Minvra

United States

I enjoy reading and been doing this as my past time a lot.
Love cooking, and learning in general. But I am not overly fond of school.

Message to Readers

There is a possibility I could connect this to another short story I'm working on, but I also wonder if there's any more details I should add to this.

A Slice of Disconnection

November 19, 2020

FREE WRITING

4
"Astrid?"
     "Yes, Mom?"
     "I've been...I—" want to understand what's on your mind. "How are you?"
      Astrid shifts. She refuses to meet my eyes. I didn't look either.
     "Fine." Finally, I turn. Intending to say No you're not, but something caught and stole the air. Somewhere in her face. Not her mouth, not her down casting head, not her posture. In fact, it's normal these days. But her eyes. My throat clenched and burned like never before. Like someone had forced a hot pepper down my throat.

      I didn't know what happened from there. It was all a blur, as if I took backseat from my own body. I had shut the door to my bedroom softly—so softly that a snake wouldn't feel it's vibrations.
      And I broke down in silence.
      How much I love my baby girl that I can't fathom the extent, but it hurt. It hasn't been the same since Carson died. I knew it, Astrid knew it, and I just want to reach out to her. My heart racked my ribs like metal bars, forcing to break free from the overload of emotions. It hurts so much. To have her in proximity but I can't bare to loosen my throat when it tightens up. To see her break down silently when no one is looking, convinced that she has to walk alone down the misty path. I clapped a hand over my mouth to cover it as my chest hiccuped violently and slow to a stop. It wouldn't due to have her see what a mess I am.
Played with the dialogue. I wanted to show the disconnection in communication between teen and adult. Believe me, this is just a slice of what I'm working on and I'm not sure if this will be cannon. This is also my assumption of a parent's point of view...I know I would be emotional if I had a kid. 

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  • November 19, 2020 - 7:00pm (Now Viewing)

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3 Comments
  • Rachaelgrace

    This is so good!
    Re: ooo curry is so good! I love pasta dishes :) my favorite is pesto pasta.


    6 months ago
  • Emi

    I love how you show the emotions of the mother and daughter so well! It really shows a different perspective, writing from the mother's view.


    6 months ago
  • ava09 (sorta back)

    i really think this is beautiful. and really sad too. i definitely want to know more about the backstory and who carson is (astrid's dad?). it's really lovely though.


    6 months ago