Screenshot 2016 10 28 at 6.01.55 pm   edited

I Write Occasionally

United States

Okay-ish writer and poet.

Published Work

Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2019

Verschlimmbessern

dipping your toes in
the deep end-
how much love
your heart could
hold

kiss me like you are the moon,
says your mother,
with her ragged pelt
and sharp teeth-

you are her only child
to survive the sunrise-

she bathes you in starlight
and cuts your skin,
weans you on her tears,
so you love her-

and you have never feared
the dark-

drunk on sunshine,
your feet tangled in
the meadows
where you were
born

here the wildflowers
strangle you
in nectar-sticky words
promising a zenith, an adventure

you have forgotten the
famine,
but the buck
you slaughtered in the
deep sylvan wood

carved out the rations
on a dry tongue
and said
child, i have known hunger-

and you split his heart
and broke his spine
and tore his hooves-

so you hunt, unsatisfied,
craving order,
but your breath smells of ash
and you taste only entropy

drinking from the ocean feels
like choking on oil, ...

Eulogy Lullaby

goodnight,
little explorer

sleep well,
in your cradle
of dust
and
dirt

//mission complete

you
are not lost
here

you
are home-

night
does not become
you

//my battery is low and

the
storm
has passed
now

brush off
your
body

//i’ll be looking at the moon

You
are not buried
yet

look up

you
should die
in the
Sun

//but i’ll be seeing you

intrepid adventurer,
how bold
and
fair

look up,
great queen-
your
kingdom
awaits

//it’s getting dark

see
there

on the horizon,
there
arises

the
light

//goodnight, Opportunity.
goodnight,
goodnight,
goodnight

10 Second Essays

Onism

i. gold is the first impossible hue
ii. we are slipping, my love
iii. the trees were here first
iv. i have loved you like the tides love the moon
v. there are 2.7 trillion calculated digits of pi
vi. you left me first

Your World in Three Senses

Habeenkii

if you could touch the night, then surely,
it would be velveted and soft,
draped around bowed shoulders-
drinking midnight from my lips,
hands wrapped around an evergreen spine

it would taste of stale chocolate
and mint leaves-
burns like whiskey in the back
of my aching throat;
there is nothing to swallow my spite
out here in the wilds

see reverent, hold my rapture;
I have not yet loved
the light-
with stars in my hair dripping
to drown quietly in the hollows
of my collar bones

lift me higher, let me look 
at the harsh, beautiful moon; 
the only goddess I see- 
turn my cheek to the dawn

Unconventional

Occhiolism

darling you look
so tired

all your shadows crept
up from underneath

your hollow fingers
divided us by entropy

you quake your bones
into sordid dust

we fall endlessly
your tears

taste of
ash

Improbable Flavor

Smaragdine

Green wraps around the hollows
in your throat,
vines wrapping around your weary lungs
until you choke on the taste of
sour wine and oak leaves

Close your eyes and reach out-
here is the place where
regret on your tongue
is wind through branches

Hold out your hands;
drink from your cupped palms
until you are brimming with 
wildness; savagery on the tips
of your sharp teeth-
smile and you will be as unconquerable as
the roots of the strongest trees

This is your promise-
breathe in as emerald pools
in your aching chest
You will suffocate on the sweetness
of sap and morning dew

Raise your heavy head-
the bruises on your neck will
bloom like a million wildflowers

Whelve

Fly on scarlet midnight
hide your sallow face in
the dauntless sky

Break your promises
upon heavy earth;
you were not made to keep

Remember what they've spoken-
Strangle your sorrows
beneath your broken

But love is not a boon
Lift up your face and take
what the sparrows give you

Craft your bridges
from bones and
superglue

The birds will wait for
the ocean and storm
to consume you 

Twist your hope
into your aching chest;
the higher strings the rope

Fade your monsters
into the collar around
your bruised throat

Gasp your sins
into your hollow fingerbones-
you are alone

And Faith isn't holy ground
oh, it's where the devil's work
can be deeply found

Finifugal

You'll sometimes creep in,
and I'll let you sleep in my bed

When you were home,
you were never here-
I wake up alone,
with you in my sheets

And it didn't sneak up on me-
I drowned our love in
the kitchen sink

Watched you spiral down the drain;
heard the thunder break,
and then the rain came

You disappeared into the storm
the lightning flashed twice,
and then you were gone

And I was right where you left me,
lying on the floor,
right where you found me
sitting by the door

I thought I stopped waiting
for you to call

But I find you
reflected in the
paintings I replaced
on the wall

And you sneak up on me-
you strangle my love
in my throat

While you watch from afar
I pace in my cage-
and the rain comes

You disappeared into the storm
the lightning flashed twice,
and then you were gone

And I was right...

