I've said this a million times throughout this review. You're writing is stunning with almost no flaws. The only thing I want to mention is your paragraph separation. For example, the last sentence of the Introduction Paragraph would fit better...

I think your piece has so much potential to be an amazing story. However, you had so many comma and grammar errors in your story. Grammar errors can distract readers from your actual story. I did point out some of...

This piece oozes effort. I always love to see pieces that people tried their hardest on. Great job! Thank you for writing this amazing piece! :) If you have any questions, leave a comment. I'll get back to it as...