ALangford

United Kingdom

semi on hiatus because i have decided i am no writer

Peer Reviews

aurora

FREE WRITING

unknown

Revelation

PROMPT: Science Fiction Competition 2018

over 2 years

"My Baby."

PROMPT: All in a Minute

Well done - this was an exceedingly well-written piece. I think you're very talented at flash fiction in a way not many people are, because you know how to make something succinct yet really evocative of complex emotions. I'm not sure I can even offer any criticism of this! So I'll just say great work, and I hope to see more of your writing on the site in future!

almost 3 years

Why I Write

PROMPT: Why I Write

This was excellently written. You have an especially good ear for poetic phrases which you integrate really well into your text. All you might want to do with this would be to maybe rephrase some of the phrases I highlighted for clarity, as sometimes I lost your meaning. Otherwise, great work, and I hope to see more of your work on the site in future!

almost 3 years

The Significance of Being There

PROMPT: Open Prompt

Well done - you're clearly a very talented writer who has a really good sense of how words can fit together to have a powerful effect. I look forward to seeing more of your work on the site in future.

almost 3 years

Why I write

PROMPT: Why I Write

I was wondering if you ever wrote poetry! You turn phrases really gracefully and your style is consistently very eloquent. This worked well in this style and you blended those descriptive sections really effectively with more simple language, making for a really interesting mix of poeticism and frankness. However, I also think that particular style can be used beautifully in verse and would be really interested to see how you might translate something like this to a different genre. But basically, well done! This was really pleasing to read and I have great admiration for your style. I hope to see more of your work on the site in the future!

almost 3 years

Rewriting The World

FREE WRITING

unknown

ylang ylang

FREE WRITING

This was a really nice poem and I loved reading it. You use language especially well, and it was interesting what you did with the structure at the end. Perhaps it wouldn't have worked on this poem, but would you consider in different works varying the structure again to create interest? Perhaps use syllabic structure to represent something you're feeling in a certain line, or introduce rhyme for a sense of closure and contentedness. You may be doing this already but it's always interesting to consider how you can convey feelings outside of using words. Well done - this was beautiful. I hope to see more of your work on the site in the future!

almost 3 years

After 12

FREE WRITING

I was wondering if this was intended to read a bit like a mixture between prose and poetry. The structure would suggest so, and you used a few full and half rhymes, which made for a really charming and curious mix. How do you view the structure of this piece? I can't overstate how impressed I was with this piece - I relate a lot to it and I think you've captured unique feelings really beautifully. Your style never ceases to be graceful, and your descriptive passages are always beautifully unconventional. Well done - I hope to see more of your work on the site in the future!

almost 3 years

Distractions

FREE WRITING

I was wondering if you'd ever considered writing dramatic monologues or anything similar, perhaps in a script. The conversational tone you've used, as well as the very subtle aspects you've revealed of character, made this something that I feel would work especially well being delivered by someone, maybe on stage. You could consider this. But otherwise, well done - this was really well-written and engaging from start to finish. I hope to see more of your work on the site in future!

almost 3 years

Los Angeles

PROMPT: Ten Words to You

This is really well written and a really effective manner of responding to the prompt. One thing I would say is, I love your line 'popping artwork' because the adjective is really unique and adds something to the sense of movement of the city too. Could you maybe use more unique adjectives for other parts - for instance. 'different cultures'? Well done though, I really enjoyed reading this and it really caught my eye. My suggestions are only small things but obviously it's a very short prompt so there's no real need to change anything as it was a really striking piece of writing and the way you structured it was so effective.

almost 3 years

Memories Forgotten

PROMPT: My December Competition 2017

Well done - I hope to see more of your work on the site in the future.

almost 3 years

For Those Who Runaway From the Moment

PROMPT: “Landmarks and Geography”

This was really impressive, well done! Quick question - do you view this as a purely written piece or a spoken word one? I think this could be really effective as a spoken word poem - it might be really interesting to consider where you could place emphasis or add certain features in order to increase its impact on an audience member sitting in front of you. Encouraging people to take part in the moment, to joy in it, might be really effective in person. Really lovely work, though - I enjoyed reading this, and hope to come across more of your work on the site in future.