Seelenfreund

eins. gasping into your shoulder- is it possible to inhale you until you can breathe for me? could we fall into each other?- into oblivion, into aching rightness where i can find the cool darkness behind your ribcage that tastes like peace.

swei. soft fingers and the sunset curve of your spine- won't you twist me into your skin? so i can sleep behind your hollow bones while you eat my heart, teeth dripping blood and promises. this is my absolution, my benediction. 

drei. your fingers on the piano keys, moonlight sonata, concerto number 3, 5th symphony movement 3. i cannot quite be tuned to match your pitch. there will be nothing composed to our fraught glory. 

vier. dancing in the rain, clouds caught on your cheeks; your voice is a thunderstorm. you wear lipstick the color of roses and magnitude, haloed in the lightning, barefoot on the damp grass; pagan goddess, lightbringer, mother of night- in what way could i...

No Pause for Breath

Drapetomania

Hey you, she says, like raindrops,
like the ocean against the shore:
would you follow me anywhere?
while she strides off
in a straight, straight line,
but curved trajectory away from you and
all you can think is
Darling, where are you going, 
where's that lighthouse you promised me?
'cause I'm a little lost
out here in the wilds

and she will smile brightly over her shoulder
but say nothing and you
will be left
in the dark
again

For the Future

Jouska

To the person in 2118-
I hope this letter finds you easy

I hope there is dirt underneath
your fingernails and you do not
live your life adrift in an endless sea
of acid and waste

I hope you sing in your languages
and love your own differences
That you are twisted in your skin;
full to the brim with life and prosperity

I wonder if you can read this-
Do you dream of us, sometimes?

I dream of you, on late nights,
when the news crashes in like thunder
on the plains we polluted;
we are still dying

I wonder if you blame us-
Do you even have enough knowledge of us to blame?

I wish I could apologize
for what we have done to you
and your world-

But I am trembling in my bones
while I write this because
the earth is shaking beneath my feet

I wish I could live to see you
change life as...

Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2018

Nadir

Nadir
n.
1. the point on the celestial sphere directly beneath a
given position or observer and diametrically opposite the zenith.

2. the lowest point; a point of great adversity or despair. 

Sunlight on the countertop by the sink,
her arms draped over the windowsill,
fingers caught in the half-closed shades

Burnt sky, pale blue and ash
reflecting off a somber earth;
she gnaws the inside of her cheek,
swallows her tongue-
because she isn't enough

And if she closed her eyes and
held her breath, 
it would almost be easy to imagine
that things never changed

But she's choking, drowning,
words strangled in her throat;
writhing in her own skin,
blood underneath her fingernails-
because it isn't enough

And if she times it right,
the thunder will break
when she opens her mouth 

Forest fingertips and mountains along
her bowed spine-
she carves things into the spaces
behind her hollowed ribcage-
and it isn't enough

Rough palms laid on quivering thighs
When she smiles, it is false-
She grins and feels the strain,
brushing tired fingers against something...

Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2018

Nadir

Nadir
n.
1. the point on the celestial sphere directly beneath a 
given position or observer and diametrically opposite the zenith.

2. the lowest point; a point of great adversity or despair. 

Sunlight on the countertop by the sink,
her arms draped over the windowsill,
fingers caught in the half-closed shades

Burnt sky, pale blue and ash
reflecting off a somber earth-
she gnaws the inside of her cheek
swallows her tongue-
because she isn't enough

And if she closed her eyes and
held her breath, 
it would almost be easy to imagine
that things never changed

But she's choking, drowning,
words strangled in her throat-
writhing in her own skin,
blood underneath her fingernails
because it isn't enough

And if she times it right,
the thunder will break
when she opens her mouth 

Forest fingertips and mountains along
her bowed spine-
she carves things into the spaces
behind her hollowed ribcage-
and it isn't enough

Rough palms laid on quivering thighs
When she smiles, it is false-
She grins and feels the strain,
brushing tired fingers against something too-sharp
...

Monostich

Looking Too Closely

The Law of Conservation of Mass- basically, the universe is the most efficient recycler ever. 

