The so waited August had came! The 25th, day that I had so many dreams about, so many expectations was there. Everything that I knew would vanish. I wouldn't even be able to speak my language anymore! My excitement was bigger than words can describe. First month, was beautiful. Met new people. I was living miles and miles away from everything I had grew up with! I was learning new things every minute, every second. My head couldn't stop working! The signs were in a different language, the kids and teenagers in the streets, in the cafeteria all spoke in a different language!
After 3 months, I barely remembered how life in my home was like; and after 6 months, I felt I did not have a home anymore. I arrived everyday from school, in a strange environment. Not being able to behave how I normally would. When I got home, I couldn't simply hug my mother, or ask my brother how his day was. Or even tease him!
I couldn't be honest. I couldn't cry out loud. I couldn't be sad. After 7 months, I realized how much I loved my country. If it's perfect? Of course not! But where, or who is? I was expecting perfection. I was expecting something that simply doesn't exist; And if I continued in that path, I would be forever unhappy. Small things that daily seem so insignificant, started to have an incredible value to me. Like asking for a coffee in my language or just looking up to the sky, going to the beach, hugging my family, teasing my brother. Things that were present everyday, and sadly most do not see how important in life they are.
Even things that we judge so stupid, made me suffer, knowing that I did not get the chance to have them anymore. I saw myself so alone. With no ground to step, or fall in. It made me see that things can change just like that. You can have one thing, and in the next day, it is gone. Maybe it is even inevitable, but at least memories are left; And memories are all I have to make me happy even for one second. But I also have regret. Regret of not seeing things so obvious; such as love. But those will make me sad for an eternity. And well, now what it is left to do, is a constant search for the lost time.