When were you going to tell me you decided to go out of state for college?
I wasn't going to tell you.
You were just not going to tell me? What about our plans for next year? When I would join you and we would get an apartment together?
I figured you would have forgot about me by then.
When are you leaving?
When are you leaving?
Today. My plane leaves at four.
You realize that's in three hours, right?
Yeah. I know.
I can't believe you were just not going to tell me.
I mean after all we've been through?
I said I'm sorry!
Well sorry just isn't going to cut it.
You know now, so drop it.
I just want to know why? After Thomas, after the waterfall?
I'm doing this for you!
What do you mean?
This is for you to move on. You don't need me in your life, I'm just...
It all happened in a flash. The lights went out. One person screamed, and then another, and another. They all ended abruptly. A window shattered into a million pieces. Then one by one the lights came back on. Dead bodies littered the floor. Sirens were going off in the background. There I was, in the middle of it all, blood coating my hands, a blank expression resting on my face.
I was seventeen when it hit like a storm. All my classmates had it. They either only slept, or forgot what sleep even means. Some decided that meals were optional, others decided eating would solve everything. Cleaning anything, their body included, was such a chore no one bothered anymore. They all were zombified. I found myself to be infected too. I jumped into research. I realized it was only depression.
I think I had a dream. I remembered it when I woke up, but maybe I just thought of it when I was half asleep.
Anyways, it was quite a nice dream. I was the main character as you know, and was going on some kind of tours with classmates of mine. Or maybe it wasn’t a tour, I just know we were walking done a hallway. But there was this girl there, one I didn’t know. She wasn’t very talkative, but she stayed with my friend group. Somewhere through the hallway, I leaned against her when saying something. This act visibly upset her, so I set off to apologize. We talk about trauma surrounding our lives and she realized I wasn’t gonna shame her or hurt her. We hugged and finished at the end of the hallway.
This is where it gets fucked though. The girl tries to leave without saying goodbye to me, and I wasn’t going to...
The smile leaves your face as soon as you exit the school. You tell your mom school was good. Could you recall what happened in first period? Or seventh? You just tell your mom nothing eventful happened. The school days all blur together anyway.
You lay in your bed, staring up at your ceiling, music is playing but you couldn't say what was on for the life of you. The yelling gets louder than yesterday's, but it doesn't bother you. It hasn't bothered you for years now.
You stare at the therapist blankly, their words not even entering your brain. This behavior is normal for you, so you don't get why you have to sit there.
An alarm goes off somewhere in the house, waking you up. After it's obvious you won't be falling back asleep, you check your phone. New snapchat notifications, if a person saw them, they'd believe you were popular. You shut your phone off, what was...
I don't notice when Elle stops talking. One moment I was listening to her ramble and watching her eyes sparkle. As I lift my head from Elle's shoulder, she looks at me.
"Ah, your awake!" she smiles, "I forgot you often stay up late, and then I went and woke you up at five this morning."
She had a point, she did get me up early, but she did make me breakfast in return.
Elle checks her phone and glances out the window, "Good. We're almost there."
I also look out the window, trying to figure out where we are. "Right. You still haven't told me where we're heading," I glance back at her.
"No worries, you'll see," Elle pulls on the cord, signaling our stop.
We get off the bus and walk for six blocks. Elle leads me to the left, where I stop in my tracks. In front of us is the entrance to ValleyFair, the largest amusement...
They looked around them. Once this place had been a stunning town with flowers and friendly neighbors round every corner. Now it was fallen apart, the flowers withered and neighbors grew cranky. They wondered when it had all gone wrong, when they thought they had everything. In reality, they never had anything. It wasn't theirs. They were an outsider, who would never fit in. They didn't want to particularly fit in a wasteful town anyways. But they once did. When the flowers were in bloom and the neighbors hosted weekly barbecues.
They turned around, it was time to head home. They take one last glance behind them and sighed. When did it all go wrong? When did my plan fall to pieces, they thought? And with that, they took of into the night. Never to look back and to never appear again.
