NightReader

Canada

About me:
I'm bi(yes I'm saying that I like boys and girls, so deal)
I'm a Gryffindor and a Slytherin
And I believe that just because we are experiencing a pandemic doesn't mean it has to cause pandemonium(or mass buying of toilet paper)

Message from Writer

I am someone who gets pissed off when they leave a classroom and hears one of their friends getting taunted for being gay. I am sick and tired of people acting like it's a bad word! The word's original meaning had nothing to do with sexuality people! Its original meaning is happiness! So why are we using it as a f**king insult?!?!

Published Work

Tomorrow

Tomorrow does not fear Today,
Nor Today, Tomorrow,
So why do we fear what's to come,
and thing's already said and done?

Today can hold many thing's;
Happy, mad and sorrow,
So why are tomorrows Jewels
made to hide their pretty face
inside walls and burrows?

This Is What You Made Me

Blank, black,
Empty, expeled,
Changed, corrupted,
Unwanted, unworthy,
Loveless, lacking
This is what I never wanted to be,
This is what I became,

This is what you made me

Little Star

Twinkle, twinkle little star
You broke the pieces of my heart
Holding tightly to the shards
You want me to fall apart

Twinkle, twinkle little star
You're the reason I went dark
 

Wishes & Dreams

Love in the dark,
Faith when I'm blind,
Peace in the chaos,
Hope for my life

I wish...

The Calm And Grey Wolf

Whose wolf is that? I think I know.
Its owner is quite happy though.
Full of joy like a vivid rainbow,
I watch her laugh. I cry hello.

She gives her wolf a shake,
And laughs until her belly aches.
The only other sound's the break,
Of distant waves and birds awake.

The wolf is calm, grey and deep,
But she has promises to keep,
After cake and lots of sleep.
Sweet dreams come to her cheap.

She rises from her gentle bed,
With thoughts of kittens in her head,
She eats her jam with lots of bread.
Ready for the day ahead.

Feather

Whose feather is that? I think I know.
Its owner is quite angry though.
She was cross like a dark storm.
I watch her pace. I cry hello.

She gives her feather a shake,
And screams I've made a bad mistake.
The only other sound's the break,
Of distant waves and birds awake.

The feather is soft, fluffy and deep,
But she has promises to keep,
Tormented with nightmares she never sleeps.
Revenge is a promise a girl should keep.

She rises from her cursed bed,
With thoughts of violence in her head,
A flash of rage and she sees red.
Without a pause, I turn and flee.

For the feather is broken,
And so is her sanity

Eternity

I saw the pained lifespan of my generation destroyed,
How I thanked the afterlife.
Does the afterlife make you shiver?
Does it?

How happy is death Hades?
Does Hades make you shiver?
Does he?

The lonelyness sings
Down, down, down into the darkness of solitude,
Gently it goes - the sly, the clever, the adroit.

Cougar- A Haiku

Misty break of day
An eastern, calm cougar stalks
in spite of the lynx

Lynx- A Haiku

Cloudy aurora
An eurasian, dark lynx prowls
watching the cougar

You and I

I was a northwester and you a sluiceway
I was a start and you a crosswind
I was a floodwater and you an advance
I was a rainstorm and you a topic
I was a prelude and you a discord
I was a panic and you a meteor shower
Yet together we are whole,
Perfect,
Unbroken,
Special

Dancing & Singing

See the stalking of the dancer,
I think he's angry at the freelancer.
He finds it hard to see the lion,
Overshadowed by the menacing ion.
Who is that running near the cheetah?
I think she'd like to eat the Tacita.
She is but a thundery singer,
Admired as she sits upon a Ratzinger.
Her fierce car is just a snake,
It needs no gas, it runs, brake.
She's not alone she brings a jaguar,
a pet leopard, and a fresh scar.
The leopard likes to chase a lynx,
Especially one that's in the minks.
The dancer shudders at the powerful tiger
He wants to leave but she wants the new fire.

Grave Love

Once upon a midnight abandoned,
By the grave I saw the storms,
Tempest's of fate and chance,
Typhoon's of destiny are binding,
And love lost to them is blinding,
For when fate tears ties of love,
And chance lets love flow anew,
Then destiny will lead you,
Away from the graves of the past,
Towards the bright open plains of tomorrow,
And the love awaiting me.

No Longer Forgotten

Deep into that darkness obliterating
With such a passion for intimidating
The initiating and the abbreviating
The bully never liberating
All my soul within me berating
The irritating intimidation incinerating
Waiting, waiting!
Back into my memories needing
All my soul within me aching
And so you came gently gasping
My mental chains releasing
Breaking, taking
Your heart fulfilling
And mine now ungiving
You are protecting
Me

Folie

Fou, brisé.
C’est ma réalité.
Ma vie.
Ma vérité.
Mais...

