. I can't control these blackouts, you see, and it makes speaking with others difficult at night.

And here's another thing about these pesky, festering, and unstoppable blackouts, I can't remember most of what happens during...

Names, Names, Names

Title Me

A breakfast joint 
    Monday Morning
A new smartphone 
    Little Light
An eyeglasses store
    20/20 
A dog pound
    Lost and Pound 
A highway 
    Flutter
An island resort 
    Blue Paradise
A new constellation
     Lux
A pet polar bear 
    Glacier
A nail polish color 
    Dirty Dancing
A new butterfly species
    Flush  

10 Words

Shopping for December

1. Anxiety
2. Bells
3. Depression
4. Frost
5. Glass 
6. Holly
7. Joy
8. Old Blankets
9. Stress
10. Tearing

Needle Point

They told me there would be no side effects. They lied. 

It started with simple tests. Needles stuck in my arm at various points. Liquids of a thousand different colours inserted into my veins, into my blood, with short-lasting effects. I got dizzy. I got tired. I got headaches. I was hyper. I was frustrated. I was careless. I was clumsy. I was in control. I was strong. Thousands of results came from these liquids, but they all lasted only 24 hours. Until now. 

I've started losing my mind. I've became hyper aware of everything. I see things. I hear things. I feel things. None of them exist. My condition hardly changed now. I lay in my isolated hospital bed, on top of the mint green sheets, and stare at the sterile white door across the bijou room. There is a picture type window set above my bed. The light shining in makes the dim more sluggish. It takes away...

Universal Knowledge

Empathy

Empathy, though fleeting as a china berry blossom, creates a universally understand language; one that must flourish and spread out it's fragile pink petals in the darkest of places if it is to be truly understood and spoken with sincerity. 

1 Photo, 20 Words

Pained Cosmos

A ripple in time
From a bubble of stars
A cosmos tearing itself apart
From the pain seen in us 

Black&White

There's a certain beauty
In the darkness of
Nothingness. 

There's a certain horror
In the brightness of
Everything.

Even a white rose
Has a black shadow. 

So stop sugar coating
The crystal cutting edges
Of life. 

We are all stuck 
In the same hell. 

So stop throwing water
On something that don't
Extinguish. 

We're all falling for
Something that
Doesn't exist.

So stop trying to tell us
That it's been there
All along. 

There's a certain beauty
In the brightness of
Everything. 

There's a certain horror
In the darkness of
Nothingness. 

Reaper's Rejection

It was sunny and blue
Until you asked that
Question. 

In an instant the clouds
Turned dark as the Reaper's
Fingers.

I swear they were
Reaching for my caged
Heart. 

Stealing away my capacity
To breathe right I 
Stumbled. 

Falling into the dark 
Abyss that is
You. 

Echoing words surrounding
My lifeless and hollow
Body. 

I never thought death 
Would come for me
Early. 

But you spoke those words
And I swear I saw Death's
Face. 

Leave me be to my
Thoughts. 

I can hardly even
Think. 

Breathe. 

Live. 

One letter off. 

Love. 

"Do you love me?"

The World of My Love

I captured the world in my hands. 
My fingers were weak,
But I clutched onto it 
With everything I had. 

The world glowed with radiance.
My eyes squinted at the light,
But I couldn't help but stare
And blind myself. 

A figure came from the light. 
It was wrapped up in the stars,
And I watched in awe
As it smiled at me. 

He grew up strong and tall, that figure. 
I fell without reservation, 
And that was my mistake
But it was a beautiful one. 

The man from my captured world
Decided to save me, 
And through my sick pride
I let him place his hands beneath my weak ones. 

His warmth emanated around my life. 
My heart gave in to his radiance, 
And I watched as he lived passionately
Even though he had been torn from his world. 

I captured the world in my hands.
My fingers were weak, 
But I held onto it with all I had,  ...

Paint Swatch

Colours of Her

Crave. 
    The colour of her lips in the morning. The colour of soft peaches and sun kissed pink roses. 

Lightwood. 
    The colour of baby sap trees. The colour of the puppy sitting in her lap. 

Pira. 
    The colour of the pure white kitten purring at her ankle. The colour of her smile on a thursday night when the stars shine. 

Quartz. 
    The colour of the clear ocean. The colour of her eyes when the moon sparkles off them. 

Ledge. 
    The colour of the cliff rocks underneath her thighs. The colour of the sky as it rains down on her hair. 

Illumination

Benevolent Tiger

He is like the wind, untouchable but undoubtedly there, and with a deep, first breath, I depend on him for the second. His innocent and benevolent nature are alluring, and he feels like home. 

How To Love Nightmares

1. First off: consider the seriousness of the nightmare. Different dreams come with different severity and levels of terror. The demons of the night love to scare humans, but they often grace the morning with forgetfulness. 

2. Remember that often the nightmare is not real. The title of "nightmare" directly relates to a demon spirit coming in the night to bright bad dreams. Regardless of vividity, nightmares are not reality. They are simply what some other creature wants you to see. 

3. If you are aware of yourself during the nightmare, attempt to manipulate the nightmare in a way that you can better handle. 

4. If you feel stuck within the dream, breathe. It will soon be over. Sleep paralysis is normal. Though terrifying, it will not last forever. 

5. If the nightmare is slower paced, try to watch carefully at the world surrounding you. Find something that may calm you down and make the dream less terrifying. Latch onto...

