i knew i didn't love you the moment i saw you.
when i was burning wild with passion,
you were my obsession, my distraction.
then chasing after you felt like,
being high on beams of moonlight,
drinking in the twilight,
night after night.
when i finally caught you, called you mine,
something changed, i can't deny.
i withered away in the sunlight,
the truth was underlined in bold,
with the flicker of my heart, i realised,
all that glitters is not gold.
violet blue green red i'm a whirlwind of emotions with you.
one minute I'm a purple dream,
a lilac lavender field to sink into.
a burst of maroon lightning,
a fleeting love poem to you.
then you colour me blue.
ocean still and peaceful
ever thinking about you.
you show me unimaginable colours
deep green that's in your eyes.
lush jewels shining,
an emerald palace,
my only desire.
then you hurl on the reddest paint,
it hurts to think to about it so i lie.
you unleash the monster within me,
you commit my crime.
violet blue green red which colour will you show me this time?
my alarm is a deafening siren.
i wake up with a jolt.
the birds are screeching, my ears are ringing.
everything sounds louder when you can't see.
i feel my bed, grasping with grogginess.
the sheets are tangled, so i routinely make my bed.
making my way around the house is easy.
i've been navigating through this maze since i was born.
the morning is young, but the dark doesn't scare me.
i've been navigating through this darkness since i was born.
i sip cold chamomile tea as it eases up my throat, rejuvenating a tired soul.
everything tastes better when you can't see.
i like to take a walk around this time,
the silence fools me into thinking nothing is wrong.
my dog scurries ahead of me, but we always stop at the flowers.
i like to inhale the mellow scent, let it take me far away.
well everything smells better when you can't see.
the worn battlefield had no place for a blooming flower.
glistening with youth, flowing hair and dazzling eyes.
a heart so soft yet a head so cold.
her petals were withering,
and her time too near.
there was no shelter in that love-sapped land.
just the loud boom of missiles,
and the tiny glint of hope in her fragile heart.
her father wore a cape,
his heroic smile remained amidst the grief.
with friends so long gone,
papa's face was locked within her heart .
and as the missile monsoon rained down,
"i'll be with you 'till the whole world ends."
they say the kindest of people,
are usually the saddest.
his smile is like a fresh meadow,
blooming with gold sunflowers,
that reach for the infinite heights of a sky.
his delicate and gentle embrace,
his healing touch,
revives me in the penetrating cold.
one look into his eyes,
and i'm whisked away,
into an infinite ocean of gleaming azure.
but when he is raw,
and his emotions threaten to spill,
in the form of salty desolate tears,
is when i love him most.
Time halts when I catch that glower,
Heart frostier than a winter storm.
Clenched fists toughened,
Fuming like a wrathful bull in the ring.
Your steel figure has betrayed me.
Leaving me solitary with a bitter aftertaste.
That spiteful mouth continues spitting insults,
As they shoot perilously through the air,
Sharply splitting the icy atmosphere.
But I’ll smile proudly.
Even when I’m drowning in the crimson pool of your anger.
Every bullet will ricochet and obliterate,
As they bounce pathetically off my chest.
My fists will be relaxed and unfurled.
As I stare into your demented eyes,
Flames rampant like a ferocious fire,
I don’t catch a glimpse of gallantry.
All I see is a shattered soul,
weary and given up.
I’ve already won this battle.
For one who can restrain their fury,
Is tough enough to bear the weight of the world.
The silence was deafening as I stood still in the ominous biting coldness. I was isolated, and I couldn’t even hear the distant whiny cries of my brother. Like a cliche horror scene, I was beginning to feel a chill run feverishly down my back. It reminded me of bony skeletal hands, ready to grasp me with their gaunt palms.
In short, I didn’t like it.
Like a flamingo in a flock of pigeons, the murky-feathered bird was quickly the centre of all my attention. Eyes a pool of enigma, it stared at me, perched high atop a religious cross. The crackling mouldy gravestones surrounding me seemed to dangerously lean in, trapping me. I was astounded to the point in which I couldn’t breathe, and I held my stare with those black pearls, dead silent. All around me, the world gradually faded away. It was simply the peculiar crow and I.
The crow cocked its head as it watched me...
With every step; a gasp is emitted.
The rhythmic click of her diamond studded boots glisten softly in the sunlight.
Glinting as they blind you.
One would breathlessly say belle fille,
And desirously assume she knew.
Yet her eyes are downcast, shying away,
Like a vulnerable mouse she hides.
You’d think that every night and day,
Her cheeks are stained in sadness as she cries.
She turns the corner without a word,
into an alley shrouded in darkness.
When she’s melted into the white noise,
Where every lipstick stain is artless.
Falsely believing every retched word,
And trapped inside her thoughts,
She discovers an invisible mirror.
Looking into it she’ll bitterly sigh,
“From the crowd I wish I’d differ.”
A demanding hand tightly clasps my heart, enclosing it within darkness.
A wall, it stands orderly and imposing, never wavering.
Like an emotionless fish, swimming in an artless circle, I’m frozen.
