chel

Singapore

chel (Singapore) published:

something a bit more personal and messy

FREE WRITING

Confused. 

I think that's how I would describe my state of mind today. And for the past week. 

I'm so confused. Everything's changing too fast...I'm changing too fast, time's going too fast. Aspirations are changing, thoughts are changing. It feels like I'm the only volatile one in this space of monotony. 

I can't even pen my thoughts down these days...it's all so complicated. It's all zipping around in my mind too fast, undeveloped and unsustained. 

It's come to a point...

almost 3 years ago

chel (Singapore) published:

Thoughts on the way home

FREE WRITING

The wheels turn, landscapes whirl by in a blur, and I recall a time, long ago, when I was excited to travel.  

​Maybe travel isn't the right word -- to explore? To catch a glimpse of the ever changing and ever growing world that I knew?  To simply be astounded by the views I never knew existed, and if I did, be astounded again? 

Yet now, I can't seem to summon the energy, or the care, really, to take a...

about 3 years ago

2

chel (Singapore) published:

recent thoughts

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I really don't feel cut out for school -- the restrictions, 
the conformity, the narrow minded examinations
and learning. 

I want to do something creative, 
something vitalising, 
something I can actually enjoy and love for the rest of my life. 

Instead, I'm stuck discussing a future I don't really want to have,
a future I know I won't enjoy, 
a future I don't even know if I'm good enough to have. 

And yet I don't know what else I want...

about 3 years ago

chel (Singapore) liked Hallucination by Nonny21 (Maldives)

about 3 years ago

chel (Singapore) earned a badge Leader

about 3 years ago

3

chel (Singapore) published:

Today

FREE WRITING

The clock is ticking and I have 2 hours left.
I stare at the squiggles on my paper,
am i stupid?

The clock is ticking and I have 1 hour left. 
I can't wait to get out of here, 
i really want to travel the world....

The clock is ticking and I have 30 minutes left.
I don't feel anxious,
is this what giving up feels like?

The clock is ticking and I have 15 minutes left.
I half-halfheartedly try...

about 3 years ago

chel (Singapore) liked brown avocados by jengelman (Australia)

about 3 years ago

1

chel (Singapore) published:

Rumination

FREE WRITING

and in the end are we not all eighteen year olds who want to find our place in the world? to feel needed, to feel wanted, to feel like we've earned our victory. and yet the journey feels incredibly tough -- running endlessly, fruitlessly it seems, to an end we still have yet to concretise. we say we want one thing, then we turn around the next day and say we want something else. it perplexes me, it really does,...

about 3 years ago

4

chel (Singapore) published:

Something I felt on the way to school

FREE WRITING

i saw the leaves
dancing in the air
and
without a reason at all
my tears
crystallized
and
i could see the leaves
no more.

about 3 years ago

chel (Singapore) earned a badge Favoriter

about 3 years ago