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shadow+dust

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Reading is my way to escape reality.
Writing is my way of expressing the things I could never say out loud.

Message from Writer

One must always be careful of books, and what is inside of them, for words have the power to change us. -Tessa Gray (Infernal Devices)
It was books that made me feel, that perhaps I wasn't completely alone. -Will Herondal (Infernal Devices)
Fiction is truth, even if it is not fact. If you believe only in facts and forget stories, your brain will live but your heart will die. -Arthur Blackthorn (Dark Artifices)

Published Work

Working Title Chapter #1



    The grand throne room was flooded with light from the large windows set at the back of the room. Tapestries hung from the long walls displaying everything from dragons to fairies, to war pictures. At the heart of the throne room sat a glorious, golden throne. Everything was what you would expect in the castle of a great King and it all looked bright and welcoming. But as soon as one stepped in, one would feel an immediate shiver that has nothing to do with the temperature; the source of this feeling was never located.
                                                                                            ❤

The scowl on his father's face did not help settle Miles’s nerves; he never really did well in these situations. The guards opened the large wooden doors, revealing two hooded figures.
“Your majesty,” announced one of the guards. “These two have requested your council.”
“Very well,” the king replied. The scowl slowly vanishing off his face, replaced with the calculated...

A beginning

The grand throne room was flooded with light from the large windows set at the back of the room. Tapestries hung from the long walls displaying everything from dragons to fairies, to war pictures. At the heart of the throne room sat a glorious, golden throne. Everything was what you would expect in the castle of a great King and it all looked bright and welcoming. But as soon as one stepped in, one would feel an immediate shiver that has nothing to do with the temperature; the source of this feeling was never located.

In progress (re upload)

The scowl on his father's face did not help settle Miles’s nerves. It was the first time he was allowed to sit next to his father while the court was in session.
The guards opened the large wooden doors, revealing two hooded figures.
“Your majesty,” announced one of the guards. “These two have requested your council.”
“Very well,” the king replied. The scowl slowly vanishing off his face with obvious difficulty.
“Your majesty,” said the first figure in a voice that was obviously masculine. The second hooded figure knelt in a sweeping curtsy. “We have come to seek your guidance. For our people have-”
“I can not think of a reason why you have kept your faces hidden unless you have something to hide. In which case I will not speak with you.” King Owen announced, his voice echoing throughout the large room, cutting off the speaker.
In almost perfect unison, both figures reached up and pulled down their hoods,...

In progress (re upload)

The guards opened the large wooden doors, reviling two hooded figures.
“Your majesty,” announced one of the guards. “These two have requested your council.”
“Very well,” the king replied. The scowl slowly vanishing off his face with obvious difficulty.
“Your majesty,” said the first figure in a voice that was obviously masculine. The second hooded figure knelt in a sweeping curtsy. “We have come to seek your guidance. For our people have-”
“I can not think of a reason why you have kept your faces hidden unless you have something to hide. In which case I will not speak with you.” King Owen announced, his voice echoing throughout the large room, cutting off the speaker.
In almost perfect unison, both figures reached up and pulled down their hoods, revealing two of the most enchanting faces Miles had ever seen. Both of them had pale skin, set off by their flowing black hair. But while the man’s eyes were emerald green,...

Crybaby

The wind howled as it passed through the small gap between the glass doors, bringing more dust onto the marble floor of Nadia’s house's lobby. Outside the day was hot, although the sky was covered in a thin blanket of gray clouds. I leaned back into the old couch, that now served as part of our fort. Nadia, my 10 year old neighbor, sat next to me. She is three years older than me. But she was one of the only older kids I knew that hadn't, yet, made fun of me for being younger. I looked up to her, and I wanted to be just like her.
I thought of the early winter mornings, where we would play outside for hours. Or the hot summer days where we would spend days making the perfect fort in my room.
“You know sometimes I agree with Owen,” Nadia remarked, pulling me out of my day dream, and back to earth. “You...

I fell in love

I fell in love with your raven hair and midnight blue eyes. 
I fell in love with your sarcastic smile and the pain you hide.
I fell in love with your words and the sad confidence in your stride.
I fell in love with your heart and how you hold everyone else above.
I fell in love with your unconditional love.
I fell in love with you and you became a part of me.

You were perfect in almost every possible way.
Why can't you be real?
Why do you have to be fictional?

Alone

You closed your eyes,
In a final goodbye,
And I am left all alone.

I see them take you away,
draped in cloth,
And you leave me all alone.

You held my hand,
you save my life,
Why couldn't I do the same for you?

Tears stream down my face,
you are not there to wipe them away,
I am complety alone.