0-9

9 Ways to Defeat the Monsters

1. Admit that they are exactly what they say they are: Monsters, Angels, Creatures, Darkness, Devils. Call them by name. Let them hear the title they have given themselves slip from your lips and into the air. 

2. Do not try to run. They will catch you. If you do try to run, do not look back. The monsters will always be there when you look back. Even if they give you a head start, they will always drag you back kicking and screaming.

3. Don't interpret their words. They do not speak the gospel. They do not let words fly towards you encased in marshmallow fluff. Their words will cut like glass if you listen hard enough. 

4. Give them what they want on a surface level. Do not put your emotions into the task. They will sense the rising endorphins. They will take advantage of these chemical reactions. 

5. Allow them to do all the talking. If you...

Kings

We were the rulers of the world. For a moment, I thought we would last forever. I think back now and laugh. I was so careless. I truly was. What did I need to worry about, though? In all honesty? Nothing. I had absolutely nothing to worry about. But therein lies the key world. Had. 

Contradiction

Mature but childish.
Compassionate to a fault
But short tempered.
I am a walking contradiction
And I cannot stop that. 
"You are you 
And that's truer than true,
There's no one alive
That's youer than you."
I hear the quote,
Ringing in my ears,
But I don't listen.
I do not like who I am. 

Broken and screaming. 
Whole and laughing. 
Shattered and smiling
Through the pain.
Gluing myself together
And crying through the healing. 
I am transient,
And I cannot help it. 
Constantly changing
Is the aesthetic I seem to keep. 

Personality stable.
Identity confused. 
I am split between two worlds.
Two sides of the same coin.
Eager to leave
But too paralyzed to move. 
Crying out for the better
But hiding from the light. 
I've spent too long in the darkness.
This is who I am 
And this is how I'll stay. 

0-9

9 Ways to Defeat the Monsters

1. Admit that they are exactly what they say they are: Monsters, Angels, Creatures, Darkness, Devils. Call them by name. Let them hear the title they have given themselves slip from your lips and into the air. 

2. Do not try to run. They will catch you. If you do try to run, do not look back. The monsters will always be there when you look back. Even if they gives you a head start, they will always drag you back kicking and screaming.

3. Don't interpret their words. They do not speak the gospel. They do not let words fly towards you encased in marshmallow fluff. Their words will cut like glass if you listen hard enough. 

4. Give them what they want on a surface level. Do not put your emotions into the task. They will sense the rising endorphins. They will take advantage of these chemical reactions. 

5. Allow them to do all the talking. If you...

0-9

9 Ways to Defeat the Monsters

1. Admit that they are exactly what they say they are: Monsters, Angels, Creatures, Darkness, Devils. Call them by name. Let them hear the title they have given themselves slip from your lips and into the air. 

2. Don't look them in the eyes. Their eyes are the first things to capture your soul and ensnare your mind. Their eyes will kill you if you let them. 

3. Don't interpret their words. They do not speak the gospel. They do not let words fly towards you encased in marshmallow fluff. Their words will cut like glass if you listen hard enough. 

4. Give them what they want on a surface level. Do not put your emotions into the task. They will sense the rising endorphins. They will take advantage of these chemical reactions. 

5. Allow them to do all the talking. If you talk back, you are allowing a personal response. If you respond to their command in kind with...

All in a Name

Title It

My name is Sana. This is my last name. I guess I could tell you about my first name, too. My first name is Kanigi. 

I am not named after anyone. My name came from no where, really. My first name doesn't mean anything. The closest relation to Kanigi is "kanji." This is a type of Japanese writing including Chinese characters. My last name, though, has meaning. Sana is a Muslim name. It means brilliance or to gaze. I've been known to look at and take in the world more than others, and maybe I have my name to thank for that, but who knows. 

Holocaust Narrative

The beginning was simple. 
With sales and repair
Running through my father's fingers.
The magic of my mother's books
Brought a sort of flair
Into my life. 

The beginning was simple.
But more often
I saw the uniformed soldiers
Of the new Fuhrer.
They would attack
Every breathing human
That caught attention. 

The beginning was simple. 
But soon education would disturb
And before I knew it, 
I was dragged
Into the darkest hole.
The hole seemed to absorb
Every chance of hope. 

The beginning was simple. 
But when I left prison
A thousand days later
I found my mother's
Dead eyes
And my brother's
Concentration camp.  
 

Six-Word Memoir

Not My World

Stuck here; I don't belong anymore.

Six-Word Memoir

Not My World

Stuck here but I don't belong

Zeros & Ones

Consumption.
Destruction. 
Hypocritical isolation. 
The antisocial become the real world. 
The lonely and awkward become the popular. 
In a world where bullying
No longer occurs in a circle
But travels down the grape vine
On a string of zeros and ones. 
Where not knowing catchphrases in a vine
Is worse than committing a crime.
Where we agree to the Terms of Use
Faster than we answer our mothers. 
Where followers are more than
Mindless stalkers.
Where tumblr is the home for the
Lost and depressed. 
Where youtube is the home for the
Joyful and creative. 
Where instagram is the home for the
Artsy and obsessed. 
This is the world of the web.
Where our stories are no longer
Told in ink on a page
But through pictures on a screen
Glowing fluorescent in an app. 
Where emojiis are used more
Than the emotions on our face. 
Where LOL and OMG
Is typed out more than expressed. 
Where retweeting and unfollowing ...