Karen Umeora

United States of America

When I write, I get sucked into another blissful world.
I've loved to write my whole life, and I'm glad that I've found a community with a bunch of people like me.

Message from Writer

Feel free to come to me if you ever need advice on your writing!

Peer Reviews

12/11/19

PROMPT: Lyrical Stratum

I think your piece has so much potential to be an amazing story. However, you had so many comma and grammar errors in your story. Grammar errors can distract readers from your actual story. I did point out some of the issues, but I know I didn't get all of then. If you have any questions about your piece, leave a comment. I'll get back to it as soon as I can :) Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

._../_ _ _/.../_

PROMPT: Open Prompt

Is that your final title? Titles might not seem important, but they are. If you have an uninteresting title, the less people will actually read your story. Anyways, this piece is really good. As I've said earlier in this review, I would love to see you add more imagery and figurative language. Maybe, expand more his life before everything was just gone. I think that would add a more dramatic touch your piece. Keep on writing! If you have any more questions just leave a comment. I'll get back to it as soon as I can! :) - Karen

about 1 month

For those who runaway from the movement- Title borrowed from Fay Chiang

PROMPT: “Landmarks and Geography”

I enjoyed reading this piece. I hope you had just as much enjoyment writing it. If you have any questions about your piece, leave a comment. I'll get back to it as soon as I can :) Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

It's Just a Little too Loud

FREE WRITING

I really liked this piece. It reminded me I have a semester test to study for LOL. You captured such a painstakingly "beautiful" moment in a class. Good job. If you have any questions about your piece, leave a comment. I'll get back to it as soon as I can :) Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

The Bluebird's Song

PROMPT: Hiker's Haiku

I liked this piece! It's so hard to create emotion with just three line of poetry, however, you succeeded in doing that! Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

The End

PROMPT: Now to Then

This piece oozes effort. I always love to see pieces that people tried their hardest on. Great job! Thank you for writing this amazing piece! :) If you have any questions, leave a comment. I'll get back to it as fast as I can! Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

heavy with

PROMPT: Whom We Carry

I think this piece was fantastic. Like I've said, your writing voice is so beautiful. I could only dream to have that beautiful of a writing voice. Anyways, if you have any questions about your piece, leave a comment. I'll get back to it as soon as I can :) Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

0 - The Fool

FREE WRITING

Thank you for blessing me with this piece. This is a poem I will for sure share. My aunt just gave birth, and I would love to show her this poem. Anyways, if you have any questions about your piece, leave a comment. I will get back to it as soon as I can :) Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

epiphany

FREE WRITING

I liked your piece. It was simple, like I've already said, and sweet. I would totally read your piece after an epiphany and laugh at how accurate it is. You captured a great moment and emotion with just a few words :) If you have any questions, just leave a comment. I'll get back to it as soon as I can. Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

Letter to my future children

PROMPT: Words to the Young

Your piece has such an interesting premise. It's something I don't think a lot of people do. There is one thing I noticed. Your sentences jumped from topic to topic and back then forward in an unorganized fashion. Yes, I still understood your piece and felt the love flowing through it. However, I feel like your piece could be so much greater than it already is without those rebellious sentences. I pointed out some parts that confused me, but I didn't get all of it. I suggest getting a piece of paper and planning out what you're going to say for each paragraph. Anyways, I would love to see you keep on editing this piece. If you make a new version, just tell me, and I'll read it :) Keep on Writing - Karen

about 1 month

A Cold, Cruel Place

FREE WRITING

I would give your piece a 10/10! I enjoyed reading it and would read it again :) If you have any questions just leave a comment :) Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

Pearl

FREE WRITING

The only thing I would like to point is your verbosity. You used some words that weren't necessarily needed. There's nothing wrong with that, but, sometimes, being concise is the way to go. Being verbose causes unnecessary repetition and run-on sentences. I think this piece has so much potential! I really enjoyed reading this! However, I would love to see you keep on editing this piece to make it the best it can be. I would read the next version! Keep on writing! Feel free to ask me if you have any more questions! - Karen

about 1 month

Was It Worth What You Won?

