i commented on this but i didn't feel like it summed up my feelings about this strongly enough. this is just so beautiful and i wasn't kidding when i said it very nearly moved me to tears. please don't worry about writing a 'normal' romantic poem!! this is beautiful in its own way and i would say more so than those conventional stories and poems. if you wrote a poetry book with poems like this, you can bet i'll be reading it every day. really brilliant job, well done!
PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019
This is truly wonderful and I loved reading it. The absolute best of luck to you when revising (if you plan to)!
I don't really have very many comments as to what you could improve, but I would say it would be really interesting to see if you could experiment with how you layout your poetry (if that's your main focus) as this poem goes in a very sequential, almost linear plotline, but I think it would also be nice to see if there was a little jumble in the stanzas and line as if the narrator is unreliable or whatnot. I saw you already had a few reviews, but this was just too good to not review! Really well done with this piece, it's absolutely stunning.