omicron7889

Hong Kong

Always sleep-deprived
Craving spicy barbecue chips
I like rhymes and pizza
Boomshakalakah

Also I hope you're having a good day :)

Message from Writer

"Success is a fickle mistress, she awaits no man." - my english teacher, who doesn't even know I used his words as a quote but they're just that great so why not. i'll tell him someday.

maybe.

Peer Reviews

By the Dead

FREE WRITING

This is definitely going well on the right track. The originality of the story, the poignant ending that leaves the reader gasping for more and the use of action fits really well into a smaller format. Some minor corrections are needed, but other than that you're doing really well! I hope this was of use to you, feel free to throw any extra questions at me! Have a good day :) - omicron

about 1 year

music's too sad without you

FREE WRITING

I like the way you write your pieces. Unapologetically free-flowing and without restraint when incorporating new sentence phrasings and writing techniques. The only improvement I can come up with is to be aware of the clarity of your message/plot. I can tell you have a lot of elements you want to incorporate, stories within stories you want to tell. But just be careful when intertwining them. Never be afraid to extend a piece if it would help develop your plot. I really love your writing, it's unlike anything I've seen on this website (and I mean that wholeheartedly). So keep writing PLEASE because I need to see more of your stuff. I hope you've been doing okay lately (your footnotes make me want to give you a hug because I know how being deeply sad feels like) and I wish you all the best in everything. Absolutely everything. :)) That's my cue. Zoop, bye!

over 1 year

We Are All Lost

FREE WRITING

I really like your formatting, and I've got a small idea I think you could use. Since you repeat your first stanza at the end as well, what you could do is add another empty line between the first and second stanza and the second-last and last stanza. That way the repetition stands out stronger and it creates a feeling of isolation (wow I said that word a lot in this review) that makes the rest of the content in between those two stanzas stand out.

over 1 year

It Started With A Note

PROMPT: Tiny Love Story

Alright now for some constructive feedback: I'm kind of torn between your second-to-last paragraph. On one hand I understand why you didn't break it up as it helps to give an accelerated pace to the story and it's basically one long sentence, but on the other it can be a little much to take in all at once. I would recommend you try to revisit it and maybe cut it up into several pieces in order to conserve the quicker pace, but at the same time I feel like you would have to really remodel the entire thing in order for you to conserve the same rhythm. So it's up to you. You can totally keep it as it is, because the format still fits the story very well, or you could try and rework it and see how that goes. It's just advice though, you don't have to take it if you think it's unnecessary. :) Apart from that I admit that I liked this one a lot. The way you introduced the situation, the pacing and rhythm of the story along with the plot twist was fabulously intertwined together. Well done :)))

over 1 year

the invisible roach has princess fantasies

FREE WRITING

You know, I'm usually less inclined to read stories with princesses involved in them (though I think that may have something to do with how princesses are shown to always be perfect and gorgeous and falalalala prince charming saves the day) but I actually enjoyed reading this one. You take that typical princess trope and go 'NOPE". Also there's context to her story that makes it realistic and you have made sure to show all the imperfections of your character and still she is accepted. This is the kind of writing that gives hope to the world. :)) (also if some of my comments seem like I'm doing an in-depth essay analysis I'm so sorry I've been caught up in english literature revision so that's my thought process for...everything lol) Have a good rest of day wherever and whenever you read this! --omicron out

over 1 year

The Merits of Alone in Comparison to Not Alone (with a side note on conch shell real estate)

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

This is good. Honestly this is really good. Your tone is genuine and so is your writing. Your story is compelling and relatable, pulling the reader along your journey. So kudos to you, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

almost 2 years

Open up

FREE WRITING

This poem is impactful and endearing, raw and soothing. The rhythm is steady and carries the reader along, the rhymes keep pace and gives it an enthralling tone. You are by all means a talented writer to come up with a piece so meaningful and so very well written. Bravo indeed.

almost 2 years

Progression #MyFormOfWriting

FREE WRITING

Okay first off, I LOVED this. I really really enjoyed your writing and heck if you want to write a sequel or something I'll be your wildest supporter. The idea was original and fits the theme of 'losing oneself' perfectly well. Overall this was a terrific piece with an unexpected end and a good character progression. (Also I ended up inputting the coordinates into google maps (because why not) and ended up somewhere in New York so... yeah that's just some random information for you. Cheerio!) :)

almost 2 years

The Moon

PROMPT: Forward Backward

There is a softness to this poem that makes me think of being wrapped in a blanket. Your descriptions and metaphors are perfect, and you have flawlessly managed to portray our moon as a safe and circling companion to our nights. Though I do have some suggestions (they're the highlighted parts), this is a really great poem. Keep writing! Have a good day :))))