FREE WRITING

Your idea for this story is 10/10. I believe it must've taken a lot of effort to form an idea like this. I also realized the little pattern you had going on through your piece. I'm not sure if you meant to do this on purpose, but I LOVED IT. It adds a unique touch to your piece. I don't know how to describe this "pattern." Actually, its more like a rhythm through your poem. It's so hearty yet easygoing at the same time. However, I didn't understand the main theme of your story. I understand there's a beauty in vagueness, but I believe you were too vague. I couldn't quite put my finger on the theme until the last two stanzas. The first two stanzas seem to just be build up stanzas. I think with the ratio of how long your poem is your build up stanzas shouldn't be that long. Still, I believe your piece is so amazing. I want to see you push your talents to the max. I would love to read your new version of this story! If you have any questions, please leave me a comment! Keep on writing! -Karen

about 1 month

Every Savage Can Dance

PROMPT: Word Collage

If you have any questions about your piece, I'd love to answer them :) Just leave a comment, and I'll get back to it as soon as I can. I really liked your piece. Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

I Don't Like to Fly

PROMPT: Word Collage

If you have any questions or need advice with what to do with your piece, leave a comment! I always love to help, and I'll get to it as soon as I can :) Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

HUSH...

FREE WRITING

I liked all your descriptions in your piece! They were all so good. However, you jam-packed them into your sentences creating a million of run-on sentences. I pointed out some of them but not all. Maybe check out these resources https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma/ and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fh45mhVsZrU If you have any questions about your piece, leave a comment! I'll get back to it as soon as I can :) Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

What to do? I come to you.

PROMPT: Whom We Carry

I like this piece! Good job! You have such an amazing flow and voice in this piece. Your flow and voice create this rhythm that still buzzes in my head as I write this review. If you have any questions about your piece, leave a comment. I'm always ready to help, and I'll get back to it as soon as I can :) - Karen

about 1 month

I'd Be A Fool

FREE WRITING

There isn't anything else I would say. The only thing I would suggest is doing a quick grammar check. I noticed some run-on sentences and incomplete sentences in your piece. I did highlight some, but I'm not sure if I got all of them. Anyways, your piece is really good, and I'm not just saying it to say it. Your voice, tone, rhythm were all on point. This piece really touched my heart. If you have any questions about your pice, just leave a comment. I'll get to it as soon as I can :) Keep on writing! - Karen

about 1 month

We walk through the meadow

PROMPT: Open Prompt

10/10! Your piece was amazing. You barely had any grammar mistakes, and I had no problems understanding the meaning of this piece. Your writing style is also awesome. It shows that you put effort into this piece :) PS. I can't believe you said poetry wasn't your strongest writing form! You're so good at it! And, I don't think this piece needs to be extended. Keep on writing! If you have any questions about your piece just leave a comment, and I'll answer it as soon as I can! - Karen

about 1 month

Smell of Smoking

PROMPT: Inhale.

Keep on writing! If you have any questions about your piece, just leave a comment. I'm always ready to help, and I'll get back to it as soon as I can :) -Karen

about 1 month

When the Clock Strikes Twelve

PROMPT: Now to Then

I really like the premise of your story here! It's so interesting that you didn't just take the "happily ever after" and, instead, used your imagination to create something else you think happened. Good job! Anyways, keep on writing! If you have any questions about your piece, just leave a comment. I'll get back to it as soon as I can :) - Karen

about 1 month

Atlas

FREE WRITING

This poem is a 10/10 in my book. I can feel the effort you put into this piece. I love seeing people actually put effort into poems instead of just slapping something down. Your poetry skills are out of this world. I would love to see more of your pieces. Your voice is so soothing yet strong at the same time. Good job and keep on writing! If you have any questions about your piece, just leave a comment. I'll get back to it as soon as i can :) - Karen

about 1 month

The written word

PROMPT: Why I Write

I really love this piece! The only thing I would wish for is if you made your piece longer and broke it into stanzas. I also really like that you chose to make it rhyme. When I see poems that rhyme, I can tell that person put hard work and love into their piece. Keep on writing! If you have any questions, just leave a comment. I'll get back to it as soon as I can :) - Karen

about 1 month

Set course for the Virgin Sea.

PROMPT: Word Collage

I love your voice in your poem! Keep on writing! I would love to see you keep on working on this piece. If you have any questions, just leave a comment. I'll get back to it as soon as I can :) - Karen

about 1 month

You said it yourself

FREE WRITING

Apart from some minor comma mistakes, this piece is awesome, 10/10. I would recommend it to someone suffering in a bad relationships. I truly believe your words would help liberate that person from that relationship. I love this so so much! You have such a powerful inspiring voice in your writing. I can't wait to see where that voice of yours will take you! Keep on writing! If you have any questions about your piece, I would love to help. Just leave a comment :) - Karen

about 1 month

Choosing Character.....

