Tarah Connolly

United States

Peer Reviews

A letter to my best friend.

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2020

Hi happygiggles - Thank you for sharing this letter. I can tell that it captures a really difficult time for you that I'm sure will resonate with others. Keep refining the focus and big ideas of your letter, using specific details and pointed language to tell the stories that mean the most to you and Potato! Great start, Tarah

24 days

One Last Time Together

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2020

Dear Aussieinthehouse123- Thank you for sharing this letter. It captures something difficult and real. I'm sorry for your loss. I would encourage you to take this draft as a starting point and break open the details, stories and emotions that you hold in connection to each point about your Oma. Her history, her age, her relationship to you. This will give readers a sense of both of you and the unique bonds you formed with her. Great start, Tarah

24 days

I Love You To The Moon And Back

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2020

Dear LoreleiMart - Thank you for sharing this with us! It's clear that you are a big fan of your mom, and she deserves the patient adoration of a letter. Keep unpacking the why, when and how of your love and appreciation by getting specific. This will tell us more about your relationship and give the reader concrete memories and shared experiences to reflect on through your lens of gratitude and affection. I can't wait to learn more about this positive and impactful relationship! Great start! Tarah

24 days

I will see you soon Grandfather

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2020

Hi Harper -- Thanks for sharing this fictional letter with us. I can imagine it as part of a substantial plot and imagined world. I hope I'm correct in picking this out as historical, based on clues from the tone and setting of the place. Consider making that more explicit or dropping hints about when this is happening, especially as you consider unfolding the details of Evangeline's connection to her grandfather. Building out these contextual pieces will make this story all the more vibrant and realistic for readers. You have a great start! Tarah

24 days

heartfelt letters to the year i wish would disappear (feedback greatly appreciated!)

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2020

Hi Mia -- Thanks for sharing this collection of letters with us. I'm with you in this experience; 2020 has been a doozy and I have a lot of the same questions for it! Clarify the tense and timing of your writing so that readers understand whether to interpret this as real-time notes or something that is a collective reflection. Don't shy away from big language and rich vocabulary; this will help build your imagined character of 2020 and capture your take on the year in really explicit ways! Great start, Tarah

24 days

My best friend( Please review)

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2020

Dear mason wong -- Thank you for sharing this letter with us! While many of us have had similar experiences of loneliness and listlessness in quarantine, you seem to be in a unique position of making this big transition to high school while trying to keep up these meaningful friendships! Keep working this letter as a platform to acknowledge and face the enormity of that! You have a clear voice, a close friend, and a captive audience. Adding thematic focus and some more informal language could bring this submission to the next level! Great start, Tarah

25 days

July 5th, 2020

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2020

Hi avelita -- Thank you for sharing this letter! You write with such attentiveness to the moment. I relate to much of what you described. Your letter is a fabulous foundation. Keep exploring the ways you highlight and celebrate your relationship with Ari. Help them understand why they are the chosen recipient of this note, and what to do next with this information! This will bring your letter alive! Great start, Tarah

25 days

But the earth kept spinning

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2020

Hi Ronny -- For starters, I am so deeply sorry for the loss of Addy, your grandfather, and your friend's father. Loss is not easy; writing helps, and you write about it all with maturity and depth. Thank you for sharing that with us. Keep toying with the overall valence of this letter -- I read it with a sense of hopeful growth and some silver lining in the lessons you've learned through this, but I may be misinterpreting. Tinker with the tone so that readers can really feel where you're at in processing these heavy things. Keep it up, and stay healthy. Tarah

25 days

A Letter to My Cousin, Abigail / draft for expert review

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2020

Hi Kit-Kat! Thanks for sharing this letter. We're glad you're here on WtW and participating in competitions! Keep spreading the word! As for your writing, you have a great structure and base for your letter. You tell of many incidents and developments in your day-to-day that may be relevant to your cousin. Peel back the why of sharing those points - what is it about Abigail in your life, or the impact of each of those experiences that make it meaningful for you to share them? Focus on transforming this letter from a telling to a showing and it will be a proper contender in the competition! Great start, Tarah

25 days

goodbye (for now)

PROMPT: Letter Writing Competition 2020

Dear "Claire" -- Thank you for sharing this letter. I'm sorry to read that you have lost a friend in Genevieve; these changes can be very difficult to navigate. You write about it with clarity and compassion, sharing glimpses into "Gen's" world that illuminate some of the ways in which you might have grown apart, as well as what always brought you together. Keep refining the tone of your message, though, so that your stance on these reflections (sarcastic, passionate, ironic, angry) is crystal clear! Tarah

26 days

Affection

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2020

Hi LanaEvermore -- Tough for me to comment and offer feedback for the competition and to follow the rubric since your piece is a very different format than was set up for this competition. However, you have some really rich and well-crafted writing here that I know has potential to meet the brief! Take a step back and think about how you can present these themes in a form inspired by some of the examples given on the competition page, or even zoom in on one of the foods you reference here. Given the lyricism of your language, I can imagine an entire expository piece on the cookies that coat sugar on your teeth! Thank you so much for sharing this submission. Excited to see how you revise! Tarah

about 2 months

Rewinding the Reel

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2020

Hi theheadphonesgirl -- Thank you for bringing us into your family with this piece! I am excited to see your drafts evolve. Play around with the organization and timeline of your piece to focus on clarity, then go wild with sensory details about tindora in all of its forms! This is a celebration of the food and of your family, and I know that you will continue to craft this piece to fully reflect that! Great start, Tarah

about 2 months

The Way I Choose to Want to Be

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2020

Hi Hudson -- Thank you for sharing this piece. The relationships we have between food and body are complicated for a lot of people, and this is a courageous topic to take on! As you revise and refine, focus in on the personal (what is YOUR unique experience), focusing on the positives and your own growth. Then, hone in on the true specialness of food and the joy it brings us with pointed language. You have a great framework -- keep tinkering with these themes and your writing style! Keep it up, Tarah

about 2 months

Live, Love, Laugh, Go Banana's For Banana Bread!

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2020

Hi ChocolateKiwi - Thank you for sharing this piece! It is so thoughtful and really a great start with writing about food. You touch on themes about food production and the labor that goes into it, plus the relationships that are fostered through food. Keep searching for perfect anecdotes and scenes from your life to reinforce your assertions of food's power to connect people, and consider doing some more research about where our food comes from! This is an excellent frame for ongoing depth and reflection. Keep it up! Tarah

about 2 months

Hope in Banana Bread

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2020

Hi there! Thank you for sharing this piece with us -- it clearly addresses a tough topic and some loaded memories. I'm glad you have your father and a banana bread recipe on hand to interface with those memories and celebrate your mother! This draft is an excellent start, and I know that some attention to the factors of time and change as a theme in this piece. There is depth there that you've started to knock on. I can't wait to see how this piece evolves! Tarah

about 2 months

family dinners? (please review;)

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2020

Hi Roxy -- Thank you for sharing this piece which centers on food. It is evident that it is a charged topic within your household. Food rituals are a really meaningful thing, and this piece demonstrates your keen self-awareness to that meaningfulness. Now that you've got this draft, tease apart the message you really want to send. Is it one of hope? Sadness? Envy? Is it a call to action to your family? Yourself? Your future self? A combination of clarity in the structure of your piece, plus some further exploration of word use and vocabulary will help bring these ideas into focus on this compelling draft. Keep it up! Tarah

about 2 months

To Share A Meal

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2020

Hi TKD -- Thank you for sharing this piece of food writing. You've got me wanting to participate in langar, big time! Keep exploring the way you describe the whole of this meaningful cultural experience - the feel of the floor everyone sits on, the textures of the desserts, the relief of a cold drink, perhaps? As you tinker with more of the food itself, keep an eye open for opportunities to build context and bring readers into the meal time with you. Great start!! Tarah

about 2 months

The White Mask

PROMPT: Playwriting Competition 2020

Hi maria's-dreams, Thank you for sharing this scene with us! I'm so curious if you have more scenes up your sleeve to build this out; it's evident from this snippet that you have imagined some complex characters and dense action. I would love to see more, so long as you are mindful of our community guidelines around some of the darker themes that are alluded to here. Keep up the fantastic, stylistic writing! Tarah

3 months

Soul of a Poet

PROMPT: Playwriting Competition 2020

Hi Isabel - Thank you for sharing this one act. You've got a great foundation, and I'm excited to see it evolve. You will need to take your draft out of writer duet for your final submission - all the writers are working in the constraints of the WtW interface so don't get too hung up on your formatting as long as you are clear and consistent! My comments are in WriterDuet at "Tarah Connolly," but for the next round of reviews, your text will need to be visible in Write the World. Great writing, and keep it up, Tarah

3 months

Baby Fever

PROMPT: Playwriting Competition 2020

Hi jashles! Thank you for sharing this play. I love this choice of a topic, as I know it will resonate with audiences as a deeply human struggle. Keep exploring your main characters and the sources of tension that they encounter in each scene - I know that there is more precision and nuance to come in your writing, even with this superlative start! Keep it up, Tarah

3 months

Michael and the Success Story

PROMPT: Playwriting Competition 2020

Hi rosewater - Thank you for sharing this scene. You've taken such a unique approach to presenting this story, and I would LOVE to see it presented on a stage. I think it has so much texture, humor, and humanity. Keep refining the resolution of the scene, as well as your use of language to really punctuate your one act play. Keep it up! Tarah

3 months

Sometimes you just need a friend

PROMPT: Playwriting Competition 2020

Hi alwayshannah! Thank you for sharing this scene with us. You've captured the awkward of a first date and invited us to meet some complex characters who mesh well with each other. I'm excited to see how you elicit even more nuance in their dialogue as well as the setting of the scene, plus develop the resolution of the interaction! This is a touching and compelling start! Tarah

3 months

Dritz Hotel

PROMPT: Playwriting Competition 2020

Hi wordsmith! Thank you for sharing this one act play. I am excited to see how you evolve the piece to deepen your characters, open up its thematic message, and tease apart dialogue that is inspired by those two dimensions! You have a great start here, Tarah

3 months

An unyielding struggle

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2020

Hi vikhram_2512! Thank you for sharing this piece with us! It reflects a very real experience for many young people currently, and I am sure it will resonate with them as it did with me! Keep exploring the identity of the speaker and play with ways to make that transparent in your writing. Great start! Tarah

4 months

MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2020

Hi nonriel - Thank you for sharing this piece - it is real and transparent and its meaning is clear. Keep tinkering with the way you will best reach a wide audience (or a very narrow one) with pointed and inventive language to take this piece to the next level! Excited to see a next draft, Tarah

4 months

We Are

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2020

Hi Emily - Thank you for sharing this mature and powerful poem. You've clearly done some deep thinking about the human experience - keep working through who the audience of this poem is, and work backwards from that to really specify the tone and meaning of the speaker's presentation. Keep it up! Tarah

4 months

Poems

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2020

Hi there! Thank you for sharing this reflection on the power of poetry! It is so fitting for this competition, and I'm so glad you have this outlet! Keep massaging the writing here by playing with some poetic devices and leaning into the possibilities of more precise vocabulary - as well as considering the who behind it all. You have a great start. Keep writing! Tarah

4 months

Finding Light

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2020

Hi Pigeon! Love this poem, you've got a really solid draft here. Keep tinkering with the language, pay attention to the minutiae of the rhyme scheme, and read it aloud to play with sounds! Tarah

4 months

Hope Tied Down by Memories

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2020

Hi Qlet_20! Thanks for sharing this poem. I think it needs a little big of work to really bring out the meaning of your writing - even if it isn't written right into the poem, take some time to think about the specific reasons why this poem is written -- who is it for, why now, and what is the big idea readers should take away? Great start, Tarah

4 months

Dirge for the Mayflies

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2020

Hi Tessa! This poem was a true delight. Keep experimenting with words and sounds to punctuate your poem with a few more poetic devices that will help bring out the nuances of your take on this season. You've got a great start, Tarah

4 months

"Purple Love"

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2020

Hi Maria - Thanks for sharing this insightful and personal poem. It is full of creative language and imagery - some of it packed with meaning, others a little more difficult to elucidate. Keep teasing out the best words to represent the meaning you want to convey -- and consider what specific motivating moments or emotions are driving the writing of this poem to begin with. Keep it up! Tarah