It is rude to take the last cookie. But, I did it anyway. I was tired and hungry. I stuffed it into my mouth. Mrs. Cago looked at me in disgust.
“What?” I asked, spitting cookie everywhere. Mrs. Cago gave me another dirty look.
“First of all, it is very rude to take the last cookie without offering it.” she said in a business like voice.
“Well, I know that.” I muttered under my breath.
“What did you just say, young man?” Mrs. Cago asked accusingly.
“Nothing. Nothing, I swear.” I said, trying to act innocent.
“If you insist.” she said
“No, no. I really didn’t say anything.” I was struggling. What to say, I thought, what? Com’on, think. Think!
“I was, uh, just admiring your wonderful house.” Not the best, I agree. But it was the only thing I could think of.
“And like I was saying before you rudely interrupted me. It is very rude...
Have you guys ever had this crush on a totally amazing person that’s really really cute but so out of your league so you try to just be friends and it’s not like you really talk except in class but when you do you feel so special and warm and they just melt your heart but you know that you’ll never end up with them unless you try which you don’t think will happen anyway so you don’t try and also they’re already dating someone so like what’s the point but you still really like them even when you try to keep it low-key and sometimes you think you might love them but you’re only a kid so what do you know about love and really like talking to them so you talk to them every chance you get and you end up being friends but sometimes you think they only talk to you because you’re right there and then...
Ugh. I have a crush on you, it's not even that. You're so funny and smart and I love your personality. I wish you were be mine, but you never will be. Therefore I'm going to stop wishing. Because wishing is useless. A waste of time. Time I don't have.
That's the time right now, and I'm still thinking about you.
I may just be a tad bit crazy, but you're always on mind no matter the time. And who needs 11:11's cause I think about you all the time.
I say I'm over you, but the truth is, I'm not. I still love your cute smile and your adorable (if a bit salty) personality. I love that you play sports and I love that you are smart (er than average). I love how you argue and joke around with me. I love how you don't care what you say. I love...
Nobody gets me. No matter what anyone says, it really doesn't affect me. Cause what are you going to say?
That I'm fat? I tell myself that practically everyday. That I'm ugly? Everytime I take a picture, that runs through my mind. That I'm stupid? You can't exactly say that because I'm smarter than you'll ever be.
That I'm bad at running? That I suck at softball and basketball? Don't worry I know that too, and I think about how it would be if I'm any good.
That no one likes me? That's right, no one likes me, but I can make it on my own cause I'm tough. That I was adopted? Don't make me laugh, I wish I was so I wouldn't have to be related to anyone.
You see? Everything that you will say won't hurt me. Because I say them to myself so much, I could have said everyday of my life.
You know, it usually...
It was a beautiful day outside and I was relaxing under the shade of an oak tree.
Everything was fine, until I
remembered what happened last week.
You had confessed your love and I didn't respond very well. But that was a month ago.
You: I love you.
Me: I'm sorry.
I try again. A bad decision, really.
If you don't like me, you can just say that instead of random stuff.
I just don't want you to get hurt.
Then don't hurt me.
We were happy for a short while, or at least I was. But then you broke my heart.
Last week you quit responding to me. Ignored texts, calls, everything. You even ditched our plans and completely avoided me.
And then you called me up. I was so happy, I thought you were coming back to me. I thought wrong.
You told me to quit trying to contact you. That you had somebody else, somebody you truly love....
Date someone who always goes on, even when they don't know quite what they're doing. Date someone who is always open minded and willing to try anything. Date someone who can be 100% serious, but then loses their shit after seeing their favorite fandom. Date someone who can both spend 24 hours studying or doing nothing all day. Date someone who will always be there for you. Date someone like me. Actually, date me.
They think people cut for attention. If they cut for attention, why would they wear long sleeves and hide it? Com'on, tell me why.
