paperbird

United States

Peer Reviews

the bride

FREE WRITING

i highlighted most of the stuff i particularly liked, and also the things that need clarifying. again, i’m totally in awe of everything you write. keep it up; i look forward to reading more of your work.

over 1 year

macabre soulmates

FREE WRITING

love this poem, as i do all of your work. keep it up!! can't wait to see what you write next.

over 1 year

My Mother's Smoke Shapes- Part One

FREE WRITING

ahhhh this is so good. ok this review took forever so please read all my highlights and critiques... apart from that, this is beautiful, keep writing forever.

over 1 year

This is me (part 4)

FREE WRITING

again, i love your work. expand on the black hole idea and elaborate on the planet-sun dynamic. but apart from that, this is a sturdy and emotional poem that's powerful and authoritative––it takes a stand for an emotion and it doesn't let the reader down. keep writing!!

over 1 year

They told me...

FREE WRITING

another great poem! you have these emotional, creatively formatted pieces mastered. i love your work!

over 1 year

What did I ever do to deserve you?

FREE WRITING

i love this poem, as i do everything you write. check the highlighted section and question 2. apart from that, excellent work & always keep writing!

over 1 year

what do you see?

FREE WRITING

i love this poem! you’ve got true talent here. i highlighted a couple words and phrases that felt off to me, and again, i would recommend straying away from “you”, but apart from that, this is fantastic work! keep writing.

over 1 year

The Iris Wars

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

make sure you explain the political scene in revision, as well as adding more description. apart from that, this is a worthwhile novel snippet. i love it!

over 1 year

The Right to Life

FREE WRITING

i understand this review might be kind of controversial, because i'm literally offering tips for an argument that i am opposed to. but i think that this is a really strong piece of writing, and i wanted to help you so that you can improve your debating skills even more. you have a wonderful gift here; you should continue to utilize it for the matters that you think are right. thank you for this passionate piece; i look forward to reading more of your work in future.

over 1 year

15 word stories- #13

FREE WRITING

I’m sorry that this review was shorter than my other ones are—I’m going on a vacation soon and I have to get these done beforehand. Anyway, great piece! I loved the message.

almost 2 years

beautiful woman

FREE WRITING

This is an excellent piece of work and a great representation of your writing style. The story is cohesive and flowing and the ending is particularly chilling. Great work, and keep writing!

over 1 year

flats, naturals and sharps

FREE WRITING

This is simple, but it's very beautiful. You mix your words so that they follow the dynamic of the two objects that you wouldn't ordinarily think about. Great flow and rhythm. Keep writing!

almost 2 years

To the Leaders who Threaten Nuclear War

FREE WRITING

I love this poem! Powerful, gripping, and passionately argued. You have a gift for writing that is truly extraordinary. Great job and keep writing!

almost 2 years

Be My Breath

PROMPT: Song Lines

I love this piece! It's beautiful and has a kind of mysterious tone that works perfectly with the story. You do have a few awkward phrases that I pointed to in the highlighted section. I would recommend not sticking yourself too rigidly to the four lines per stanza structure, because you had some lines that didn't work well by themselves as a result. Overall, your poem was really well-done. You're a master at these types of pieces--short, powerful poems that convey so much with few words. Keep writing!

almost 2 years

what it's like to -

FREE WRITING

It's rare that I see a poem this interesting and descriptive about something so simple. You made the idea flow artistically while keeping the concept understandable. This is done beautifully. Great work and keep writing!

almost 2 years

Searching

FREE WRITING

I loved this; truly a pleasure to read. Your entire piece was so well-written and interestingly told. The symbolism, the character building, and the orchestration were all magnificent. I love your writing and it never disappoints. Great work and keep writing!

almost 2 years

Split Ends

PROMPT: Personal Narrative Competition 2018

I love this! Interestingly-told, well-worded, and very powerful. Your different sentences brought something powerful and unique to the narrative. Great job and keep writing!

almost 2 years

Dance #contestfor69

FREE WRITING

I loved reading this! The writing flows, the narrative is interesting, and your use of written rhythm in italics adds to the tone. I pointed to a few awkwardly phrased lines in the highlighted section, but apart from that your style was flawless. Keep writing! This is my review of your work for the #paperbirdcontest. Congrats on winning first place!

almost 2 years

#LifeLemonsPrompt

FREE WRITING

This is absolutely hilarious, incredibly written, and altogether brilliant. I love your writing, and this is maybe my favorite thing of yours so far. Keep using your talent for humor like this; it will pay off.