4 months

The Hearts of Strangers

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2020

Hi Ezekiel! Thank you for sharing this poem which is clearly reminiscent of a deeply personal experience. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem, especially with it's rhyme scheme and rhythmic tendencies. I'm excited to see it evolve! Tarah

4 months

Ode to Asphalt

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2020

Hi Ella! Thanks for sharing this piece of poetry! It is whimsical but emotional, personal but relatable. I am excited to see how you evolve the use of language to really dig into the feelings of this metaphor, and bring out the key details of who the players are in this ode. Keep it up! Tarah

4 months

The G-Word

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2020

Hi Lady Trewlany! Thank you for sharing this very personal piece, this is a big topic that many have written on. Revisit the competition guidelines to consider the relationship between the personal and the universal - I'm wondering how others might feel advocating for this same issue. And how would you respond to counterarguments? While that can be a tough conversation, I think looking at other lenses on the issue will strengthen your already-polished and well-done writing. Keep it up! Tarah

5 months

Reality

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2020

Hi poetic dreams - Thank you for sharing this rather philosophical piece! I think it has a lot of potential and you have clearly done some deep reflection ahead of writing this. To really bring it into the category of op-ed focus on the issue - what is the specific system, behavior, or process that you want to see changed? What needs to happen to bring people in touch with your conception of Reality? I also encourage you to revisit our community guidelines around sensitive material - make sure you are choosing content that is appropriate for all members of our community. Tarah

5 months

​THE PERCEPTION OF INDIAN EDUCATION IN PRESENT TIMES

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2020

Hi Samina! As an educator, I love to hear student's ideas about the education systems they are in. I'm a big fan of your ideas! Keep looking for sources to support your stance, and bridge your ideas from the local to the global. Review the forms of persuasion listed in the competition brief, and see where any of those could fit in to really bring your points home. Great start! Tarah

5 months

​Things I Learned in the Last Few Days

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2020

Hi Yuna -- Thanks for sharing this piece, it's clearly a very personal matter. In the context of the competition, I think it would be improved with a bit of clarity - who is your audience, what are you trying to convince them of, and what is the most basic set of evidence (from your life or other sources) that would persuade readers of that? Find focus and you will edit with ease! Keep up the great, thoughtful, reflective writing, Tarah

5 months

The Fourth Wave

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2020

Hi thecrazychatlady - Thanks for sharing this articulate and energized piece! You clearly have a strong stance on the matter and do a great job of backing up your thinking. I would encourage you to integrate some source material to really legitimize your argument, and address some of the comments I made in the text around clarity. Otherwise, this is a great draft! Tarah

5 months

an easy guide to toxic chemical contamination, us edition

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2020

Hi Jun - Thanks for sharing this passionate piece! You bring in research and history and really make a case for why we should be concerned about this chemical. I'm left wondering what solutions there are... consider if you have the space and the ideas to offer next steps or recommendations on the topic. This may turn your opinion into more tangible action. Food for thought! Keep it up, I'm excited to read a refined draft! Tarah

5 months

To Conquer A Fear

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2020

Hi Annabelle! Thanks for sharing this piece. I'm excited to see it evolve. You do a great job advocating for public speaking and overcoming that fear - this is definitely a topic that will resonate for many people. Work on tweaking your presentation to highlight an issue that is either more systematic or more personal than the general fear of public speaking. Being able to present a challenge where the problem is something bigger and outside of what's in people's heads will help build a more convincing and compelling argument. Keep it up, Tarah

5 months

16 year olds should have right to vote

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2020

Hi Polina! Thanks for sharing this take on an issue with big ramifications. You do a great job of bringing in the facts, relating this to current events, and using other examples to call this out as an outlier. I think there is some nuance to explore both in the logic of your argument and the creative presentation - bring in the emotion and get super clear about WHY you hold this opinion. What's the justification that is most important to you? Keep it up! Tarah

5 months

Restore Our Shores

PROMPT: Environmental Journalism Competition 2020

Hi Saadia - Thanks so much for sharing this piece! It's evident that you care deeply about conservation, and not just in theory. You've done the work! Thank you for setting an example of how we can all help our local environments. I challenge you to nuance the relationship between local and global, reader and writer here. Help us visualize the IRL, help us see ourselves in you so that we can imagine taking action in similar impactful ways. Keep it up! I'm excited to see this piece evolve. Tarah

6 months

Where Did the Snow Go?

PROMPT: Environmental Journalism Competition 2020

Hi there! Thanks so much for sharing this piece and for being open to feedback as you transition it from a speech to a written piece! This is a strong outline and start to really evolve your ideas and position on the topic. Each idea you introduce could become an entire book...I challenge you to find one or two ideas you share and really open up with more evidence, anecdotes, and personal takes on them so that the readers can find something specific to connect with. I also recommend integrating your citations into the writing as is typical for printed pieces. Keep it up! Tarah

6 months

Right hand: Oil.

PROMPT: Environmental Journalism Competition 2020

Hi zarina25! Thanks for sharing this take on the oil industry and its impacts. Clearly, it is close to home and meaningful to you. Keep focusing in on the reasons why this matters, and look to subject experts or recent events to support your opinion with pointed evidence. You have a strong start! Tarah

6 months

- Bubbles The Cat -

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Hi Noctivagus! Thanks for sharing this story - it is the beginning of an epic children's book! See my notes above about who your intended audience is - this doesn't feel like a toddler/young child storytime book, but more like a "beginning to read" book. Make sure you put energy into the right types of complexity - the detail and descriptions - rather than into the winding road of a plot that might lose a young readers' attention. Focus on the most compelling piece of this story and setting! Tarah

7 months

Miss. Bubblegum

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Hi SBURCh - Thanks for sharing this story! I wish I could be in Miss Bubblegum's class! I'm excited to see how this story evolves as you integrate more details and specifics about the sequence of events, the setting, the emotions of your characters, and the way this magical world unfolds! Focusing in on smaller components of this busy story will make it a stronger read for all. Tarah

7 months

Dream house

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Hi Joanna! Thank you for sharing this story. It is whimsical and literally dreamy. I'm excited to see it evolve. Focus on your narrative strategies (breaking the 4th wall, use of tense and person) to strengthen the style and flow of the piece, while working to highlight and articulate the lessons you hope readers will take away from this story. Great work! Tarah

7 months

Artful

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Hi Find_Myself_In_The_Flames - Thanks for sharing this story! I loved reading it and see so much potential. I'm mostly curious about Laura and her circumstances, which may or may not be something you want to explore in depth here. In any case, your style is on point for the genre and I can't wait to see how this draft evolves! Tarah

7 months

Santa Forgot

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Hi Joseph, Thanks for sharing this Christmas tale! I love seeing a new take on a classic story. You've got a great foundation, but you have an opportunity to dig into the finer details of the setting, characters, and the experience of each action in the story. Don't be afraid to add in words that might not seem "childish" - give them real, in depth descriptive language to grip onto! Tarah

7 months

An Embarrassed Robot

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Hi Jack! Thanks for sharing this story! It has some relatable and relevant themes for a children's book (kindness, being embarrassed, being open to learning and new experiences) and the writing is clear and clean. I primarily challenge you to investigate the role of the "narrator" and how much weight you give to that character and storyteller, as this is the character most members of your audience will attach and relate to. Tarah

7 months

Come With Me

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Hi girly_nerd123! Thanks for sharing this children's story. The prose is beautiful, however, I worry that much of this piece will be too abstract for young children. While we don't want to "write down" to children, we want to make sure there is enough detail and specificity in the story so that children, who have a limited set of experience, can grasp onto the concrete elements of a story to which they relate. Consider those thoughts, and keep massaging this story and its characters! Tarah

7 months

Flightless Fin

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Hi Cloudwyrms! Thanks for sharing this children's story. You have a great foundation and some really well chosen themes - being an outsider, how to solve problems, the power of friendship...it runs the gamut. Since there is a hint of fantasy here, make sure you're giving the audience proper access to the context and setting, and work on adding some depth to the characters and their relationships. That will take this story from being a fun read to a fundamental one for young children! Keep it up! Tarah

7 months

Violet the Sea Snail

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Hi praishja! Thanks so much for sharing this story, you have a great start here. I would encourage you to reflect on who your audience would be and put yourselves in their shoes - what kind of attention span do they have? How will they visualize and map this story to their own worlds? Should they be able to relate to the characters? What more would they need to know to engage with the story in that personalized and actionable way? Big themes and a fun setting! Keep it up! Tarah

7 months

We All Fight Sometimes

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Hi Hailey - Great work here. I love this selection of a theme as it will both resonate with children and offer them some comfort and opportunities to grow as they reflect on their own young relationships. Such a great topic. Dig into the way you convey emotions (maybe through illustrations? what does it look like when you have a disagreement on the playground?!?). That will further help readers - both children and adults - come to relate to the scenarios here. Tarah

7 months

A Dragons Tail

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Dear Writing for fun - This is definitely the beginning of a story that would capture the minds of young children! The fantasy elements are whimsical and suspenseful, which would certainly keep a child's attention. Expand on the structure of this story - who are the narrators, why are they telling this story, how did they invent it? Then, how could you build out the fantasy world where the Dragon is the menace? Tarah

7 months

A Very Strange Night

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Hi Katie! Thank you so much for sharing this story. You have such a fun and relatable start- the plot is playful but also thematically appropriate for young children. Keep toying with the wordplay and meter of the piece so that it flows in a sing-songy way. You have moments of that, but my intuition is to see that carry through the story. Consider it, at least. I'm excited to see your revisions! Tarah

7 months

The friend trap

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2020

Hi Ellie - I'll admit, I was so disappointed to see the ellipses! This has such a charming cadence and theme emerging, even in such a short sample. Keep working this! You've got a good foundation. Tarah

7 months

Sunsets on a Mid Day Sky

PROMPT: My December Competition 2019

Hi Everxcelestial! Thanks for sharing this piece. For starters, thank you for your candid writing about what can be a dark time for some. I would simply suggest that you remind yourself of our community guidelines and make sure that you are addressing these topics appropriately. Second, I challenge you to consider the impact of your final sentence -- how will readers take that, and will it always communicate what you hope it does? There's some untapped complexity there, and I encourage you to explore it. Keep up the great work, Tarah

8 months

Visions of Sugar Plums

PROMPT: My December Competition 2019

Hi cjcole - Thanks for sharing this piece! As a Bay Area native myself, I can related to and sympathize with the conflicting feelings about San Francisco around the holidays (my favorite thing is the lights on the skyscrapers downtown). You discuss a huge contrast, and I think you would do well to really articulate the challenges you see. What is the root of the problem, and how do you, personally, reconcile this with the happy times of the holidays? I'm interested to see you evolve this piece to evoke more and more about your own perspective and opinion on the state of affairs based on your unique experiences, and what that reveals to us all about human nature, holidays or not. Great start, Tarah

8 months

Gifts are Temporary; Family is Forever

PROMPT: My December Competition 2019

Hi mhuy - Thanks for sharing this story about family and quality time. You nail the style of personal narrative really well - keep digging into the small details that bring the story to life for readers! I point you to the notes about balancing "scene and summary" in the competition brief. You've got a great start! Tarah

8 months

Beneath the Cheery Christmas Chatter

PROMPT: My December Competition 2019

Hi misspermitted - Thank you for sharing this excellent piece of writing. You've clearly worked through some tough stuff to build this story. Please revisit the brief and consider how this writing fits into the genre of personal narrative - what tone, voice, and level of detail and context is most appropriate for this competition? You've got a great start, Tarah

8 months

Selfless December

PROMPT: My December Competition 2019

Hi m! Thanks for sharing this reflection on the spirit of the holiday season! I love that you are thinking about this theme - I know that with some wordsmithing and smoothing out of how this story is organized, your point of view will really shine through. Keep it up, Tarah

