~wildflower~

Australia

15
she/her
Loves music, nature, poetry, emotive writing, thinking
Passionate about the environment
pianist, tall
•stranded amongst the stars any trying to work out the meaning of it all•
Joined April 2020

On a perpetual semi-hiatus

Message to Readers

Ok, so I strayed a LOT from the prompt for this one....
For the record, I did originally start with the idea of portraying a lost person in a lively place following the guidelines of the prompt, but it sort of got out of hand from there and I ended up focussing on the story rather than symbolism (in fact I’m not really sure that I properly incorporated that at all! Oops!).
I might publish something else that follows this prompt properly later!

The city of lost souls

April 11, 2021


I stepped through the train door and was immediately swamped by an assaulting menagerie of overlapping noises and clammy bodies. Like the streets I had just wandered, the carriage exploded with laughter and movement. The city seemed to be breathing, inhaling people in one place and exhaling them in another, in a chaotic yet strangely comforting rhythm. There must have been fifty people jumbled into the dizzying kaleidoscope of colours and features before my eyes, yet only one truely captured my attention. 

At the time, I wasn’t really sure why they stood out to me. At first glance, they looked the same as everyone else: their hair was fastened into a neat bun that balanced precariously atop their head and they wore a pale yellow suit bursting with vibrancy. Yet when I looked more closely I saw that they had a vacant look about them - their eyes unsmiling and their face lined with creases - that seemed somehow out of place: as if their bright clothes were merely an attempt to conceal the emptiness that lurked in their averted gaze. The frenzied crowd and outbursts of laughter that saturated the carriage seemed impossible to ignore, yet they remained frozen, shoulders hunched, never lifting their eyes from the dirty floor. As the train pulled into the next station they stood silently and strode purposely through the doors. They manoeuvred the platform as if they had done it a hundred times, yet still, they seemed lost.

When I finally exited the train and stepped onto the platform I noticed dozens more faces just like theirs, attempting to blend into the waves of commuters. And I realised then that underneath the veil of laughter and colour and liveliness, this was a city of lost souls.

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  • April 11, 2021 - 6:07am (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • Ava Marie

    Re: Thank you so much, that means a lot!!!


    5 months ago
  • Nyla

    RE: Awww of course!! Awww I’m so glad, your comment made me smile so much too! HAHA, I didn’t even realize all your ‘so’’s (lol, never know what to do when I have to put a word in quotation marks but need a plural of it) until I read you talking about it. Guess it shows how many so’s I use on a daily basis XD. Haha yeah, I only know a bit cause I’m right beside it but on the other hand, I know like nothing about Australian history so you’ve bested me there. And awwwww thank youuu!!! You’re so sweet!!!
    Haha, yess, wondrous is a beautiful word!! oooh or, well, I mean ‘magical’ is the best word- not because of its sound, just its connotation of childhood and innocence and Harry Potter XD
    HAHA honestly sameee- that’s why it takes me so long to reply sometimes LOL
    Awww of course- I’m so glad and thanks for yours! It was soo sweet, anyways, have a great day <3


    5 months ago
  • barelybear

    Woah! I love this! You have such a wonderful range of vocabulary, and it really made me feel like I was there :D
    I was engaged right up to the end, and I loved the thoughtful conclusion :)
    Re: thank you so much! <3


    6 months ago
  • Nyla

    Hahah- no don’t worry- I swear symbolism is so easy to pick up on when reading but it’s really hard to write it (the only proof you need is my piece to the prompt XD) but neverthless I really love this!! There’s so much description but not in the way that there’s too much and the ending just wow, really awesome. And honestly intriguing cause isn’t that a lot of places? (what I mean by that is, I love how you don’t describe the scenery because it leaves this a lot more open ended!!) The pacing was also awesome and I love the word “ menagerie” idk why- I just do :)


    6 months ago
  • BriRiley

    Re: Okay! I’d you ever want a review please!!! Ask! :D


    6 months ago