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TheWildTimTam

New Zealand

I'm a journalism student, drama nerd, grammatical enthusiast and tea connoisseur.
Writing is my expression of the world and a way to illustrate my mind.
"I'm not scared to be seen/I make no apology/this is me." - Keala Settle
You're welcome.

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TheWildTimTam (New Zealand) published:

Stones

PROMPT: In Motion

A stone, the smoothed edges swooping cleanly, falls. It spins in the air, ducking and weaving with ease, twirling like a forgotten dream before it hits the glassy surface of the still water. Ripples sprint out in lines, droplets leap into the air to come crashing down again, the stone slides through the water and begins to sink. Flipping, side over side, slowly this time, it drags through the water. The bottom of the lake greets the stone, sand and...

Seeking Peer Reviews

about 23 hours ago

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TheWildTimTam (New Zealand) published:

A Letter To The Past, Present And Future

PROMPT: Signing Off

Dear Me (Past, Present and Future),

I know, it's strange to address a letter to oneself, especially in the past, present and future tense but I feel like this is an appropriate thing to do at the current time. We've been through a lot, haven't we? 2017 was a hell of a year. There have been times when we've doubted everything about ourselves and questioned what makes us who we are. There have been times when we have lamented at...

Seeking Peer Reviews

16 days ago

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TheWildTimTam (New Zealand) published:

I Am Happy

FREE WRITING

I am happy
I am happy like the sun blazing in the blue summer sky
Ribbons of warmth radiating down to the lush grasses of earth
Like a dolphin gliding effortlessly through the glittering ocean
Rocketing above the surface to elegantly twirl for just a second
I am happy like a lazy breeze rolling through a canopy of green
Shushing the leaves and lifting feathers from the ground
Like flowers as they open their bright petals to a new day ...

Seeking Peer Reviews

21 days ago

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TheWildTimTam (New Zealand) published:

Wild Weather

PROMPT: WILD

A fierce wind howling through a tangled forest
Whipping crisp skeleton leaves from fraying grasses
Driving away the morning dampness and leaving curling fauna

A blazing sun hanging in a barren, cloudless sky
Pillars of flaming light blasting the singed earth
Waves of rippling heat rising into the burning expanse

A violent storm shattering the heavens
Jagged slashes of white and rumbling thunder
Water in a swirling maelstrom, a tumbling flood





 

Seeking Peer Reviews

27 days ago

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TheWildTimTam (New Zealand) published:

Platoamor - A New English Word We Need

PROMPT: Fernweh


Platoamor
(noun)

(origins) From the English "platonic" and the Latin "amor" meaning love with the combination meaning something quite special between friends.

(pronunciation)
-Plah-toe-ah-more-

(definition)
The kind of platonic and utterly innocent love one feels only for ones friends. This is a kind of love which is different to the love one feels for family as it has come from the pure and spontaneous meeting of two people as opposed to blood relations.

(example)
The bond they had was platoamor;...
Seeking Peer Reviews

about 1 month ago

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1

TheWildTimTam (New Zealand) published:

Platoamor - A New English Word We Need

PROMPT: Fernweh

Platoamor

-Plah-toe-ah-more-
(noun)
The kind of platonic and utterly innocent love one feels only for ones friends. This is a kind of love which is different to the love one feels for family as it has come from the pure and spontaneous meeting of two people as opposed to blood relations.
(example)
The bond they had was platoamor; they'd been best friends since anyone could care to remember.
 
Seeking Peer Reviews

about 1 month ago

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1
1

TheWildTimTam (New Zealand) published:

Apologizing

PROMPT: Setting as Mood

Apologizing was not Rosa's forte, it never had been. Especially not in the one place she called peace where the soft baby hues of sunlight gently eased their way through the canopy of lush foliage to splash upon deep green grasses that swirled around broad brown tree trunks. High, clear notes of birdsong could be heard, echoing through the eves while the leaves of the trees shushing together created a lulling and hypnotic sensation. Matching that was the whispering of...