8 months

Darlings

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2019

Hi she's-got-a-story - What a remarkable start! You have complex characters, history to unfold, and conflict to resolve. The writing is clean and creative, bringing the reader in with smart details and a smooth style. Keep focusing on the ways in which this story feels alive! And make sure all of your character relationships are acknowledged, lightly explained, or attributed so that we can follow along with the relevant connections. Great start - Tarah

9 months

Pocket Change

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2019

Hi rearrang_exxx - Thanks for sharing this piece! You bring some dynamic characters and a pointed scene to life! Remember the guidelines for the site as you dig into the details and finer points of your writing. Also consider how you situate this scene as a representative of a larger story! What background or big picture information would help us get on board? Keep it up, Tarah

9 months

the path to healing is lined with thorns

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2019

Hi aryelee - Thanks so much for sharing this piece, which you note is of personal import and not easy to write. Kudos to you for tackling a tough topic. To really elevate this writing, I would spend some time evaluating the way you represent the setting and scenery, as well as mapping out the timing and transitions of the scene (scenes?). This will help readers feel connected and a part of the action. Great work, Tarah

9 months

harry the super pig story

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2019

Hi pepsi bepis - Thanks for sharing this story! I'm excited to learn more about this fictional world and the players within it. You have a great concept and fun story to tell - work on the details to really elevate this excerpt! Keep it up, Tarah

9 months

The Lost Key

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2019

Hi MidnightAuthor - What an exciting and intriguing piece! You've got some super creative elements here and I can't wait to see them evolve. Spend some time tweaking around with ways to present the setting, and throughout, focus on organizing your story into paragraphs or chunks that flow naturally from one to the next. This will help readers follow the highlights of the action as it unfolds. Keep up the great work, Tarah

9 months

Ashes

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2019

Hi Ian! What a strong place to start! This is an exciting, inventive, and otherworldly excerpt that has so much potential to grow into a larger narrative. I would suggest focusing on your opening and closing - how do you introduce us to this character (in addition to this strange world), and how do you wrap up the excerpt in a way that clues us into where this action leaves us in the larger arc of your story (ie, is this the beginning, middle, or end?) I'm excited to see this evolve, you have a tremendous start! Tarah

9 months

The Otherness

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2019

Hi Kivouk, Thanks for sharing this well-worked piece! You've poured a tremendous amount of mature, refined, and carefully curated language into this story! I challenge you to focus on the basics and make sure your excerpt integrates all of the fundamentals -- plot, multi-dimensional characters, and a clear sense of place. This might mean simplifying your language, narrowing the scope of this vignette's action, or revisiting the sequence of events. Spend a little time with any one of those and I know your draft will get stronger and stronger! Keep it up with the complex and varied vocabulary. It made for such a dynamic read! Tarah

9 months

Too Dark, Too Cold

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2019

Hi Norah -- Great work on this piece. You have such a solid foundation. This excerpt provides access to the characters and sets the scene for some major conflict and action. There are relationships that reveal themselves, but can be explored in depth. Keep dialing in the details to give the story time and place, and make sure that each bit of dialogue and each detail is helping the reader get a better grasp of the world you're envisioning. Tarah

9 months

A Catastrophe In Space and Time EXCERPT

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2019

Hi parachutes - Thanks for sharing this piece. It is unconventional but just as intriguing as a typically-formated novel excerpt. Thanks for bringing us into the world of this group of friends and teammates. I hope to learn more about them in a next draft, or in the completed novel! Tarah

9 months

The Original and The Clone

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2019

Hi tahlia_paiger, Thanks for sharing this complex and intriguing piece of writing! You have introduced some fascinating characters under creative and surprising circumstances. I am left wondering when and where this all shakes out, but the style and scope of the writing pulled me in and was natural and fun to read. I'm excited to see a next draft! Keep it up! Tarah

9 months

Robot E-5006

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2019

Hi Jayden! Thanks so much for sharing this excerpt! I'm really excited to see it evolve. You have some really fun and imaginative scenarios to dig into - work on bringing in details about the plot (background info, conflict, a goal), the setting (what the heck is it like in Area 51?) or characters (what makes any one of the players stand out?) to elevate your story. I also suggest a very thorough proofread for spelling and grammar. This will instantly elevate your draft! Keep up the great work! Tarah

9 months

Andrew, '92

PROMPT: Fact

This is such an intriguing start! When I opened the piece, I expected it to be a friend named Andrew but was suddenly brought into the complex world of weather! This topic is full of facts - scientific reasoning, predictions, data -- but I can only imagine that the experience of living through a hurricane is anything but that. You bring attention to that disparity well here, and I'm left wanting to know more about the lived experience of Andrew '92.

10 months

The Format: Interventions + Lullabies

PROMPT: Album Review Competition 2019

Hi Samuel! Thanks for sharing this piece! You have a great foundation and lots of well-written analysis. Review the brief to remind yourself of how you might capture the bigger picture that makes this music matter - what's the scene like? Who's involved? Who are the influences? This will round out your review and help readers understand better why you believe in this music so much. Keep it up! Tarah

10 months

Negro Swan: The album that dared to explore the fragility of everything human.

PROMPT: Album Review Competition 2019

Hi Aurelli - Thanks for sharing this knock-out piece. The writing is thoughtful, comprehensive, and professional. It reads like something I might find in a sunday newspaper in the Arts section. Your analysis is mature and careful, but also relates the personal to the global. Keep digging into that theme, and stay consistent with your curated voice! Keep it up, Tarah

10 months

Review: Seeing the World Through Owl City's 'Ocean Eyes'

PROMPT: Album Review Competition 2019

Hi Anish - Thanks for sharing this extensive review about Ocean Eyes. It's clearly had an impact on you and how you experience music. Work on selectively editing the piece to communicate all of the big ideas and comments you have while keeping it a quick and easy read. You do such a great job convincing us that this album is great that I don't have time to read the whole piece - I'm already searching for it online by paragraph 3! Have fun refining this piece. You've got a great start that is full of impressive and excited writing. Tarah

10 months

Depression, Identity, and the Power of Ritual: Sorority Noise`s "Joy, Departed"

PROMPT: Album Review Competition 2019

Hi verbenefit! Thank you so much for sharing what turned out to be a deeply personal and evocative piece. You hit notes of personal narrative, philosophy, and music review! In your revisions, work on balancing those notions in this piece and consider organizing your review so that it keeps your primary focus in mind all the way through. You have a phenomenal story to tell, some big ideas to share, and a great voice to write it with. Focus on refining and focus and you've got a winning piece! Tarah

10 months

The Style of Harry Styles

PROMPT: Album Review Competition 2019

Hi Sydney! Thanks so much for sharing this review! You've done a great job following the brief and taking a holistic look at an album in the context of a genre. In your revision, focus on making it personal! You can own your opinion on the album, and work to bring the reader right along in the emotional experience of listening to Harry Style's breakout solo album! Keep it up! Tarah

10 months

The Show Must Go On

PROMPT: Album Review Competition 2019

Hi JakeFrommStateFarm! Thanks for sharing out this piece! I would suggest you revisit the competition brief and look for ways to expand the scope of your writing. Your intent focus on this one song is impressive and well-written, but I'm left wondering about how it is situated in the rest of the album, the rest of Queen's work, in Freddie Mercury's life, and the time it was written and performed. Dig into the big musical picture! Keep it up, Tarah

10 months

The Frayed Ends

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Hi Lily - Thanks so much for sharing this emotional and personal piece. There was clearly a lot on the line in both of these relationships and it was not easy to negotiate. To level up this narrative, work on being super clear which character is where and when, and dig into some of the takeaways that readers might relate to or learn from. What's the lesson here? How can you communicate that to readers, either explicitly or between the lines? Tarah

11 months

hold on tight

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Hi ShaliniS! Thanks for sharing this personal narrative! I think you have a great start and some big ideas to work with! I think you can grow this piece by integrating more elements of story or simply focusing intently on one - a plot, the setting, and the charachters. As you revise, think about what pops out as the most important element of conveying your main point and purpose! Keep it up, Tarah

11 months

Torn pages that I kiss and scatter into the wind

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Hi Ruthh, What a phenomenal narrative. You hit on all of the suggestions in the prompt, using devices to transition across time, building empathy with readers, telling specific anecdotes to promote a universal theme. Keep digging into the motivations and emotions of this story - it's got a lot of depth that you've tackled so far, but I know it has a lot left to explore. You have an excellent start, and I'm so glad to hear your mom is in a better place. Tarah

11 months

My "Twin" Sister

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Hi Ashley - Thanks for sharing this story about a close friend! You have learned a lot from this connection and shown amazing growth. You do a great job of connecting your personal experience with universal themes around friendship and connection. Keep those themes and ideas in mind as you continue drafting this story - how do the details you provide and the episodes you share evidence your growth and the goodness of this relationship? You have a great start! Tarah

11 months

My Unbalanced Connections

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Hi Aiden P - Thanks for sharing this full blown reflection on the most important connections in your life! You do an excellent job of revealing your personal experience while tying it to universal takeaways for your own life and for readers. Focus on refining the content and format of the piece to elevate the stories within. Help us find a story to relate to that either connects all of the players in your life or zooms in on one. You've got a lot to work with here! Keep it up! Tarah

11 months

Grocery Shopping

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Hi aashanadaru! What a great concept and introduction to this powerful connection. Your use of parallel experiences draws out the lasting nature of your connection while still being grounded. Keep working on elevating the language and descriptive nature of the piece and don't be afraid to step away from the pattern with another concept, idea, or acknowledgement of change in this well-executed flash forward. Keep it up! Tarah

11 months

Skin of Cowardice

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Hi JasmineSalter31! Thank you for letting us into this connection! You have a heavy-hitting piece on your hands full of big ideas and personal emotions. Spend some time clarifying your overall purpose, then take it one paragraph at a time to align your writing with that purpose. You have so much here to work with! I'm excited to see how your writing evolves! Tarah

11 months

Journey of Tears

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Dear Soph_thewriter, Thanks for sharing this story with us, and for writing in a way that helped me reflect on connections in my past. Keep this global theme in mind as you refine and really play with the way you tell your story. Work with emotional language, smooth out transitions, and tell your story so that readers feel it is theirs as well. Great start! Tarah

11 months

Then and Now

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Hi elliebwhing! Thanks for sharing this creatively structured and insightful narrative. You approach a universal theme about our responsibility to past friends and connections, while alternating to bring us along with your very present reality. In future drafts, consider how much information the reader would want to fully follow along in your journey through the store and through your friendships. Share out about your circumstances so that we can fully empathize. Keep it up! Tarah

11 months

My Scoliosis Sister

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Hi Eden Thanks for sharing this very personal story, and I'm so glad you've had a friend in Daniella. As you tweak and play with this narrative, integrate specifics about the setting and your emotional experience so readers can put themselves as much in your shoes as is possible. Focus in on the story of your friendship to then inform the big takeaways about the value of connection which you touch on so well in this draft. Keep it up! Tarah

11 months

The Woman Who Will Change the World

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Dear EKing - Thank you for sharing this friendship with us! Your respect for and appreciation of Rhiannon is so apparent. Carry that tone and emotion with you as you revise. Focus on showing us through examples and stories how you've come to know and appreciate her. Not only do readers want to hear the lessons learned, we are curious to know how! Keep it up, Tarah

11 months

Bryan Clauson's connection to the world

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Hi Louise - Thanks for sharing this narrative which you use as a platform for sharing the merits of personal connection. As you work on this piece, focus on specifics of your experience. When and where did you discover dirt racing? When was a time that you connected with someone out of the blue and gained something from it? Help us get to know your experience in detail so we feel confident taking your advice. Great start, and keep racing! Tarah

11 months

Cherished Ruins

PROMPT: Human Connections Essay Competition 2019

Hi Alice13! Thanks for sharing this story - it really reads like one! As you revise, ground yourself in the prompt and the genre of personal narrative. Make sure we get the facts of the matter on lock so that the sensory and imagistic details you've carefully crafted can shine within an organized and easy-to-follow structure. You've got a great concept and a good start! Cheers! Tarah

11 months

Chosen One

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2019

Hi Sunlight - Thanks for sharing this piece! It reads as part of a larger whole which I'm so impressed by...as you tweak, help us find hints that will give us access to the bigger picture of this universe. Think about leaning into the people, the setting, or the language you use to detail the actions to bring this flash fiction to the next level! Keep it up! Tarah

12 months

The Simple Story of a Complicated Man

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2019

Dear Up And Coming - Thanks for sharing this story with us. You've introduced a complex character who surely can't be contained in 99 words. Zoom out to consider if there are specific scenes or actions that you could describe/integrate into this story to show (rather than tell) us more about George and where he comes from. Action-oriented narrative may help you fold in the elements of story that make flash fiction so fun! Great start, and keep writing! Tarah

12 months

Endearing Sardonicism

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2019

Hi Egman - Thanks for sharing out this piece! Revisit the brief and make sure you bring all the elements of a fiction story into clear view here - you've got a solid start with a super creative theme and voice, and it will only be strengthened with some clarification around the context, the characters, and who the players are in this reflection. Tarah

12 months

Tigress

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2019

Dear Poems1212 - This is a captivating piece and I'm excited to see it evolve. Remind yourself of the competition criteria - this piece ought to integrate all of the core elements of story, and you've really nailed the character and the conflict. Sketch out the setting and some context aside from your draft, then pen some ways to add those bits that could help the reader know when and where this transformation is happening, and a little bit more of why. You've got a lovely start, keep it up! Tarah

12 months

Finished with Anger

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2019

Hi Chippy - Thank you for sharing your flash fiction! I can tell that it comes from a greater whole - with developed characters and a complex setting. Work on finding ways to tie those into this piece a little more explicitly OR to narrow in on the action and event that you lead us into. I think your flash fiction will be strengthened by zooming out (to evoke a mood/feeling) or zooming in (to detail a climatic moment). You're on a good path, keep it up! Tarah

12 months

How Many Times?

