I spit out words onto an innovation called paper hoping they all make sense...
I'm short.
so-called "depressant writer"

Message from Writer

Hope you're having a great day :)

"Be careful who you pretend to be. You might forget who you are."

Published Work

Forgotten Pains

rolling off cheeks.
They glisten in the sun,
A million hands
to catch them
they fall.

What about my diamonds?
My pearls?
My pain,
dripping down my cheeks?
I was there to care
for you.
I was there to help you.
I was there to share
your pain,
your agony.

But now, 
even if it's my pain,
my agony,
my distress,
I remain forgotten.
Forgotten at the depths 
of your followers.
Nothing but a servant,
helping you endlessly.
Nothing but 

My feelings.
Do you even care?
Too consumed in your own happiness,
something I envy.
Consumed in your own desires,
something I lack.
Consumed in your own wants,
admiration--you name it.

I envy all of you.
Your imperfections,
slowly becoming
your perfections. 

I'm consumed
in my own trauma,
in my own grief, 
in my own woes.
In my own wounds,
tearing away
endlessly at
the seams
I tried to mend,
too late...


Merry Christmas! Yep, I'm pretty sure the title says it all :) Oh, happy new year too :D

40 FOLLOWERS??!!!!! Ctrl-c , Ctrl-v :D

... Wow, thanks for your support ppl's!! I never thought I would get to 40, currently at this moment! Welp, I guess I have 40 more friends than I used to :D Thanks to everyone on WtW and I want to let you all know that I've had and hopefully will continue to have an excellent time here!!! 

In this case, here are some shoutouts!! (Ctrl-c , Ctrl-v  :)
Luna Lemon
Unknown Boy
AJ - Izzy
Izzi C. Moonlight
Nicole H. 
Gabriel Goodwin
Just a thought...
Big Blue
Chi Chi Zhao
Mary Wall
Joyanna Holtz

Yayyyy! Go check out all these fab ppl :D (Merry Christmas to all & a happy new year! :)


OK, guys... I may be continuing playing an instrument soon. I'm struggling to choose between trombone or clarinet. In grade 5, we were given a choice of what instrument we would like to play. My first choice was clarinet & 2nd was trombone. I got trombone, but I really really wanted the clarinet.

So, I played trombone from grade 5-8. Now I'm in grade 9, and I'm really struggling on which one to choose. I half-know trombone, but I'm not amazing at it. I was thinking to try the clarinet but I'm not sure if it will be easy since I'm originally a brass player.

(I also think it would look good on my resume if I knew how to play 2 instruments.) However, trombone may be a little easier to learn for me since I already know it & I was part of many bands... 
Please help, I'm not sure anymore.
Thanks, Mangolover :D


  I walked upon, to rest on a vast expansion of grass. A muddy hill staring at the colorful hues and vibrant shades of red. Red, to remind me to forget...
            I planned each and every step. I was trembling as I walked my way down the narrow alley splashing through the puddles of rainwater from last night. I looked down at my white wet flannel shirt only to see it was crimson red. Wait. I blinked, trying to get the image out of my head and looked again. This time, it was just wet from splashes of water. I was confused all of a sudden but then realized it was probably my own imagination sparking the image. 
   "Silly me", I muttered to myself. I knew it wasn't real, I was only hallucinating. 
             I reached my house, knowing the door was open. No one was home, as usual. As I took off my boots to put them...



Better - Khalid
Idfc - Blackbear & Deadroses
Lovely - Khalid & Billie Eilish
Stressed out - Twenty One Pilots
Youngblood - 5 Seconds of Summer
Fire - Peking Duk
Let you down - NF
Without me - Halsey
Finesse - Cardi B & Bruno Mars
Heathens - Twenty One Pilots


They enter and never exit your head
ridiculing you of the fact that you're not good enough,
for you never will be.

1 in 100 are positive,
the rest lay as negative imperfections,
stranded and circling the top of our minds.

that, later on, become facts,
judging us, mocking us, teasing us.

Once the word "depression" enters in,
there's no way of getting it out.
It resides within your deepest of memories,
"am I really good enough?"

However, we never realize the fact that,
these are just thoughts.
They are meant to play with us.
But when these thoughts come and haunt us in reality,
It kills our emotions the most,
depriving us of life.


#paperbird q&a--Mangolover

what's the story behind your profile picture? 
Mangos! Love 'em.

when you start a "free writing" piece, do you like the font better when it's the editing font or the published font? 
I like the published font better. It just looks nicer to me :)

what movie scarred you for life as a child?  does it still freak you out? 
I actually haven't been really scared of horror movies; I find them pretty interesting to watch & love the "suspence"

look up "horoscope personalities."  which one fits you? 
My original horoscope actually fits me pretty well itself; cancer that is.

do you consider yourself to a good writer? (be honest) 
Wellllllllllllll no. I'm just a novice but I really want to improve!!

so, as mentioned earlier, the q&a trend was all the rage in September/October.  do you know who started it? 
Nope. Would love to know :D

what's one popular franchise you think is downright bad? 

Notice Me

Notice me.
I don't want to disappear anymore.
I want to be noticed.
I want to be someone.
I'm tired of being the kid who sits alone,

I don't want to be judged by my appearance anymore,
the way you all stop and stare.
It really hurts.
This world is really a cruel place,
we live to gain, 
we cry to lose.
We always want more, never having enough.
Why can't we appreciate for once?
Why can't I be appreciated for once?

