Silver Pen

United States

Christian/LOVE Jesus/she/her/big family/scifi/fantasy/Minnesotan/good books/beautiful words/wit/Halo/notebooks and pens/old book smell/coffee/ royalty/honor/love

Message from Writer

I came here to love, learn, laugh, and hone my skills.
I hope to return the favor to my fellow Write the Worldarians.
The pen is mightier than the sword -- especially if it's launched from an elastic band. ~Me and my awesome sister Éowyn

Peer Reviews

The Importance of Daydreaming

FREE WRITING

This was an excellent piece: well-written, smooth, formal, yet personal. I could probably use this as inspiration for my school papers.

over 2 years

Iusticia, the thief's job.

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

You'll just need to polish up some typos, and I think this story will be ready to go. Good job!

almost 3 years

4 AM

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

I really liked reading this, but I was left with some pesky questions that detracted from my reading experience. Also, you need to add paragraphs! It makes the story run together and get confusing when you don't have paragraphs to separate main ideas and different speakers. Other than that, this was enjoyable to read! Thank you for writing this! Any chance of a sequel?

almost 3 years

wasteland kids

FREE WRITING

I love the descriptive figurative language that you packed into this. It's rich as pound cake with that. I'm impressed by your use of the word "cacophony" -- I thought it was a dying word. Sorry, I would be more enthusiastic, but this poem does not leave you in a frame of mind conducive to exclamation marks.

almost 3 years

The English Language

PROMPT: Speech Writing Competition 2018

By the way, here's a few reasons for the complexity of the English language. Our language is actually a composite of many languages, chiefly Celtic, Latin/Greek, and French. We also picked up some words from various formerly English colonies, as well as immigrants in the US. This helps explain homophones and multiple words for the same thing. As for silent letters, we have an unusual invention to thank for that. Can you guess? The printing press! Those words used to be pronounced the way they were spelled. But, the pronunciation got simpler and the spelling didn't because there's a right way and a wrong way to spell words. (I got this from a textbook I technically shouldn't have read yet....technically.)

almost 3 years

thoughts

FREE WRITING

I love the descriptive language you use! And I'm impressed that you did a rhyme scheme. Not sure about the rhythm, though. "but you're pure as long as you put up a fight" sounds a little bumpy to me, rhythm-wise. A tad too long, perhaps.

almost 3 years

Slipping Time

PROMPT: Speech Writing Competition 2018

Keep up the good work! I love this!

almost 3 years

​My Life Without the Internet

PROMPT: Unplug

I pray that God will give you the strength and self-confidence to never again believe that you must perform. God bless!

almost 3 years

Never Give Up

FREE WRITING

I know this isn't a comment, but how do you issue announcements and such? Is that just something that opens up when you start following people or gain a large enough following?

almost 3 years

War of the Fallen

FREE WRITING

This is a story with real potential, and I would love to see it continued. I did notice some grammatical errors. I'll see if I can figure out how to highlight them and add comments to tell you what's wrong. OK, no highlighting, so I'll try not to sound patronising as I explain this. I've noticed that you sometimes use adjectives instead of nouns, like common, Democratic, and economic. You'll want to add nouns after the adjectives or change the adjectives to nouns. You also keep changing verb tenses when you don't have to, such as when you describe the Town Center, which can be a little confusing. You really don't need double negatives like "but nor" or "did not believe neither" for three reasons: it can be confusing, it doesn't sound natural, and it's not good grammar. That said, I sometimes like to use double negatives in dialogue to add emphasis. Take that, grammarians! Lastly, your sentence structure and punctuation aren't grammatically correct, so they detract from the smoothness of your writing. I'd suggest intensively brushing up on grammar - how to use words correctly, sentence types and punctuation, etc. Then? Take those rules you learned, use them most of the time, and break them only to enhance your style. In closing, I hope that my advice helps and that I came across as concise and business-like instead of snarky or snobbish. If I did, I apologize. Just remember that your style is good; it just needs a little sanding to be great. Bravo!

almost 3 years

Choices

PROMPT: Unconventional

Love this! You're right, each one of us has a responsibility to use our faculties to build up our fellow men. Just a question, though, when you say "we are all of the above," do you mean we're all the good things or all the things, bad and good? May want to clarify that if you ever edit this again, y'know?

almost 3 years