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2019

Hi there ava09! Thanks for sharing this remarkable piece that is unfortunately real and relatable. It brings the damage to individual relationships to the top of mind...use your flash fiction to really make that statement by helping the reader further access through small details and dialogue what the nature of this relationship was so that we might fully understand the weight of what has happened. Keep fine tuning and deepening -- you have a brilliant start. Tarah

12 months

An Important Task

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2019

Hi Abigail! Thanks for sharing your flash fiction piece! You've got a clever and well-written piece here, and I'm excited to see it evolve. Think critically about time and setting - you may need to do some work outside the word constraint to figure out how best to communicate that, then make some tradeoffs with the content you have here to really elevate the piece from an imagined and playful scenario to a grounded and visualized story. Keep up the great work! Tarah

12 months

Shot Down Promises

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2019

Hi lovelylittlewriter - This flash fiction nearly knocked me over. It really struck a cord with me and I know it will for others. It displays the work of a larger arc and introduces us to a group of people who are bound to each other in a big way. Keep refining the way these people are related and use pointed, vivid language to convey the breadth and depth of their intimacies. Keep it up! Tarah

12 months

Deleted.

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2019

Hi caityege! Thanks for sharing your piece of flash fiction. you've communicated a powerful moment that's full of power, emotion, and action. The reader is in the pool with the main character. Keep playing with your choice of language to refine your narrator's voice and tone, plus play around with the structure of the writing to make sure it reads as a fluid, interconnected story Tarah

12 months

Dead funeral

PROMPT: Flash Fiction Competition 2019

Hi Mistress Moonbeam - thanks for sharing your flash fiction piece! You have a great foundation and a clear perspective - reading it, I feel like I am in a moment in history that is personal and difficult. Keep playing with language to elevate the details of the mini-scene and consider what it might look like to build in a more apparent inflection point in the first paragraph. In all, this piece brings characters and experiences to life that bring me in. Well done! Tarah

12 months

The Angel and The Devil

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi morbid_pororo - Thanks so much for sharing this piece with us! It's full of visceral emotion, and it will be strengthened by focusing in on one or two big ideas and feelings. Your structure is spot on, and the rhythm and rhyme is apparent and exciting! Keep refining and focusing your message to elevate this song. Off to a great start! Tarah

about 1 year

Not so Different

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi Books-and-Love! Thank you so much for sharing this song about what appears to be true heartbreak. These things are never easy, but songwriting is a great way to process. You've captured the intensity of the emotion well, just focus in on communicating the patterns that make this song something that people would want to put on repeat and you'll have an outstanding submission! Keep it up! Tarah

about 1 year

In Between

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi Taja Thank you for sharing this song, I think it's got some beautiful writing in it. Help your audience find the meaning and story of the song by adding details about the characters and/or events that fit into the narrative that informs it. Maybe play with additional verses or restructured verses to accommodate more context and storytelling. Keep up the great work! Tarah

about 1 year

Movie Star from Mars

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi Zixdude! thanks for sharing out this super inventive song! Clearly you've put in a lot of thought and work into outlining the musical components too - not just the lyrics! There's a great mix of playful language and tempting rhythm. Refine some of the patterns to maintain consistency throughout, and keep infusing clever language throughout! Great work, Tarah

about 1 year

I Am Made

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi schottthroughtheheart! Thanks a bunch for sharing this polished and powerful song! Your lyrics are poetic and original, not to mention inspiring. I made one comment about the line in the chorus referencing God (is it an allusion to sexual orientation or faith or both?) that I think is a core component of the song's message. I think it's beautiful as is, but I wanted to flag it as a point of ambiguity. Keep refining and rehearsing this excellent start! Tarah

about 1 year

I don’t know how

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi songwriting_13! Thanks so much for sharing this song with us! It clearly represents some big feelings and a complicated relationship. Dig deeper to find the why - what's the driving force for this song being written? How can you add details and specifics in a word here or there that bring it to life for listeners? This may mean another verse, a different chorus, or a bridge to fill in some gaps -- no matter, you have a great foundation and I'm excited to see it grow! Tarah

about 1 year

Rainy Tuesday

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi orinje! Thank you so much for sharing this song and your recording of it! You have a fantastic singing voice. I challenge you to hone in on the emotional thrust of the song - what is the experience you hope listeners will connect with most in this song, and where is it coming from for you? Keep up the great work, Tarah

about 1 year

Hidden.

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi Aaru_Writes - Thank you for sharing this song. It is evidently emotional and full of meaning for you, and it comes through in the power you've written it with. Consider my note about adding details that tie your memories and questions to specific incidents - can you make this song visible and tangible? It has a big emotional punch, but I know some tweaks and details can elevate it! Keep up the strong work, Tarah

about 1 year

Unconditional

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi Ragestargate7! Thank you for sharing this song! I am excited to see how it evolves - I challenge you to toy with some language and put meaning ahead of rhyme for a bit, just to experiment. Also consider the formatting for ease of interpretation. Aside from that, you have a relevant and relatable song here that is such a great start! Keep it up! Tarah

about 1 year

Pretty Girls

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi mochi99339, Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful lyrics. You have a strong foundation of a song that I know will resonate with many listeners. Think on the structure of your song, and take on the challenge of bridging your poetic rap writing into more lines of the song. Keep it up! Tarah

about 1 year

Rainbow

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi Kailee - Thanks so much for sharing this song as well as the recording of it! You've produced a lovely song with a powerful driving theme and metaphor. Play around with extended verses, and remember the note of "less is more" as you revise through the bridge especially. You've got a great start, I think it's just about tweaking now! Keep it up, Tarah

about 1 year

Necromancer's Rap

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi Kate! This was such a delight to read! Thank you for bringing a fresh take on the prompt (and potentially pulling inspiration from the last competition, Fantasy?!?) This piece is unusual and funky, full of outstanding writing. Spend some time toying with rhythms and repeating motifs to bridge the piece together to take it to the next level! Keep it up! Tarah

about 1 year

lost without you

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Dear Majestically Awkward Manatee -- Thank you so much for sharing this song with me. I think you have a strong theme and story to tell which comes through in your big language and use of metaphor. As you revise, remember some of the elements of song writing - and focus on how the patterns and rhythms of your song come through, even in this written form. Great work! Tarah

about 1 year

Road Trip

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hello The Dreamer! Thank you so much for sharing this passionate piece! I can tell there's a lot of personal experience written into this song. Work on formatting and writing the lyrics in a way that convey the rhythm and melody of the song on paper. While you're missing one of your essential media in this format, consider creative ways you can translate what you hear as the song writer to a reader who encounters your enthusiastic lyrics. Keep it up! Tarah

about 1 year

Your Song

PROMPT: Song Writing Competition 2019

Hi aliviascoresby! Thank you for sharing this upbeat and inspiring song. It resonated with me, and I can only imagine it will resonate with others. You've got the rhythm and patterning on lock - I challenge you to extend that to an additional verse or bridge that ties the message to something specific. Add some content that grounds this in a challenging time in which positivity and belief in yourself turned it around. Great work! Tarah

about 1 year

From End to the Beginning

PROMPT: Fantasy Writing Competition 2019

Hi advaita! Thanks for sharing this fantasy piece! It is a fresh and surprising piece that clearly has many layers to it. Work on flushing out some of the complexity and dialing in on what this story (in these 1000 words) is really about. What events and relationships evolve throughout to reach a climax and conclusion? Do a thorough proofread as well, and focus on the structure of your dialogue and sequencing. Great start! Tarah

about 1 year

Coin Giver

PROMPT: Fantasy Writing Competition 2019

Hi BookwormAddict! Thanks for sharing this short story! You have an excellent start with a creative crux - someone born with an absurd amount of luck. On your revision, focus on adding detail to transport us into this character's world. You have some strong and mature reflections on the big themes in this draft, so help bridge those ideas to the action of the story through sensory details and a scaffold of how this magical world works. Keep it up! Tarah

about 1 year

Of Silver and Swans

PROMPT: Fantasy Writing Competition 2019

Hi efflorescence! Thank you for sharing this impressive piece. I think you have a tremendous start. My suggestion to you is to settle this piece within a bigger picture - I am left wanting to know more about the what, why, and how. What does this power grant to this group of sisters? Why are they the ones who have it? Why is Lynette so resentful? How will they reconcile these differences? How will they use the power from the moon? Help the reader establish some context and then some closure to meet the brief of submitting a short story. This is a such a beautifully written piece, I want it to shine and satisfy! Keep it up! Tarah

about 1 year

The Heart of Haixi

PROMPT: Fantasy Writing Competition 2019

Hi PenguinMaster! Thanks for sharing this! You've got a solid start, and I'm confident that you can pare it down while including the right amount of expository content. Even if it doesn't make it into the final form, spend time writing "rules" for Haixi's physics, social structures, government, and work on Kai-Feng's perspective. What would it sound like if this were written from his point of view? I also recommend a good proofread, for good measure! Keep it up, Tarah

about 1 year

The Eighth

PROMPT: Fantasy Writing Competition 2019

Hi Eveona! Thanks for sharing this story! I really enjoyed reading it, especially when I got to the climax with the twist! I'm glad you acknowledged your word count - I would focus on choosing anecdotes that make the biggest impact to move the plot forward. What interactions are critical for telling this story? Are there any sisters that could be left with an allusion? Keep refining and finessing! You have a great start. Tarah

about 1 year

the fire inside us

PROMPT: Fantasy Writing Competition 2019

Hi proclivity1755! Thanks for sharing this piece, you have a really creative and intriguing start. Keep fleshing out the world in which this scene comes to fruition, and zoom out to make sure this tells a complete story. Look for ways to build the relationships that emerge and then move forward with them to form a conclusion based on the confluence of those with the proclivity! Great work, keep it up! Tarah

about 1 year

Five Shards

PROMPT: Fantasy Writing Competition 2019

Hi Kthrasher5! Thanks for sharing this short story! You have a excellent start featuring some exciting and enticing characters. Aspen is full of gusto, and I'm excited to see how you evolve this short story to really unfold her complexities. Work on refining the look and feel of your fantasy world, and find the bigger themes that this one episode connects to when it comes to the characters at play. Keep up the good work! Tarah

