Your writing is concise and straight to the point, which is very good for a short story of this theme. Most importantly: Please set the scene. Build a setting for your reader to visualize using description and make sure they know when the scene is changing. As much as possible, try and make sure the reader is reading the story you meant to tell. That by reading the story they can see it and understand it just as well as you do. It was a pleasure reading this story. It's quite honestly the best children's short story I've ever read on this site.
Paragraphing. Reading a flowing prose text with no indentation or breaks can be a bit tedious and offputting to the reader. Otherwise, I really like the story and how you told it really gave it life. You're a great writer and I can't wait to read the next draft!
I really like this poem and I think you have greatness ahead of you. I can't wait to see what you do with the ending.
Very impressive and well thought out.
PROMPT: That Sort of Person
I really enjoyed reading this. It was quite good.