I've left a few highlights just related to general phrasing and grammar, just some ways you might potentially be able to create a smooth and atmospheric flow and build suspense. These are of course just suggestions!

I think perhaps you could remove a lot of the detail of the fight in the second 'paragraph' - "Jiva raised her hand" all the way through to "Fire hit her in the chest." Because this is a flash piece,...

I think perhaps to deepen your emotional exploration in this poem, and also to possibly connect more with the prompt, you might benefit from potentially trying to rephrase some of your emotional language. You tend to lean towards quite explicitly...

Most of the feedback here is on general phrasing or grammar stuff, but your overall broad approach to the piece is really good. Keep it up and definitely apply these skills and observations to other pieces of writing that you...

The piece does read a bit like the start to a longer story. I think it's very good as an introductory chapter or beginning to something else. But maybe just as a challenge or something to play around with, you...

You could perhaps do something about the distinctive sound of John's walking alerting Sherlock it was him. Remember, he used to have a cane due to a psychosomatic limp! (In the BBC series, not necessarily in the original stories, but...

I've highlighted some areas where perhaps you might want to try some other phrasings or arrangements, as when I read the poem out loud these parts might have not sounded as 'flowing' as others. For the most part though this...

Well done on creating such as strong and beautiful, comforting mood through such a simple little poem. I feel like I'm getting some real Rupi Kaur/Beau Taplin kind of influences coming through here, but I like how this has been...

Off to a really great start. Your language and vocabulary is very classic and clear, but at the same time carries a lot of subtlety which is important for a horror text. I also like how you have drawn the...