The Unknown

Alexithymia

I do not know much
about knowing

I do not know much about
where my neurons and synapses end
and my soul begins

I do not know much
about living-
How to breathe underwater without drowning,
to take blue and turn it to yellow,
to soar without wings

I do not know much
about love-
or how it is supposed to feel-
I want to crawl inside someone's skin and
stay there, I want them to
carve their names into my spine,
eat my breath, drink our sorrows

I do not know much
about myself-
If I was watercolor, if I should
stain, then, I too, could be erased

I do not know much
about what is real
and what is mine-
And where they meet and end

I do not know much
about the universe-
Why stars burn and die
and burn again;
Or gravity when it is weak,
or darkness as light

I do not know much 
about knowing
...

Acrostic Verse

Mara

Marrow-seer, wanderer; she who is strung from starlight
and shadows, oceans tangled around her ankles,
rapture clung to her feet- 
a goddess of destruction made bitter by design

Aashnaa

Carefully, through the seagrass nebula, it comes, 
on hooves of finest ivory,
with a coat of velvet darkness spotted
supernovas along a bowed spine

The Gazelle waits, shrouded in shadow,
coated in light

Quietly, through the seagrass nebula, it comes,
on steeled paws,
with a pelt made of galaxies and
stardust dripping from constellation teeth

The Lioness waits, shrouded in light,
coated in shadow

Queen mother, great empress of skies;
the Gazelle, with her arched horns curling up
from a benevolent yet sharp gaze
She wears no crown and holds no throne
and she is as loved as she is hated 

Revered beast, great majesty of worlds;
the Lioness, with her cunning smile
above a mysterious and ebony gaze
She needs no crown and the universe is her throne
and she is as feared as she is admired

Alone and together, the Lioness,
with her kingdom of lions at her back,
loping and great and wonderous-
Tails lashing and pacing back...

Monster Flash Fiction Competition 2018

Penumbra

Grinning honey-sweet with too wide eyes
clouds shiver with starfire lies-
The Dragon wakes, soft mountains
and diamond for a spine

Dripped down into smooth dark,
and the Serpent murmurs, coiled neat and tight-
feathers for scales and scales for feathers;
chasing the memory of light

And it whispers,
whip sharp and razor thin:
Child, child, little dragon child, you would come to me yet
my favorite child, my child, my child mine

Blinked awake, the Dove flies on wings
made of a thousand strands of what could be fools-gold
Casts too large a shadow,
offerings clamped in a bloody beak

And it whispers,
benevolent and cruel:
Child, my beloved child, I love you I love you
you would come to me you would you would

Teeth as sharp as cathedral spires,
stained glass halls adorned with pictures of martyrs-
Slain beasts with lamps for eyes,
blackness reflected in trembling irises

Dragon twists, between scales looms a great divide,
hollow...

Friendship Tweet

Yuanfen

They the star,
cruel as they are benevolent
I the satellite
entangled in their gravity

They breathe in
as I breathe out-
steal the oxygen from my lungs

Loving them so much
it hurts-
words paltry and pale descriptors

To spend an infinity searching-
my starshine loves, soulmates, halves of me
 

In Motion

Mercury

She has moonlight eyes and lips
the color of spilled wine-

See her standing in the pale night,
goddess of streetlamps and highways,
eyes closed and arms stretched to embrace
the night

See her weaving between the medians
and traffic lanes, gravel caught
between her toes-
She chases after headlights,
and her laugh echoes
between the unmaintained shrubbery

See her crouched, weeping over forgotten things;
tears salt and bitter on her tongue,
hands smeared with gasoline-
And that's the price she'll pay

You can find her anywhere,
patron of travelers, tramps, solivagants;
guardian of the road

You can ask her anything
if you can find her, while she wanders-
but she could never tell you how to find home

Love in 13 Words

My Most Beloved (Loving Them in 13 Words)

Wanting them to crawl inside my skin; hold me reverent behind my ribcage. 

Monster Flash Fiction Competition 2018

Penumbra

Grinning honey-sweet with too wide eyes
clouds shiver with starfire lies-
The Dragon wakes, soft mountains
and diamond for a spine

Dripped down into smooth dark,
and the Serpent murmurs, coiled neat and tight-
feathers for scales and scales for feathers;
chasing the memory of light

And it whispers,
whip sharp and razor thin:
Child, child, child, you would come to me yet
my favorite child, my child, my child mine

Blinked awake, the Dove flies on wings
made of a thousand strands of what could be fools-gold
Casts too large a shadow,
offerings clamped in a bloody beak

And it whispers,
benevolent and cruel:
Child, my beloved child, I love you I love you
you would come to me you would you would

Teeth as sharp as cathedral spires,
stained glass halls adorned with pictures of martyrs-
Slain beasts with lamps for eyes,
blackness reflected in trembling irises

Dragon twists, between scales looms a great divide,
hollow yearning spaces...