Lost

This is her city,
She knows; 
Every street name,
Every dark alleyway,

She knows;
The dangerous parts,
the places to stay away,

She knows;
The quiet park bench,
to sit alone and fade away,

Yes,
This is her city,
She knows; 
Every street name,
And dark alleyway,

But when you see,
the look of longing,
cross her eyes,
every time someone passes by,

When you see,
her pass the same spot,
every day,
always alone,

It's not hard to tell;
She is lost.

This is her city,
But she is lost,
lost in the busy world of ours,
lost in her never-changing routine,
lost in her thoughts,

She is lost,
She is alone.

Are you?

Are you the little bird,
sitting in the treetops,
singing the sweet songs of love?

Are you the sunrise,
a constant blessing in disguise
bringing hope to the world?

Are you the gentle melody of the breeze
or 
the dangerous beauty of a lightning storm?

Are you the smell of rain
or 
the warmth that spring brings?

Aren't allowed to be

I smile because I have to,
I laugh because it's expected,
I hide the pain because I have no other choice,
Humans aren't meant to be perfect,
and yet we aren't allowed to be broken

I am shattered pieces held together by glue,
My heart, coved in scares, words inflicted,
I seem to have lost my voice,
My head is in conflict,
My words go unspoken

No one seems to have a clue,
of the pain reflected,
of the power of their own voice,
No one tries to neglect,
and yet we are all still broken

I smile because I have to,
I laugh because it's expected,
I hide the pain because I have no other choice,
Humans aren't meant to be perfect,
and yet we aren't allowed to be broken 

Falling

Maybe I fell 
because no one 
was ever there 
to catch me...

Maybe I keep falling
because no one
ever stopped to help
me back up...

Maybe I will fly
because no one
ever noticed
I was broken...



 

Cold

Our world is broken 
The people are lost 
With hearts all frozen 
Emotions like frost 

They sell their souls   
for gold 
losing sight in their goals 
Why is everything so cold? 

In finding a place to belong 
We lose are spark 
No one else finds it wrong? 
We don't leave a mark

Silence

As the silence settled around the room, the voices came. As always, they came gradually at first, but soon it got to loud to hear her own thoughts. She was choking on the quiet and drowning in the noise; the whispers of fear, desire, abandoned hope, and forgotten dreams, screamed louder than a battle horn. By looking around the room she could tell that no one else heard the cries of the forgotten. And no one heard her silent screams for help

Memories

Sometimes I lose sight of all that I have today. Sometimes the memories are so strong that I lose all feeling of now. Sometimes I slip into the past and can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It does not matter if the memories are good or bad, it doesn't help to think of what has happened at all. Because when I do, I fall deep into the past. Sometimes I am afraid that I may never come back.

Scars

Most scars aren't even visible,
They aren't cuts or bruises, 
Not scrapes across our skin,
The most painful scars are the ones no one notices,
The marks engraved into our hearts and souls,
The words of hate,
that change us,
The scars that are completely and uniquely permanent,
The ones that bring new pain every day.

Broken

I don't feel happy,
but I don't really feel sad, 
It's like I missing a part of me,
like I'm not really full

Some days I feel nothing;
others everything at once,
But I smile and carry on,
No one ever sees
that I am hurting

Scars on my arms,
scars on my heart,
I feel nothing,
but everything hurts

In this world,
you're not allowed to be broken

#booksandbeacheswritingcontest

The wind howled as it passed through the small gap between the glass doors, bringing more dust onto the marble floor of Nadia’s house's lobby. Outside the day was hot, although the sky was covered in a thin blanket of gray clouds. I leaned back into the old couch, that now served as part of our fort. Nadia, my 10 year old neighbor, sat next to me. She is three years older than me. But she was one of the only older kids I knew that hadn't, yet, made fun of me for being younger. I looked up to her, and I wanted to be just like her.
I thought of the early winter mornings, where we would play outside for hours. Or the hot summer days where we would spend days making the perfect fort in my room.
“You know sometimes I agree with Owen,” Nadia remarked, pulling me out of my day dream, and back to earth. “You...

A character poem #1

With walls of steal,
and a guarded heart,
No one can know
how much you really feel,

No one knows that your lies
are only a disguise,
You with you smart smirk,
live almost like clockwork,

Tried so hard to keep up the act,
but she can see in to your heart,
it is causing you to crack
Everything is falling apart
 

Why is it?

Why is it that the ones who see good in everyone,
can only see failure in their own eyes?
Why is it that the ones who see beauty in everything,
can't see how pretty their smile is in others eyes?
Why is it that the ones who stand up for the smallest injustices,
can't stand up for themselves?
Why is it that the world is so broken?