Seeking Peer Reviews

about 2 months ago

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2

TheWildTimTam (New Zealand) published:

Creation

PROMPT: Why I Write

I write to paint pictures that I cannot draw, words replacing brush strokes and phrases instead of colour bleeding into color.
I write to express the plethora of emotions hurtling about in my mind, releasing the thoughts and feelings I keep tucked away.
I write to create universes that would otherwise not exist, maps unfurling through the empty space.
I write to explore the farthest reaches of humanity, both the great and the terrible as they coexist.
I write to...

Seeking Peer Reviews

3 months ago

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TheWildTimTam (New Zealand) published:

One Sided Friendship

FREE WRITING

I was always there for you
I always said hello
But lately there's been silence
And I'm feeling really low

I type out each "How's it going?"
"Is everything okay?"
And hope you'll do the same
But there's nothing each day

Both of you have let me down
And I don't really know why
I tell you I'll be there for you
Though now I'd like to cry

For days there has been nothing
Weeks, maybe longer
I wish you'd...

Seeking Peer Reviews

4 months ago

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TheWildTimTam (New Zealand) published:

Your Tradgedy - Chapter One

FREE WRITING

You always were perfect. We resented you for that; how impeccably you dressed, you slick and stylish hair cut, your grasp of the intricacies of the English language that would have made royalty proud, even how you held your damn cutlery. You had it all and I guess that's why we ignored you. Hated you, even. We had close to nothing, struggled to find somewhere to sleep each night and there you were, swaggering around in your silk shirts and...

Seeking Peer Reviews

4 months ago

Published Work

In Motion

Stones

A stone, the smoothed edges swooping cleanly, falls. It spins in the air, ducking and weaving with ease, twirling like a forgotten dream before it hits the glassy surface of the still water. Ripples sprint out in lines, droplets leap into the air to come crashing down again, the stone slides through the water and begins to sink. Flipping, side over side, slowly this time, it drags through the water. The bottom of the lake greets the stone, sand and weeds rushing away, parting for the stone to land and settle, shivering with motion. As the sands roll over the stone and the water ripples into stillness, another stone begins to tumble.

Signing Off

A Letter To The Past, Present And Future

Dear Me (Past, Present and Future),

I know, it's strange to address a letter to oneself, especially in the past, present and future tense but I feel like this is an appropriate thing to do at the current time. We've been through a lot, haven't we? 2017 was a hell of a year. There have been times when we've doubted everything about ourselves and questioned what makes us who we are. There have been times when we have lamented at the complete pointlessness of mundane activities and have been simply burning up with dreams, desires and ideas. Yes, we've had a hell of a year. We fell in love, didn't we? We learned that emotions and feelings aren't as simple to define as those wonderful rom-coms and YA novels like to make out. We came to the conclusion that it's a rather messy affair. We worked through phases of self-doubt, didn't we? We researched various sexuality's and decided that it...

I Am Happy

I am happy
I am happy like the sun blazing in the blue summer sky
Ribbons of warmth radiating down to the lush grasses of earth
Like a dolphin gliding effortlessly through the glittering ocean
Rocketing above the surface to elegantly twirl for just a second
I am happy like a lazy breeze rolling through a canopy of green
Shushing the leaves and lifting feathers from the ground
Like flowers as they open their bright petals to a new day
Stretching in a splash of glorious colour among the soil
I am happy
I am happy like the deep inhalation of breath as you take a break in laughing
Sides splitting and face aching with grinning gleefully
Like rowdy applause thundering through a stadium
And the brilliant union of the Mexican wave
I am happy like the quietest moment before the rest of the world wakes up
Appreciating the beauty and fragility of such a moment
Like the pinpricks of...

WILD

Wild Weather

A fierce wind howling through a tangled forest
Whipping crisp skeleton leaves from fraying grasses
Driving away the morning dampness and leaving curling fauna

A blazing sun hanging in a barren, cloudless sky
Pillars of flaming light blasting the singed earth
Waves of rippling heat rising into the burning expanse

A violent storm shattering the heavens
Jagged slashes of white and rumbling thunder
Water in a swirling maelstrom, a tumbling flood





 

Fernweh

Platoamor - A New English Word We Need


Platoamor
(noun)

(origins) From the English "platonic" and the Latin "amor" meaning love with the combination meaning something quite special between friends.

