clarino910

United States

Message from Writer

I'm just a lovesick boy-crazy romantic who likes to make things up.

Published Work

magic dust

Middle parts in pea coats 
Roll cigarettes on marble walls,
Shoes screaming money and 
Shadows behind his eyes whispering wistful discontent.
After all, 
What else can one do with magic dust
But smoke it?

Heavy Hearts on Broken Feet

I’ll take all 52 polaroids
And arrange them into a semblance of you
That I can recognize
As I shift my heavy heart
Onto broken feet. 
It’s been 52 minutes
And I can’t look at
Your favorite books
Or the paint chipped door to your bedroom
Down the hall
Where your dresser is covered in pictures
And paintings
And snowglobes from every trip to Florida
We’ve ever taken.
I guess I’m sorry it’s hard for me
To visit the place you abandoned me
Because you supplied me
With oxygen
And another reason to breathe.

Star Wish

By Beachfront Starlight

I might have drowned my best friend in tears that night on the balcony of her beach house. The stars inched across the sky without our notice for three hours, our words filling the space between them, creating the darkness that was lit by the heavens' few ounces of joy. 

My last tear fell onto my hand as I saw it - no, I didn't see it - it couldn't have been. I'm not that lucky. 

But I did. And I was. 

A single streak of light danced across the sky, wiping away the darkness I created.

Even the ocean fell silent. The crickets swallowed their tongues and the mosquitoes fell out of the air, fell off of my skin. 
For my eyes only. She didn't see. She says she didn't. One wish, all for myself.

I no longer felt the need to cry as I wished to be happy again. 

I Fell In Love With Him

I fell in love with his laugh first
and then the way his nose turned red
whenever he laughed.
I fell in love with the way his eyes shone
in the mid afternoon sunlight,
sparkling like precious jewels.
Next I fell in love with the structure of his hands,
itching to paint his perfectly filed nails.
I fell in love with the wave of his hair
Chocolate,
like the Colorado River after a summer rain.
I fell in love with his friendship,
the way he'd talk to me
with a soft voice and quiet eyes,
smiling at every word I said.
But after the superficial things
I fell in love with HIM.

The Power to Shine Through the Clouds

How could I ever
Gain enough nerve
To look into the sun
When the moon spoke to me
The way he did
With a voice so soft
I can curl up in it
And sleep, blanketed by hope.
It becomes clear to me
Why so many dreamt
Of life up there;
I finally understand,
For, they look at him
The moon,
The brightest spot
During the night
And see the only one
Who has the power
To shine through the clouds.

Carbon Dioxide

I contribute nothing to the world
Except occasional puffs 
Of carbon dioxide

The Unknown

I Do Not Know Much

I do not know much about anatomy
But I do know
That the heart shape we know 
Is the image of to anatomical hearts
Sewn together.
I do not know much about love
But I do know 
That there is so much to go around
Yet people are still stingy.
I do know know much about you
But I do know
That we would be so good together
Good enough to sew our hearts. 

Wrestling

In English class
From under the green edge
Of his sweater
I see
A series of scratches
Scars
From knuckle to wrist
Winding their way up the hand
I long to hold
I ask him how they appeared
He smiles at the memory and says
"I was wrestling with my dog
and he scratched me."
"Who won?"
"He did."
I pretend
Like I am not picturing him
Wrestling with the pup,
A childlike smile 
Dancing across his teeth
For his hands are scarred
By tender paws
While mine stay pure
Untouched
He wrestles with the dog
The way I wrestle
With my heart

Beautiful to the Outside Eye

flip flops clambering on hot summer asphalt
red hair sticking to my neck 
with sweat and the sticky juice of a blue raspberry push pop
my mother's hand in mine
crossing the parking lot
my eyes cast downward
watching mosquitoes swarm around my pale legs
i wiggle my toes to shoo them away
a woman exiting the store asks my mother
"are they all yours?"
and gestures to my siblings and I with wide eyes
and a smile so subtle 
it takes a child's eye to see
my mother laughs to herself and replies
"all mine!" 
with a grin even an adult couldn't miss
and the woman's eyes soften
and her teeth spread across her face
then she comments
"they're beautiful."
i smile to my toes
the mosquitoes do too
as the woman walks away
my mother says "she's right; i am blessed."
but is she the one who is blessed
when i am the one who is hers
and...

Heavy Hearts on Broken Feet

I’ll take all 52 polaroids
And wrap them in a rubber band
For when I can actually stand
So please be with us
As I shift my heavy heart
Onto broken feet, 
For it’s only been a few hours
And I already can’t look at
Any of our favorite books
Or the paint chipped door to your bedroom
Down the hall
Where your dresser is covered in pictures
And paintings
And snowglobes from every trip to Florida
We’ve ever taken.
I guess I’m sorry it’s hard for me
To visit the place you abandoned me
Because you supplied me
With oxygen
And another reason to breathe.

Love in 13 Words

Love in 13 Words

The relentless thought of the hands that wrote my prized collection of letters.