almost 3 years

The Flower

FREE WRITING

This was really well written, a nice blend between artsy prose and poetry. I'd love to see some more experimentation with poetic techniques though if you ever developed on this premise - how could you maybe show the figurative decay of something physically on the page, or put it into the reader's mind that something is breaking without even having to tell them? How can you adapt the structure even more to create interest? Well done though, this was really enjoyable to read and really caught my eye. I hope to see more of your work on the site in the future!

almost 3 years

USA

PROMPT: Ten Words to You

This was a really effective way of conducting this prompt and really caught my eyes. Don't say you don't know what you're doing - this was really well written. I'd love to see this idea expanded though, and maybe referred to in a more subtle way now that you've devised the premise - could you create a scene of a play based around it, or maybe a section of prose centering around it? Well done - this really struck me as an especially nice way of using the prompt. I hope to see more of your work on the site in future!

almost 3 years

Inside my Mind

FREE WRITING

Lovely piece of work. Perhaps next time you might consider adding more evocative description throughout - could you substitute the words 'sadness' or 'madness' for something more descriptive to create interest, rather than using these quite simple terms? This was a really nice piece and very enjoyable to read - well done. You're a great writer and you really know how to strike a tone and a voice. Well done - I hope to see more of your work on the site in the future!

almost 3 years

A Moment

PROMPT: Flash Autobiography

I really enjoyed this so well done. I'd really like to see you experimenting with trying to describe what you were hearing a little bit more, though - that could be really interesting. It's so hard to describe sound vividly, and especially when it's sort of a textural thing like yours, but I think that makes it even more incredible finding ways to describe it when it's that unique. As it is, I find it harder to relate to your piece in particulars because I feel less involved in the moment since you haven't really described the sound. Well done though, this was a really well-written piece and you've captured a really unique and beautiful moment very well. I hope to see more of your work on the site in the future.

about 3 years

Flashlights

PROMPT: The Peace of Wild Things

This was a really impressive work - well done. You probably have experimented with this before, but it might be really interesting to try experimenting with different ways of writing a poem - could you vary the rhyme scheme and syllabic structure more? How about punctuation - how could you vary the use of enjambment and punctuation to create interest? And how could you use these poetic features to convey subtleties to do with the actual content of the poem - for example, in moments of beauty using satisfying rhythm and rhyme, and in moments of strife using features for a more disjointed effect? This was really enjoyable to read though, well done! I hope to read more of your work on the site in the future.

about 3 years

my unrequited crushes

FREE WRITING

I wanted to know what this was intended to be. Obviously it really reads well as a poem, but I think it could also make a really good song. I'd love to see you considering how you could accompany something like this with music, what you'd use as a chorus and what you'd be trying to get across in each verse. That might be really interesting to consider, at least. This was really enjoyable to read - you're an incredible writer. I hope to see more of your work in the future - well done!

about 3 years

A World Of My Own

PROMPT: Why I Write

This was a really enjoyable piece and you write really well. You're really good at succinct yet elegant and fluent writing. I'd love to read more of your work to see you experimenting more with the kind of descriptive writing that you lapse into in the fourth sentence, because you're a very elegant writer and I imagine your descriptions are really good. I don't really have any criticism of this to give to you at all - you write really nicely and I really enjoyed reading such a fluent, reflective piece. Well done!

about 3 years

The Cat

PROMPT: The Art of Specificity

Well done - your last description is very appealingly visual, especially the second sentence of number three, which I can envisage really clearly in my head. It's almost like you're describing a picture rather than imagining it. However, I'd love to see some more experimentation with different senses in this piece - what does the hissing sound like? Could you compare it to anything? What can you smell? What's the texture of the cat's fur like? These sorts of multi-sense descriptions can be far more interesting for a reader and have much more depth. I really enjoyed this though and hope to see more of your work on the site in the future!