about 1 year

The Longing of The Lake

PROMPT: Fantasy Writing Competition 2019

Dear Synister Reader - Thank you so much for sharing this piece with us! You have some serious mastery over descriptive and active language. You languish in the spookiness, and have set up a scene full of mystery, intrigue, and other worldliness. I was captivated. To reiterate my other comments, I think you could reflect on how this sits alongside the canon of fantasy work. Can you find other examples of fantasy with similar endings? Do you see examples of plots that rise in such a way, then fall so rapidly? Consider how your readers will react to the combination of the beginning, middle, and ending of this piece -- and reflect on if that's how you want them to feel in relation to your fantasy world. You have a strong start and come seriously good writing. I'm excited to see how it evolves! Tarah

about 1 year

The Woodland Forest

PROMPT: Fantasy Writing Competition 2019

Hi Aquila, Thank you for sharing this creative take on a classic! It's so fun to consider different perspectives on a story. Please review the competition brief for length requirements. If you can tighten this up and think over some of my comments and feedback, I believe this would be a strong competitor! Really enjoyed the read. Great start! Tarah

about 1 year

Darkness Draws Near

PROMPT: Fantasy Writing Competition 2019

Hi Timelesssolo - Thanks for sharing this snippet of what I can only imagine is a vast universe and story in your head. Revist the competition prompt and think about how you can use this single scene as a catalyst for building out a short story. There are clifhangers on both ends right now with outstanding character development, dialogue, and detailed action in between. Work on tying lose ends so a reader can get the full picture in this one short story! Great start, and happy writing! Tarah

about 1 year

Social media the addiction

PROMPT: Unplugged: Op-Ed Competition

Hi Paigeelliott - Thanks for sharing this overview on your opinion about unplugging! You've got a lot of ideas in this piece that are the start of something great. Spend some time digging into any one of them - your perspective as a young person, the nature of addiction, the impacts of social media - to then inform your recommendation to unplug every once in a while. Consider breaking it down into smaller paragraphs and filling them out with details and a little more research to take this to the next level. Great start! Tarah

about 1 year

Choose

PROMPT: Unplugged: Op-Ed Competition

Hi kattt1120! Thanks for sharing this thoughtful piece on unplugging! You have a really strong start and a well-structured argument. Your voice and thesis is clear throughout, and you appeal to multiple means of persuasion to tell your story. You set yourself up as an authority on the topic - so be sure to provide clear actionable ideas for readers to apply to their own lives. I think you'll have people on your side! Tarah

about 1 year

A Teenager's Take on Social Media

PROMPT: Unplugged: Op-Ed Competition

Hi nadiakhan! Thanks for sharing this piece! I think you have a great start and plenty to tinker with. Echoing my comments above, work on the structure of the piece to balance the different perspectives you loop in. Consider sourcing some more evidence around a few factual claims, and really drive home your thesis through each section of the piece. Can't wait to see the final version! Tarah

about 1 year

.

PROMPT: Unplugged: Op-Ed Competition

Hi S.Dinesh - Thanks for sharing this piece that reflects closely on your personal experience. As you revise, focus on really defining your opinion and stance on the topic. Make sure the story you tell and the flow of your reflection matches the message you want to send out from start to finish. Consider citing sources that support your point of view, and keep refining the writing to maximize your voice! You have a super strong start. Keep it up! Tarah

about 1 year

Stop Asking Me This Question

PROMPT: Unplugged: Op-Ed Competition

Hi queerquotes! Thanks for sharing this oped on why this question is already passé! I'm excited to see you evolve the piece, and I'm would especially suggest digging into some context and some more specific examples, stories, or details that will transform your commentary into an informed opinion piece. You've done the personal reflection - now turn outwards so that the reader can believe, related to, and easily follow along with your point of view. Keep it up! Tarah

about 1 year

The Unbreakable Bond Food Gives to Us

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2019

Hi Jahzaiyah! Thanks for sharing this reflection on food! Along with clarifying your purpose, use your revision time to focus on adding two or three really dramatic descriptions that bring the plate to the reader! You have a really unique guide in this idea of an extension cord, all bringing people together and powering them up! Lean into that and explore how many ways you can use that to represent food culture - whether it's with your family or across the world. Keep up the clean writing and tidy drafts, and focus on food as a sensory experience that is both personal and global! Great start. Tarah

about 1 year

Oh!

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2019

Hi Abi - Thank you so much for sharing this delightful piece for review. It is unconventional but powerful. It brought me into the kitchen with you. Focusing on the process is a great choice, and you use choosy language to describe it. As I said above, think about what happens when you assign this process to a specific recipe, place, or time. Also toy around with how you denote the passage of time, as this piece really is about moving forward through time in the context of a kitchen. You have a great start with a clean draft, so keep massaging the big picture parts of this. I look forward to reading further drafts! Tarah

about 1 year

matzo meal miracles

PROMPT: Food Writing Competition 2019

Hi luluwrites1111, Thank you for sharing this piece about Jewish food culture and your personal experiences discovering it in all of its NYC glory! I trust that the entire piece will benefit from a punchy and grounding introduction - this draft needs a little more context and a little more nuanced reflection to take it to the next level. I see your citations; consider building them into the body of the piece as if it were written like an editorial in a magazine. Great start. Can't wait to read its evolution! Tarah

about 1 year

Rattlesnake Roundups, a true story

PROMPT: Earth Day Writing Competition 2019

Dear Peggyisthebest - Thank you for sharing this piece and raising my awareness of this topic! For starters, check back to the competition brief and think about ways you could make the connections to global environmental issues more clear. You mention in a few places how this scenario has an impact on the larger ecosystem, but how big is the impact? What evidence do you have of that impact? What is the fallout that we may not be able to anticipate now? Spend some time also looking to cut out unnecessary words or phrases, or replace them with more vivid or varied vocabulary or sentence structures. Think about separating fact and opinion to even out the pace of your argument and analysis. Keep up the good work! You have a solid start to a well written op-ed.

over 1 year

I Challenge You

PROMPT: Earth Day Writing Competition 2019

Hi Hannah! Thanks for sharing this piece. You have a really interesting story to tell based on your personal experience that gives you a very unique perspective on the environment. Continue to use that as your foundation, but reach to include other perspectives and points of view either as counterpoints or as evidence to support your proposal. To echo my other comments, focus on integrating specifics - about your claims, your ideas, and your ask of the reader - to make it a punchy and powerful piece.

over 1 year

A Tellurian Hiraeth

PROMPT: Earth Day Writing Competition 2019

Hi PunsandPoses - Thank you for sharing this piece. I think you have some work to do in really identifying the purpose of this piece as well as the style it wants to sit in. You rely on a handful of techniques (personal reflection, the inclusion of facts, opinion) to share your ideas about this topic, and the piece could be strengthened if you focus on maximizing the use of one or two. Make sure your thesis is clear in the start and the finish to hit home the point you mean to make.

over 1 year

a walk down lafayette street

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Hi Emmy - This is an excellent start and a powerful topic. I'm curious to know more about the girl and the narrator, and what their relationship is. Is the narrator watching? Asking her questions? Is the narrator familiar with the drunkard around the corner? Use careful language to show what this relationship is, and calculate the distance between the character and the narrator.

over 1 year

A Flooded Creek

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Hi Quille! This is such a phenomenal start! It was such a pleasing and surprising read that shows a wisdom you might not expect. Keep digging into ways you can bring the scene and the emotions to the reader, and play with language to get there. The structure is appropriate and strong - stick with it and you will have a remarkable poem!

over 1 year

These Starving Pockets

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Hi Creature_Of_Night! Thanks for sharing this poem about a big topic - inequality, dashed dreams, success and failure. You have a solid start, and I'm excited for you to revise with an eye towards specificity - in the metaphor/situation/allusion you include and in the emotionality that is part of the experience you report on in this poem. You have a great poem here, but keep refining it to expressly articulate your point of view.

over 1 year

Haiku for Luke

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Hi there, Ekaterina! Thanks for posting this haiku! Try workshopping it a little bit to take it from a pedestrian statement about this person Luke, to a thoughtful poem that shows a feeling and a motive! Play with verbs, add some action, and fight the good fight to fit it into a hiaku!

over 1 year

Study Hall Free Verse Poems

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Hi Luke! This was so fun to read! It surprised me, delighted, and took me into a moment. Think about the stories you give the reader access to with these small clues about the scene. Is there any detail or element that's missing? Is there something that stands out? Think about how you could take this to the next level of "clever." You have a fun and exciting start!

over 1 year

Loving

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Hi gaby.180! Thanks for sharing this poem that must have been quite the project to write! I would encourage you to zoom out and see how you can make this piece more cohesive from start to finish. Reflect on what you want readers or listeners to remember about this poem, and make sure the structure reflects those priorities. You have a strong start - just work on clarifying your thesis and objective, and use inventive language along the way as you revise!

over 1 year

Bath time

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Hey 1okie! Thanks for sharing this piece. In your revisions, I encourage you to clarify the contrasts you use in this poem. There are dark action words, but ethereal descriptors and a relaxing setting. What do you want the reader to know about your experience of "bath time"? Is bath time a stand in for something else? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Focus in on that, and help the reader know what to make of your mixed messages.

over 1 year

memories,

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Hi wilma77 - Thanks for sharing this poem about what is surely a sticky situation. Many readers will empathize with this. Bring it to the next level by folding in descriptive and vivid language that take your experience from being banal to unmatched. As in the brief, help the reader experience the familiar in a new way through your poetry. And reflect on whether you want to personalize this poem with details about the individuals involved.

over 1 year

Musings of a Typewriter

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Hi ria17sep! This was such a fun poem to read - thank you for sharing it! You do an excellent job of telling a story around this object and its environment, using creative language to describe setting and action. As you revise, dissect your poem into small chunks and work with an eye towards musicality and rhythm, with punctuation and verbiage as tools. Keep it up!

over 1 year

The Wisdom of Love

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Hi Yueliang - Thanks for sharing this poem! It is mature and thoughtful. I think you can tinker with the perspective that is involved here - help the reader identify who or what they can empathize with. I also suggest you think about the title and the body of the poem - can you link them more tightly? As it is, the poem almost requires the title to be interpreted; how could they stand alone? Keep up the good work!

over 1 year

Arts Education and It’s Importance

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi Nyere.JM - Thanks for sharing your position on arts in schools. You bring up some great points and expert evidence to support your argument. Keep working on balancing the personal and the universal so that different readers see arguments that appeal to different styles (data and hard evidence, personal and emotional anecdotes). You have a great start; keep building in context, details, and your personal experience to make this op ed shine!

over 1 year

For Our Single Mothers

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi Shaunloh- Thanks for sharing this op ed which is clearly personal for you. Keep using that to fuel passionate language and a direct call to action. Work on refining the boundaries of the topic so readers can follow along, and fold in some expert evidence and research to boost your opinion!

over 1 year

Resist the Siren Call of Declinism

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Gui Gin - Thank you for sharing this op ed! It is a very advanced piece of writing that shows complex analysis, writing techniques, and argumentation. For an op ed, however, you want to lean on expertise and in your case, the history books, to add additional means for making your argument. Tie your writing to detailed evidence that supports your perspective, and continue to strengthen the language around and clarify your perspective, inspiration, and final opinion.

over 1 year

Make a Sign. Raise your voice. And let your hope shine through.

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Dear somahony - Thank you for sharing this energizing op ed. Even if writing something like this is difficult, I'm so glad to hear that it was an activating experience for you. Your passion shows up in your writing, and as you clarify some of the contextual details of your stories and boost your claims with data and evidence, your passion will become a seriously convincing call to action.

over 1 year

Being A Sikh in America

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi skyrider! Thanks for submitting this piece - you write from a place of powerful personal experience, and you utilize it well. This piece simply needs some narrowing; work on clarifying the topic of interest and plugging in a thesis that speaks directly to that. Balance your time between educating the audience and convincing them that you are right - that something needs to be done to address discrimination.

over 1 year

Anxiety

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi audbooth - Thank you fro sharing this highly personal piece about anxiety. I would encourage you to review the brief and read some examples of op eds, then compare your offering here to the tone, structure, and style of writing used in really convincing, successful op eds. Slight adjustments will get you there, along with a really obvious appeal to the problem you want to see solved in this world!

over 1 year

What happens when the wrong person ends up with a weapon?