PROMPT: YOU in threes

I understand your point, and I love it! Keep on writing! You have such an inspiring voice :) If you have any questions, please leave a comment. I'll get back to it as soon as I can! - Karen

about 1 month

Friends

PROMPT: Lyrical Stratum

Good job with this piece! I think you did amazingly! Keep on writing! If you have any questions, please leave a comment. I'll get back to you as soon as I can :) - Karen

about 1 month

announcing

PROMPT: Doorbells and Dogs

I don't have any suggestions except doing a quick grammar check and comma check. You used so many commas, I thought some of them might be unnecessary. I wasn't sure though. I did point out some that I was sure about. Anyways, I really love this piece. I would totally recommend this piece. You made the characters so likable with just a few paragraphs and dialogue. Your writing brings a relatable smile to my lips! Keep on Writing! - Karen

about 1 month

Simple Growth

PROMPT: One Home

In your piece, I did have problems keeping on track with your writing. You seemed to jump and skip from topic to topic. I suggest taking a minute and organizing your story more thoroughly. If you have any questions about what I mean, I would love to help you if you just leave a comment. Also, I realized you had some minor comma problems. Maybe check out https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma/ It does a really good job in simplifying comma rules :) Overall, I like the message of your story! Good job! I hope that you keep on editing this piece. You can do it! Keep on Writing! - Karen

about 1 month

LIONESS

PROMPT: Animal Alter-Ego

Your piece would make a really good comparison between male and female lions even though this seems quite biased. You didn't really compare the lions to the lionesses in a fair manner. That aside, I want to talk more about how you didn't really follow the prompt. Yes, your piece is good. But, it doesn't follow the prompt. I suggest expanding more on why you relate to lionesses and adding more similes and imagery if you wanted to follow this prompt. If you have any questions, leave a comment. I will answer it as soon as I can! Keep on Writing! - Karen

about 2 months

Use(less) Thought

PROMPT: Afterglow

I think your poem is pretty solid! But if you have anything you want to ask me about it, leave a comment. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Keep on Writing - Karen

about 2 months

Heartbreak

PROMPT: Journey

I can feel the thought and time you put into the piece. It's always nice to see someone trying the best they can. Your piece certainly does have an interesting premise. Isn't it about how you got a crush on a boy who sat next to you, and you became to obsessed with that crush? The only thing I wish you would've done is to expand more on certain areas. It seems as if you were trying to fit things in and only slightly brushed over the main topics. Maybe also work on your order of events? I did end up confused multiple times while reading you piece. Anyway, keep on writing! If you have any questions, leave a comment! I'll answer it as soon as I can! - Karen

about 2 months

I Don't Know Anything Else

PROMPT: Why I Write

I think your piece has an excellent premise, and I'm glad I stumbled across it. While reading your piece, however, I realized you used more commas than necessary which created a lot of run-on sentences. I tried to correct some of them with the highlighting tool, but I'm not sure if I got all of them. I suggest rereading this again specifically on the hunt for unneeded commas. Also, if a sentence seems too long, it's probably a run-on. If that's the case, I suggest splitting the sentence in half. Another thing that caught my attention is that you used so many adjectives. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with those. Adjectives are amazing. But, I think you took it to an extent where it became verbose. And, it's not only the adjectives that are verbose. Once again, I suggest rereading through this and asking yourself if you really need a certain phrase or word. Overall, I think your piece was really relatable. I understand the strong emotions that come attached with writing. Though some of your words were verbose, you had really good word choice! Keep on Writing! If you have any questions about your piece you would like me to answer, just leave a comment! -Karen

about 2 months

I Had This Mentor

PROMPT: Teacher Gratitude

I really love how you decided to take the extra mile and turn this little biography into a poem. You did so good in that, and I love it! You even added actual quotes from books which make me feel all your effort and passion in this. Great Job! If you have any questions about this, I would love to answer them. Just leave a comment to this peer review, and I'll answer it as soon as I can. Keep on writing, Karen.

3 months

Fabric can tell you a lot about a person.

PROMPT: Identity Quilt

I saw your little note at the bottom of the piece about how long it took you to write this. You said it was sad, but honestly that isn't. It shows that you took time and thought into this writing. While reading this, I can surely say I feel all the passion and effort put into this. I really like this piece, and I'm not just saying that to be nice. All your metaphors were amazing, and I wish I could be that good. Overall, this piece is a solid 10/10. If you have any more questions please free feel to leave a comment on here, and I'll try to respond to it as quickly as I can. Keep on writing, Karen

3 months

Salt and The Sea

FREE WRITING

This piece is certainly one I would remember. It seems like an opening to a whole bigger novel. There were some sentences in this piece that were wrong (like run-ons). However, those are quick fixes. I suggest re-reading through this again specifically thinking about your sentence structure. If you have any other questions, please leave a comment here. I would love to help out. Keep on Writing, Karen

3 months

Another one about love.

