WARNING: IF YOU ARE EASILY HURT I SUGGEST YOU SKIP THIS ENTRY AS I WILL DISCUSS MY EXPERIENCE WITH SUICIDE AND LOSING PEOPLE TO SUICIDE. IF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING AND NEED HELP TALK TO SOME ONE. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TO CALL 800-273-8255. THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING. IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE AT ANYTIME WHILE READING I SUGGEST YOU DO FOR YOUR HEALTH. I AM BETTER NOW AND I AM IN A BETTER MENTAL...

You make me feel as if
The leaves never change, 
Like the Earth doesn't spin. 
A feeling that time's stopped.

Between millions and billions.
 Two legs,
Four legs, eight arms.
 Gills, fins, tentacles, and pseudopodia.
Life scattered in the troposphere, 
   Somewhere in an unknown address, I breathe.
In the attic, I lie,
 The melanin cells in my hair follicles have died.
  Covered in grime.
Amidst broken furniture, 
 Old books and lab manuals.
Engulfed by chaos,
        In a metal box lies my essence forgotten.  
Scratches on the enamel coating,
    Measuring the days I’ve walked on earth.
Giggles running down the slippery...

Love.
An entity in itself
Wafting through the air 
giving gifts of ethereal fantasies 
To the unassuming kind souls that walk this earth
gifts of kaleidoscope vision
drifting tirelessly into
powerful deep
love.

Hope.
A persistent whisper 
Slithering into the opened hearts
That love so graciously revealed to the world
That love so wondrously gave to a guy with deep blue eyes
that love so suddenly exchanged without a thought
coldly exposed to the harmful winds
awaiting an end
hope. 
...

                                                                            Be Kind to Everyone                              
                                 People always judge me for trying to find happiness in the tiniest of things.
                                 If you were to be optimistic you would find a world of hope and happiness.
                                    Always look on the bright side and always treat everyone with kindness.
                                                                    Be happy with little things. 
                                                        Look on the bright side and never lose hope!

                                                                            Be Kind to Everyone                              
                                 People always judge me for trying to find happiness in the tiniest of things.
                                 If you were to be optimistic you would find a world of hope and happiness.
                                    Always look on the bright side and always treat everyone with kindness.
                                                                    Be happy with little things. 
                                                        Look on the bright side and never lose hope!

The World, Disastrous and wicked. But blind and sorrowful. 
Receives  what it gets, but not what
it's hoping for.
A heart so Kind, and a Love so 
powerful. Not only does he Save, even Dark trys to hide from his Angelic presence. But To the world with there desires, He's nothing but a lost cause.
Little do they know he's the one 
who makes sure they awake, a voice so loving and calm, whispers so lightly in the ears, enough...

The World, Disastrous and wicked. But blind and sorrowful. 
Receives  what it gets, but not what
it's hoping for.
A heart so Kind, and a Love so 
powerful. Not only does he Save, even Dark trys to hide from his Angelic presence. But To the world with there desires, He's nothing but a lost cause.
Little do they know he's the one 
who makes sure they awake, a voice so loving and calm, whispers so lightly in the ears, enough...

Morning b                 z
                 r        e       e
                      e

Afternoon H
                e
                a
                t

Evening C
                h
            a
                t
            t
                e
            r


Nightly M
                     u
                                s
                                         i
                                                  c

My home

    1. FaceTime. I always FaceTime my cousin at least once a week anyway, because we live hours apart, but now we do it more than ever.
    2. Zoom. Whether it's with my co-op, my youth group, or my other friends, it's great to get a group together and just talk.
    3. Hanging out. If I haven't been around anyone else for a week, I just get together with two friends who are equally as isolated and...

just a few of my all time favorite songs. leave song suggestions in the comments!

sad songs:

- when (by dodie) is just so beautiful... it's my sad song go-to. it has wonderful lyrics that will get you crying even if you're in a happy mood. 

- sick of losing soulmates (by dodie) is also really, really sad. the music video is like the most soul-crushing thing ever. also beautiful lyrics.

- supermarket flowers (by ed sheeran)is also so...

howling, moaning wind...

sunlight
            peeking
                        over the trees

fog    s    w    i    r    l    s

Nearly freezing out,

      hunching over a laptop.

            Learning about cells.

Ashes

Then rain.

Clouds

Then sun.

Weather is so weird...

Standing on moss,
Bare toes wiggling in its softness,
I could just breathe in the aroma of peace,
Serenity,
An escape from the exhausting stress of modern life,
The drama of friends, or not-friends,
The weariness and drudgery of school.
And it all vanishes away here.
Sunlight peeps through cracks in the foliage,
The leaves blending it into emerald and topaz.
A golden light falls on my skin, bringing a glow of new life.
I lean my head against a...

lingering
                 hovering
                                silence

crowded
                    suffocating
                                            screams



Family entwined within disquietude  




 

White peaks, mountain wind 
        
            Dark crows 

                        Petrichor 

                                Fire, smoke 
                        

Home.

Love is all around
And yes, love is really profound!
So I love you, love
 

Today, i went to school. Yeah, surprising since the cases of COVID have only risen since we did online schooling. I'm just really happy that i get to finally see my friends and everybody. I actually felt something other than darkness today. But today wasn't the best, too. Ashlee decided i wasn't good enough for her and dropped the whole group, also the same day that Jada and Kiaya decided to leave the group. So it was only me, Emily,...

Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys
Because we can all use a little confidence right now.

We Are All We Got by Butterscotch
Because just the title is all we need to get through this as a country.

When we Stand Together by Nickelback
Again, 'we' does not include only one person, but all of us.

Unstoppable by The Score
As one nation, we are all together, and all together, we are unstoppable.

Six Feet Apart by Alec Benjamin
It's...

Smaller than this by Sara Kays
Cause whether we admit it or not, we're all a bit insecure sometimes.....Or all the time.

Lush life by Zara Larsson
Cause you were just a crush........

Only by NF
Cause you aren't the only one. <3

Talk too loud by Jillian Shea
Cause it's so relatable and makes me feel better. Always.

Electric by Jayden Bartels and Max and Harvey
Cause it's such an amazing and fun song.

6/10 by dodie
Cause it's...

Dear Mr. Newton

People so often take you for granted, but I can only applaud you today for your amazing work on the science of physics. Maybe you did not know it was physics then, but you introduced a whole new world to scientists everywhere. To me, reading about your laws of motion was a glimpse of light in a very dark world of muddling formulas and theories. It brought me hope that I could—and would—understand physics. It was logic,...

When love and happiness come along,
When things go wrong and fun is gone,
When things turn down and bring worries,
I have you O diary, my dearie.

When friends are there for me to care,
When friends depart and no one is near,
You are always there for me
Just for me O diary, my dearie.

When love and hatred clash upon,
And I need a friend to share them all,
You listen without speaking a word
And I...

Throughout your life,
You make many memories.

Those memories can be good,
Or they can be bad.

But no matter what,
You always remember them in the end.

You always remember them when death is on your doorstep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

When someone you love dies,
The first thing you do is remember.

You remember all of the memories you shared with them.

The good,
and the bad.

The times of strength,
and times of weakness.

----------------------------

The memories of them,
are...

I believe in truth,
I believe in lies,
I believe in youth,
and believe in cries.

I believe in love,
I believe in hate,
I believe in things, 
that are meant to be by fate.

I believe in summer,
I believe in spring,
I believe in autumn,
where the happiness brings.

-Hninny