Dec6f3c2 089b 415c a3f1 7b38017ffa69

FayS

Ireland

Published Work

midnight thoughts

there’s so many things i could be
i’m overwhelmed with possibility 
i have a commitment problem
every time i try to stick to one thing
another thing just seems more fun
in the end all that will cause is
mediocrity in all sorts of things
the things that gave an exciting new fizz
will seem boring 
i don’t have the patience 
to watch what i’ve planted grow
there’s new seeds to plant 
but if none of them grow
what’s the point of planting them at all
i guess i figured there was one calling for me
but maybe my calling is
whatever i stick around for 
whatever i am excited to watch grow
maybe i can be a master of anything 
if i have the motivation 
if i have the patience 
to see it through 
follow what you feel excited to see grow 
and you’ll be happier than following a talent 
that people told you was better than your passion  ...

Blueberry

The blueberry sits,
She’s happy with her life
She’s
Blue
Like her brothers and sisters were
Though she feels rather small
Compared to the plums
Though she feels rather round
Compared to the grapes
She knows she’s the sweetest fruit
She is
Blue
As the night sky
Painted by a child
She is
Blue
Like the sharp music of the harmonica 
She is
Blue
Like the tie 
The child hates to wear
She is
Blue
She is happy being blue
And one day she is plucked
From where she rested so long
She has prepared for this day
Since before she was born
Half of her is gone
She looks at herself
She is a muted green
Green
Like the sea the child
Loves to go and see
She is green like
A curved, juicy pear
She is green
She was always green
She was happy being blue
But finally
She can show her true colours

i miss you

We were the best of friends
Maybe even more
We told ourselves it was practice
For our boyfriends to come
Now I’ve told you
That I like both
And you seem to avoid me
I’ve come to see that those feelings
Were more than what we told each other
You haven’t come to terms with it
Yet
Now I’ve lost a friend
My best friend
For so many years
We still say we’re friends
But we never talk
You avoid me
I’m a reminder of feelings
You weren’t prepared to have
To nights
That you’d rather forget
But I miss you
I miss how close we were
I miss my friend
I miss talking to you
I miss your family
I miss your familiarity
I miss you
And I wish it wasn’t like this

why

I am confused
I felt so in love
I could have written ballads about you
I did write ballads about you
Was it superficial?
Had you been ugly 
Would I have seen you the same way?
Why do I love you?
How did I get so attached?
Why?
I knew a lot about you
But it was all surface level
How can you love someone 
Who you don't truly know
You were perfect in my mind
I don't know why
Now you are leaving
I feel like my life will lose meaning
Because I revolve around the person I love
Instead of revolving around myself
It's like I need someone to pursue
It's a game 
But I get too attached
I don't know how I feel
Maybe this was a calling
To stop focusing on people
That won't make me happy
And start focusing 
On me 
Because the only person
That I'll have to live with forever 
Is me 
I...

i don't understand you


I don't understand you
We talked until the sun started to rise
We swapped our biggest secrets 
We told each other who we loved
We typed until our fingers were numb
And our eyes were heavy and sore
We did this countless times
You said I knew you
You said I was different
If I'm different
Why can we only talk over text
If I'm different
Why haven't we talked in weeks
If I'm different
Why do you sit with those who you said you hated 
Over me 
Am I just
Somewhere to vent your feelings
A pet to feed with empty compliments 
You say nobody wants you
You say you're alone
Then who am I to you
You talk about your friends
As if they were your enemies
You blame everything but yourself
When something isn't right
Have you ever thought
That you aren't destined to be lonely
You just set yourself up to fail
If I'm worth so much...

everything

I want to be everything
A poet
A novelist
An artist
A scientist
A lover
A dancer
An activist
An athlete

I can’t be everything
I can’t even be one thing
Because I like to test the water
But not put my foot in too deep
But without going deep
I can never swim
I can never stay in one place
Because I need to be perfect at something
Right from the start
But that is impossible
Good things take time
But with time comes the feeling of time wasted