FREE WRITING

This piece was overall really good. There were some parts that I needed to take a second to decode because the text was confusing, but, apart from that, this piece was really good. Amazing even. I really like your choice to only use the pronouns, "they/them, I/me, you." That choice really adds on to your tone and makes the piece even better. This piece wouldn't be the same if you had actually used names or any other pronoun. Thank you for doing that! I would assume this was written from a boy's perspective talking to a girl, but I also might be completely wrong! I like the mystery. For all I know, this could just actually be about two inanimate objects like a kite and a string. Thank you for this piece. If you have any questions about this piece I didn't answer just leave a comment, and I'll answer them as soon as I can. Keep on Writing, Karen.

4 months

Rocks.

FREE WRITING

This piece is a really good piece. One thing I would suggest is evening out the paragraphs/lines and capitalizing. However, I know things like that are an artist choice. You have a really good voice that provokes emotions in readers. You would probably be the person that makes people cry in public speeches which isn't a bad thing at all. I'm not trying to be your career councilor, but have you ever thought about being a lawyer? Anyway, keep on writing! If you have any questions about your piece, don't hesitate to ask me. I would love to help! -Karen

5 months

the language of art

PROMPT: Universal Knowledge

All the similes and metaphors in this ONE SENTENCE is amazing. You're great at imagery, and that is saying a lot since I've only read one sentence of yours! Great Job! Keep on Writing! - Karen

5 months

Body Language:

PROMPT: Universal Knowledge

I love how you build up to the main thing instead of just saying "Body Language is the universal language of the world." It's great to see that you're putting in more work than required! You also presented a quite relatable case! Keep on Writing! I think you have a really good flow and voice even though I only read one sentence of yours haha - Karen

5 months

ten years later and all i've done is grow

PROMPT: Flash Back

I've come across a bunch of pieces that don't capitalize. I know it's a personal preference, but I think capitalizing makes a piece seem so much better. Plus, I really enjoyed your similes and metaphors throughout the piece. They were all so clever and interesting! I hope you keep on editing this piece. It's so good and wholesome! Perhaps, do another re-read because there were some minor grammar errors in your writing. Keep on Writing! - Karen.

5 months

Mummy?

PROMPT: Child Narrator

I love this piece so much! It's great how you came up with this piece in such a short period of time! One thing I will say is to re-read this piece because there were some minor grammar mistakes scattered throughout the piece. Keep on Writing! - Karen

5 months

today

PROMPT: Child Narrator

Woah, I don't know what to say, just woah. This piece is absolutely gorgeous. It checked all the boxes for me. I think there are more things you could do to this story to make it even better, but it's still brilliant as it is now. I remember reviewing one of your other pieces, and I can see how much you improved! I'm so proud of you! Your voice is amazing in this piece, and you used dramatic irony perfectly! Keep on Writing! - Karen

5 months

To be a Robot

FREE WRITING

I really love how simple yet marvelous this piece is! The idea is so simple, but you rebranded it into an amazing story like I've said about a million times throughout the review. But, for real, I just can't wrap my mind around how you made such an amazing piece just because you phone battery was low! Keep on writing! You have such a good narrative voice that provokes empathy or other relatable feelings in people. - Karen

5 months

Thirteen Days

PROMPT: "Narrative Without People"

This piece is amazing. You did a great job with adding details and small clues here and there. The thing is, I don't really think this works as a poem. This is mostly because the way you cut the lines to resemble a poem. I suggest removing all the cuts and just write it in paragraph form. I think by just doing that, it would make the piece a lot better than it already is. The cuts in this piece hurt the flow of it rather than make the flow better. Actually, this piece could still be a poem. By removing the cuts, you create a vignette which is sort of a type of poetry! You can find out all about vignettes here >> https://literaryterms.net/vignette/ << Anyway, keep on writing! I really like this piece, and I would love to see you continue editing it. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to leave a comment :) -Karen

5 months

Future Op-Eds

PROMPT: Genre Bender

I love how you also added good aspects apart from just sad or questionable headlines! I realized a lot of pieces under this prompt consist of mostly bad things happening. There's nothing wrong with that at all, but it's amazing to see good things in the future as well. Keep on writing! All of your paragraphs had such a good voice to it. Your voice sets an amazing mood to go along the paragraph as well! This is such a marvelous piece! - Karen

5 months

A and Z (Revised)

PROMPT: Unlikely Friends

I'm so happy you took my advice and continued editing this piece. I think this piece is so much better even though the last version was amazing as well! There's so much more of a flow, and barely any grammar mistakes! I love this piece a lot, and how it ends in a way that it isn't really the end. If you get what I mean haha :) I'm also really sorry it took me a while to review this piece again! Anyway, as always, keep on writing! Karen