almost 2 years

Skipping Stones

PROMPT: Why I Write

Like I said, I adore this. The way that you phrase your words makes it so closely relatable to practically any writer. I love your writing and I'm so glad that you felt compelled to write under this prompt. You had a bit of contradiction in your last two sentences and a few things that could be specified a bit more, but apart form that this piece is cohesive and flawless. Excellent job.

almost 2 years

Trains

FREE WRITING

This was moving, well-written, and powerful. I loved reading it and it amazed me how much you could do with the train metaphor. The storytelling here is laid out perfectly. Keep writing!!

almost 2 years

The Esotisphere

FREE WRITING

Normally my reviews are detailed and full of criticism, but this is more of a pleasure review, because I LOVED this piece and totally needs a sequel!!!!! One of my favorites of yours ever.

almost 2 years

golden hour - part one

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

I had a few critiques in the highlighted section and I think you could improve the character conflicts, but apart from that I adored this piece. Your sensory descriptions and writing style were on point. Great work and keep writing!!

almost 2 years

Disguised Assassin Part 1

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2018

This is excellent! You had some punctuation errors that are corrected in the highlighted section, but apart from that the story flowed very well. I do have a few critiques to the narrative as well. One thing is names. I know character names are definitely not the most important part of a story, but they do act as a kind of foundation on which the rest of the novel is built. While names like "Emerald" and "Eureka" are certainly fun to come up with, they do distract the reader from the story simply because of how unique they are. I don't know how far you're into your novel, but I would replace some of these names. Another thing is your replacements for "says." A general rule of thumb for writing: Always use "says" or "said" unless the dialogue is so emphasized that it needs something else. Replacements for "says" that are unnecessary can often distract the reader." Again, this was amazing. Writing a novel is HARD and based on this excerpt, yours is exceptional. I can't wait to read more of this. Good luck and keep writing!!!

almost 2 years

Excerpt?

FREE WRITING

I love this piece! Again, the themes are great. I did have a few critiques in the highlighted section, but apart from that the story was entertaining and interesting. I hope we get to see more of this novel/series soon! Great work and keep writing!

almost 2 years

Equinoxes and Solstices

FREE WRITING

I loved reading this piece! Aside from the highlighted bits, it has good rhythm and flow and it really felt like the seasons. Great work and keep writing!

almost 2 years

Sonder

FREE WRITING

I really enjoyed reading this poem. The ending was powerful and it made the entire poem shine. Aside form the highlighted bits and critiques in the question above, this poem is really perfect and masterfully crafted. Great work and keep writing!

almost 2 years

Night Hall #TitleGenerator

FREE WRITING

Great descriptions! Aside from the highlighted bits, I really enjoyed reading this piece. Great work and keep writing!

almost 2 years

I can wait a little more

FREE WRITING

This piece has everything: it's emotional, surprising, repetitive, and well-written. Again, check the highlighted bits, but in general I really love this poem. Great work and keep writing!

almost 2 years

Psych Ward

FREE WRITING

This piece is well-written and interesting. I would suggest adding more of a character arc: giving us more detail on what exactly the character is thinking/feeling. It's only revealed why she is a psycho at the very end. Perhaps you could add more buildup. Great work and keep writing :)

almost 2 years

look back

PROMPT: Unconventional

This piece is emotional and beautifully written. I loved the word usage. I am always astounded by your poems. Great work and keep writing!

almost 2 years

Silence is laughing part 1

FREE WRITING

This piece was interesting and I enjoyed reading it. Aside from the typos/grammar mistakes mentioned in the comments, this is amazing. Great work and keep writing!

about 2 years

More Than A Tree

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

Great work. Aside from the highlighted bits, this piece is solid and convincing. Keep writing!

about 2 years

Forest

PROMPT: Environmental Writing Competition September 2018

Great job in general. Apart from the things mentioned in the highlights, this piece is perfect. Keep writing!

about 2 years

The Knocking in the Night

FREE WRITING

I don't read much horror but this piece was amazing. It simultaneously freaked me out and satisfied me no end. Aside from the small critiques I have highlighted, I don't have much that would make it better in terms of flow and plot as it is already so perfect. Great job as always RainAndSonder :)

about 2 years

I am from, inspired by George Ella Lyon

PROMPT: Where I'm From

I love this poem! It's one of the best I've seen for this prompt. The sensory language and small details provide a great tone and I was so intrigued the whole way through! Great work and keep writing!