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi Lora - Thank you for submitting this piece. You address a lot of different things that all relate to violence and harm, but consider narrowing your focus and really breaking down the components of that issue and clearly taking a stance on it. Remember, you need to present your thesis, and share evidence that will help convince the reader to be on the same side of the issue as you. You're on the right track!

over 1 year

Is standardized testing necessary?

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

HI Camilley - Thanks for sharing this op ed about standardized testing. I think you have a great foundation. In order to strengthen your position, really clearly define your thesis at the beginning and end, and don't be afraid to open up a full discussion (evidence, quotations, personal experience) about any of the arguments you bring to the table. Also consider how you might integrate potential counterarguments.

over 1 year

Why so Early?

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi Dannys - Thank you for sharing this op ed which is no doubt a personal one for you! As you revise, work on focusing the combinations of your evidence and refining the solutions you offer. Clean up some confusing/unclear sentences, and keep integrating expert evidence around the topics of sleep and its negative impact on students. Great start!

over 1 year

Wired?

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi Alexa! Thanks for making this case about technology in the classroom. You offer a lot of arguments against integrating technology, and I think you can make an even stronger case by going into more detail about one or two in particular. Choose a few topics (for example, reliance on the internet for knowledge, limited access for low income students, handwriting degrading) and share in detail the reasons why you think these are detrimental to education. You have a great start!

over 1 year

The Controversy Regarding Overtime Rules in the NFL

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi Ikew! Thank you for writing this piece and making a strong case in favor of changing the NFL overtime rules. You've responded to the brief well - but I would encourage you to zoom in a bit and tell us why this topic in particular matters to you (why did you write about this and not something else) and convey the stake you hold in it personally.

over 1 year

The Stress of High School

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi Lilys - Thanks so much for sharing this Op ed! You have a tremendous start here, with a really good backbone of argumentation. Work on varying the structure, tone, and pace of your writing a little bit to keep the reader engaged and tuned into how each point you make is unique. This will take your piece to the next level!

over 1 year

I'm not Blowing Smoke

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi JoshuaFGCL - Thanks for sharing this op ed! You have a great start here. Keep refining the way the discussion is laid out, and put yourself in the shoes of a reader who may be totally unfamiliar with this trend that you clearly describe as dangerous and growing. What do they need to know? What will help them relate to your position best?

over 1 year

Easy to Kill

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi AsherGCL - Thanks for sharing this discussion about gun violence and what you believe is the root of the problem. In your revision, work on organizing your piece so that your stance is super clear to start, and each body paragraph ties directly to your position on the causes and bad effects of access to guns. Make sure there is a one-to-one connection made between a root cause and a problem that you want to see changed in the world. Continue to cite evidence that is personally and globally relevant. You've made a great start!

over 1 year

Another Reason Why The Death Penalty Should be Abolished

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi MaxcGCL - Thank you for sharing this op-ed piece. You've got a strong start here. As you revise, work on articulating your final position with emphasis, and balancing your arguments. Keep looking for evidence and data to back up your claims; the quotations and statistics add a lot of authority to your writing. Just be sure you've done all the research you need to fully bulk up your opinion.

over 1 year

Just being kids

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi Jae! Thank you for sharing this passionate op-ed. You are clearly a big anti-bullying advocate. Take a close look at the different devices you use (sarcasm, the "kids will be kids" motif, the integration of cited facts), and weigh how effective each on is at telling your story and making your opinion make sense. Lean into the ones that are strongest at detailing the problem, supporting your opinion, and making your case!

over 1 year

We Are Who We Are!

PROMPT: Op-Ed Competition 2019

Hi PANDABEAR, Thank you for sharing this op-ed piece. I would encourage you to really define what the issue is that you are addressing. You discuss big ideas like discrimination and bullying, but your argument and opinion would hold more weight if you chose a specific issue - discrimination against LGBTQ+ in sports or government, bullying in schools or online, race-based conflicts in America -- and outlined where it came from, why it's a problem, and how it could be fixed. Your tone and enthusiasm is powerful though, so use that and run with it!

over 1 year

Thumbelina, Tiny Runaway Bride: A Review

PROMPT: Book Review Competition 2019

Hi Kthrasher5 - Thank you for sharing this review! this is a great start, and has a lot of great nuggets about the story, character, and inspiration for this book. Dive into the what and the how, so that your readers get a sense of what it really feels like to read and reflect on this book.

over 1 year

Smaller and Smaller Circles

PROMPT: Book Review Competition 2019

Hi Jukai - Thanks for sharing this review! You have a great foundation. Check out the comments about digging into some more details - we want a sense of how this book was written, and what it felt like to read all of its different scenes and characters. What should we know?!

over 1 year

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia: Truly a Treasure

PROMPT: Book Review Competition 2019

Hi BabyPixie01 - Thank you for sharing out about this book! You have a strong point of view and do an excellent job connecting this to your personal experience. Look for ways to broaden the scope of your analysis so that those who don't identify as artists (but who might identify more strongly with the themes you bring in the end) can feel connected to this review. Great start!

over 1 year

Humanity's Light: A Review of A Monster Calls

PROMPT: Book Review Competition 2019

Hi LyreLynne! This was such a pleasure to read! Do some thinking about how you frame, describe, and analyze the genre this book belongs too to help the reader know where we're staring from. This review makes it clear that it transcends its designated genre, but what are the hallmarks of that to begin with?!? Super well done, I'm excited to see how you enhance it further!

over 1 year

Living With The Shadows

PROMPT: Book Review Competition 2019

Hi hannahismusical! Thank you for writing and sharing this piece. It is emotional, honest, and relevant. You structure this much like a personal narrative that happens to include a book as a key element; re-read the competition brief and make sure you're comfortable with the distribution of topics. You blend them so well as is, but what would it take to turn this into a book review that includes a personal narrative, rather than the inverse?

over 1 year

A Thousand Splendid Suns: Stunning and heartbreaking.

PROMPT: Book Review Competition 2019

Hi Dhwani1 - Thank you for submitting this "splendid" review. I think you did a great job sharing out the basic plot points and characters, while giving a preview of the writing style, the big themes, and why this novel stands out to you. Tidy up some usage mistakes/typos, and you will have a solid review that I know many folks on WtW will appreciate!

over 1 year

With Winning In Mind

PROMPT: Book Review Competition 2019

Hi Sophie - This is a great introduction to a book that made a difference to you! I'm so curious to learn more about this book and author. Review the contest briefing before you start editing, I think that will be a good reminder. Then use this strong base that so eloquently ties to your personal life to launch into an even stronger analysis of an exceptional book! Great work so far!

over 1 year

When Reality Was Blessed With Magic

PROMPT: Book Review Competition 2019

Hi Darria - Thanks for sharing this piece! I am so curious about the book now. It's tricky when trying to convey to a new person the depth and detail of a fantastical world you're discovering in a book, and you have put a lot of energy into conveying the time, space, and personality bending reality of this fiction! Take a critical eye to your writing and assess what's needed and what's extra so that you get readers excited about this read and don't feel overwhelmed by the complex worlds you outline for us.

over 1 year

"Gone Girl" by Gillian Flynn- Haunting tale for a Life Lession

PROMPT: Book Review Competition 2019

Hi Vania - Thanks for sharing this review with us! You have a good start here. As you revise, work on integrating basic background information (that doesn't give too much away), and perhaps focus on one or two features of the writing that made it so important to you that everyone read this book.

over 1 year

A Slightly Traumatic Favorite

PROMPT: Book Review Competition 2019

Hi Rinzerella - Thanks for sharing this piece, I will definitely look into this book! I think this piece would be strengthened by adding more precise detail about the why and the how -- you say you will never recover from reading this book, but the links between the story and your personal experience coming away from it are a little tenuous. Great start, though!

over 1 year

Hidden Themes of Kiki’s Delivery Service

PROMPT: Film Review Competition 2019

Hi Rio - Thanks for telling us about this movie! I think a successful revision will build more perspective and opinion into the piece. It is currently a report about a movie you like, but I'd like to see you really convince the reader that they should invest in this film!

over 1 year

Captain America: The Winter Soldier brings a chill to the Marvel franchise.

PROMPT: Film Review Competition 2019

Hi Wu.Z - Thanks for sharing this review. You're off to a great start. As you revise, consider what notion you want the reader to come away with. Have you given them enough information to make a decision about seeing this movie?

over 1 year

The Beauty of Pursuing Something Greater--Your Name Film Review

PROMPT: Film Review Competition 2019

Hi clos! Thanks for sharing this review. I would encourage you to take a critical look at what is most important to share with your readers. Remember your purpose - to analyze and recommend (or not recommend) a film based on its merits, story, structure, and other elements. Are you providing the right level of detail and reflection for readers to make that decision?

over 1 year

Bohemian Rhapsody: A Flawless Interpretation

PROMPT: Film Review Competition 2019

Hi Rinzerella - Thanks for sharing out this piece about what sounds like a fantastic movie! Your opinion on the film is clear, and you back up your perspective with detailed evidence from the movie. Continue to integrate details and nuance, and also consider the structure and how you reveal your own point of view to lend credibility to your review.

over 1 year

The modern works of Miyazaki

PROMPT: Film Review Competition 2019

Hi Georgia - What an impressive analysis. Please refer back to the contest brief and try crafting a version of this retrospective that meets the word limit (1000) and includes a few more elements of a conventional movie review. You've written a very formal essay here with an extensive amount of citation and evidence, which serves a different purpose than what this contest asks for. It is well done, but needs some editing and finessing to fit the bill for this competition cycle.

over 1 year

Avengers Infinity War

PROMPT: Film Review Competition 2019

Hi jonny b - Thanks for sharing this review! I'm excited to watch the first 5 minutes of this movie! As you revise, keep your intended audience in mind and make adjustments to help them meet you where you're at in your enthusiasm for this movie. Adding some more details around the plot and setting may be a good place to start.

over 1 year

How I feel when I think about December

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Hi Devante - Thank you for submitting this piece. Be sure that this is appropriate for the My December prompt. You may want to use it for more fiction-oriented competitions. Logistics aside, you have a unique world unfolding here and there is so much room to expand and dive into Taly's world.

over 1 year

Ups and Downs

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Hi Phuong Anh Nguyen! Thanks for sharing this story. As you revise, spend time clarifying the purpose of this narrative. You explore a lot of ideas, and it will be valuable to focus on one and boost it with details and stories to cultivate your author's voice.

over 1 year

King of the Hill

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Dear hannahjs - Thank you for sharing this piece for review! This is a really strong start, and you can elevate it by tightening up the logic that links your opening to your story about the snow game to your reflections as a young adult. Help the reader navigate your comparisons by being just a tad more explicit. You may have to compromise some poetic language for clarity.

over 1 year

Love and Respect

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Dear Jeet Tevani - Thank you for sharing this story with us! You present a unique perspective on the holiday of Christmas, along with a very measured and mature reflection on it. Elevate that meaning with more pointed sensory language and details to bring the reader into the room with you - and use that process to also clarify what you hope readers take away in the end.

over 1 year

December Doesn't Exist

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Hi Lindsay270 - Thanks for sharing this piece! This narrative could be elevated with some careful consideration around your main idea. Make sure that each anecdote and paragraph is contributing to that takeaway, so that the piece stays focused and maintains the strong voice you've already established. Happy early birthday!

over 1 year

My December

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Hi Kaetlyn_Does_Covers - Thanks for sharing this narrative piece! To take this to the next level, spend some time zooming in (on sensory details and curated language) then zooming out (to ensure you're telling a story that matters in a global sense). You have a great start here!

over 1 year

December's Constant

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Hi Lauren - Thanks for sharing this piece with us! Remember who your audience might be - readers from around the world and from different cultures may be left wondering about some of the rituals you describe here. Dig in with detail, and make sure you highlight your own perspective on things. Why is this time special to you, and what have you learned from it as you found it changing over time?

over 1 year

My Perfectly Imperfect December

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Hi sola.c! Thank you for sharing this writing with us! You've made a great start. I would encourage you to refine the language you use to describe the banal phenomenon that makes your December unique, and ensure that the connections between the stories you integrate and your big takeaway are super clear. Well done!

over 1 year

Christmas in Vernon

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Hi Purple Kitty 2001 - Thank you for sharing this! I am excited to see how this piece evolves to represent a more global perspective. You have the skeleton of your own experience, but you can take it to the next level by building in context and details to help the reader identify with the stories and find the big idea that matters most to you when it comes to reflecting on Vernon and December.

over 1 year

Christmas and all its glory

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Hi Garrett - Thank you for the submission. It's apparent you have a perspective on December and the holiday season. We would love to see you expand on that in a fully flushed out piece. Use this paragraph as an outline for main ideas you might dig into.

over 1 year

Come Back, December

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Hi igmwhite - Thank you for sharing this deeply personal story with us. Please review the WtW terms and conditions around concerning content, and make sure you are writing about challenging times in a way that would be safe for all members of the Write the World community to read and reflect on. Dig into details of your personal growth story, and focus on how positive change unfolded!

over 1 year

Christmas Fog and loops.

