feeling like i'm drowning 
these days are all the same
i'm stuck in my prison,
called my head 
i can't find the key
nor the officer 

when will i get broken out?
everyday is torture, 
i can't get out bed
someone please,
help me??

my mind is constantly eating at me,
i’m reliving past mistakes,
nightmares glisten my eyes,
it’s honestly tiring,

i’m up all night,
recalling things they’ve said,
i can’t get it out of my head,
i want to call for help,
when will i be unleashed from this cell?

you’re always so cold to me
yet my heart warms up when i see you
i can feel me burning up
slowly sprawling over my body
how do i get these feelings to stop?

am i too good for you?
or am i not enough?
i’m lost on these roads
everything is blocking my way
the path to you seems so long
i’ll run out of gasoline before i reach you
…
but is that for the best?


 

the key to your heart is always changing
your aperture never stays the same
i’m drowning in the countless keys i’ve made
nothing is working
nothing goes my way

let me pick up the remaining shards of your heart
i’ll wrap them around my neck in chains
i know how to treasure things
can’t you see?

your replies are empty
but i’m always there to fill them
i ask countless questions
your answers are non-existent 
you’re obsessed with her
you never stop telling me about her

i remind you of her sometimes
i act like her somehow

a penny for my thoughts?
how do i fill that gap?
i never stop trying to
it’s a rigged game
what do you want for me?

i try to stop your pain
i want to make your hurt go...

it doesn’t matter who i talk to
i’m just waiting for it to happen
waiting for the hurt to come
it’s okay
you can leave me now
ghost me like everyone else did
i’m ready for it
my heart is drowned in red
i grab the whiteout to hide it

i gotta drown all the feels away
hiding is what I’m good at it
you should know that by now

…

when will i be asked what i want?
maybe...