5 months

The Savior

PROMPT: Lunar Phrases

I really love these metaphors! I think you have such interesting ideas! I wish I had as amazing ideas! Keep on writing! If you have any questions about this piece you need answered, I'm right here! :) - Karen

5 months

The Curse of the Mountain

FREE WRITING

This piece has a sad, yet amazing premise. I'm so happy you decided to write a piece like this. I was expecting it to have a happy ending, but it didn't. Some pieces just don't, and that's absolutely fine. Your descriptions were also quite good, I could imagine the place in my head. The thing is, sometimes, you added a little too much information. This made your piece seem quite verbose, as if you were trying to reach a specific word count. I really suggest going through this piece again and picking out the words and phrases that aren't particularly needed. I believe by doing that you might tackle another inconvenience in this piece. I realized you were quite repetitive, and your sentences were super long. Long sentences are very hard to format because they're on the edge of becoming a run-on sentence. In your case, majority of your long sentences did enter the run-on sentence section. That's absolutely fine, it's an easy fix :) Still on the grammar path, I did realize that you also had a lot of incorrect tense shifts. I tried to point some out, but I wasn't sure what tense you were going for. That's why I suggest you going through it again with a particular tense in mind :) Apart from the grammar errors, this piece was actually really good! Perhaps check out this video ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sb93BD4spE&list=PLsD3lyYcZgMhfur-opdn9Shyq3ZB_KQgr&index=2&t=116s ) to make your piece even better :) One last thing, I highly suggest is making a little time-line for this story. While reading this, I did feel as if you jumped from points in a choppy manner. You didn't really have the "glue" between topics. If you have any questions about this, please leave a comment. I would love to help! :) Keep on writing! I hope you continue editing this piece! You have such amazing ideas! -Karen

5 months

The Lost and Found

PROMPT: Sijo

I think this a very good piece of writing. I would love to see you write a short-story inspired by this poem. I feel like this poem could be so much more! I really enjoy the message of this poem, and the feeling that lingers in me after reading it. Keep on Writing! - Karen

6 months

A and Z (Revised)

PROMPT: Unlikely Friends

I think this is a very good first draft! Your characters are strong, and I had no problem understanding what was happening in the story. Most times in such a short story, the characters aren't developed enough to bring about emotion in the readers. However, the length of your story didn't stop you from still developing the characters friendship amazingly. I would love to see some backstory to their relationship. Did they become friends from the project they worked on? Or were they friends before that? One thing I do think you need to work on is the ending. I think the ending was amazing, and I liked how you ended it. However, I feel as if there's something missing before the ending. I suggest building up to the ending in a more specific way. The last thing I would suggest is re-reading this piece carefully. I noticed some basic grammar mistakes and tense shifts. I think those could be easily fixed by re-reading it carefully :) Anyway, keep on writing! I would love to see you continue editing this piece! - Karen

6 months

Telescopic Ivory

PROMPT: Lunar Phrases

I honestly love this metaphor! It made me think about the moon in a different way. To me, the moon is just the moon and nothing else. But, in this piece, you brought up stuff that made me think more about the moon. i'm absolutely awestruck with how good all of your metaphors are! Anyway, keep on writing! I see a lot of good metaphors waiting for you to make them haha :) - Karen

6 months

Cuts Like A Knife

FREE WRITING

As I've said earlier, this poem required a lot of hard work. I even realized that you had a particular syllable count as well. I could never do this! I'm so impressed. You don't even know how impressed I am! This poem is awesome. However, there were some lines that didn't quite make sense. I highlighted some of them that don't make grammatical sense, but there are also more that make grammatical sense but don't make sense. If you get what I mean. Overall, this poem is really good. I'm glad I got to read this poem. I hope you keep on editing this piece to make it the best it can be! Keep on Writing! Karen

6 months

Let Sun In

PROMPT: Sijo

This poem is a great first draft! But, I feel as if something is missing from the poem. I wish I could tell you what it is, but I can't place my finger on it. Another thing is that your ending seems quite rushed. I know it's very hard to write a poem in just three lines, and thats why I suggest try changing this into a different form of poem. You could still stick with sijo if you wanted. However, if you choose to stick with a sijo, I highly suggest changing the ending line. Apart from that, I did enjoy the message of this poem. I don't regret reading this poem at all. It has such an interesting premise. Most times, I think people are always excited for Summer to come and couldn't care less about Winter. However, your poem portrayed the opposite. I'm amazed! Keep on Writing! I would love to review your next version if you do decide to keep on editing this piece! - Karen

6 months

A Changed World

PROMPT: Though changed...