(pronunciation)
-Plah-toe-ah-more-

(definition)
The kind of platonic and utterly innocent love one feels only for ones friends. This is a kind of love which is different to the love one feels for family as it has come from the pure and spontaneous meeting of two people as opposed to blood relations.

(example)
The bond they had was platoamor; they'd been best friends since anyone could care to remember.
 

Fernweh

Platoamor - A New English Word We Need

Platoamor

-Plah-toe-ah-more-
(noun)
The kind of platonic and utterly innocent love one feels only for ones friends. This is a kind of love which is different to the love one feels for family as it has come from the pure and spontaneous meeting of two people as opposed to blood relations.
(example)
The bond they had was platoamor; they'd been best friends since anyone could care to remember.
 

Setting as Mood

Apologizing

Apologizing was not Rosa's forte, it never had been. Especially not in the one place she called peace where the soft baby hues of sunlight gently eased their way through the canopy of lush foliage to splash upon deep green grasses that swirled around broad brown tree trunks. High, clear notes of birdsong could be heard, echoing through the eves while the leaves of the trees shushing together created a lulling and hypnotic sensation. Matching that was the whispering of the river winding through this small haven, it's crystal clean waters kissing the smooth boulders which sat at the edges like guardians. Sometimes, tiny rainbow fish could be seen darting with the ripples of the water. As the comforting warmth of the day wandered lazily between the trees, Rosa clamped her mouth shut. She refused, even in front of the person she loved the most in all the world, to taint this heaven with apologies laden with sorrow and sadness....

Why I Write

Creation

I write to paint pictures that I cannot draw, words replacing brush strokes and phrases instead of colour bleeding into color.
I write to express the plethora of emotions hurtling about in my mind, releasing the thoughts and feelings I keep tucked away.
I write to create universes that would otherwise not exist, maps unfurling through the empty space.
I write to explore the farthest reaches of humanity, both the great and the terrible as they coexist.
I write to believe in a brighter day, a time when we will live as one being as opposed to divided societies.
I write to let others into my little world, connecting with those I have never met and shake their hands.
I write to experience freedom, a freedom which many can only dream of.
I write to myself and I write for anyone who will take notice.
I write because it is who I am.

One Sided Friendship

I was always there for you
I always said hello
But lately there's been silence
And I'm feeling really low

I type out each "How's it going?"
"Is everything okay?"
And hope you'll do the same
But there's nothing each day

Both of you have let me down
And I don't really know why
I tell you I'll be there for you
Though now I'd like to cry

For days there has been nothing
Weeks, maybe longer
I wish you'd just say hello
Instead of only when you can't be stronger

You only message me when you're down
And never ask if I'm fine
Because, guess what?
I'm not always a ray of sunshine

I'm not always the one who can smile all the time
Yet you somehow use me for that alone
Goddamn, just one little "hi" would be nice
But I just stare at the blank screen on my phone

So maybe one day you might realize
That...

Your Tradgedy - Chapter One

You always were perfect. We resented you for that; how impeccably you dressed, you slick and stylish hair cut, your grasp of the intricacies of the English language that would have made royalty proud, even how you held your damn cutlery. You had it all and I guess that's why we ignored you. Hated you, even. We had close to nothing, struggled to find somewhere to sleep each night and there you were, swaggering around in your silk shirts and trousers that cost more than everything I had ever owned put together with your happy, confident smile and your perfect life. Christ, you knew you were better than us. Which is why, at first, I wasn't sorry to hear you were dead. Sounds harsh, I know, but you have to understand that from my perspective, you death was a rich kids demise and I no longer had to feel quite so inadequate and put up with your prejudiced attitude. Think...

Dreaded Birthdays

I actually don't like birthdays.
I know! Shock! Horror! But, truth be told, I have come to dread a day used to celebrate the birth of a human being. Hashtag weird much! There's no definable reason, nor is there some dark secret of my past that will explain my growing dislike of birthdays. Heck, I don't even enjoy my own all that much. Though, cake is nice. It just seems all very overkill. Presents, people, a feast to make deities proud, photographs, more presents, slicing cake, streamers, balloons, themes... And let's not forget the frantic panicked dash into a shop because you cannot show up without a gift or else the disappointment and guilt will haunt you forever more. Choosing cards is a nightmare too. Will they like a funny one that farts when you open it? Or a pink one with glitter? Wrapping paper and paper cuts. Trying to curl ribbons with scissors and ultimately ending up with several...