Why is it that the ones who deserve the most love,
have given up hope?
Why is it that the ones who work the hardest,
have no luck?
Why is it that the ones who never talk behind someone's back,
have the most whispered about them?
Why is it that people are so lost?

Why is it that...

Why I Write

I write because...

I write because it gives me freedom.
A way to be anyone I want,
to be anywhere I want

I write because it gives me power.
I get to create worlds under my fingertips.
Create characters that people will cry for,
that people will fall in love with.

I write because I never know what to say.
Writing gives me the chance to express
what I would never tell anyone else.

I write because I want to make a difference.
I want to be able to change people with my words,
to get them to see things differently.
To be an escape from reality.
 

Unconventional

Lost

pain
is something
i’ve become accustomed to 

some days
i only see the dark 

captivity
is my everyday life,

i am tied by chains
to my own thoughts.

i am lost,
i am broken,
i am nothing.

Empty

Empty, that feeling of nothing, of not being able to feel. When you go through days, weeks sometimes not being able to think straight. You go through the normal motions of the day. But that's it, just motions. From class to class in a haze. You smile when your supposed to and laugh when it's expected, even though that's what you feel least like doing. You feel so tired because you use all your energy trying to focus on what people are saying.
The worst kind of empty is when you feel so much at one time, but it's all faded. Like you can't really feel happiness yet this one person makes you more happy than you thought you could be. You can't cry yet you can't breath because you have so much wait on your chest. You don't feel lonely yet you feel as if you have no real friends. And you don't you can feel any real pain...

Fears

I looked up from my book to see them all standing around me. A shock of fear ran down my spine. My family, my brothers, my classmates, and my friends all staring down at me. Everyone I have ever looked up to; everyone I have ever loved, glaring at me with pure hate.It was my worse night mare, it was my greatest fear. They where all yelling at me for different things I did. I spent my whole life trying to prevent this moment. I did everything I could to get people to like me. But in the end non of it mattered, they still hate me. I could feel the pressure building behind my eyes, but I new I had to hold back. I could not show my weaknesses, even now. That's when i noticed him standing there. His normally smiling eyes filled with just as much hate as everyone else. "Come on," he sneered. "Did you really think...

Forward Backward

Cold

Our world is broken
The people are lost
With hearts all frozen
Emotions like frost

They sell their souls  
for gold
losing sight in their goals
Why is everything so cold?

In finding a place to belong
We lose are spark
No one else finds it wrong?
We don't leave a mark

The World Anew

High above the world

With my eyes shut tight I could hear the sound of the roaring engine, I could feel the change of air pressure in my ears. I dare not look out the small boxed shaped window next to my seat. 
"Myriah look out your window" my mom whispered in my ear. I shock my head determined not to look at the only home I've ever known whisk under my feet as the plane took me to a foreign country with new people and no friends. But soon my curiosity took over, I just couldn't help it. Slowly I unclenched my eye lids and peered out the window, what I saw next made my stomach clench with something almost like sadness, I couldn't look away. It was late, I didn't realize how much time had passed while we waited in the airport and on the run way, so the sky was already dark. 
Everything looked so small. The cars only blurred lines...

All comes to an end

'The joker can be broken'
A smile only masks pain,
It can't erase it

'The brave can be terrified'
We are not perfect,
An act only lasts so long

'An optimist can lose all hope'
The world is cruel,
You have to be stupid not to see that

'The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets'
Because if no one looks,
A smile can hide so much

and...

'A hero can fall'
Evan the king doesn't rule forever,
Everyone has to fall at some point

Write what you know

People always say to write what you know, so I do. Of cores, I exaggerate a little, but the base of my writing always comes from things I know or feel. So when my friends say my writing is depressing, I think to my self, maybe if you would stop ignoring me, I would not feel lonely. If you stopped forgetting me, maybe writing about abandonment wouldn't be so easy. Maybe if you would look at me, listen and talk to me, or just remembered I'm here, my writing would be happier. But until then, I know you just don't care. And I will continue writing what I know. 

Memories

Sometimes I lose sight of all that I have right now. Sometimes the memories are so strong that I lose all feeling of today. Sometimes I slip into the past and can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It does not matter if the memories are good or bad, it doesn't help to think of what has happened at all. Because when I do, I fall deep into the past. Sometimes I am afraid that I may never come back.

No Pause for Breath

Scars

Most scars aren't even visible,
They aren't cuts or bruises, 
Not scrapes across our skin,
The most painful scars are the ones no one notices,
The marks engraved into our hearts and souls,
The words of hate,
that change us,
The scars that are completely and uniquely permanent,
The ones that bring new pain every day.

