Peer Review by Kii (United States of America)()

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Canary

By: Zen


I have wings made of feathers, fragile and beautiful, like silk and gold. Wings of freedom. Wings of Peace. Wings of everlasting retreat. A gift made from an angel's blessing. 

I have a harmonious voice. Always singing your favorite tune. My voice, a sweet lullaby, so sweet like caramel. I sing to soothe not to brag. I only sing for the kindest lads.

I like to be around others, I can't stand to be alone. If I'm not singing with someone else, I might as well not sing at all. My voice is to be shared and joined. Not to be sung alone. 

These wings that soar cannot take me afar, for these small tiny feathers are not large. I cannot fly to the heights to heaven like the angels; my creator. A boundary between both worlds that separate us. 

I am a canary. A bird who soars, A bird who sings, A bird scared of many things. I'll continue to sing because it makes you happy. I'll continue to fly because I want to explore. But, I'll always be locked in a cage to be yours.

I don't write much, so please be easy on me.

Message to Readers

Any feedback appreciated :))


Peer Review

Everything about this is interesting. I was instantly drawn in by the title because nobody really picks a canary to identify themselves as their animal alter-ego. I was interested to see how you would write it, and you've completely got me captivated and in tears.


Throughout this piece, there is definitely metaphors, imagery, and allusions used. Some sentences I've highlighted are marked with the literary devices. In this piece, the use of imagery was most prominent and it was also the strongest. I suggest to build off your strong use of imagery with sensory detail and more descriptive language to fully achieve the meaning behind your "canary".


Reviewer Comments

Some advice from me, you can take it with a grain of salt if you wish, but I feel like this piece needs more imagery and description of a "canary". You described the voice and the wings, but what other attributes can you add as well?

Overall, good job! I will love to see more of your works in the future.