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Hi KuulPenguin! Thank you for sharing this narrative with us. You are off to a strong start, and I would encourage you to open up around character development through more robust anecdotes. Tell us the nitty gritty of building a snow fort! What does it feel like? Why do you remember parts of it? What was it like to share that experience with others?

over 1 year

Redhot

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Dear suburban-nightlife, Thank you for sharing this personal piece with us. I would encourage you to think on what your big idea is. You touch on themes of friendship, family, holiday giving/gifts, and ritual. How are these anecdotes related in a way that shows your perspective on whatever big idea you are trying to pursue?

over 1 year

December Down South

PROMPT: My December Writing Competition 2018

Hi LoganW Thank you for sharing this piece! Please begin by rereading the competition prompt and thinking critically about how this piece fits into it. Do you truly capture your personal experience of December? You focus outward, and that is a great writing tactic, but how can you include both ideas and perspectives to lend credibility to your generalizations about December in Florida?

over 1 year

River in a Bottle Excerpt

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Hi My Voice- This is a compelling draft. Aside from the other comments, give the piece a good proofread for spelling and usage errors. I am excited to see how this excerpt evolves! Well done

over 1 year

Free

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Joy - Thanks for sharing this excerpt! It is a tidy draft and well constructed. Dig into some details, and refine your setting and timeline to make these characters stand out above the known plot line.

over 1 year

Disguised Assassin Part 1

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Dear Aminah McBina - Thank you for sharing this excerpt. Look for places where details about the space, time, and place could enhance the experience of reading along with these characters. Define or refine relationships so we can follow along, and make sure the reader has enough information to meet you where this excerpt is at. Well done!

over 1 year

The Princess and the Wizard

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Ella - Thank you for sharing this mystical and fantastical piece. You establish an exciting relationship among characters and take them on a journey. Think about how to represent the "why" -- how can you capture the arc of the bigger story within this scene that already welcomes us into the world of Dalia and Elijah.

over 1 year

Replay

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Dear korra4life - Thank you for sharing this enriched piece of writing. There are big themes and a huge story to tell. Consider ways to set up the bigger picture through this small sample so that readers are eager to page through your entire novel.

over 1 year

War in Mind

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Serenity - Thanks for sharing this piece for review. It is full of enticing detail and character development. It is the beginning of a novel I would like to read as a whole. Keep up the good work!

over 1 year

Confession

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Hi the_artists - Thank you for sharing this draft. Tidy up the technicalities of the writing, and help the reader find some context to make this excerpt extra impactful. You've got a great start here!

over 1 year

Swallow

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Hi BeTheChange18 - Thanks for sharing this piece! You've clearly put a lot of really great writing time into this. I challenge you to zoom into a single scene that will reveal the most about the big ideas in this story. Help the reader understand who Itsumi is at a fundamental level, and reveal more about the context in which she embarks on this dream.

over 1 year

A Tale of Two Kings - a story of friendship and sharing

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Anna - Thank you for sharing this piece with us. As you revise, review the submission guidelines and consider honing in on a handful of details that get breezed over in this piece. There is a lot that happens, and presumably a lot of time that passes. What would happen if you wrote every detail of something that happens in one hour of this story?

over 1 year

Chapter 2 of "The Atypical Cinderella"

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Hannah! Thanks for sharing this chapter. Your characters are self-aware and full of complexity. I look forward to reading a revised version that amplifies the setting as a real catalyst for telling the story.

over 1 year

The Witching Hour (Excerpt)

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Dear Ford Prefect - Thank you for sharing this abridged excerpt! You have a new universe to build with this piece, and it will thrive with strong character development, original conflict, and vivid details. Exercise that in this excerpt, and you're onto something great!

over 1 year

Shades of Me.

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Natalie - This is such a robust and impressive submission. It's clear that you have a whole universe in your head that's shaping up into this story. Revise with an eye for clarity and brevity; what information is missing, what details can be made more precise, how can you help readers acclimate to this world? No matter how you revise, though, hold on to the artistic language throughout!

over 1 year

Organs of the orchestra

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Jolene! Thanks for sharing this excerpt! Along with the comments above, make time for a thorough proofread to make sure there are no spelling/usage errors to distract from this enticing story you've created! Keep it up!

over 1 year

"Made to Be Broken" - Extract.

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Stormguard798 - Thank you for sharing this very active and turning-point excerpt! You've introduced characters with a readily apparent conflict and set yourself up to build out a story around them. For this submission, make sure it can stand alone by enriching it with details about the people, place, and time period. That will elevate this energetic scene into a compelling story!

over 1 year

Dawson

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

Kveldulf - Thanks for sharing this excerpt! As you edit, look for ways to clarify the when and where of each piece and consider giving the reader a few more clues about this alternate, mystical force. This is an excellent start, and it's energy is palpable. Keep it up!

over 1 year

Definitions of Impossible

PROMPT: Speech Writing Competition 2018

Thank you for sharing this! There is such a good start in this piece, with evident passion. Clarify you main goal in presenting this speech, and use that to drive how you refine and edit the details and transitions.

almost 2 years

Freedom

PROMPT: Speech Writing Competition 2018

Dear caity.V7 - thanks for sharing this deep piece. I would challenge you to connect these sweeping allegories and metaphors to something embodied in your own experience, and fold that into a more apparent structure. Otherwise, you've written and compelling draft of a speech.

almost 2 years

Scribbles

PROMPT: Speech Writing Competition 2018

Hi AJ - Isabel; thanks for writing this speech. You've inspired me to get crafty! Revise in the direction of coherence from start to finish; make sure every word counts and that you aren't leaving out details that could elevate your appeal.

almost 2 years

Learning from the past

PROMPT: Speech Writing Competition 2018

Hi Elijah - thanks for sharing this piece! You're off to a great start. I would encourage you to refine you're use of punctuation and structure to make this easily interpretable for locution, and consider supporting your argument with more precise evidence.

almost 2 years

Change In Our Schools

PROMPT: Speech Writing Competition 2018

Dear emmagudmonson - thanks for sharing this speech! I can imagine you speaking to the student body, the PTA, the school board with this strong point of view. Revise to eliminate redundant ideas and possibly integrate a more personal appeal to keep your audience invested.

almost 2 years

Am I Next?

PROMPT: Speech Writing Competition 2018

Hi Pinky23 - thanks for sharing this piece with us. You are tackling a big topic, and you are clearly passionate about it. Take time to revise for clarity of purpose, and infuse some exciting language into those edits. On a good track!

almost 2 years

Blame the victim

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi Gin - thanks for writing and sharing! I think you are on the right track, but I would suggest you look for ways to make more apparent your main themes and takeaways. Maybe that's in more detail, or in making the whole piece more concise???

almost 2 years

All I Ask Is That You Care

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi Opened_Mind - thanks for sharing this narrative. I would encourage you to consider expanding on the reflection pieces and really activate those anecdotes. Dig deep into the meaning each of those experiences provided for you.

almost 2 years

Change is Important

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi Misty - thanks for sharing this piece. I would encourage you to reflect on and consider including more information about the change you personally experienced as you alluded to at the very end. This will make your piece more relatable and credible.

almost 2 years

A Change For Equality

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi Hailey - thanks for sharing this narrative. You command your story telling voice with well written dialogue and the right level of detail. Refine the connection you build with the reader by making sure your tone is consistent, and the level of detail helps us connect to your internal experience as much as we are able to partake in your physical and social experience.

almost 2 years

The Way you Treat Others Makes a Change

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi theflashisbae1 - thanks for sharing this piece, and for being an active ally. Reflect on the original prompt, and what kind of piece you've presented here. Are the structures, devices, and types of detail you provide all hallmarks of a personal narrative? Dive into your own experience, and activate that for readers as you revise.

almost 2 years

No Such Thing

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi Nocturnal - thank you for sharing this very personal piece with us. You have a strong foundation, but I would encourage you to commit more page space to the "present" you introduce us to here, and also think on the perspective you use (3rd vs 1st person). This will surely be an inspiring piece for some readers.

almost 2 years

Change is Opportunity

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi ciaranicoleshaw - thank you for writing and sharing this piece, which is really, at its core, about vulnerability. This is an important theme that is so valuable to reflect on. I love the idea you come to at the end, about our personal thoughts about worthiness. Look for ways to massage that theme into the whole piece using examples from your own life. You're on the right track!

almost 2 years

Once Upon A Time

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi Gisela! Thanks for sharing this piece out! I am curious to see how it evolves, because I know you will be able to tighten it up and hone in on your personal experience. Make sure every paragraph adds valuable information, and that you convey your meaning with powerful language!

almost 2 years

A major change.

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi Anailene22 - thanks for sharing this perspective. I would highly encourage you to consider adding more personal anecdotes and stories into this piece. Remember that this is a personal narrative piece, so we want to hear your experience in great detail.

almost 2 years

Autumn Leaf

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi PureHeart - thanks for sharing this very appropriate seasonal piece! As in my comments above, I would highly encourage you to dive into the details of your own story, and use the autumn leaf device as just that: a device that supports your perspective, rather than the central component of the piece. Good start!

almost 2 years

Owning Change

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi Joanne - thanks for sharing this personal narrative. You've explored some hefty ideas! As you refine this piece, I would encourage you to focus on what stories and real life experiences you're sharing to help contextualize your reflections.

almost 2 years

My Band of Change

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi Zoot! Thanks for telling this story. You write with ease and clarity, so use your revision time to think critically about the meaning of this piece at a high level. What does this experience mean to you? What could it mean to a reader? How can you make that abundantly clear in your writing in a holistic way?

almost 2 years

How I'm changing, and the world is too

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi GH_Writer - thanks for sharing this reflection on change and the newly abnormal experiences you're having. This is a wild time for you personally and in the bigger landscape. I'm glad you're seeing parallels. Use your language and metaphors to highlight the similarities, and differences, and you will have a strong narrative.

almost 2 years

Business Casual

PROMPT: Personal Essay Competition: Making Change 2018

Hi Arliemaye! Thanks for sharing this huge triumph with us in a personal narrative! I enjoyed reading it, and I would encourage you to dig deep into the motivations and personal elements of your experience in making change. There is room for deep details and personal reflection, which will supplement your story about making your way through the legislature more meaningful for yourself and for readers.

almost 2 years

Rejecting our inner self

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

Hi Shiraz! Thanks for sharing this piece, and for thinking intently about a big question for humanity! What is our role and responsibility in relation to the natural world? Deepen your perspective by adding personal anecdotes and experiences. Think critically about your points of comparison and the types and amount of detail you provide. Don't stop thinking about this important global issue!

almost 2 years

The Wilderness

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

Durva - thank you for sharing this poem with us! You take a clear stance on what's happening to the environment, and I think your position would be strengthened by adding clarifying language and details about a part of the world that you care deeply about. Call it out, highlight the problems. Activate the reader's senses to empathize with the problem.

almost 2 years

Into the Forest

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

Hi ViviB - Thank you for sharing this experience and piece of writing! I would encourage you to delve into the environmental component of the story - where were you when you saw James? What were the sensations? Why did the place evoke that experience and the "healing"? That, along with a clean proofread, will really elevate this personal piece.