The Girl With Fire for Hair

I watched her every day. I watched the girl with fire for hair every single day as she strolled through the colorless cemetery. Her face always looked morbid, and sometimes I heard her hum a solemn tune as she slowly walked between graves. The song never failed to have many sharp, flat, and minor chords to fit the scenery. Her melancholy music buzzed in her mouth and transferred to the deepest crevices of my mind, reverberating like a swarm of furious bees; zipping and zooming and buzzing in her throat and my head, forming her song to the dead. Every day she hummed a new song. The music ate away at my sense of happiness, and made me wonder why she did this every day. And even more so, why I watched her.

On one particular day, the sun shone dully in the sky, and fed off of the warmth and joy to omit an icy wave of wind that...

The mail came early that day.

The mail came early that day. The sun shone bright through the tree branches and lay softly on the wood of my porch, the perfect place for Muffy to lie out in the sun. 

The breeze whistled through my hair as I swung open the mailbox door and plucked out the only letter I had received. 
The thing felt strange in my hands, an unmarked envelope sealed improperly - no - not at all. The flap had merely been folded inside. 

This wasn't your standard mail. No, this was hand delivered right to me, and It was meant for me to read and to fear and to tear apart word by word. He couldn't have found me already. I can't leave again.
Inside the envelope sat a single unlined index card with six words written in perfect first grade teacher handwriting so as to be unidentifiable. 

I know what you have done.

My heart sank to my chest immediately. Though...

The Things Dancers are Told

as a dancer
they tell you
to smile even if 
you forget
the steps
and not to let it show
on your face
they tell you
to keep smiling
even if you’re hurt
or embarrassed
and not to let it show
because chances are
you're the only one who noticed
they tell you 
to hide it all
behind a smile
until you do it naturally
and the action 
becomes a reflex:
to smile
even though
you have no idea
what on earth you’re doing
you do until you smile
in everything you do
but the last thing they ever tell you
is that they still clap for you
even when you fall

Her Freckles Were Stars To Him

To him, 
Her body was a galaxy.
Her freckles
Were stars,
Her mind 
The moon,
Her heart
The sun. 
Her blood
Orbited the space;
Unaware 
Of just how lucky
It was
To run through her.

It's So Hard

It's so hard
Not to fall in love with someone
When they sing
To smile
When butterflies
Flutter into autumn leaves
To cry
When ocean waves
Take siege of your castle
To grieve
When seagulls
Fly away
With the only dream you ever cared to reach for.

The One I Always Come Back To

The one I always come back to
The one I must get right
The one of which I can never let go
Or ever let out of my sight.
We’re hardly a perfect match,
We couldn't get along worse.
Yet every time you start singing your song
I’m in on the second verse.
We argue and we fight
And make each other cry
And time after time after time again
We lie and we lie and we lie.
While you break my heart in pieces
And just add to my mess of pain
I’m sick and tired of trying
To glue them together again.
Though the media tells me otherwise,
You’re not the one I once knew.
You’ve lost all your life and have broken
But I'm the one who did it to you.
You were always the hardest for me to love
The one I’ve never understood
With your scars and paper skin
There aren't footprints where you stood. ...

WILD

Weary In My Strength

I shake silently in my fear
Paralyzed by sorrow I knew would arise; 
Like bile in the back of my throat
Your name sizzles on my lips,
The flutter in my heart 
That I thought would fly away
Has grown weary in her strength
Wild with anticipation
To hold the hand of the one I love - 
The one I will never have.

Sea Storms

Grains of sand between my toes,
The salty breeze through my hair,
The light from the sun just adds shadows,
Brooding over the water's despair.
There are things I know you wish you knew,
For all I’ve said are lies;
and like my thoughts, sea storms brew,
The blue of the fear in your eyes.
The water is cold beneath me,
Freezing every cell.
Yet it burns me to such a degree
It takes everything not to yell.
It takes everything not to yell and scream
And eternally curse your name,
Fury and sadness flood my bloodstream,
For to you, we're all the same.

On the Last Day of the World

On the Last Day of the World

On the last day of the world
I would climb a mountain
And scream until my chords bleed
And the birds have fled from their trees.
In the last hours of this life
I would package up my fears
And ship them away
To wherever it is I might live next.
In my last few moments
I may shed a tear
But that would not be the time
To mope or cry
I would say the words
I've always wanted to say
And hope someone is there to hear them.

Talking to “You”

Today

Dear Theo, 

    Today was the day. Today was the day that I'd dreamed about since I could dream, I think. None of the circumstances were perfect. Nothing was lining up the way I thought it would, the way I planned it to, the way I needed it to. Until I saw you, that is. 
    You looked just like I remembered you. Stunningly handsome, but in a completely new way. Where you were all shoulders and hair in high school, today you were big hands and arm veins and legs longer than the Empire State Building. You were perfect. 
    Today I gathered the courage to talk to you, something I never in a million years thought I would be able to do. But today was the day everything in line fell out of it and everything out of line fell into it. 
    You hardly remembered me. I could tell you knew my face but could not place a name, no matter...

i miss you

I miss the days 
you were in 
and the nights
you held me close
all alone
I miss the hours
the sun shone just for us
and the number of seconds
it took me 
to know you were the one