Overall, this piece is amazing. Why didn't I come up with this first!? This is a 10/10 in my book. The only thing that I would suggest is capitalizing your 'I-s' and beginning of sentences. Keep on Writing - Karen

6 months

soft bellows of the wind

PROMPT: Without Sight

Great Job! I'm amazed at how good this is. I don't even know what to say. This piece is pure perfection. How!? The only thing I would suggest is capitalizing. I've stumbled across quite a few pieces on this site that don't capitalize the beginning of their sentences and proper nouns. Has that become a style of some sorts? Call me old fashioned, but I think capitalizing is very important. I believe it makes a piece seem more pristine and polished. Anyway! Keep on writing! - Karen

6 months

thoughts about my future that don't require a career counsellor

PROMPT: Dream Big

I actually really admire this piece. You wrote about being kind in such a poetic way. I never expected this piece to be something about being kind while reading it. I actually thought this was you talking about your career path despite the title. Talking about the title, I'm a sucker for short and sweet titles. This is completely a suggestion, and I'm sure people wouldn't mind the title, but I suggest shortening the title. Another thing I noticed about this piece was that nothing was capitalized. I think you did this on purpose, but I recommend capitalizing the beginning of sentences and "I." Capitalizing might not seem like a big deal, but capitalizing actually is. Capitalizing makes a piece seem more professional and makes readers take the piece more seriously. Especially with your strong message hidden in this piece, I really suggest capitalizing your words. I hope you continue editing this piece, and update me when, or if, you do! Keep on Writing! This piece is marvelous! -Karen

6 months

Broken Porcelain

FREE WRITING

I actually really liked the message of this poem and how you used the connotations to convey the message to your reader. Like I said, that really elevated this piece. I would hope to see you continue editing this piece. It would be amazing to see how far you can really take this piece! Anyway, keep on writing! -Karen

6 months

When I Leave

PROMPT: "A Map of Lost Things"

I love this reflective essay! You wrote this essay in such a rhythmic way that I wasn't even sure this was actually reflective essay. And, I'm still not sure. To me, this seems more like a reflective prose! Your punctuation, grammar, and flow are amazing! Talking about flow, there is one thing that I didn't like. In the first two paragraphs, the flow was great. I love how you jumped from two different situations with flawless seams. However, in the last paragraph you didn't. To be blunt, the last paragraph was quite choppy. The different situations didn't connect to each other other. It was as if you talked about one thing but didn't completely finish that topic. For example, you wrote, "I bow slightly to show respect when I walk past an adult. I wait in line for twenty minutes for a Krispy Kreme donut that costs half my allowance, then take a picture and brag about it on Instagram." In that example, the two situations really didn't connect to each other. While I was reading that, I thought I had skipped over a part, so I went back. However, I realized I hadn't. Maybe, you should try to write something along the lines of, "As I head to Krispy Kreme, I bow to adults to show respect. Getting a Krispy Kreme donut might not be the smartest choice to make since it costs half my allowance. But, bragging about it on Instagram is certainly worth my allowance." Overall, this piece was amazing. It would be great to see you re-write the last paragraph, so this piece could be even better :) Keep on Writing! -Karen

6 months

Alien

PROMPT: Returning

I don't have any comments except to keep on editing this piece. I want to see this piece reach its highest potential! Keep Writing! -Karen

6 months

ATTRACTED TO THE DARKNESS

FREE WRITING

I don't have a lot to say here, but I just want to encourage you to keep on writing. I really enjoyed reading this piece like I've said thousand of times in the review, and It would be sad if you just stopped writing. I also hope to see you continue writing this poem and make it the best it can be. I can't wait to read the new version! :) Keep on Writing - Karen

6 months

For the first time.......

FREE WRITING

To be honest, I don't like the title of this poem which isn't a big deal at all. However, I do hope you change it to something that goes more with the story. I do get how the title could go with the story, but, to me, it doesn't really match. I think you are doing a great job in your writing! I hope to see you continue expanding this story and help the piece become the best it can be. Keep on Writing! -Karen

6 months

The Button

FREE WRITING

One thing I realized while reading this story is that the story seemed like a step-by-step narration or a list of stuff you did. When writing narratives, the different moments should kind of connect to each other. So, maybe, instead of writing, "I pull at the bottom of my skirt. The loud music pounding in my head. The air is thick with hairspray and cheap deodorant. My headache’s getting worse by the second, I turn on my phone, checking the time for the twentieth time in five minutes. The disco ends in two hours, but Dad’s picking me up in twenty minutes. " You could write something like, "I pull at the bottom of my skirt. But, I can't even do that right with the loud music pounding in my head, and the air thick with the stench of hairspray and cheap deodorant. Those two factors hand-in-hand, and you know it's a horrible headache growing with each passing second. Despite that, I still check my phone for the twentieth time in five minutes. Even though the disco ends in two hours, my dad is picking me up in about twenty minutes." In the example I gave, you can tell that each thing that happens connects in a way. I hope you use that example and apply it to the rest of your story :) This is more of a plot suggestion. So, while reading this piece, I sensed a 'Not-so-popular girl meets cute-popular guy' type of plot cliche. Even if you do use that as a plot, I hope you diverge even just a little from it, so your story isn't like all the other girl meet guy cliches. Overall, I did enjoy this story, and I hope you continue writing it! Good job and keep on writing! - Karen