almost 2 years

To Cutie

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

Hello heyitsnhuy - thanks for sharing this! I thoroughly enjoyed this poem. I would encourage you to look back at the prompt and think about ways to bridge your ideas and story here to the big picture guidelines. You've written a captivating poem!

almost 2 years

this avalanche of smoke

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

Hi Isabelle.c! Thank you for writing and sharing this commandeering piece. I was so taken by your language play and repetition. As you revise and tweak, look for ways to make your position and your point a little more transparent. Whether that means more overt transitions, more or less repetition, or selective word choice to call out your point of view, find ways to make your thesis known - you have a beautiful set of images and structures to support it!

almost 2 years

Forest

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

Hi Kaydenblue - thanks for writing and sharing this poem! I would encourage you to reflect on who this poem is for, and how you represent perspective in the piece. Your imagery is there, but does it describe exactly what you want to discuss? Look for ways to specify, whether it's pointed use of grammatical structures or bits of dramatic vocabulary that call out this experience and precisely why it merits a poem all to itself.

almost 2 years

Window Panes and Rainy Days

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

Hi Sara - thank you for writing and sharing this piece! I too am a big fan of the rain, and I'm glad you could share this habit and experience that is so meaningful to you. Revise with that in mind - will the reader fully internalize why this matters? Either on a personal or a global scale? Your level of detail is appropriate and it is well organized, so focus on implementing devices and stylistic points around content that will drive your main themes home!

almost 2 years

Nature: A Key Component Of My Life

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

Hi Lilly! Thanks for sharing this piece about your relationship with nature. I'm so glad you've come to appreciate the outdoors over time. As you revise, dig into some specific anecdotes or instances to demonstrate your feelings and change over time. I think this will add depth and authenticity to the piece, so long as you continue to write cleanly and clearly as you have in this draft!

almost 2 years

the world at my feet

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

Hi livhurtado! Thank you for sharing this reflection piece! I would encourage you to reflect even further on your true purpose in this piece. Does your reflection transform into a call to action? Are you advocating for a change in behavior? Is this about your creative juices coming to life out of nature? Think on that, and organize your piece accordingly!

almost 2 years

Biophilia

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

Hi PureHeart - Thank you for sharing this. As you revise, make sure you provide the right amount of information for your reader. Clearly, you appreciate this place and are highly sensitive to the beauty in the details; however, your reader may need a little assistance in visualizing that place and coming to understand why there is value there. Your vocabulary and imagery is poetic and perfect, just massage the big picture throughout the piece!

almost 2 years

Chewing Gum

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hi AJ Grace - thank you for opening up about this experience. You have so much to say here, starting with your tremendously detailed account about your relationship with your father as an infant, and then your transition to forgiveness as you grow up. Use a revision period to dig into why you felt the way you did at each stage, and why your perspective changed over time. This is a very compelling narrative, so keep making it emotional and related to the big picture!

almost 2 years

A Morning in Town

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hello PiperBakes - thank you for sharing this story with us! I've been in your shoes before, and feeling intentionally left out is not something I would wish on anyone. As you prepare for a next draft, dig deep into why this story matters to you. What components are the most important, and what will each piece convey to the audience? You reveal your lesson in the end, about forgiveness and good karma almost, so consider imbuing the entire piece with this theme.

almost 2 years

Virginian Love

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hi katiesmith1021 - thanks for sharing this intimate narrative, I truly felt like I was living this experience as I read. Have a look back at the prompt for this project - and consider what parts of the story you are still hiding inside of you. This narrative shares a very personal moment, and it alludes to a larger series of events, but I'm wondering now about your motivation, your perceptions of romance, love, and relationships up until this summer happened. Well written, and a pleasure to read.

almost 2 years

Regrets

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hi chricha - thank you for sharing this tremendous narrative piece. You tell an incredible story about regret, resentment, and reflection. As you refine this piece, I would encourage you to identify the main takeaway you hope your readers find, and fold that into the beginning, middle, and end. This may be subtle, and a matter of word choice, but clarifying the purpose in small ways could make this powerful piece even more gripping.

almost 2 years

a new Tomorrow

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hi wraithofwishes - I think your note at the bottom is very telling. You clarify the context and the challenges of writing this piece, so I wonder if that information could be integrated into the narrative itself? Try rereading and revising this piece as a naive audience member - what needs to happen for a reader to feel your pain and experience your memories in a concrete way without you needing to clarify in the footnotes?

almost 2 years

What I've Lost At The Dinner Table

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hi Sarah - thank you for sharing about this important part of your life! I think you have a great start here, but use a second draft to hit home the big ideas you're conveying: that identity is a complicated thing, that communication is crucial to our most important relationships, that generational gaps are a real phenomenon. Hone in on those themes, and make sure every paragraph and anecdote is contributing to telling that story.

almost 2 years

Checkmate? Stalemate

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hello hurricandicanes - Thanks for sharing this experience with me! It sounds like you learned a lot from this series of events. Think about how you can make that abundantly clear from the get go, and make sure that every paragraph serves your main takeaways. I would like to learn more about the unique circumstances and character traits that may have prompted these actions and behaviors, so think about details you still have inside you that might help your audience understand.

almost 2 years

Apple pie

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hi Sprinkleofchaos - thank you for telling this story, these things are so difficult but writing it can be extra cathartic. Work on defining the global theme that bridges the beginning, middle and end. The story you tell and the relationship you share with the reader is rich and engrossing, so finish it off with a cohesive ribbon of global significance! Great work.

almost 2 years

My Story

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Dear Craft N Joyer - I'm so glad you're slowly getting settled in Missouri, thank you for sharing this story. As you revise, look for places where detail could enhance the story and help the reader understand your perspective. Also reflect on your goal for the piece - is it an objective report on your move, or is it something more universal, about change, faith, family? Good luck!

almost 2 years

The Moment

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Phateymah - thank you for sharing this personal narrative! I feel like I've gotten to know you and your father well by reading it. You have some strong ideas and big themes to tackle, so before drafting again, take some time to reflect on how the ideas you open with are pertinent to the conclusion you come to. What was your moment, if it was a single moment at all? Read from your audience's perspective, then dive back in to your personal experience.

almost 2 years

His Parents

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hi Christie - thank you for sharing this very emotional story about you and your family. I would encourage you to reflect on the purpose of this piece, and think about what motivated you to write it. What do you hope readers take away? Is it something about you, your little brother, your relationship, the impact of addiction on a family? There are numerous themes that come up, and I think your next draft can clarify that and bring it home for your audience. Thank you for a tremendous read, and for being so good to D.

almost 2 years

This is my story.

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hi Cathery - thank you for sharing this deeply personal and vulnerable piece of writing. It is a relief to hear that you've found solace in writing. As you revise, remember what your audience does and doesn't know about your experience, and what they could gain from more details about each theme you present. You have a strong skeleton of a piece, and an important life experience to share about. Dig into what made it your experience and no one elses.

almost 2 years

Writing be my mourning voice

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hi Moonbay - thank you for sharing this deeply personal piece. You're off to a great start; you've written a clear narrative that gets at the fundamental challenges of making choices. External pressure, internal turmoil, the possibility of doing the wrong thing that we'll never be sure of. Take those themes to heart, and infuse them into the piece from start to finish, and you will have something that is even more cathartic and compelling.

almost 2 years

Emmanicpation

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hi Ajia - this was gripping to read. Thank you for sharing this narrative. I look forward to reading a revision that strengthens your voice as the one living this experience in the past and reflecting on it in the present. Make sure you communicate the good and the bad about all of your characters, and bring your readers along in all of the details you've already provided. I hope you have found a way to be emancipated.

almost 2 years

How Raindrops Became Home

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

Hi Erin - who knew a piece about the weather could be so satisfying to read! Your command of detail and imagery is superb, but I would encourage you to reread the prompt and make sure you're sharing a narrative. What personal takeaway will the reader identify here? What is relatable, beyond the physical sensations of the weather? Think about your intention for the piece, clarify the what/where/why, and hold on to the rich sensory details! Thanks for sharing!

almost 2 years

Not Now

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

JaeD - thank you for sharing this deeply personal piece. As you get ready to revise, think deeply about the central idea you want to convey, and make sure that every single word, phrase, and paragraph is helping build on that idea. You have a rich experience to draw from - it surely had positive and negatives. Are you drawing from all parts of that experience? What details have you left out that will help your readers understand you and your story?

almost 2 years

Why Me?

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

HyperDuck815 - thank you for sharing about this very vulnerable experience, and representing your feelings about the sequence of events in a raw way. You have a strong draft here, so as you revise, look for ways to clarify your central theme and the shifts in emotion you experienced. So much in life is up and down and unpredictable, so help the reader get to know this unstable time by enriching this story with details and clear sequencing. Thanks for the read!

almost 2 years

A Day In Solo

PROMPT: Travel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Sammy! Thanks for taking me to Sola! You have a very thorough and thoughtful write here! As you prepare to revise, think critically about what the reader brings or doesn't bring to the piece. Also reflect on what you really want to demonstrate with this piece -- is is a step by step walkthrough of your top recommendations, is it an emotional appeal to your personal connections, or is it about the challenges of seeing a city in one day? Keep working on this, it's off to a great start!

about 2 years

Malinawon, Madayaw!

PROMPT: Travel Writing Competition 2018

Hi there! Thank you for this energetic and passionate essay on your relationship with Davao. As you revise, remember who your audience is and look for places to clarify using transitions, carefully placed descriptors, or maybe just some facts about the place. You develop the setting so well, without telling too much. I really enjoyed this story, which happens to share so much about a place!

about 2 years

This is Home

PROMPT: Travel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Jemimah! Thanks for the trip to Singapore! It is clear that you love the place and never take it for granted. As you revise, take time to consider the historical component of your relationship to Singapore and it's natural wonders. Your allusion to ancestors, to World War 2, and your being born and raised there has lots of potential to elevate your narrative! This is a solid draft, and I really enjoyed reading it!

about 2 years

Tough as a Michigander

PROMPT: Travel Writing Competition 2018

LyraLynne: Thank you so much for sharing this intimate tour of Grandville. You put a lot of your heart and deeply personal experiences here. As you revise, consider what you want readers to take away from this piece. You seem torn between reporting on the town's activities and structures, and delving into the personal experience of the community. What matters most to the sense of place? You've got it in you! This was a lovely read.

about 2 years

Camden, Delaware

PROMPT: Travel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Alicea! Thank you for sharing this highly personal piece. While it pushes on the boundaries of the travel genre, this piece shows a lot about your relationship to this place. Think over your purpose, and look for ways to heighten the setting of your narrative, but on the whole, this is an intriguing and solid write!

about 2 years

Superior Ashland

PROMPT: Travel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Ella! Thank you for taking me to this beautiful place! You have a really solid first draft here, and it is full of rich vocabulary and appropriate details. Use your revision to take a good look at the structure of the entire piece. You've created a sense of place, now focus on the thematic takeaway through the structure of the piece, as well as the perspective of the reader as they interpret your strong voice as the author.

about 2 years

The Liveliest Town of Death

PROMPT: Travel Writing Competition 2018

Hello Flowerful! Thank you for bringing us along to Malemort with us. I would encourage you to think critically about the genre and your agenda with this piece. There is such a rich personal narrative here, which suits the prompt, but be sure to tie it to the purpose of travel writing! Why Malemort? It means "Town of Death," but make it abundantly clear what it means to YOU!

about 2 years

City Wonders

PROMPT: Travel Writing Competition 2018

Hi Ken! Thanks for brining me to NYC! You flatter your home town in this jam-packed piece. I look forward to a revision that clarifies the perspective of the reader, and unpacks some of the finer details. This is a great start, and I think you convey the mood, pace, and feeling of the setting with great skill!

about 2 years

Brisbane

PROMPT: Travel Writing Competition 2018

Hi kdxt4life! Thank you for taking me on this whirlwind romp around Brisbane! I really appreciated the collision of history and present day experiences -- it's clear that you know this place well and have done your research. In your revisions, thing carefully about the flow of the piece, both as a writer and as a reader who may choose this piece as their first introduction to a foreign place (like myself!). I'm enchanted by your description of the city and its history. Use your revision time to clarify what matters most, and smooth out the transitions and usage! Thank you!

about 2 years