Nyla

Canada

15
She/her

Message to Readers

Lol so this is VERY different to what I normally post but I wanted to try this prompt. Feedback appreciated :)

Healing Blindness

April 19, 2021

Overflush with sheer love(like a worshipper to his Lord)/I prostrate before your grace(dates rippled skin torn with my hungry)
H
u
n
g
e
r (feeling/fake)
Desire is an illusion; greed a deception; wisdom a notion (existent?)
Nobody is actually enlightened. We all claim to be superior but don't understand the definition.
We cannot see what we have never seen/Nor describe that which is not refracted
Throwing ink into flame we believe only what is in front. Is truth. (ego)
Blindfold removed from my eyes. I am blinded by factual-beauty.
​My skin is flush with your raw bones/I see you in your truth/were you ever worthy?
Take your sculptures/throw marble on granite/watch pieces crumble and divide
Heart throbbing with shame of my naked past;
I fall and pinkify my knees;
begging for anothers' forgiveness;
on an Arabian prayer mat.

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9 Comments
  • Lata.B

    This is amazing!!
    Okay how on earth are all your pieces so well written and so prefect!! You are so talented!!


    5 months ago
  • McK13

    Spectacular! I really like the spacing and the parentheses -- you did such a great job! Also, I love the line "We all claim to be superior but don't understand the definition". It's just, wow! Re: aww thanks so much!! (I would say you're so sweet but you're absolutely right -- like 50% of our messages are us saying that the other is so sweet lol! So how about we just know that both of us are sweet and leave it at that) Yes, I thought you might notice the scrapbook mention hahaha! There might be a sequel to piece 2, however, I really liked how it ended (surprisingly lol) so I'm still deciding, but I'll let you know if I make it a sequel.
    Yessss, blackout poetry is really fun though it can be very difficult since you only have so many words to choose from and they have to go in the correct order for it to make sense. Hahahaha!! Aww :)
    Omg, I can totally relate! I wrote this awful short story in 6th grade too that was supposed to be a different perspective of I think Cinderella. It's absolutely awful lol! And it's not even short since it was like 12 or 13 pages omg!
    Same here, even though I feel like I sleep a decent amount, I'm still super tired lolll!
    Yum! But now, all I can think about is chocolate XD!
    Seriously?! Wow! We must think alike then hahaha LOL!!
    Ooh, that's so smart! I never even thought of that but now that you say it, I'm kind of considering changing my answer but I won't so I don't steal your reason. Anyways, I said ancestors because I don't even know half of my ancestry beyond my mom so I don't practice any particular cultural traditions from her heritage. Therefore, I think it'd be kinda cool to learn about them in real life and then come back to the present day to share everything I learned with my family. Also, I wouldn't go too far back, probably only like 60-70 years so I could meet my biological grandparents and stuff and their lives wouldn't differ a whole lot from ours though they still probably would a good amount.
    Oh, no worries!! At least you have an actual reason unlike me who just seems to lose track of time with everything I do lol! Thanks so much for letting me know! I hope you have a marvelous day/night :)


    5 months ago
  • Deleted User

    Wow. I honestly was too scared to try this prompt because--I don't know it requires a different type of creativity, I guess. But you really nailed it. Everything you did--all the parentheses, spacing,--perfectly added to the piece and never felt out of place. Also I love your word choice: "overflush," "pinkify"....it was a truly gorgeous piece!!
    re: Oh thank you!! Don't worry I got plenty of reviews!! Yup you're totally right. I'm pretty sure "gruff" is used to refer more to voices...whatever I already submitted it lol.
    Ooh fun!! I'm definitely looking forward to that!


    5 months ago
  • ~wildflower~

    Re: Ooh, I’d love to read an extended version of that piece!! Thanks for letting me know! But the link you gave me for the plot outline in the footnotes didn’t work :/ Was it taken down again?


    5 months ago
  • Nikki

    re: hi! thank you so so so much for your kind review and your sweet comment. i havnt been feeling very good, mentally, so i didnt come here for a while.
    my parents said no, umm to the whole pet thing. and i saw super excited for that, it was the only thing holding my anxiety and depression at bay. so i had a lot thoughts and feelings to deal with from the past few days.
    tho im getting better now tho i may need help. but thats alright! and ive learnt to just accept my issues :))

    haha i think you meant Ann, in your comment. but thats okay, i shall love you no matter what :)
    once agin, thank you for your awesome review! i have sooo much competition work to complete. aaaagh!
    anyways, i hope you're okay with listening to my stuff. this storm will pass through, it'll require a lot of help, but it will
    <33


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thank you :)
    You're welcome! Yeah it definitely worked.


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    You dived headfirst into this prompt. Well done. I love "overflush".


    5 months ago
  • Yellow Sweater

    Re: Aw, thank you so much! They actually sent me an email saying that it was going to be a bit late. Mystery solved!


    5 months ago
  • Yellow Sweater

    So fascinating. I love the transitions! I also love how you played with punctuation.


    5 months ago