6 months

The Door To Uncharted Times Prologue (or book 0)

FREE WRITING

If I'm being completely honest, based on this prologue, I wouldn't read this book. Now, don't get me wrong. The idea of this is extraordinary, and I think I would read a book with this type of scenario. However, the way you carried out is the reason I wouldn't read it. Throughout the book your wording was awkward and the storyline jumped from places to places. What I mean by this is I think you should change the positioning of your paragraphs for a smoother story. Apart from all that, I do like this piece, and I hope you continue editing this piece because I would love to see the full potential of this story. Keep on Writing! Karen

6 months

Loving Arms Refuse to Hold Me

FREE WRITING

Indenting is key, if you ask me. I believe adding indents can make a piece (apart from poems) seem more clean and flow-y. So, I highly recommend adding some indents at the beginning of each of your paragraphs and each time you click the enter button. I realized you added sentences' that were made up of 4 words with periods after each of them at the end of each section/paragraph of the writing. I think "sentences" like this don't really fit this type of writing. I'm not saying that I don't like the lines, but I think they interrupt the flow of this piece. I suggest removing these lines all together. Or, you could try changing these lines to indented dialogue. For example, instead of saying "Safety. Welcome. Strength. Loved." You could change this line to some dialogue with no distinguishable speaker. An example of this could be, "In his/her arms I felt strong, safe, welcomed, and most of all love." I think if you choose to change it into dialogue, you should put the dialogue on a line by itself and in italics. Overall, I liked the theme of this piece and the 'mysterious' feel of it. I hope you take my advice and keep on editing this piece. I see so much potential and can't wait to read the next version of it! Keep on Writing! - Karen

7 months

Micro Memoir

PROMPT: Micro Memoir

Overall, I like this piece. But, to me, the ending seems quite rushed. Therefore, it makes it hard to understand what is really happening. Apart from that, like I said, this piece is good, and I can't wait to read the next version! Keep on Writing! -Karen

7 months

window

PROMPT: Doorways

In this piece, your tone comes out as calm, collected, confided, and unafraid. Which, I think is amazing! The fact that you can approach situations that seem like the world is swallowing you whole in a calm manner is absolutely fabulous. I wish I could do the same! :) This is just a preference, but I think it would be better to capitalize your beginning of sentences and "I's." By the way, the repetition of "When the world begins to swallow me whole..." is amazing too! Keep on Writing! - Karen

7 months

Pages

FREE WRITING

I noticed throughout the story you mainly stuck with complex sentences jump-packed with information. I'll admit, sentences like that are necessary at times. But, you added so many that it corrupts the flow of the story and makes it harder for the readers to read. Long, complex sentences are beautiful, but there's are a beauty in simple sentences as well. I believe simple sentences are easier to read and helps the reader better understand the main point of the story as a whole instead of having to try and figure out what each individual sentence means. Overall, this story has a great meaning and tone. However, I do believe there are some things you could tweak. Even if you don't tweak them, this story is still an amazing one to read! I can't wait to read your next version! - Karen

7 months

Flow

FREE WRITING

I would suggest changing your 'spacing.' This basically means changing the place where you end your lines. So, instead of writing "Let your words" and "flow" on two separate lines, you could incorporate both of them into one line. Apart from that example, I think there are multiple places in this piece where you could add two lines together or split one line at a different spot. This is all just my opinion, and I know not everyone would mind this. Keep on writing. I would love to see your new version of this poem! - Karen

7 months

Not a writer

FREE WRITING

I just want to let you know poems don't have to follow a certain structure. That's why there is something called 'free-verse' poems. I used to think that poems have to have a structure as well, but they don't. I personally think free-verse poems are amazing! I also hope that you start to believe in your writing. Almost every writer has a point in their writing journey where they think their writing isn't good enough. However, every single person's writing is beautiful in their own special ways. Keep on writing, you are a writer! - Karen