about 3 years

A Trip to Aido Express

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2017

Well done - I really enjoyed this and wish you the best of luck in the competition!

about 3 years

That Made-Up World of Mine

FREE WRITING

unknown

A Reminder

FREE WRITING

You write really beautifully and this piece really engaged and attracted me from the outset. However, would you consider describing nature not just visually, but using the other senses too? It was really effective when you described the sensation of the breeze against your cheek - could you, though, maybe detail the range of aromas in nature or the sounds of the birds? This might help the reader to understand the largeness of nature and how incredible it is. This was really enjoyable to read - you're an incredible writer and I hope to read more of your work in the future. Well done!

about 3 years

Harmony

PROMPT: The Peace of Wild Things

This is a really pretty and nice piece. You use language really effectively and your structural awareness is very strong. I really enjoyed reading this and hope to see more of your writing on the site in the future - well done!

about 3 years

Suspicion

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2017

Well done - I really enjoyed reading this and look forward to reading more of your work in the future!

about 3 years

Harvey

PROMPT: Slow Seeing

unknown

“I sit and look out"

FREE WRITING

Firstly, this was really beautiful and I'm so impressed with it. You've captured something really lovely in this piece, so well done. However, I was wondering if you might enjoy varying the format and structure a little bit more. You end every line with enjambment, but would some be more effective with something grounding them or creating a sense of a pause before the next line? Equally, would you consider adding more of a sense of meter or rhythm to some lines, for example 'I observe the world's warm love/all of these I see as I sit watching from the hill up above'? This catches a bit when you read it. But overall I really enjoyed reading this beautiful piece of writing and hope to see more of your work in the future!

about 3 years

plastic and flesh

FREE WRITING

unknown

canker sores

PROMPT: Dialogue Dexterity

There were innumerable impressive things about this - your voice was really original throughout, the concept was really clever and really eloquently expressed and I found the ending/title really interesting. I was engaged throughout and was really impressed by your writing. This is one of the best things I've read in a long time. Have you considered writing plays? Of course, it could be a waste of your stunning narrative voice but it struck me that a lot of the non-dialogue in here was action. This might translate really well onto the stage, retaining that lovely dialogue but also detailing the action for the actors and painting a really lovely, intimate scene. It might be a nice thing to experiment with, anyway. Well done for this, it was really beautiful and I'll certainly be on the lookout for other things that you've been writing!

about 3 years

Minds Met with Hope

PROMPT: Beautiful Run-On

unknown

On the Last Day of the World

PROMPT: On the Last Day of the World

This shows a really good grasp of rhythm, and you cleverly inverted the second line in order to make it rhyme which contributed further to its effect as well as giving it a really poetic turn. In light of this, do you write poetry often? I think you'd be excellent at it, given that you clearly know how to phrase things with charm yet succinct depth. I'd love to see you experimenting with different structures outside of this quite closed prompt. I'd also love to see how you might develop this really individual idea in follow-up writing - do you feel like a liar in everyday life? What do you conceal from those around you, and why? This was really well phrased within the prompt and really caught my eye - well done.

about 3 years

I write because...

PROMPT: Why I Write

I really loved this - you have no pretensions about why you write and your reasons are all really lovely. However, I'd really like to see how you experiment further with poetic form in other works, though. You clearly have a great sense of structure - how can you experiment further with rhyme and rhythm? How can you create different and increasingly creative forms of structure? I loved reading this, though, and hope to see more of your work on WtW in the future!

about 3 years

Vengeance

PROMPT: The Art of Specificity

unknown

Unsaid goodbye

PROMPT: Dialogue Dexterity

This was a really impressive piece and I really enjoyed reading it. You're an excellent writer - especially for your age - so just keep going! I know what you mean re the notification thing - it's comparatively rare that someone stops by a piece of your work and reads it through, leaves a comment or a review or something, but don't be disheartened by that because it happens to all of us. You have a lot of a talent and I really look forward to reading more of your work.