Même dans les brisés,
Les blessés,
La folie,
Je suis libre.

Hope

I cannot help but stop and look at the woeful hopeful.
Now misery is just the thing,
To get me wondering if having hope is sorrowful.

I saw the brief appearance of my generation destroyed,
How I mourned the illusion.
Does the illusion make you shiver?
Does it?

The destiny that's cloudy,
Above all others is the goal.
Are you upset by how confused it seems?
Does it tear you apart to see the goal so unattainable?

They reach for it so hard!
Striving is foolish,
Yet now I want to reach my own goals,
To ascend to heights yet unreached by human hands.

I saw the hopes of my generation destroyed,
How I mourned it.
A chance is sure. A chance is predestinate,
A chance is dependable, however.

Yet the fire of hope can be rekindled
This fire will never truly go out.
Does the new chance make you shiver?
Does it?

Crystal- An Acrostic Poem

Calcite geodes radiate.
Real emeralds shim.
Yellow pearls teasel.
Set sapphires treasure.
Tiny gemstones reflect.
Artificial pearls sphere.
Liquid opals crank.

Grove- A Haiku

Mystical nightfall
A beautiful, calm grove stands
protecting the fox

Primrose- A Haiku

New break of the day
A first, vibrant primrose grows
beyond the poppy

Crystal Moon

Last wintry nighttime
A perfect, bright crystal shines
reflecting the moon

Humanity

Tired, Broken
Your face, My face
Mine on you,
Your's on me,
You broke the only thing I had left,
My humanity.

New Picture

My sightless eyes,
My broken time,
My thoughtless mind.

You stole my sight,
You broke my time,
You left a blank slate,
In place of my mind.

And then in their place,
You gave me your eyes,
You gave me your time,
You took a bright crayon,
And drew a new picture,*
A better picture,
On the blank slate,
Making a masterpiece,
From the garbage heap.

Insanity

Insane, broken.
This is my reality.
My life.
My truth.
But...

Even in the broken,
The hurting,
The insanity,
I am free.

Curiosity

They say,
That curiosity,
Can kill,
Yet I believe,
That a lack thereof,
Can do far more damage,
Than curiosity itself.

Solidarity

Pandemic

global catastrophe 
international panic
universal chaos
yet in the midst of the pandemonium
we find ways to calm down
in the midst of isolation
we find ways to connect
and in the midst of the chaos
we find ways to be kind
to show love
to spread love
to promote peace
and to help others

Soul Reader

my souls scriptitation*
always endless
sometimes tragic
hope-filled
love-filled
you picked up
the dusty old book,
the book that holds my soul
dusted it off
and took the time to care
to love what I loved
to laugh when I laughed
to cry when I cried
to hate what I hated
and to look past the broken exterior
to see the seed of hope still within

Broken Bonds

Torn
Shattered
Nothing Mattered

Heart Broken
Torn Open
Forgotten

My face 
Your face
A farce

Fake love
Fake trust
Bonds broken

True Strength is...

The will to resist the storm,
to fight the darkness,
to stand unbending before the wind,
and understand when to forgive, even when the world doesn't deserve it

 

Torn

Broken
Bloody
Bruised
the way you left me

Torn
Troubled
Trapped
in my own mind

You and your cruel love
Now I am an empty shell

Immortal

she promised that she would wait
for all time
she promised her immortal love
made it mine
said she'd never leave me
but I came home
and she's vanished
love turned to dust
found someone new
and broke her promise to me

Inner Magic

a sigh
a laugh
a smile
a tear
signs of a person
of the secret inside
of inner magic

On Courage

Courage

different, weird
the names she was called
courageous, brave
is what she became
when she looked in you eyes
and saw your pain

Fake Freedoms

When illusions are shattered
what will you see?
The true nature of freedoms
given to me
Of religion
Assembly
Of speech
Association
When illusions are shattered
what will you see?

How is it freedom?
When it's caged
How is it freedom?
If it's chained to the floor
It is freedom no more

To be free is to fly 
With the wind in the sky
Break the cage
Cut the chains
Let me go

 

Heartfelt Transformation

Broken Heart 
Glass Shards 
New Beginning 
New Start 

My Heart 
My Shards
My Beginning 
My Start

My transformation 
Was your fault

Remember(Quote-to-Poem)

And as time flows on
Memories slowly disappear
And as feelings shift
People start to drift
Yet My Heart Will Always Remember

 

Love in Words

Lost Boy

I look at you and see perfection
You're lost in space
I look at you and see something I need
You don't care
I tried so hard to make you notice
You aren't aware I exist
Now I'm the lost one

To The Stars And Back

He's the one I love
Who's stayed true through it all
Who promised me the world to hold
And made good on it
Who promised his loyalty
And never leaves my side
He loves me to the stars and back
And maybe even beyond
He'll love me even after time unravels
Even after eternity shatters
Because 
He understands my pain
My scars
My loneliness
And was the only one to say, "Why don't we be lonely together?"