No title #2

As the silence settled around the room, the voices came. As always, they came gradually at first, but soon it got to loud to hear her own thoughts. She was choking on the quiet and drowning in the noise; the whispers of fear, desire, abandoned hope, and forgotten dreams, screamed louder than a battle horn. By looking around the room she could tell that no one else heard the cries of the forgotten. And no one heard her silent screams for help.

Monostich

Monostich

1
All was not lost, everything was only changing

2
I am but shattered glass

3
A world without you is like a night sky without stars, all the magic is gone. 

 

Memories

Sometimes I lose sight of all that I have right now. Sometimes the memories are so strong that I lose all feeling of now. Sometimes I slip into the past and can’t seam to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It does not matter if the memories are good or bad, it doesn't help to think of what has happened at all. Because when I do, I fall deep into the past. Sometimes I am afraid that I may never come back.

Nothing

I sit right here, why don't you see me? 
I laugh right next to you, why can’t you hear me? 
I say I’m fine, why can’t you see the pain in my eyes? 
I try so hard to be heard, so hard to be seen, why am I not good enough? 
Will my life ever hold significant?
Would you even care if I was gone?

Walls

Sometimes the memories will just flow, and I can’t keep holding up the walls to keep them inside. Sometimes walls crack. Sometimes they break. And just sometimes, I just can’t help but let one or two memories, good or bad, leak out of my walls and down my cheeks. People can’t stay strong forever.  

It's Over

I laugh with them and cry with them,
I've grown up with them; they have made me who I am, 
When life is too much, my friends will always be there,
I've been with them through success and defeat,
through happy and sad,
I couldn't image a life without them.

But then I turn the page,
I see the end, 
There is no stopping,
The last page,
The last sentence,
The last word...

And they are gone,
It's over,
The people I have known since I was a child,
The people who are the very center of who I am,
My best friends,

Gone

Words

Words keep playing in my head, 
a song I can't get out,
The words of my life,
The song of my soul,
I can't stop hearing them, 
I can't get it to stop,
I drown in the noise,
I choke on the silents,
Stupid,
I try so hard,
I can't be perfect,
Ugly,
My face,
My hands,
My eyes,
My heart,
Useless,
I try to help,
No one want's me,
Invisible,
All I want is to be heard,
All I want is to be seen,
Not good enough,
Never can do whats right,
Never what they want me to be,
Never good enough...
Just look,
Is it so hard to see that I am not fine,
That words are more permanent than scars,
Just listen...
Mabey then you can hear my cries for help

No Pause for Breath

Scars

Most scars are even visible,
They aren't cuts or bruises, 
Not scrapes across our skin,
The most painful scars are the ones no one notices,
The marks engraved into our hearts and souls,
The words of hate,
that change us,
The scars that are completely and uniquely permanent,
The ones that bring new pain every day.

All comes to an end

'The joker can be broken'
A smile only maskes pain,
It can't erase it

'The brave can be terrified'
We are not perfect,
An act only lasts so long

'An optimist can lose all hope'
The world is cruel,
You have to be stupid not to see that

and...

'A hero can fall'
Evan the king doesn't rule forever,
Everyone has to fall at some point

25 Words

Without...

That was the second she shattered, the moment she realized she would never be whole again. Not without him, not without his smile.

Words

Words keep playing in my head, 
a song I can't get out,
The words of my life,
The song of my soul,
I can't stop hearing them, 
I can't get it to stop,
I drown in the noise,
I choke on the silents,
Stupid,
I try so hard,
I can't be perfect,
Ugly,
My face,
My hands,
My eyes,
My heart,
Useless,
I try to help,
No one want's me,
Invisible,
All I want is to be heard,
All I want is to be seen,
Not good enough,
Never can do whats right,
Never what they want me to be,
Never good enough...
Just look,
Is it so hard to see that I am not fine,
That words are more permanent than scares,
Just listen...
Mabey then you can hear my cries for help

Walking

The Act of Walking

With the tilt of her head and that proud smile, you knew she was held with confidence. She had beauty, and she knew it. She walked with bold determination, anyone could see that.
But if you really paid attention, you could see the small things, the fear in her face, the scars on her arms, and the pain in her eyes. If you really looked you could see it was all an act, a show she puts on because she is terrified to lose the ones she loves, terrified that if she is not good enough she will lose everything. She's been hurt, she's broken, and she is so scared to go through the pain again.
She walks with spirit, smiles with pride. But the little things give everything away. If only someone would really listen, if only someone cared, they could easily see not everything is fine.