My appearance shouldn't define me,
for I am simply hiding behind a face.
I sit there longingly,
but you judge me for being distorted.
Distorted in a way that makes me different,
and as you call it,
'the weird kid'.

I feel desperate to just be noticed.
I feel desperate for you to just look my way.
On the inside, I cry,
but you won't know,
for I sit



Milk & Tears

Today I drank my emotions,
A cup of milk and tears,
reminding me to forget the past.


I stared ahead
at a girl
with curly brown hair
dyed blue at the tips.
The dye made her hair
and rough to the touch.
Oh, how she wishes to get it back,
all straight and smooth.
Nothing but a desire.

I stared at the distorted features
this girl in front of me.
She looked a pain,
a beggar for sympathy,
a useless brat 
craving for pity.

I stared into her eyes,
once remembering
how bright they would shine,
galaxies of all different shades.
Now they sat there 
as two lumpy stones,
dragging the weight of her eyelids,
drooping them down.

The girl in front of me
was no one
but myself.
A hopeless loser,
crying in front of the mirror.

A mirror;
A truth to show you
who you are.
A truth we deny
but can't help accepting
the flaws
the imperfections
the way we abuse makeup
and plastic surgery.

All those useless desires we wish for,
however, ...


I'll admit my heart's artificial,
but that doesn't mean I have no feelings.
You make it seem as if it were a big deal,
as if I have no emotions.
As if I'm a human slave,
here to do all your work.
You treat me like
an unfamiliar person;
even though I've known you all 
from first grade.
You never care about
my thoughts;
you're too concerned with your looks
and flawless features.

All the makeup you put on every morning;
it's all fake;
it's all artificial.
All the stories you conjure up
to impress others;
they're all fake.
Remember all the false deceits you spread,
owning all those techy gadgets
and four houses?
Well, they're all lies.
All of them.
All fake excuses that make me seem poor.
all artificial reasons for you to bully me.
If you guys can all be fake, 
why am I tortured
for my artificial heart?
For my glass eye,
that can still cry

#spicephilosopherQ&A -- Mangolover

1. Do you have a favorite line from a movie/TV show/book? Why? 
I'm actually not sure/good either at remembering stuff XD

2. Describe your ideal outfit. 
Black hoodie, ripped jeans, shoes? Well I wanna wear shoes as long as they're comfortable.(I'm really picky on comfortness)

3. If you could dye your hair any color, what would it be? Or would you choose to not dye it? 
I would probably choose to dye it a deep auburn or burgundy (only at the tips...)

4. What's one fandom you can theorize over for hours? (So if someone asked you "What's (insert fandom here)?", you'd go all out and explain every single detail until the person in question is well versed in it.) 
Fablehaven. Done.

5. Do you believe in horoscopes or not? Why? 
Not too much, but they are really cool

6. What's a food you love that other people don't? 
I'm not sure on this one, but I'm confused about why a...

July 18, 2020

July 18, 2020. This day is after my 17th birthday, that will take place in exactly two years. This day will also mark the day that I plan to venture into another world where the others have gone, somewhere up, somewhere even farther than the point in space last discovered by human existence. I hope to join them too; ergo I eagerly await for that day, the day my mind and soul will finally settle and remain at peace. The bell jolted me awake, and I realized I was lost in my own thoughts for way too long. I stood up, only to hand in my chemistry test with the last question remaining unfinished; unfinished like they all were usually. Right now, I was failing science and I realized that when report cards came out, I would be in big trouble. I really should have gone and contacted guidance for help, but then again, who has the time and patience to...

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry.
I really am.

I'm sorry I wasn't your ideal daughter
nor your ideal first child.
I'm sorry that I wasted so much of your time
not even listening to you when you explained
all the math and things I was stuck on.
I'm sorry I was such a disappointment 
being so carefree all the time.
I'm sorry I didn't get into all those fancy private schools
not even passing the gifted test.
I'm sorry I ever even existed
just bringing more pain and sorrow into your life.
I'm sorry I never got any decent grades with 99% averages
like all the other good, ideal kids did.
I'm sorry I fell into the terrible wrath of depression
not talking enough, or talking too much.
I'm sorry I asked for all those devices
I just wanted to fit in like the other kids do.
I'm sorry I listen to music
when I'm supposed to be studying.
I'm sorry you had...

#paperbirdcontest UNFATHOMABLE

Stitches. They ran across me, needle and thread sowing through and in my skin. I prayed to be strong, I prayed to overcome this, but I knew it was that shady gray area that would determine my future.

                                                                                     ... PAST ...        

            I was told I had a pretty straightforward mind, but last night, It seemed as if it were a tunnel I had yet to dig deeper through. The next morning, I shot straight up from my bed and took a quick glance at my chest. Nothing. Good. It was all bare and pale like how chests normally are. It really all started by that re-occurring dream that gave me the chills almost every single night. It always starts off very tranquil...


I’ve always wanted an average life, living in an average house, going to an average school in an average country, growing up to be an average individual. I’ve dreamed of this fantasy my whole life, knowing it would never come true. From the young ages of childhood, bullying was one of the leading causes of pain that have followed me and will continue to monitor me for eternity. The reason for this pain was due to the lack of color in my skin. In other words, I lived a pallid and colorless life. During winters, everyone in my class jokes around with me, always telling me to stay inside during recess for fear of losing me outside in the snow as they were scared that they weren’t going to find me because of my pale complexion. Ever since I’ve been under the fear of making friends, so I don’t bother or plan to make some anytime soon....