The Boy I Loved

The boy I loved is gone
Lost in space and time
My broken heart unhealing
May never love again
He never looked at me
The way that I looked back
Never felt my longing
Never longed back
He's gone now
The boy I thought I loved
And in his place a boy
Who looks at me
The way I look at him
Who longs for me 
The way I long for him
Who loves me to the stars and beyond
And who I know will never ever leave my side

The Truth

I never tell the truth
the truth that hides inside
people ask if I'm okay
and I'll reply I'm fine
but deep inside I'm broken
and struggleing to survive
deep inside I'm crying
and struggling to stay alive
people see the struggle
and shrug and walk away
and when they don't 
and try to help
the struggle goes away
I strengthen my fake feelings
suppressing the ones inside
retreating to a safe hidden spot
where in my mind
I can be free

The Vistas Beyond

The Outside World

I sit and stare at the world beyond, the world that hurries and scurries around. That world is one that I am content to just watch, of the world but not in the world. I wish, not for the first time for quiet meadows to replace the city squares outside my window.

Wind

Blow strong
Break tree
Reach long
Always free

Endless flow
Fly now
Continued blow
Tree bough
 

I Wish

I wish that people would listen
To what I have to say
But when I do
I'm broken
By what they have to say
Because they think I'm stupid
That I can't understand
That because I'm young 
I haven't come 
To face reality

Lost Love

Girl
The boy I love walks away
He only has eyes for her
I scream, "Why world?"
But my cry goes unheard

Boy
The one I hoped would like me
Has seen a different man
I whisper, "Who will love me now?"
And the world says, "The one who never stoped loving you, even as you walked away."

Silent Sorrow

Tears fall
Heart breaks
Leave it all
More fakes

Trust broken
Blind now
Eyes opened
Why now

No ears to hear
No eyes to see
No hearts to touch
When sorrow goes unspoken

Little Miracles

I never really noticed
the really little things
was never filled with wonder
when I heard the little birds sing
now my eyes are open
and like a little child
I wake up and can't stop smiling
when I hear the little birds sing

Inner Voice

everyone has a voice
a voice inside their head
that little voice that tells them
they're doing something wrong
and sometimes, just sometimes
when they cry themselves to sleep
they can hear
inside their ear
another little voice
telling them they're special 
and that someone cares
 

Questions to be answered

Does life have meaning?
Why does the sun set?
How does my brain function?
Is there something more after death?

Back To School

Back to a place
I'd hoped I'd never see
Through these never hallowed halls
Full of misery
Parents stand by cheering 
And dreading another day
One that we look forward to
Oh hip hip hooray
For this is where as children
We lose our hopes and dreams
Minutes turn to hours 
Hours turn to days 
And all the while
We stop to smile 
Waiting for the day
When we no longer have to sit
In classrooms through the day

2019

Ingredients For A Good Year(remember to mix well)

1 new best friend
1 birthday invitation
1 boyfriend(if not available use wishful thinking instead)
1 bucket of courage per day(so 365 cans total. have a few extra just in case)
10 cans of bully-be-gone(may end up needing more[if not available yelling and screaming may work])
12 new tiny miracles a day to make sure you don't lose your will to live
And a lot of patience and bravery. You got this girl!

Feel Of The Seasons

Hear
Spring's soft opening breeze
Summer's ocean waves
Autumn's rustling leaves
Winter's pale silence

Feel
Spring's sense of new life
Summer's harsh hot sun
Autumn's slow death
Winter's fast close

Touch
Spring's soft new petals
Summer's bright green grass
Autumn's crunching foliage
Winter's bare branches

Smell
Spring's pollen filled sky
Summer's hot breeze
Autumn's swift chill
And winter's cold wind
 

Living on My Own Terms

They say I need to go to school
Have an education
They say I have to get good grades
To get a perfect score

But I'm not a robot
Not programed to follow orders
I'm the variable in their equation
Bound to change

Because I don't want to live a boring life
Doing the same thing everyday
If anyone gets a say in my destiny it's me
Because I'm living on my own terms

Caged Personality

I hide behind a face
A face that isn't mine
I hide because
I show who I am
And all I recieve is pain
I trust people with my true identity
And they throw it back into my teeth
People aren't ready for me
The crazy uncontrolable person I am
Maybe they'll never be ready
But when they are
I'll set myself free

Words

I hate 
The way
People say
It's okay to cry
When whenever I do
They laugh
And say
Little girl
Forgotten