almost 2 years

Sleep Well Tonight

PROMPT: Unconventional

Wow is all I could say after reading this. The mood and changes in tone are very well thought out and placed, and you have fully taken advantage of the lack of punctuation. This style of writing is definitely one you could choose to experiment with more, you've already created a beautiful piece. But bottom line, THIS WAS AMAZING ! (Also I have to say one of the reasons my eyes stuck to your poem was because it seemed to mirror one of my own I published barely a day ago, called 'clock ,--, work' and I found that amusing that's all from me now bye!) :)

about 2 years

Impermanence

PROMPT: Impermanence

Really, really good job here. I enjoyed reading your collection of poems a lot, and congratulate you on this wonderful work! Keep writing! :)

about 2 years

Take the Leap

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

I like how you revealed the information little by little, I was hooked from the very start! The idea of breaking through fear is one that can be very hard to write at times, but the scenario you chose, the tone and the language you used was absolutely perfect. :) Happy writing!

about 2 years

i don’t want to be me anymore

FREE WRITING

This is a poem with a lot of raw power and emotion, which you have shaped into a piece of beauty. I can connect to your poem on some level, though I've had more or less the opposite problem. I wasn't content with who I was inside, but I was fine with outside me. I started by accepting who I was, even if it hurt like hell. But after that I worked on slowly changing who I was and how I viewed myself, trying to become someone better everyday. I don't know if that helps, but either way the advice is out there. Keep writing, be bold, be brave and have a good day! :)

about 2 years

Do You Ever? #novelistofthefuture

FREE WRITING

This really demanded slow reading, because the sheer weight and meaning behind the words was definitely something that needed to sink in. You wrote a piece that makes the reader themselves reflect, and that's something that can be rather hard to do. Not only that, but the fluidity of the language and tone carries the reader along with your words, and it almost feels like a journey that had been taken when I came to the end. I will be thinking about this for the next few hours, that's for sure. This was a breathtaking piece to read, and I congratulate you on creating this gem. That said, have a good day! :P

about 2 years

The Ocean

PROMPT: The World Anew

I loved it. Full stop. The imagery, personification, all of it is really powerful and I felt like I was experiencing the ocean alongside this girl. This piece could not be better. :)

about 2 years

The Path Ahead

FREE WRITING

My advice on how to end a poetic piece would be to first take into consideration what ending would be more adapted to the piece. You can always finish off with a question, but that usually works with poems in which there is a questioning theme consistent throughout the poem. For this one however, I would avoid using words that seem to indicate a longer sentence, such as 'which', 'where' or 'what'. 'And' or 'but' can both be suitable, like how you ended the first and second stanza. At the end it really depends on what the overall mood of the poem is, and what impression you would like the reader to be left with after reading it. Either way it's a really good starting piece, and you have a skill with weaving a story into a few short sentences. Good job! :)

about 2 years

Ingelio

PROMPT: Crash, Holler, Swish

Hmmm... My interpretation would be more something to do with a battlefield, and the emotional and physical storm that happens during the battle. That's just my interpretation and I may be absolutely wrong. Either way, it's a really well written piece and I loved reading it! :))

over 2 years

The beginning of my book - I need opinionsss

FREE WRITING

This is a solid opening you've got right here. My only suggestion would be to keep finding ways to entice the reader, and don't reveal all the character's secrets at once. Apart from that, I really enjoyed reading this! :)

over 2 years

Artificially Flavored

PROMPT: Science Fiction Competition 2018

This is such a fantastic piece with an incredibly original idea. I could definitely see this as a movie or a book trilogy! :)

over 2 years

The Place at the Edge of the Sea

PROMPT: Open Prompt

You are a very talented writer and I congratulate you on this wonderful piece! I do hope you keep writing for I would like to read more short stories like this. Have a good day! :)

over 2 years

Twelfth Day

PROMPT: Science Fiction Competition 2018

This is an amazing piece with such a cool concept, and you could make a book out of this if you did I would buy it in an instant I swear this is magnificent.

over 2 years

3 AM

PROMPT: The Peace of Wild Things

I really liked this one, and I would encourage you to keep writing poems and experiment with different kinds. (Villanelles, haikus, sonnets and whatnot) Overall this was a really well written poem with a graceful flow to it. Well done!

over 2 years

Anxiety

PROMPT: Emotion by Association

I think you could work a bit more on the flow of the poem, consider the idea of separating it into stanzas or working with the syllable count for some lines (line 9 for example seemed a little abrupt, "they didn't exist") Other than that it's perfect, kudos to you. :)

over 2 years