about 3 years

The Destinies of the Fate

FREE WRITING

The one thing I would say is that you could think a bit more about staging. In your piece, it seems almost as though the characters stay grounded in one space. It's not up to the playwrite to dictate when the characters should move in the space, or where to, but I think it would be a really interesting point to consider, especially if you would ever consider directing a piece of your own work like this. I can't think of a single piece of criticism for this work - it's beautifully crafted throughout, you've constructed a really interesting and dynamic world which I would love to see more of and you're clearly passionate about it. Well done; this was extremely pleasant to read and I hope to read more of your writing in the future!

about 3 years

Why I Write

PROMPT: Why I Write

The one criticism I do have of this is that it can appear a bit disorganised at the end. You go through most of the piece not elaborating on the reasons you write, but the end suddenly places a lot of detail and emphasis on school, which can seem like a digression from the actual subject. It's similar at the end with the city, although that works better because you cleverly turn it in order to highlight the last reason why you write. I would suggest that you either do this for every reason or don't do it for a random two at the end. Otherwise though, I really enjoyed this - you write beautifully, you turn sentences with great grace and your reasons for writing are rather lovely. Well done!

about 3 years

Mom

PROMPT: Why I Write

unknown

And That's To Stay

FREE WRITING

I loved this piece, it was very enjoyable to read and I hope to come across more of your work in the future!

about 3 years

Love's a Funny Word

FREE WRITING

I loved this piece, it was very moving and your writing style is effortlessly charming. However, have you considered varying the structure a little bit? I haven't read any of your other poetry so don't know if you do this often but it might be an idea to try to vary the structure, perhaps in accordance with the mood - for example, towards the end you could have made the rhythm and lines more disjointed, broken or uneven to parallel the increasingly melancholy tone. More punctuation may also be prudent for organisation of ideas in some places: although I thought your consistent use of enjambment was very effective in general, it's always interesting to experiment with things such as these. Very well done for this piece - I enjoyed reading it immensely and look forward to seeing more of your work in future.

about 3 years

The Break-Up

FREE WRITING

Well done - this is an excellent piece of work and was very interesting to read. You write fluently and with great elegance. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!

about 3 years

New York

PROMPT: Returning

unknown

The Slowly Corrupted Day

FREE WRITING

I would love to see this staged - it seems written to be spoken, not to be read. I can imagine how much more comic effect could be added with a few timely pauses, the odd sigh and, most importantly, facial expressions! I would love to see how you'd do this on the stage - perhaps with a narrator and people physically showing the action, or just a monologue. Although of course it reads well, you could add whole new dimensions if you were to have it physically read out and/or demonstrated to an audience. Overall, really well done for this - I loved reading it (it improved my day, if that's any consolation) and it seems like you've had a lot of fun with it too. I look forward to reading more of your work in future (and I won't be able to miss your distinctive tone!).

about 3 years

The Lonely Woods

FREE WRITING

I wonder if you write poetry often? This piece works best as a piece of prose, I think that's very well-judged, but you have such a brilliant ear for rhythm and sound that I imagine you'd be a very good Larkin-esque poet. You are also a very structurally sound writer, and you use it very well, which is obviously a massive advantage in poetry. I imagine you'd come up with some excellent verse. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. It's a work you should be very proud of! I look forward to seeing more of your writing in the future :)

about 3 years

End of a Prologue

FREE WRITING

Have you ever considered writing dramatic monologue? You instinctively add pauses into your prose and you play with pace very well - this really opens up pieces like this to a speaker. You also already seem to have a hidden listener, or someone whom you're telling the story to. You have a very good ear for it.There's a lot to play with. Can you imagine staging this, and having someone speak it aloud? Well done - I really enjoyed reading this and look forward to reading more of your work!

about 3 years

I'm Not A Shadow

FREE WRITING

Have you considered working more with rhyme and form? It works very well to use this specific form for this particular poem because it is so minimalist and also very song-like, but perhaps were you to write something like this again you could experiment more with rhyme and rhythm to add strength to your feelings at different points - for example, the penultimate stanza could have been unrhymed and more erratic in terms of rhythm to show the turmoil that such thoughts put you through, or maybe a rhyming couplet at the very end of the poem would have added force to your overriding idea, making it seem almost resolved. Overall though, I really enjoyed reading this and look forward to reading more of your work!