As if the words
That they use
Weren't meant to hurt
And break me down
To tear my heart
And steal my soul

They hate me
Because I'm different
I'm special
And others
Conform 
To the ways of the world
While I refuse to change

They hate me
When all I do is be me

My Name

My name is my identity
To destroy it is to destroy me
My name is my beliefs
To take it away is to leave me faithless
My name is my personality
To make it disapear is to leave me an empty shell
My name is me in one word
So don't misuse it

Rain or Shine

Cloudy or clear
Rain or shine
You are my light
Just let your love shine
When I'm in trouble you come my way
Let me cry on your shoulder
And the tears go away
 

The Darkness Inside

My thoughts comdem the bully
My words try the guilty
My actions imprison the wrong
But none can know of another scource of darkness
The darkness that is my mind

Opposites

Light and dark
Hope and dispare
Life and death
Two sides of the same coin

Yin and yang
Lost and found
Confidence and insecurity
You can't have one without the other

When You Come Home(song)

You promised me a dance, when you come home
You promised me, you'd never let me go
You promised me a dance, when you come home
You promised me, you'd stay by my side through it all

You promised me a song, when you come home
You promised me, a way back to you on my own
You promised me a song, when you come home
You promised me, you'd never leave me on my own
Once again

The Way Home

Through long lonely deserts
and wild forests

Through fields filled with flowers
and deep dark canyons

Thats the way home

Silence

My silence speaks louder than words
When I stand, and still go unnoticed
When I leave, and go unmissed
When I cry, and go uncared for

My silence speaks louder than words
When I smile, and recieve nothing in return
When I laugh, and none laugh with me
When I dance, and not one person joins in

My silence speaks louder than words
When I know my life will make me lose hope
When my only comfort is the world of my imagination
And when when I die no one comes to my funeral
 

Flower for the Season

Spring's soft pastels
Lilacs abound
Showing it's delecate beauty
Breaking through the last snow of winter

Summer's bright pigments
Iris' explode with colour
Petals reaching for the bright summer sun
Vibrant after springs soft showers

Autum's reds and golds
Lily's curving petals
Chill autum breeze blows through
Shivering after summers hot sun

Winter's silent beauty
Rose's crimson shows
The one spot of colour in a white landscape
Fading after autums swift leave

Hero's Rise(first chapter)

In a dark rancid sewer, a man watched three children open their eyes for the first time. Three sets of eyes stared back at him from the shadows. One had ice blue cat eyes, another had neon green dragon eyes, and the last child had eyes that were bottomless black pools. The man smiled and picked up the first child, who had stripes, cat ears, and a tail. "You will be called Tigress, my dear wild cat," the man stated fondly. Putting her back, he picked up her sister, who had dragon wings and a matching tail, saying, "and you my fierce firebreather, you will be Dragoness! Lead them well, my daughter." Lastly he picked up their gilled and finned brother, staring at him with sorrow in his eyes. "Oh my dear Delphin, I'm sorry for what they'll make you do to your sisters. I wish I could be there for you, but I can't." Putting Delphin down, he addressed...

Written About Between Shades Of Grey(A Novel)

Comfort, torn away
Friendship, lost today
Day, turned to night
Hear, my lonely cry

Hope, turned to dust
Faith, lost to us
Weak, with dispare
Wait, and beware

Light, fades away
Walls, all around
Fear, rules today
Time, goes on

Personality Poem

Pink for my thoughts
Blue for my soul
Red for my heart
Just let it all go

Thoughts are strong
Dominant, delicate
Pink embodies

Soul is calm
Cautious, quiet
Blue shows

Heart rules all
Big, bold, 
Red burns

The Badlands

    I walk up the dry creek bed, then pause. Staring up at the star filled sky, the badlands stretching out around me. Bats dive through that beautiful star filled sky unconcerned with my intentions. Silent wind blows over fossils that are millions of years old. Phred the rock camel sits serenely, unaware of the world around him. As I climb up to the top of a huge hodoo I smile. The stars shine so bright because in spite of the war and and hurt on the ground the sky still finds reasons to smile. At the top I join the wind in its endless dance throughout the canyon. For like the sky, I will always find a reason to smile.

Of My Homeland(Sonnet)

of snow covered mountains strong, tall and bold
when explored at last, icy mountain sighs
with their cold stories waiting to be told
as all around it the earth slowly dies

prairies, lengthy, golden, verdant, and tall
the sweet smell of freshly cut wheat surrounds
when harvest time rolls around in the fall
the plains resound with silence that's unwound

blue ribbons of water cut through the land
like lines and signs they're banding the ground
as if sidewinder snakes slip through the sand
the rivers spiral and circle around

black water streams and flows, letting us know
that we have to be smart, else it'll blow