7 months

A Stars' End

PROMPT: In The End

I have the biggest weak-spot for figurative language. In this piece, you absolutely hit that weak-spot of mine. Your metaphors and symbols are to die for. Thank you for them! The only other suggestion I have is to add indents, paragraphs, and spaces between the paragraphs. I think this would make the piece more 'neat' and organized. It might also add a more 'dramatic' effect to this piece which I think would go really well with the piece. Keep on Writing! I can't wait to read the next version and see you expand the story line. -Karen

7 months

One More Chance

FREE WRITING

You deserve a standing ovation. Not just for writing a brilliant piece that captures the true form of extended similes/metaphors, but for actually being able to use writing as a therapy :) Also, I love how this piece promotes self-love and how you should always give yourself another chance instead of just giving up. I love this piece, and I hope you decide to keep on writing this piece and add more detail to it! - Karen

7 months

Summer

PROMPT: Seasonal Similes

I love this style of poetry. Anytime I see poetry in this type of style, I automatically love it. This poems brings up feelings and memories that I forgot I had. It's absolutely amazing. However, one thing I would like to say is I think your piece would be better than it already is if you added more repetition to your piece. I don't know exactly why, but your piece seems like one of those poems that repetition would fit so well. Plus, I think you should be just a little less vague and add more details and use less similes. I think this would really help bring out the true colors of this piece. I can't wait to read your revision of this piece! - Karen

7 months

Pickpocket

FREE WRITING

When I first saw this piece, I thought it was amazing, and an author like you surely knew that! You're voice, the tone, the word choice, the slight repetition and rhyming were absolutely jaw-dropping. But then, I saw that you were asking for a lot of feedback, and I didn't want to not conform to that request. So, here I am, writing a review for a poem that is already perfect. - Karen

7 months

Home

PROMPT: In The End

Keep on writing. I think you are a really good "sad, realistic fiction" writer. One tip I have for you is to work on your flow a little bit more, and, as I said previously, try adding figurative language and imagery (: I can't wait to read your next version of this piece! -Karen

7 months

Ignore It All

FREE WRITING

This is a fantastic piece if you ask me. However, there's always room for improvement! If you have any more questions or something would like to ask me specifically about your poem, just comment, and I'll answer you as soon as possible!

7 months

Sturdy

FREE WRITING

The way you moved your piece on using questions is absolutely marvelous. I also love how you ended the poem. The ending seems like a message to people who hate and bring you down. The message seems to be, "If you're saying I am not doing it the right way, then teach me how to do it the right way. I want to be able to do it the right way." Overall, this is one of my favorite poems! Teach me your skills :) - Karen

8 months

Who am I?

PROMPT: Open Prompt

Overall, this read was an extraordinary one. Keep up the good work. If you stopped writing, the world would have lost a great motivational writer like you! - Karen

8 months

Lonely

PROMPT: Open Prompt

I don't know exactly who "she" is, but that's what makes this amazing. You leave it up to the readers to decide. No doubt, this is an excellent poem. The metaphors and similes create an intricate "person" and express that "person's" emotion. Again, this is an amazing piece of writing!

8 months

gold star

PROMPT: Open Prompt

Another thing I absolutely adored about this piece was the similies and metaphors thrown out all over the piece. It was amazing! I am on a lack of words to describe it! All you need to know is to keep it up with that, and your metaphors are amazing! If you become an author, remember me. Your number one fan, cheering you on! Also, if you have time. Would you review one of my pieces!

8 months

Perfect

PROMPT: Unplugged: Op-Ed Competition

As I said before, this was a really good op-ed. However, I think writing op-eds isn't "for you." I feel like you should venture into writing more fictional stories that are based off of real world problems. In that section of writing, I see you becoming a star. Additionally, I believe you should review some of the grammar basics. Even though, you are a great writer you make quite a lot grammar mistakes, small and big. Grammar mistakes can really hinder the quality of a piece of writing. No one wants that! Lastly, about this piece, remember to sight your sources! :)

8 months

Save the Humpback Whales!

PROMPT: Earth Day Writing Competition 2019

This essay is really good. No doubt. However, I feel like you should expand the topics more. For example, you were talking about how pollution effects whales, but then you suddenly stopped. Your ideas are amazing, but you should totally expand more on them. Also, you should try organizing the essay better. It was kind of hard to follow along sometimes with jumping from ideas to ideas in a sort of choppy way. Finally, you sometimes become really descriptive on one subject and then barely describe another subject. Just letting you know! I personally don't find any problem with that, but I know that some people will associate that with being choppy. Keep on writing!

9 months

Forever asking why.

PROMPT: Five Beginnings

I love the short story. Your writing voice is strong enough to teleport me out of my bedroom into the valley of words you created. Just make sure you don't ask too many questions per section of writing.

over 1 year