Third Person Limited

The Airport

"Emma, sit still!"

Her mother sounded weary, as if she had risen at 3am that morning, got into the car and had been driving ever since. Perhaps that was because it was true. Emma jiggled her legs together again, unable to think of a previous time when she had felt more insanely excited. She didn't even feel tired; anticipation keeping her eyes wide open and her heart beating swiftly. It was quite possible she was behaving like an overexcited puppy or someone half her age but the fact was, Emma had not seen her best friend for seven months straight and now they were driving to the airport to pick Laura up. They talked on the phone all the time and texted but it just wasn't the same as crashing on the couch and eating their way through several bags of chips and talking non-stop. Emma missed that. Ever since her parents had decided to move to the lake which...

Tonight I Can't Sleep

Tonight will be different
I tell myself that
Curling into my cocoon of blankets
I swear to myself
Breathing deeply and closing my eyes

Tonight will be different
I'm lying to myself
It will be like all the others
Eyes flying open
At 4am

Tonight will be different
Oh how I wish it were
I stare at the crescent moon
Mind wide awake and whirring
Unable to tumble back into dreams

Tonight will be different
The mantra I hopefully tell myself
Yet my drooping eyes speak otherwise
The yawn that splits my face
The way I drag my feet

Tonight will be different
A fools hope and I am a fool
What can I do for I'm going crazy
Sleep eludes me at 4am
Every single night

Tonight will be no different
This I know to be true
A resigned sigh
Waiting for the day to dawn
And knowing tomorrow night will be no different

 

I Fell In Love With My Best Friend

I fell in love with my best friend
It didn't happen swiftly
Like the stories say it does with love
It happened sort of slowly
Gradually building up like the paper on my desk

I fell in love with my best friend
At first I wondered what it was
There was no lighting strike or rapid heart beat
Instead a soft feeling of fondness
Whenever I heard from them

I fell in love with my best friend
Apparently that's an awkward thing to do
Initially I had to agree
But in the end when I knew what it was
It seemed so normal to someone like me

I fell in love with my best friend
Not for the body (though that's not too bad)
Because I'm ace and we do cake
But because of who they are and how they make me smile
Something which many fail to do

I fell in love with my best friend
I haven't told...

Year by Year

Seventeen Years I Won't Forget

The first year is told in photographs because she is too young to recall
A elegant vase of blooming roses, redder than a dawn sky
And much taller than the tiny baby swaddled in blankets beside it
Perhaps she remembers the sweet scent and that is why she loves it now, a smell she won't forget

The second year is a Christmas that she thinks she can recall
Piles of lovingly wrapped gifts but her favourite is a pink rubber ball
Clutched between her chubby little palms and pressed to her chest
The sticky plastic gluing to her flesh, she thinks a thing like that she can't forget

The third year is the umbrella hurtling down the road as she can recall
That little plastic rainbow one with the funny ears on top
Ripped from her fingers in the roaring wind as she screams for someone to get it
How the sadness settled in her chest when it was gone...

Names for Nature

​The Circle Of Freedom

There is a place, a secret haven which I visit, a place where my thoughts can be free and I can relax, tucked away from the world. Hidden behind an ancient stand of pines, gnarled and twisted by the ferocious weather and the running of time, is a small clearing, edged by ragged rocks wearing cloaks of leaf green and butter yellow, rising from baby soft grass and pale daises. It overlooks a rolling field which tumbles over itself before plunging into a ravine. The clearing follows the shape of a ring with a bit of artistic license; marching to the beat of its own drum. And here, here is where I hide. The world is a busy place, full of noise, responsibilities, texts, emails and notifications for the part time job you've unwillingly taken on so you're not totally broke when you leave home. Sometimes, I need to escape, join the arms of nature and inhale the soft scent...

