AbiJoy

United States of America

freshhhh
hmu if u like audiodramas

Message from Writer

https://abrieljoy.wordpress.com

Peer Reviews

Too Dark, Too Cold

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2019

I tried to highlight a few words that could be cut that wouldn't change the meaning of the piece to bring down your count, but overall, your writing is pretty concise so it's tricky. If you have to cut more, the first couple paragraphs are really nice exposition and setting but don't have much to do with the characters in the story so you might be able to lose a sentence or two there.

18 days

Winged Victory

FREE WRITING

ILY! Jean-Luc Martinez might not be proud of you but I sure am!

2 months

Chillax

FREE WRITING

What are the other 6 words Klaus can pronounce? Asking for a friend...

8 months

Cheating Caper

PROMPT: Open Prompt

I can't wait to read the rest!

8 months

Raw Heart

PROMPT: Tiny Love Story

I was really debating even mentioning it, but I think the part that says, "her hair is rainfall" should be cut out. It's a good line but I think it's unnecessary, as the motif of storms is used later in a stronger way. Then again, maybe you meant for the two to be equated? Saying that her hair is a burden that she dances through anyway? Really it's not an issue you have to even consider. Awesome work! I love non-romance love stories!

9 months

The Grocery Cart

PROMPT: Three-Minute Fiction

Oof. To answer your first question, Daniel is better because Derek went and snitched on his mom... I have two sets of twin siblings (although all 4 are fraternal) so it's always fun to read these and choose. Secondly, I would never disclose such personal information as ice cream preferences online. ;) I would've told Thomas about the babies (get that child support girl!). I might've written from an eavesdropper's POV. The twist is amaze balls of course.

10 months

The Unchivalrous Knights: Chapter Three

FREE WRITING

It might add symmetry to the chapter if the two people eating dirt in the beginning are now talking about being overly hydrated but all the restrooms are occupied or something like that. This series is the best thing I've seen on WTW in a while. If you are setting up a long term series this feels like a pattern that could go strong for quite a while if you keep adding creative twists like you have been. If you think this review isn't trash I'd do another one anytime bc these chapters are really fun!

11 months

On the Other Side of the Stained Glass (Pt. I)

FREE WRITING

I loved this piece, religious undertones are so fun to write and read. This kinda reminds me of a mix of Hunchback of Notre Dame and Moana. I can't wait for Pt.2!

over 1 year

The Monster in the Mountain Pond

FREE WRITING

This is a deep story, (pun unfortunately intended) and I really like the way you used setting and hive mind. I think the short sentences are awesome too, fear is my aesthetic.

over 1 year

The Feeling Of Faith

PROMPT: Omniscient Lens

I love the adjectives you chose and the moments that you focused on. I don't celebrate Diwali, but your writing gave me a taste of the experience. I felt like I was there and it was beautiful. Sorry I don't have any criticisms to offer you, I really like your poetic and descriptive writing style.

over 1 year

Nightcrawler

FREE WRITING

I like how the story isn't weighed down with too much dialogue, the action is great. I also love the characterization in little details like footsteps.

over 1 year

sophomore boys are strange creatures

PROMPT: Room of Memory

I love how you talk about being a part of something and still alone, it makes the story universal. Also the short sentences and overall pacing gives me life. :)

over 1 year

No Title Yet

FREE WRITING

The only criticisms I have are a few spelling and grammar errors. Thank you for writing this, by the way, I try to find stories on here but mostly it's poetry. You rock!

over 1 year