As a busy world buzzes around me, my presence has melted away.
I’ve merely become a small hindrance in a fast-paced play.
My role has faded away.
I’m blinded by a dazzling idol, that’ll never be within reach.
As I’m falling behind, I know too well it’s coming to a close.
Baggy eyes scratched harshly, I live with a scarred soul so heavy.
Was the fluttering attraction and spur of happiness all a dream?
I still reminisce those joyful days, even if they’re now a world away.
Though the sadness will drag on, bringing my stubborn self-down.
When I sense the sweet melody, its tune dripping like honey into my ears,
I’ll embrace it warmly.
And I’ll know this place is home.
Because the dazzling light that suppresses me...
Strained grins stretching across their tight cheeks, she watched in fascination through her small television. Every word spoken seemed animated, as if they could be winded and played a couple hundred times. They proposed ideas of big and small. If one were to listen closely like she was, you would’ve have doubled over at the ridiculous blabber, however others only listened in awe. They gasped in marvel and applauded as if they were welcoming the king. The petite doll-like child sat confused, proposing their words. The ideas seemed like clear glass, see-through and artless with no vigor. Still, what was she to do? The young girl, dependent and with a mind still developing sat in silence and obedience. That’s what everybody expected of her, that she fit with the crowd. To avoid being a flamboyant flamingo in a flock of dull pigeons was what society believed was correct. Truth to be told, the little girl despised the unseen rule, but...
Every second spent with the precious jewel was never wasted. In your incomplete life, scattered with countless holes, the inanimate object managed to fill them all. Everybody reproached you of being crazy, but their accusatory fingers never brought you down. You had it all. Just like that, without the diamond you can’t imagine getting by. You cherished it so much, so why did you leave? How foolish. Not thinking twice, insatiability got the better of you. That perplexing grey soon became bland in your eyes, every curve etched into the diamond became boring and insignificant. Searching for something more, you left. You walked away from the one thing you needed most. Over the years, you encountered myriads of marvelous jewels. A lavender amethyst, the smoky and jagged mountainous surface captivating. You even encountered a royal blue sapphire, eyes lost in its brilliant cobalt elegance. However, none ever gave you that feeling. That completion. That striking grey, you’d never see it...
Every second spent with the precious jewel is never wasted. In your incomplete life, scattered with countless holes, the inanimate object managed to fill them all. Everybody reproached you of being crazy, but their accusatory fingers never brought you down. You had it all. Just like that, without the diamond you can’t imagine getting by. You cherished it so much, so why did you leave? How foolish. Not thinking twice, insatiability got the better of you. That perplexing grey soon became bland in your eyes, every curve etched into the diamond became boring and insignificant. Searching for something more, you left. You walked away from the one thing you needed most. Over the years, you encountered myriads of marvelous jewels. A lavender amethyst, the smoky and jagged mountainous surface captivating. You even encountered a royal blue sapphire, eyes lost in its brilliant cobalt elegance. However, none ever gave you that feeling. That completion. That striking grey, you’d never see it...
Perched in front of me, close enough to brush against my nose, sat a bland grey diamond. Though intricately curved, with every edge finely trimmed, its dreary shade disinterested me. So why was it placed upon a pedestal, as if it was of such high importance? Snickering at the ridiculous and unworthy show-piece, I turn away, my footsteps fading. Time passes, and the jewel sits atop, graceful and awaiting. Before long, I returned, uncertain as to why. Inside my heart, there was a constant pestering. A reminder I was missing something of great significance. Like I had left an incomplete jigsaw and completely forgot about it. There, in front of me, sat the answer. The jewel looked lonely, and my natural reaction was to reach forward, and carefully but surely, cradle it in my arms. I missed the texture, the cool feel of its smooth and firm surface. I came to realise there was a beauty within its simplicity. The...
Though I’ll never know what happened,
To my dear youthful lover.
Lilies in her hair and a spring in her step,
Her dress like a gleaming pearl.
Though the dreary clouds may hide again,
And the weather come to ease,
I was yearning still to find,
my one true sun.
Though I quest through winter and spring,
a sense of familiarity only you could bring.
All I find is a hollow space within my soul.
Though I’m out in front,
brave and armored.
I’m near behind,
Days will come, and days will pass.
I will never know where you truly are.
And so in my head, your emerald eyes,
glimmering like playful ripples in the water,
greet me by the front door.
In my head, your delicate feet run in joy,
kicking up sand by the shore.
In my dreams you’re flying, soaring through the clouds.
Singing with the birds as you take to the sky, their melody...
Lazy Sundays, pent up in this room.
Peachy rays of light illuminating my messy unkempt floor.
Beautiful violet haze, fiery flecks of the sun now barely visible.
Scrolling through my phone, squinting in the white glare.
Outdated 80s cd, discarded and idle.
Vans shoes strewn away, shoelaces undone.
The bridge of my nose, shivering in the pleasant and chilly afternoon.
Various rock posters, taped athwart my walls,
gaudy masks, never to be worn again and stashed away furtively.
A stack of newspapers, likely never to be read.