I Saw A Magazine The Other Day

I saw a magazine the other day
Glossy cover promising a world of beauty and perfection
I saw a girl pouring over the magazine
Her eyes wide and her fingers hastily flicking the pages
And I knew what she was wishing for

I saw a magazine the other day
Stacked on a rack at the checkout in a supermarket
I saw a little girl of only five, hanging off her mothers arm
Asking if they couldn't just buy it please mummy!
And I watched the mother glance at the cover and nod

I saw a magazine the other day
About a girl who hated herself so much
She starved her body until she was admitted to hospital
The baffled doctors asked her why
And all she wanted was to be pretty

I saw a magazine the other day
Inside was a set of statistics that I wish I didn't know
Suicides in the youth of today
So many because they...

Slow Seeing

Colours of Dawn

Like an inky blanket, the night lies over rolling hills and an ocean devoid of ripples. The darkness, pierced only by tiny silver pinpricks of starlight envelopes the sleeping world. A sky stained black. Breathless and still. The world sleeps, calmed by the colour of darkness.

And then, reaching over the crest of a bush clad hill, tiny fingers of newborn sunlight bleed into the blackness, baby yellows and oranges, softer than dandelion fuzz. They stretch themselves higher, curving with space. The grace in which these infant colours curl into the unyielding darkness could be likened to a ballet dancer, pirouetting through the world with elegance and poise; a delicate and dreamy fashion.

Behind them, stronger streams of colour rise. Fiery orange blazing through the soft hues, blasting away the black, morphing the canvas sky into a patchwork quilt of peach pinks and oranges. An artists easel swirled together. Baby colours thrown into the far corners of the sky, bold...

Walking The Path

Walking along the winding path of the life you own
Thinking you know it all in its complexity
You think you know how to morph and twist each turn
To fit what you so desperately desire and need
You believe you have it hard and nothing than compare
Trading stories with others who walk their own paths
Honestly thinking that you are treated unfairly
That the world works against you and no one cares
You think that you are the king or queen of the castle
No one can ever take your crown because you are so special
No one can tell you what to do or when or why
Because you rule your path
You rule

You do not rule your path or this castle
Anyone can take your crown however they like
Because you are not special
At least not in the way that you think you are
You think all these things yet you never think at...

Dream

A dream is something impossible that you vow to make possible. Something that will tease, torment and plague you, demanding to be fulfilled. It is also something that makes you feel whole and broken at the same time, alive and dead, happy and sad. At least, that's what I've found with a dream.

Ever since I was five, I had ideas, options. But never anything that truly stuck or made sense. I wanted to be everything from a builder to the Prime Minister. A marine biologist to a pilot in the air force. Nothing solid, nothing true. Just something to say to the well meaning adults when they asked, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

I always envied the kids who said that they had always wanted to be something. The conviction in which they spoke of their futures and desires. Their dreams. I wanted something like that. I wanted something that made me smile when...

Mornings

There is something about the birth of a new day that captivates me, halts me in my tracks and quietens my breath. Perhaps it is the way the thin, golden fingers reach over the dim hills that rise like sentinels from the ocean. Or perhaps it is the way the deep clouds are streaked with a rich pink, dancing across the slowly lightening sky. It could be the way the chill of the night is swept away and my body is bathed in gentle warmth. Or even the way the world is dipped in molten gold for a few moments before the sun properly lights the land. Could it be when the birds awaken and begin a melody that echoes across the gullies and bounce off the cliff faces? Or when the steam rises from the ground in plumes of pale cloud. Maybe it is while the ocean is kissing the shore and its waters are tinged with a fiery...

I Cannot Breathe

I cannot breathe,
I cannot see,
I cannot think.

Hands shaking uncontrollably,
Thumbs crashing into one another with reckless abandon,
Heart racing like a competitor in a rally,
Blood surging as though mimicking the wild ocean,
Each gasped breath shallower than the last,
Chest rising and falling rapidly.

I cannot breathe,
I cannot see,
I cannot think.

A vain attempt to swallow the enormous lump settled in my throat,
Millions of swarming butterflies performing pirouettes in my stomach,
My vision blurs as my eyes well up with an unprecedented amount of water.

I cannot breathe,
I cannot see,
I cannot think.

My arms and legs tingle with terrible anticipation,
They burn as though molten larva flows through my veins as opposed to blood,
The waiting is the worst,
Though the writing was difficult,
Unable to quell the quivering,
The waiting is killing me slowly and painfully,
Staring at the glowing screen with wide eyes and a heart laid bare.

