Hawkins waves his hand in the air. “It’s completely fine,” he says casually. That’s how Sam Hawkins always seems - casual. Him, with his tousled, shaggy pale brown hair that’s nearly shoulder length. Him, with his deep green eyes that seem to constantly be focused on something else, somewhere else. Him, with his long arms crossed over his chest and his long legs draped over the chair. When I first told Violet about him she made fun of me, saying...

I find a sense of home not in a place, but in a feeling. Places can be inconsistent - plants can wither and die, furniture can be moved, you can grow up and grow away from somewhere, even from your own house, but feelings are consistent, even if you may find yourself feeling them much less frequently than you used to.
    It used to be so much easier to get lost in a book. I could finish my schoolwork early...

class starts at seven
the sound of music fills the room
and a single out-of-tune note makes it all fall apart
the teacher shakes his head at you in disappointment
be more
focused, aware, careful.

you navigate the crowded halls
the sound of chatter pressing in on you
you shove through a crowd of people blocking the way
they glare at you, alone amongst their friendships
be more
social, outgoing, gregarious

lunchtime 
the cafeteria is packed, not a single empty...

It's sunny, yet there's snow on the ground, a paradox rivaled only by the boys wearing shorts and playing ball despite the freezing temperatures. They aren't the only ones outside - you see girls doing their makeup at the picnic tables, students frantically trying to finish their reading before English class starts, freshman and sophomores and juniors and seniors laughing and joking and chattering. Despite all of their differences, there's a sense of unity among the courtyard kids, and even...

netflix trip - ajr
    don't you tell me that it's just a show.
carry you - novo amor
    fade me away, i won't ever be the same.
starlight - jai wolf
    we'll float until we fly.
someone to you - BANNERS
    i don't wanna die or fade away.
mercy/gatekeeper - hayley kiyoko
    bang, bang, i start to fly.
kiss the boy - keiynan lonsdale
    open your light and...

I have always been disdainful of the genre known simply as ‘teen’. Intended to be relatable, these films tended to fall short of my expectations, hindered by their much-too-old actors portraying the protagonists, the unrealistic interactions between the characters, and, most prominently, their formulatic, fairytale romances. Whenever I saw another one of these films appear on a movie times listing, my gaze would slide right over it.
So what exactly was it that led me to travel hours from home...