chrysanthemums&ink

United States

ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ 'ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ.

Message from Writer

i hope the next decision you make brings you happiness.

Peer Reviews

Three's a crowd, and so it becomes two

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2020

I've come back to this piece multiple times while drafting my own ff entry, just for inspiration and motivation. Honestly, I'm a little jealous of how good this is, but that just shows how well this is going to do. Any suggestions are just that, suggestions, and feel free to ignore me on anything you disagree on (although this is a pretty crappy review anyways, given that I didn't give much criticism at all :/). Don't be afraid to message me abt what I've said or to ask me questions about things, I'm always up for it! Wishing you the best! <3 Lmao this is probably full of typos.

2 months

welcome to the end of eras

FREE WRITING

you can see my descent into madness through the highlights. I hope this was helpful! what a nice intro to your story, i'm interested if you ever publish it anywhere! all my suggestions are just suggestions and the person with the ultimate jurisdiction is you, the writer! take all i said with a grain of salt!~like always, if you have any questions about any of the points i mentioned, just ask me below! also this is unedited so all the grammar mistakes are on me-

4 months

of crowns and wings and horns

FREE WRITING

back when you thought my name was chrysanthemums&tea lol. I think my jaw dropped when i saw this in your profile, was not expecting this TT. Haha I'm glad I at least tried to return the favor, although I doubt my piece could trump this masterpiece. Beautiful work, and if you have anything to say about any of the points I've made, feel free to message me about it!

5 months

bow to the titans of old

FREE WRITING

Sorry if I sound really nitpicky in this review. It's a bad habit of mine *scratches head*. If you have any questions about anything I mentioned then feel free to message me about it! Take all I said with a grain of salt because ultimately, it's you that knows what's best for your writing. Good luck on the contest :). This is really beautiful and will definitely be a contender. Amazing as always!

5 months

through your seasons

FREE WRITING

It would be the understatement of the year to say I had a NIGHTMARE choosing which piece of yours to review simply because they're all so good! Even on this one, I felt like everything I said was inconsequential and unimportant because you did so much right. Take my words with a grain of salt because all I was doing was taking nitpicks and expanding on them. Your pieces are a major guilty pleasure of mine, keep it up!

5 months

hungry chapter 1 revised

FREE WRITING

This is from the post you commented on earlier. Here's some things I'd like to say. (1): It's generally not a good idea to introduce all the characters and their profiles in a huge exposition dump. It's hard to read, and as you develop as a writer, it's a hard habit to shake off. Try to present them in more subtle ways, like the way they talk, their nervous habits, or some quirks, like you did for the triplets, Marcus, and Levi in the previous paragraphs. Keep in mind that with such a large cast of characters, it'll be harder to manage them all and give them all realistic backgrounds/personality traits etc. You've done a good job with the three characters I've mentioned though. TL;DR, Maybe introduce the character slowly and gradually in a way that feels more natural. (2): A minor nitpick, but usually when you're writing a novel or a chapter book, capitalizing is preferred. (3): I used to have this problem too; when you're using quotation marks for dialogue, the format is: "(dialogue)". There are no spaces in front of the first word. TL;DR, there aren't any spaces in between the first quotation marks and the first word. (4): There are many grammatical errors. If you need any help, I'll be happy to provide it, but for now, I'll just leave you with this. TL;DR, check your grammar in places. English is weird. (5): Sophia seems to have an awful lot of responsibility for her age. This brings up the question: how long has this been going on? They can't stay in that hiding spot and subsist on moldy bread forever, right? How has Sophia been dealing with this huge burden psychologically? TL;DR, It's amazing that you're dealing with topics like these, but they are a little heavy, so you might want to tread carefully. This is such a cool concept! I'm a little harsh when it comes to peer reviews, so it might not come off that way, but this is truly an amazing first part. Sophia is characterized nicely, and even some of the children got their turn in the spotlight! I'm sure that with a few tweaks here and there, this could be absolutely phenomenal. If you disagree with any of the points I've made, or if you have some criticism about the peer review itself, I'll gladly listen! I'm sorry if I have offended you or sound conceited or arrogant. I'll keep tabs on this story, as I think it has great potential! I hope this helped you!

6 months