I'll tell you why, because they don't cut for attention. They cut to remind themselves they are alive, or because physical pain is easier than mental pain, or because they can't quite kill themselves, but need to do something, or sometimes they cut just because. But they never cut for attention. Never.
Tell me why I wore my sweatshirt 24 hours a day, for 3 days after I cut myself. Tell me why I hide my cuts if I want attention. Because the real answer is I don't. I don't want the attention and I don't want anyone to notice.
I'm afraid to do more cuts. Man, do I want the pain, but what I don't want is the attention I'd receive if anyone noticed. I'm scared that someone is going to see my cuts. But...
I'm all alone
In this big world
No one cares
About me anymore
So that is why
Nice and deep
The blood flow out
I look away
Disgusted with myself
I need to get help
For my problem
I need to stop
And all my loved ones
I may get rejected
Day after day
But I refuse to die
Mentally or physically
I'll stand by myself
Just to prove I can
It's been 3 weeks
Since I've last cut
I now know I'm loved
By friends and family
To stop cutting
But you don't know
How hard it is
I spend every night
Crying my eyes out
But I've kept my promise
And didn't cut
Now I'm 35
And I've got some advice
Whenever you feel hurt
Just don't cut
Because it isn't worth it
I only know
From personal experience
See these scars
On my wrist? ...
A dead body laid in the living room. A little boy sat crying in the corner.
A knife laid on the counter, covered in blood and more fingerprints than you can count. Half of a cow leg sat on the floor.
The front door was open. Footprints led halfway down the dirt walkway, then disappeared. A crow sat still on a fence post.
The neighbor's dog was barking. Shouting could be heard, but no one was in sight. A breeze rustled the trees.
And the sky darkened, it started to pour. The footprints washed away, they disappeared. The little town of Calbuza was no longer there.
Three feet of snow covered the entire town. It was the very first snowstorm, and it all happened in under an hour. It was all Mother Nature's fault too. Her and her stupid emotions.
"Sorry Nature, I just don't think it's working out anymore."
"So that's it? Your breaking up with me?" Mother Nature's voice was calm, on the inside she could feel her heart breaking.
Time shrugged. "Yah, pretty much." And with that, Father Time walked out of the sky and out of Mother Nature's life.
She sat down and shook her head, a disbelieving look on her face. They had dated for well over 50 years with no problems, one would understand her disbelief.
Mather Nature looked up, her deep blue eyes turned to ice. "My heart is cold and so should you."
For the first time in centuries, Mother Nature used her emotions to make the weather happen. She hasn't done that since her father died.
He waited for her. Everyday and every night. He hardly ate or sleep.
He couldn't do anything. It's like he got sucked into a huge black void. All he did was sit there, staring straight ahead into emptiness.
One day he couldn't deal with it anymore. He broke into tears, the first sound he's made for days.
All because he finally realized. She wasn't coming back. She never will again. She's gone. Dead. And it's all his fault.
'Do you you know what is like to be created just for a monster? No you probably don’t, but let me tell you. It’s horrible! I’m suppose to be Frankenstein’s Bride, do you think I want to? Noooo, I don’t. Did anyone ask me what I wanted? No, they didn’t.
But screw them, there’s no way I’m marrying a monster! Wait… I’m a monster, aren’t I? My life it’s over. Everything I knew was a lie. I-I can’t do it. I don’t know…’
I burst into tears, knowing my future was ruined. If only anyone understood what I was going through. But there is, and his name is Frankenstein. At that moment I made up my mind.
'I would marry the monster. Because he knew exactly what I was going through.'
After the “wedding” I told Frankenstein everything. How I felt, that I didn’t want to marry him, didn’t want to be a monster. All he did was hug me. And it...
When you die, that's it. You don't exist anymore. Your stuff isn't yours anymore. The world fades out, everything goes black. And you're gone. Never to do, say, or think anything again. To never be again. Because that's it, you're gone. You're dead.