You do all these things
Little, teeny, tiny things 
That even you don’t notice 
But I do 
Each and every one

How when we get sodas you push the tab up just until it’s perfectly vertical 
How your eyes and nose scrunch up when you laugh
How you don’t like wearing socks 
How you stare at me and smile when I catch you
How your voice changes when you speak to me
How it gets softer and gentler
How when...

Stand up for yourself!
Yet you punish me when I do against you
Be strong!
Yet I’m constantly torn down
Be independent!
Yet you won’t let me go 
You don’t need that boy! 
Yet I do because without him I’d have no idea what love is 
Don’t apologize so much!
Yet if I don’t you won’t speak to me
Its okay to be human!
Yet I shed a tear and your only words of “comfort” are ‘chill out’ and ‘here...

I go through each day. 
Every task
No matter how minuscule 
Imagining I’m doing that very task
With you by my side. 

As I’m making lunch, it’s for the two of us; not only me. 
And as I work I have the blanket spread over onto the space next to me on the couch. Covering the legs of the memory of you beside me. 
I feel the ghost of your arm around me.
As I brush my teeth you’re beside...

I lay in my bed with him next to me. Popcorn and soda. A perfect movie night or so it would seem. My problem is yes he is next to me. But only on a screen. 
I promise to be there. I swear to cheer him on. At the first swim meet of a season he's been preparing for for months. But my internet is awful and the stream won't start. 
So I sit here waiting. And while I'm used...

I’ll never complain when you’re sad
I won’t add to the weight that you bare.
When you’re upset I’ll be okay 
So I can give you a shoulder to lean on that won’t break. 
I’ll keep the bad inside and I won’t let it free 
Not until after you feel better 
Not until I’ve done for you 
What you always do for me 

I find it amazing
The things you’ve shown me to be true 
That love isn’t supposed hurt
And that Rascall Flats was right when they sang
”God bless the broken road that led me straight to you” 
Because my road to you is broken and ragged. It is a filthy, crumbling road, covered in pieces of jagged glass, and pieces of broken heart.
And I’ve walked that road with bare, bloody feet for as long as I can remember. 
Or...

“Slow down” they screech. 
“You’re going nowhere fast.”
“At least enjoy the ride.”
“Don’t force it.”
“Don’t change.”
“Don’t be clingy.”
“Don’t push him away.”
“You’re scaring him.”
“He loves you.” 
“He doesn’t.”
“He’ll leave you.” 
“There are hundreds of girls he could like better than you.” 
“Being there for him all the time? A little much too fast isn’t it?”
“You only love him like this because he’s the first person to show you any affection.”
-
Who said...

I’ve gotten so good at faking it
sometimes I believe I’m okay too