about 3 years

A small moment in time

FREE WRITING

You manage to pack an admirable amount into a short space. Your writing is very succinct yet constantly gripping and engaging, and you've definitely harnessed minimalist writing. I look forward to reading more of your work!

about 3 years

The Birds

PROMPT: Songwriting Competition 2017

Well done - this piece caught my eye from the outset. You've avoided traditional, generic topics for a song such as love or loss (and to me, a good writer distinguishes him/herself as much by chosen topic as by language), which can very easily blur into cliche, and have targeted your energy instead into a demand for political action, something I would like to see a lot more in music. I'm very impressed by this piece and look forward to reading more of your work in the future - keep writing!

over 3 years

Growing Roots

PROMPT: Writing for Children Competition 2017

Keep it up - I really love this and hope to read more of your work in the future.

over 3 years

Ten Opinions

PROMPT: Your View

unknown

Desperation, dust and drought: a Kenyan Crisis

PROMPT: Foreign Correspondent Competition 2017

Well done - I really enjoyed reading this lovely piece!

almost 4 years

Lyrics Unsung

PROMPT: Writing Synapses

unknown

Done.

FREE WRITING

I love this piece of writing, well done!

almost 4 years

The Quiet

PROMPT: My December Competition 2016

Sorry if my highlights come across as harsh at times - I did genuinely like this a lot and I think if you perhaps thought about my suggestions it could be further improved. Well done and keep writing!

almost 4 years

Love

PROMPT: My December Competition 2016

unknown

Deep Water

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

unknown

Shatterproof

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

Excellent piece of writing here, I'm a little bit in love with it! I'm pretty new here so I don't know the exact guidelines but you might want to check the word count if you intend to enter it for the competition (which you should - with some tweaks every now and then it could defo be a winner.)

about 4 years

Nefelibata

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

unknown

Project Security Rebuild

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

unknown

Power Of Greed

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

unknown

A Girl Called Whore

FREE WRITING

unknown

Three Months On

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

unknown

The Way To You

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

unknown

Ground Cumin

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

about 4 years

Silver Crescent

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

unknown

Trying To (Not) Be Stupid

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

unknown

I don't know if she fell.

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

unknown

Deep Water

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

I love the spacing out of this, the use of single sentences punctuating longer paragraphs, which especially works in this particularly thrilling scene.

about 4 years

Gasping for Breath

PROMPT: Why I Write

I love the use of structure, with your introductory lines and last line being short and simple but split by this long, somewhat frenzied paragraph in the middle - it really effectively shows the intensity of your feeling. However, you may want to change the word 'suffocate' given that the rest of the piece contradicts this. Overall, this is a lovely piece - well done!

about 4 years

Evelyn Beautiful Bell

PROMPT: Novel Writing Competition 2016

unknown

Trump and Abortion

PROMPT: Objection!

unknown

[ERROR_DEV_NOT_EXIST (0x37)]

FREE WRITING

unknown

Ineffable

PROMPT: Mysteries Abound

I like that the first two lines are linked through the medium of music and dance. This concept of the world's harmony is a nice one - you could try linking it again to your third line to continue this theme (maybe bring in percussive features for more depth, emphasised through plosives), and it might also work well with your conclusion line at the end, sort of like a comparison between inadequate human speech and the power of the world's music as a force, sort of like in Armitage's 'Harmonium'. Brilliant work, though

about 4 years

Unity

PROMPT: 1 Photo, 20 Words

unknown

AHHHHHHHHHHH

FREE WRITING

unknown

but you can roast zucchini

PROMPT: Pantoum

unknown

Apocalypse

PROMPT: Open Prompt

unknown

Through the Darkness

PROMPT: Speech Writing Competition 2016

unknown

My Monster

FREE WRITING

unknown

Everyone Thinks

PROMPT: Speech Writing Competition 2016

unknown