Nyla

Canada

15
She/her

Message to Readers

Villanelles are so hard! Hopefully this makes sense- enjoy :)

Psychopathic Love

April 17, 2021

FREE WRITING

8
Never leave me, my fluorescent love
Every night I close my eyes and for you, pray
I see you flying into my arms, my dove

Though my arms may drop from above
They will be open for you every day
Never leave me, my fluorescent love

You think of me like an old baseball glove
But I care for you, don't throw me away
I see you flying into my arms, my dove

And you will because our future is destined from above
I just wish you would stop resisting and obey
Never leave me, my fluorescent love

Follow my orders or I'll shove
you. Listen to me cause someday
I see you flying into my arms, my dove

Leave your husband, what will he know thereof?
You'll bend to my will eventually, my sunray
Never leave me, my fluorescent love
I see you flying into my arms, my dove

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  • April 17, 2021 - 5:29pm (Now Viewing)

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8 Comments
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Hey! I just wanted to tell you that I’m taking a short hiatus this upcoming week to reorganize my time. But I’ll be back next Saturday, and I’m really gonna miss talking to you!


    5 months ago
  • Zirong

    omg this is SO PERFECT!!! I've always wanted to try my hand at villanelles. Maybe I'll write one next week :) Also, I agree with Avril that "you think of me like an old baseball glove" is such an amazing metaphor!!!

    re: so sorry for this super late reply(was a bit busy this week). Thank you so so much for your sweet comment! It just made my day aww! And I'll check out your symbol piece right after I finish writing this(ooo can't wait to let my imagination run wild :))

    Yea I wrote a book of poems in Chinese and translated all of them into English :) If you are interested you can check out my personal writing website later(I still haven't finished updating. If you're interested I'll let you know the link to it)

    Ohh one more thing -- last time when reading a piece by Yellow Sweater I noticed in your comment you mentioned about Teju Cole! Omg I really admire him too! All I can say is "what a man"! Last year he was a presenter at Singapore Writers Festival and I was just blown away by how he spoke -- it felt like a carefully crafted essay in a verbal form and it was all impromptu(the theme of the presentation was a random conversation)! Then I searched him on YouTube and watched several of his speeches. A really impressive speaker, and writer too. Oh god. And I heard he teaches creative writing at Harvard. I wish I can speak and write like him one day :D


    5 months ago
  • Yellow Sweater

    Re: I am so excited to check out the newest version of your poem! I am sorry I haven't quite gotten around to writing a review of that other piece you asked me to check out. I have actually been weirdly busy these last two days. I think it's cause it's finally gorgeous out, but don't worry, I will definitely get to it soon. I love your work!

    Also thank you so much for your comments! I feel like Sebastian is someone I should hate, but he is just so endearing!


    5 months ago
  • McK13

    Re: Of course! And I should be thanking you for writing it - it was truly spectacular! I have no idea lol - why are you so kind, fun, and a talented writer?! Ooh, thanks for enlightening me! I'll have to use that word the next time I see two opposites placed together :) And thanks so much -- you and your comments make me so happy too! Yes, I know right - so true!! That's what I always say when someone is like for example "I want to become valedictiorian, but it probably won't happen". Well, you're really good at it! It's like those "easter eggs" that people include in like images or conversations for others to solve. Ooh, that's totally what can happen -- kinda weird tho lol! Thanks -- so glad you like it! I'm planning on publishing the piece that will be like the "second draft" later today after school and I'll let you know! I'm also planning on reviewing yours today because I don't have too much going on :) Awww, stopppp -- you're too sweet! Yessss, if only we didn't have to sleep for like a third or more of the day! Lol -- first of you totally deserve them and secondly I'm working on saving up some energy for myself so don't worry :) This is true, hopefully my writing gets better! Awww, now you're being too sweet! For sure! I think it's because school is like the designated learning place and home is usually for just relaxing. I bet if you practiced you could run a 5k with no problems and then get complete credit forever! Yes, that's totally how it is for me and then afterwards I'm always like "How about we do something else" lol! Yeah, ideally that would happen though I'm not so hopeful that I'll be able to even play a song, yikes! I can imagine -- it looks extremely hard! But glad that you had fun! Ooh that sounds like a lot of fun and very delicious :) My school has Life Skils which includes cooking, baking, sewing, etc and we made monkeybread (which is this sweet, soft-baked dough with cinnamon sugar on top) one time so that was fun! Good luck in making the cake -- hope you do great! Yeah, *sigh* unfortunately they do lol at least when it comes to academics because I usually win at trivia XD! That's true, being in the snow is really cold but snow tubing and sledding makes it better :) Ooh, rain definitely looks more romantic but if it's like a downpour and it's windy then I think the fun aspect gets a little lost lol! Lol! I'm usually pretty late in responding anyways so no worries if you are (even though you aren't really) You always say how nice I am and then I'm over here thinking, you are the nicest person I've ever met!! Ooh, interesting, I'm definitely a night owl because I'm always up late though I'm also more productive in my morning classes than afternoon though that could be because after lunch I kinda relax lol! Yeah, that's true, small towns have this quiet and simple feature that make it really appealing. Though I've been to a few small towns but I feel like there's so little going on sometimes and you have to drive so far to reach a hospital and other buildings that would be way closer in a city. I would probably be more of a city person because I'd like all of the activities and things to do nearby. Yes, I totally agree! Summer is too hot though the beach does make it more fun! Winter is definitely my least favorite because it's so freezing! Spring would probably be my favorite season because the weather is nicer but not too hot and that's usually when I'm less busy so I have time to do more with family and friends. Though, I also really enjoy the fall because of all the colorful leaves and weather but it's kinda hectic with school and sports beginning and holidays coming up like Halloween and Thanksgiving unlike the spring as much. Anyways thank you so much for all your kindness and super sweet words! Have a wonderful day/night too :)