I...

Your View

Opinionated Opinions

Opinion number one is one regarding good and bad. The world is not all split into those who walk in darkness and those who walk with angels. While some people fit into these categories, most of us stand somewhere in the middle, each holding a certain potential. We make our choices and we decide where we walk but we are not divided into good and evil.

Opinion number two deals with labels. Are we products on supermarket shelves? No. We do not need labels to define ourselves. We do not need to be judged by these labels. Whether we be gay, trans, straight, ADHD or have anxiety issues, we do not need to be defined by these. What defines us is what we value. What our morals consist of and how we treat the world around us.

Opinion number three is that we must learn to recognize and accept when we are wrong rather than refusing to believe that someone...

We Are Ace

I honestly believed that I was the same.
I believed that I was in the majority.
And then I discovered that I was wrong.
Through the binoculars of life, I saw.
Saw that I was in the smallest minority available in this realm.
The most unaccepted minority in a world of majority.
To understand was to admit I was different.
However, this wasn't anything I was unfamiliar with.
They call us cold hearted and detached.
They label us with tags that we do not deserve.
Lives should never revolve around labels.
Yet here we are, labels stuck to us like glue.
We are not what these labels claim.
We are compassionate.
We are caring.
We are proud.
And above all, we value the true meaning of friendship.
We are Ace.
 

The Perfect Tea Pot

Finding the perfect tea pot is tricky. Today, in one of my infrequent ventures into town, I decided that it was high time to purchase my own tea pot. I had been subjecting myself to the ratty family one for far too long. No more! So, armed with an image and a budget, I wandered the streets, poking my nose into shops and withdrawing again. Massive ones, tiny ones, floral ones, plain ones. And some shops had none at all. I found dozens of coffee plunger mugs and lots of strainers, not to mention the ever present mugs. But the perfect tea pot remained elusive and I was nearly ready to conclude my inconclusive search when I stumbled upon a hospice shop, neatly tucked away behind some massive clothing department store. There, sitting neatly on a shelf with a matching sugar bowl and little milk jug, was a green-grey pottery tea pot with a bamboo handle. It was love at...

Fear

Fear.
Such a small word for such a big thing.
I suppose, when thinking about it, fear was something I grew to understand and even to embrace. Fear became my escape. My escape from a world already full of so much other stuff that fear hardly registered on the worry radar in my messed up mind. Father, mother, brother, uncle. They taught me fear, among other things. A fear that set the heart racing, blood pumping, sweat pouring and mind humming. A fear that made my legs wobble and my vision blur. A fear that left me weak and shaking. Of course, they all ended up six feet under, pushing up daisies. There was only so much fear they could create without catching the backlash. It wasn't me. I swear it wasn't me. Well, when I say that, I mean that it wasn't the me that is writing this. It was the other me. You know, the me that came...

Names, Names, Names

Which Witch is Which?

A breakfast joint: The Hungry Hippo
A new smartphone: Albert
An eyeglass store: Eye Spy
A dog pound: Doggone Kennels 
A Highway: Ribbon Road
An island resort: The Sanctuary
A new constellation: Stellae Decorus
A pet polar bear: Hugo
A nail polish colour: Magnetic Mango
A new butterfly species: Magnis Alis

Bored!

I am bored.
Yes. I am bored.
I've finished exams for the year and have passed level two. So there's no school for me to complete. I'm not at home, instead staying with my grandparents so I can't do what I'd normally do and go swimming or bush bashing or something like that. I've exhausted my supply of books I brought with me. Twice. My friends around here don't really know me anymore so that rules out hanging with them and besides, it's a school day for most. While it's nice weather, there's still not much to do here. The internet holds no hidden gems for me today and I'm this close to pulling a Sherlock and blasting bullets at a yellow smiley face on the wall. I'm just sitting here in the sun drenched lounge in the middle of town with the laptop burning a hole in my thighs wondering what the hell to do with my abundance of...