Fake

Do you ever feel fake
You tried so hard to fit in
That you always feel off
Like everyone knows one person
But if you peeled off that skin
There would be someone new under there
Like how a blueberry is known as blue
But inside it’s green
Hidden for so long
That it doesn’t know it’s really a different colour
Or maybe it is you
That the outside world sees
It’s you that’s seeing things
Maybe you are that person
But you wish so hard you weren’t
That you say you feel fake
To make up for the fact
You hate the way you are

Blueberry

The blueberry sits,
She’s happy with her life
She’s
Blue
Like her brothers and sisters were
Though she feels rather small
Compared to the plums
Though she feels rather spherical
Compared to the grapes
She knows she’s the juiciest fruit
She is
Blue
As the night sky
Painted by a child
She is
Blue
Like the eyes
Of a dreamer
She is
Blue
Like the uniform
The offspring hates to wear
She is
Blue
She is happy being blue
And one day she is plucked
From where she rested so long
She has prepared for this day
Since before she was born
Half of her is gone
She looks at herself
She is a muted green
Green
Like the sea the offspring
Loves to go and see
She is green like
Pear drops
She is green
She was always green
She was happy being blue
But inside
She knew she was green

secrets

what if you sent strangers
your biggest fears
your biggest secrets
things you said you would keep forever
they would know so much
but it would give them no power
because
they would have no one to tell
because
secrets only have power
when they are handed to the wrong people

unknown title: a slam poem

we have the privilege of
choosing not to see
when injustice confronts us we
take the chance to flee

we swear that we care
when we hear of the shootings
a few days later
we've forgotten we've to do things

we say 
someone should change it
forgetting we are someone
because in our lives it doesn't fit
after all, we want a fun one

we are unburdened by injustice,
because it doesn't affect us
until one day it does 
and there's no one to save us

i have enough problems as it is
i hear you say
im a mister not a miss
everything will be okay!

in translation 
i'll be fine; i'm straight, male and caucasian
doesn't matter to me if the world isn't changing 

gender pay gap, mutilation
abuse, lack of education
women are still second class citizens
is the world really changing?

laws are being passed
allowing people to be stoned
rather gay people in a casket ...

Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Out of the closet

Exiting the comforting blanket of secrecy;
I opened the door of the closet 
Spilling in;
Warm hearts and open arms, cascading down upon me.
Love brings hate.
Relentless believers shoot darts into my heart
Shaming with their words;
words of God and abnormality 
Hate brings love
Unblinded by the blind, support crashes down on me in waves,
Holding my hand;
Shooting daggers at those who dared to shame
Love brings hate
Though I am guarded in front, 
the words creep ivy-like into the back of my mind and I doubt 
Hate brings love
With every fall there is someone to hold me, 
I’m unsure if even the ground would catch me otherwise;
I find my own, I find them everywhere,
It makes my vision fill with rainbows 
Love conquers hate
Hate rises up,
subsequently hit head-on with a rainbow hammer,
us shamed are not ashamed.

Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Out of the closet

Exiting the comforting blanket of secrecy;
I opened the door of the closet 
Spilling in;
Warm hearts and open arms, cascading down upon me.
Love brings hate.
Relentless believers shoot darts into my heart
Shaming with their words;
words of God and abnormality 
Hate brings love
Unblinded by the blind, support crashes down on me in waves, Holding my hand;
Shooting daggers at those who dared to shame
Love brings hate
Though I am guarded in front, 
the words creep ivy-like into the back of my mind and I doubt 
Hate brings love
With every fall there is someone to hold me, 
I’m unsure if even the ground would catch me otherwise;
I find my own, I find them everywhere,
It makes my vision fill with rainbows 
Love conquers hate
Hate rises up,
subsequently hit head-on with a rainbow hammer,
us shamed are not ashamed.