    5 months ago
  • McK13

    Omg, this flows so nicely and I love the whole concept! The transition from someone wanting love in their life since they feel empty and hurt to them having this overwhelming and disturbing obsession of love (though at this point, there obviously isn't love anymore) making them forceful and psychotic, is so wonderfully written :) I've never written a villanelle but they seem SO HARD!! But really, you did a fantastic job! And I absolutely love the line, "You think of me like an old baseball glove" - that's just so perfect! And the title really intrigued me! Re: aww you're so sweet (as always - I say this too often but it's so true) I'm thrilled that you enjoyed the opposites I used and that you thought it was powerful! And the go blind part you liked too - wow!!! I might record it actually and I shortened it up a bit to really focus on the main idea so I cut out the whole forgiving part since it didn't really have anything to do with the whole premise though I really liked that section! I might write something else and include it in that or pieces and parts of it at least so that'll be cool. Anyways, I have to make sure to publish the new version under the contest entry slot and publish the other piece which I still have to edit (ugh, why does time seem to disappear lol!) I think I've decided to use the beauty in blindness as my submission for the competition, but I'll still publish the other one as a free write. Also, I'm been reciting the piece out loud because I might submit it as a recording/video though that's not 100% since I'm pretty nervous lol!


    5 months ago
  • barelybear

    I LOVE THIS! I know myself how really super difficult writing a villanelle is, but you’ve knocked it out of the baseball park! (You see how I tried to casually intertwine reference and idiom but it just ended up a litttlleee awkward :D). I love the broken, abandoned feeling you create at the beginning, and how that evolves into this menacing, psychotic desire! (Wow really pulling out the adjectives haha)
    Re: ah I see what you mean about it not working. But in my mind, they’re the song together, but he’s taking the tune, the bass, the chords etc so she feels like she has no control ahah. What about “He’s the tune in our song” ?

    Lmao I have been trained meticulously by a very eager English teacher, who will stop at nothing to equip our class to face the unseen poetry in the exam ahah. If you ever want to check some impact or meaning, or just want me to drag up some random idea that you probably didn’t even want, I’d be happy to put my skills to use. I do wonder how often poets really think about intentions haha, so I’m glad you did with the darker undertones, as it really thickened the piece :)
    Hehe I’m glad you see what I mean :p

    Ah I guess coursework isn’t good to take the pressure off :)
    We have some for our English board, but unless you do creative subjects, nothing else. Luckily I do drama and music :D

    YESSSS those gcse books are lifesavveerrrrssss! The stuff along the side - the translations, the little notes about meanings. Seriously I love that editor so much. They deserve to be Prime Minister.
    Haha yes some “North America things” will never cease to baffle me :D

    Ah yes what a great compromise. The perfect companion to give you love and get you outside, along with a sleepy friend that doesn’t judge you for eating chocolate curled up in bed :)
    Haha I used to kinda underrate Death in Paradise. But they’ve got some good humour in there, and the characters really grow on you. Now, I feel like I know them so well! It’s definitely my sister who’s the crazy fanatic though :p

    Yes even though I am now a certified marvel super fan, I still think Hogwarts trumps that, and I’m super glad you agree!! We can go to Hogsmeade together!

    Yesssss! I love Sherlock! Benedict Cumberpatch is just ahhhhhsmksks. And then the hobbit guy too haha (I think he’s Martin Freeman, but I know there’s also a Morgan Freeman so I don’t wanna say for certain haha). But yeah it has wit, humour, and a real slow burn thriller vibe that I love so so much!!
    Also, my claim to fame is that I’ve been to the pool where they filmed with Moriarty haha.

    Don’t worry about the late reply!! I’ve been under an avalanche of revision recently, so my reply is also slow, and would’ve been even slower if you’d replied earlier ahah. It’s super fun talking to you, and it’s nice to have long and interesting discussions (about chocolate and wizardry, but still :p)

    Have a great evening!


    5 months ago
  • Avril

    Oh this is very clever. This is such an interesting perspective to write from. It's like we kind of hate this person and yet also feel for them. "You think of me like an old baseball glove" - wow perfect metaphor! I can just imagine a dirt-smudged abandoned baseball glove, only remembered when a use for it arises.
    Re: aw thanks so much! Your comments are always so kind Nyla, and they make my day!


    5 months ago
  • Yellow Sweater

    This is kind of random, but I was wondering if you have read a Teju Cole essay called: "In Place of Thought" yet. It was absolutely brilliant and very funny. If you have, I would love to discuss it:)


    5 months ago