Life, Choices and Beliefs

I think about life a lot. Before you get worried, it's not in the morbid way. I just happen to ponder both the literal and metaphorical meaning of life itself. Some people will tell you it's about fulfilling a mission we got sent here to achieve. Others will say we are here because someone put us here. I fully respect all of these ideas and beliefs. I really, truly do. I have no problem what so ever in anything anyone wishes to believe, whether or not I chose to believe it. I have my own ideas.

See, I like being in control of my life. The concept of having some higher power ordaining what I do and how I do it doesn't sit so comfortably with me. I don't believe in a Hell for sinners because I don't believe that someone out there takes the time to punish those who supposedly deserve it. Sure, there are some nasty people out...

10 Words

My Life In December

Conglomeration
Entertainment
Merriment
Christmas
Outdoors
Delicious
Family
Music
Gifts
Sun
 

Love Is Bitter

I met her and instantly liked her
We got talking
Had so much in common
But it wasn't long before
I realized it wasn't just friendship
Not to me
Something about her made my heart beat
Faster and faster and faster
Made my stomach do a flip
I couldn't quite thing straight

What was wrong with me?
To fall for my good friend?
Of course, she could never know
Or could she?
I told her one day
In the vain hopes she might agree
I recall trying to tell her
The shaking hands
The thudding heart
And wondering if I was doing the right thing

See, I've never been in love
And that day I realized that love is bitter
I fell in love with a good friend
And she didn't love me back
To her credit
She never once got weird about it
Didn't tell me I was gross
All she said was that she wasn't good for me ...

Truth

I have always cared a lot about what people think of me. When they look at me, what do they see? Do they like it? Or do they not? This influences the decisions I make in life as well as how I answer questions. To be totally honest with you (which is what this is all about) I have been lying to myself. I am not a solid rock. I'm not bulletproof. I care, perhaps a little too much rather than being detached and not missing people I love. I do love. And all this, this doesn't make you weak. I always had this stupid belief that it made you a weaker person. That sentiment and attachment made you less of a person. I was wrong. God, I was wrong. How stupid could I be?

Today, I realized all of this. I was listening to some reflective music, messing about in my mind and thinking about life in general when...

Break Me

When I started high school, I was excited.
When I left, I was relieved.
Those two years were the worst two years of my life. But in some ways, they were also the best.

I began high school in my impeccable uniform with my blouse collar freshly ironed and folded neatly over my school jersey. My shorts were brand new, never been worn, and my roman sandals had a fresh layer of polish on the leather. I had my bag full of everything I'd need and sitting comfortably on my back. I was smiling. Yeah, smiling. I had all these plans to make great friends, hang out and learn heaps. I poured off the school bus with a bunch of other year nines and we headed to our form rooms, getting lost along the way. I was first; I can't abide being late. Form class was fine. Our teacher was shaping up to be awesome. And then I went to...

Tea Time

Tea.
That wonderfully aromatic thing. That hot and delicious drink that calms, settles and dreams with you. I drink tea lots. Almost too much. And I'm not British. My desk at home is a conglomeration of used tea cups, tea pots, stained pages, a tray of tea bags, packets of tea leaves and strainers (because someone keeps taking them so I have to hide them). Beside my bed is a similar story. Let's not get into the top of my piano. I go to tea shops like they're book stores. Rifle through the shelves for hours until I find the perfect one. Green tea, herbal tea. Black tea, white tea. Any tea. Just not licorice. Just the other day I got a great big cup in the hopes that I'd stop drinking so much because my cup was bigger. Of course, this didn't work. I just drink triple the amount instead. I have a love affair with the stuff. At...

Make America Great Again?

Watching the presidential votes pour in last night caused much anxiety in my house. I am from New Zealand and yet I still worry. I worry because this man has a poisonous attitude towards anyone that is not like him. Anyone who is not his colour. Not his religion. Not his sexuality. Not even his gender. How can such a man be in charge of a divided country in the possession of one of the largest arsenals in the world? How will this bombshell effect other countries? Will New Zealand enter into the conglomeration of debates and walls? I worry about how this will effect the economy, thereby my future. Donald Trump is a lose cannon who should not be controlling a country. Hence why I worry. All the way over here, on the other side of the world, I worry. I guess we will wait with baited breath. Will he make America great again? Somehow, I don't think so.