A tranquil melancholy beat, playing softly in my ear,
lulling me to sleep on this lazy Sunday.
Perhaps, if I somehow let you go,
It would be easier to love every day.
Learn not to despise that hefty stone upon my chest,
and befriend the sorrow that I’ve lived with all these years.
Yet you still struggle, letting yourself in no matter what.
Don’t argue, don’t say anymore.
If all that I detested could be erased,
In the artless blink of an eye,
Could the grief be dried off my raw cheeks?
I know what I desire will never come true.
Your persistence tortures me, I plead you to say nothing more.
My stubborn soul you see, is actually fragile.
It’s slowly fracturing with every step I take, closer towards you.
Don’t you understand? I only have one heart.
So stop! You’re hurting me, tearing up every fragment of moral that I have.
You break me down so mercilessly, striking every wall I build ruthlessly.
Inside my head, I shout until my lungs give out, and cry...
It wasn’t until I heard my own emotions reveal
a sweet melody, dripping with genuine sincerity,
that I came to realise how pathetic and frightened I was.
A mismatched rhythm, played by an abhorrent instrument,
couldn’t prevent me from loving that mournful heartfelt voice.
And so my inner four-walls declared me insane.
When I finally meet my ruler,
and he bestows upon me for my deeds,
I plead my case.
This battle I fight,
ceaselessly and shamelessly,
who is ultimately winning?
I leave it all up to you, as you are the judge.
These shackles I’ve conceived are in your hands.
Set me free.
I think I understand deep within, that a chance is chimera.
My mind’s been engulfed,
Within my head, I no longer know me.
My soul has long frozen, leaving my solitary self behind.
The merciless flames would cure this loneliness.
Hell’s hot for a reason.
So instead, I beg of you to take me. ...
Every drop of blood rushes to my head forcefully, a tsunami of pain hammering into me.
My petty naïve self doesn’t care, I continue swaying in the congested and noisy room.
Dancing upon end, I am completely absorbed within the music.
As if I were a zombie hypnotized.
Heart now one with the rhythm of the upbeat ear blasting music, like a soldier following strict orders I vigorously move to the beat.
It’s so clumsy, so lame. My inner-self mocks me, until I am ashamed.
Gracelessly, I collapse in utter exhaustion.
The world has dimmed to a pitch black. I reach out to my surroundings yet I am alone.
Loneliness, a vile antagonist of mine. After all of the commotion, the sudden absence of company rose dread within me.
I couldn’t stand it.
Blood now pumping into my ears compellingly, like a magician I rise off the ground.
Stupid, what was I thinking? Like a notorious young teenager, I escape...
I sway my legs carelessly, perched upon a rooftop overlooking the derelict city.
Mind a million miles elsewhere, and heart thumping fiercely, I can’t help but reminisce.
My desperation overtakes me as I selfishly attempt to obscure those forbidden feelings.
Yet my body sways along to the melancholy rhythm of those everlasting memories.
Sincere and warm droplets of tears stain my cheeks, gradually dried by the cool afternoon breeze.
Heart overwhelmed by rage and frustration, I realise that even at this very moment I’m at a loss for words.
Back then, my mouth was hampered, taped shut tightly.
I would sell the world to be free, to speak once more to you.
One more chance, was that too much to ask for?
I would give away my arms and legs just to point out the dazzling blue sky,
And stare in marvel at your flawlessly sculptured face and azure eyes, as they become lost in an array of clouds. ...
I twist and tug you around my little finger,
Coldly winding you up like a child’s toy.
Deceiving you with a superficial smile,
You fall for me so easily.
I’m your hero, a genius of royal blood.
I sit upon an ethereal throne you admire.
A lost puppy you are, running through my devious maze so endlessly.
Pushed away by my greed, yet you ravenously seek for more.
Your every breath hangs onto me,
The vile devil that robbed you of your wings.
You look so lonely, trapped in that solitary unwelcome forest.
Why don’t you escape those winding branches, reaching out to grab you, hurt you?
Like a fragile glass doll, you surrender.
We no longer know each other; we’ve lost our way home.
Look around you, look towards the stunning sky, reach towards the heavens.
Don’t wait for me.
Inspired by Hwasas’ ‘Twit’
Heart heavy, I heave forward with a cold start.
Inside me a warmth has been sucked out harshly, replaced with an unfamiliar icy dread.
Trembling, my fingers reach out and away. They curl hopelessly, finding nothing.
A chaos awakens within me, cruel fingers known as panic strangling my throat. Pinning me down.
Cries from deep inside my pitch black mind urge me, the silence is painfully deafening.
My face twists in anguish, yet I can’t scream. Not heard.
I want to perceive why my struggle is unseen, why am I being unnoticed?
Yet my immovable eyes remain closed, not a single ounce of vigor strong enough to reopen them.
Tilting my head high, my desperation diminished to nothing, as I could no longer see the light.
Just a stony and sarcastic darkness, imposingly peering down on me.
I was left wordless and alone.
Chest slowly resting, I release my thoughts of the chaos overtaking me and drown.
I become smaller,...