Open Prompt

Everybody Knows

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died
Everybody talking to their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
And a long-stem rose
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful
Oh, give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
Everybody knows

Novel Writing Competition 2018

Anima Salit

She had obsessed over this for years, pored over all the stories the internet had to offer, she even was planning on studying animasalitology in college. She had fantasized about finding her soulmate since she learned about the ‘golden threads’. When she was younger, she thought it was a lie our parents told us, like the Easter Bunny. It just seemed so magical for a world so ordinary. But she never thought… she never could have imagined that it would ever be more than a fantasy. She could never be so lucky. There are 7.53 billion people in the world. How did she get lucky enough to find one specific person? It couldn’t be right? It had to be a mistake. Also, her soulmate couldn’t be a female. She was straight! Or so she thought. Until now. Because her soulmate was quite clearly a girl. However lucky she might be to have found her, she just, she wished it...

Personal Essay Competition: Making Change

We need LGBT+ education!

I am a 13 year old bisexual teenaager. I recently told two of my friends. I was scared of telling them because at our age, they had probably only seen a distorted version of what bisexuality is on television. We had never really talked about LGBT+ issues - it just wasn't a normal topic of conversation. We assumed that everyone we know is straight and straight only.  Their reactions were expected, one of them, let's call her Bella, freaked out. I told her over text as I knew otherwise I would get scared. She first thought I was joking, that telling her was a dare, because of course. Then she acted like she was completely fine with it, she brushed it off, made it seem unimportant. Eventually, she cracks, like I knew she would, and drowns me in questions, she is shaking, she is in utter shock. The next day, we don't talk about it. I say something about it...

Personal Essay Competition: Making Change

We need LGBT+ education!

I am a 13 year old bisexual teenaager. I recently told two of my friends. I was scared of telling them because at our age, they had probably only seen a distorted version of what bisexuality is on television. We had never really talked about LGBT+ issues - it just wasn't a normal topic of conversation. We assumed that everyone we know is straight and straight only.  Their reactions were expected, one of them, let's call her Bella, freaked out. I told her over text as I knew otherwise I would get scared. She first thought I was joking, that telling her was a dare, because of course. Then she acted like she was completely fine with it, she brushed it off, made it seem unimportant. Eventually, she cracks, like I knew she would, and drowns me in questions, she is shaking, she is in utter shock. The next day, we don't talk about it. I say something about it...

Travel Writing Competition 2018

Dublin

County Dublin is Ireland’s third-smallest county but a third of Ireland’s population lives there, including me. I moved here when I was six years old, but I would call nowhere else home. It is home to so many different people, from different parts of the world, from different cultures and races and backgrounds. More people speak Polish than Irish in Ireland, even though we learn Irish at school. You may see Irish written everywhere, but Irish is like a foreign language to many of us. 

People are so quick to help and be friendly to strangers here that it is really astounding. There was this one hot summer day in Dublin (hottest day in 3 years) when I took the bus and almost passed out because of lack of air and water. This teenager approached me, asked me how I was and kept asking until I was able to give him an answer. Then he gave me his bottle of...

The Unknown

Anything

I do not know anything.
I could be asleep.
I could be dead.
But what is sleeping?
What is death?
I could be anything.
Or nothing at all.
I do not know anything.
 

Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2018

Dead Inside

They know the pilot is dead.
They're the ones dead inside,
They lost the one thing that kept their soul alive,
Now when the plane goes down, they will be dead,
In their heart and in their head,
Without hope you die inside before you're dead. 
 

Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2018

Dead Inside

They know the pilot is dead.
Something inside them must have died,
Nobody cries.
Why would they?
They're the ones dead inside,
They lost the one thing that kept their soul alive,
Now when the plane goes down, they will be dead,
In their heart and in their head,
Without hope you die inside before you're dead. 
 

Monostich

Reflection

We will never see ourselves outside of our reflection.