about 2 years

Concrete

PROMPT: 55 Word Fiction

This is a tricky prompt and you handled it magnificently. I love this piece and find enjoyment (or rather, the opposite--whatever, it's a good thing) in nearly every aspect of it. Great job and keep writing!

about 2 years

What the Water Knows

PROMPT: Human, Water, Night

Great work! This poem is excellent. Keep writing!

about 2 years

Seasonal Currents

PROMPT: Morning Wind

I really love this poem and it was so much fun to read. Great work and keep writing!

about 2 years

the wrong way

FREE WRITING

This is so cool! Its an interesting way to vocalize the concept of rebellion and I really enjoyed reading and thinking about it. Great work and kepe writing!

about 2 years

Identity

FREE WRITING

This is so good! One of the best pieces Ive seen on this site. Its written with a powerful but charming voice that you cant help but relate to. It really made me think and the whole thing is really beautfiul. Excellent job and keep writing!

about 2 years

Jealousy

FREE WRITING

This is a great piece! You conveyed the feeling in this piece really well and I really enjoyed reading it. Great work and keep writing!

about 2 years

One in a Billion Galaxies

PROMPT: FACT

I loved this piece! The form was great and it all ended with an amazing conclusion. Great work and keep writing :)

about 2 years

Lightning

FREE WRITING

This is a truly brilliant piece of poetry. You have perfect rhyme and syllable measurement. As someone who has tried and failed to write organized poems several times, I can say that this is really remarkable. You convey the meaning and make it pleasing to the ear. Great job and keep writing!

over 2 years

Summer Is Salt

FREE WRITING

I love this piece; it truly gives me the feel of summer. Great work and keep writing!

over 2 years

Sentence

PROMPT: Love in 13 Words

I love this piece! It's simple and portrays its message well. Great work and keep writing!

over 2 years

Here's to the Stereotypes

FREE WRITING

This poem is truly amazing. I think it could be a good idea to add more marks of punctuation, particularly before the beginning of a new "Here's to" Apart from that, this poem is meaningful, powerful, inspiring, and flawless. Great work! Keep writing!

over 2 years

Red Winter

PROMPT: Poetry and Spoken Word Competition 2018

Fabulous writing and fantastic job. Keep writing; I'm eager to see more of your poems on this site!

over 2 years

The STS Conscience

FREE WRITING

This piece is so excellent and suspenseful. I love every element of it. Great, great work and keep writing, especially more sci-fi stuff like this.

over 2 years

Circle of Life

PROMPT: WILD

This is an excellent piece! It's very rhythmic and sensory, and I really, really enjoyed reading it. The final message is very powerful. Keep writing! Your poems are amazing.

over 2 years

I Know This Looks Boring But It's Not

FREE WRITING

I love this piece! It's amazing and very original. Keep writing!

almost 3 years

Like Everything Else

FREE WRITING

I love this piece! It's put together and spaced out really well and has effective word choice. Great work and keep writing!

almost 3 years

On the Last Day of the World

PROMPT: On the Last Day of the World

Great work! This piece is inspiring and has just the right amount of sadness and conclusiveness. Keep writing!

almost 3 years

Untitled

PROMPT: Ten Words to You

Great work! This piece is relatable and very well put together. Keep writing!

almost 3 years

The Durariun Taxi Cab- 1

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2017

This is great! Apart from a few typos and a few places where extra words would be necessary, this piece is amazing. It's very suspenseful, interesting, and full of crazy fictional presences. Keep writing!

almost 3 years

All Aboard the Black Loch Express

PROMPT: 26 Sentences

I really like the poetic structure of this piece. While it makes the alphabetical thing prominent, it also works well with the language. You really had good word choice for this one. This is not an easy prompt, and every word fits in well with the next one, so that you really want to be on the Black Loch Express...well, until the last line.

almost 3 years

To trees and to life

PROMPT: 26 Sentences

I really like the poetic language and long sentences. This is a really good piece!

almost 3 years

1-3 Sentence Stories

FREE WRITING

This was so, so funny!

almost 3 years

Mirror Image

PROMPT: Talking to “You”

The piece itself is really cool. I like how much you dwell on the mysteries and impossibilities of mysteries. Maybe you could add more to the part about dream imagery.

almost 3 years