Vampire Mansion - Part One

"Who are you?" he asked, staring down at the girl lying on the dusty couch.
"Bait," she whispered. "Bait, bait, bait."
"Bait?" he asked, taking in her tangled brown hair, wild eyes and torn clothes. The dried patches of blood on her shirt. "What do you mean?"
"It's coming," she whispered, voice dropping.
"What's coming?" he was starting to get spooked now. She kept staring at him, never blinking. Her lips hardly moved when she spoke and her voice was all tight and strained.
"It's coming," she repeated and suddenly the room felt very cold.
"What's coming?" he said urgently. He turned around, scanning the walls. His heart was suddenly pounding. When he looked back at the couch, the girl was gone. He swore. Feet stumbling backwards, to the door he'd come through. And then he heard a laugh, low and rolling, echoing through the mansion. It went on and on and on. Seriously paranoid now, he kept walking backwards,...

Rain of Tears

His knees buckled, hitting the ground with a thud that rattled his bones. Shock surged through his body, numbing all sense of reason and causing his mind to scatter across a realm of pain. Because there was no way she was...no. The pain, that malignant and unmerciful pain with it's razor barbs of horror seeped into his system. The world was spinning away, he was loosing his grip on reality. He saw the rain washed road, saw her looking back at him with a smile that could have lit up the world brighter than the sun. Her rose red hair tossed over one shoulder and her hand gesturing to him. Come on, Will. Let's go. And he saw the car, a lime green mini, careen around the corner and slam into her, tossing her into the air like a doll. His voice rising into the air, a shrill scream and the world shattering into incomprehensible fragments. His sister. His baby...

Music

When I listen to music, it's like pushing aside a heavy curtain to reveal a huge open space full of thoughts, ideas and memory. A grassy field that just stretches on and on as far as the eye can see. A sky so blue, you wonder who painted it that way. And all through this field there is music, the songs that made you cry. That make you smile. That make you feel like you're coming home. That make you want to do something important.

A Day I Like

There are people who will tell you that the best kind of day is warm and sunny, where you spend your day on the beach with the ocean whispering on the sand and the sun kissing your skin. Don't get me wrong, I like those days. They're nice in the same way that white chocolate is nice. It just sort of is.
Then there are people who will tell you that the best kind of day is when the snow floats down and creates a glowing white blanket on the ground like paper ready for art. When you rug up like an Eskimo and build snowmen and engage in snow warfare. And yes, I like those days too.
But the days I really like are the days when it's pouring down with rain outside and it drums on the roof, creating a beat that could lull you to sleep. The rain hammers the windows with drops bigger than your hands....

Why I Write

Creation

I write to create something I can inhabit. I write to fall into a different world, if only for a moment. I write to experience new things without leaving my bed. I write to explore.

Novel Writing Competition 2016

Fix You - Day One - Sunday

Ty shrugged his trademark leather jacket over his sweat soaked training singlet and ran his fingers through his jet black hair that was, as usual, gelled to perfection. Not a spike had strayed out of place, despite the fact he'd just been running around the soccer field for the past hour. His head ached even more furiously now than it had before practice and wasn't helped by Mikael singing some crazy victory song at the top of his lungs. God, could his headache get any worse? It felt as though his skull was about to split in half and spill his brains all over the carefully trimmed grass. Then he'd really belong to the pitch, he thought morbidly. As he walked gingerly to his car, trying not to aggravate his head any further, he massaged his temples with the tips of his index fingers. Trying to massage away last nights indulgences. Last night had been worse than the rest, he...

TheWildTimTam's 1 Like

I don't know if she fell. by facesosunny

Published about 1 year ago

28 Likes from Others

Stones

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One Sided Friendship

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Life, Choices and Beliefs

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Break Me

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Make America Great Again?

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​The Circle Of Freedom

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Wild Weather

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I Am Happy

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Apologizing

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Creation

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Tonight I Can't Sleep

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The Airport

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Dreaded Birthdays

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Seventeen Years I Won't Forget

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Opinionated Opinions

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Music

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Which Witch is Which?

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The Perfect Tea Pot

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Mornings

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Dream

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Colours of Dawn

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I Saw A Magazine The Other Day

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We Are Ace

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