Peer Review by Dmoral13 (United States of America)()

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Rope #plottwist

By: Christy Wisdom

PROMPT: Plot Twist

"No! Don't do it!" I shout, but to no avail. He's on the very edge, feet half over the side. "Derek!" That gets his attention. He stiffens, and turns slowly. 
    "Liz? What're you doing here?" He asks, the confusion and guilt spreading over his features.
    "I had to come home early. Now get down from there, right now!"
    "Why? Why should I? You're not going to help me, are you? Pff. I thought not." He snorts, then finishes tying the knot. I watch, stricken.
    "No. Please, don't do this to me."
    "Sorry, but I have to." He throws the rope around the neck, then...
    "Umm.. bro?"
    "Why are you tying a rope around the neck of the cookie jar? What on earth do you think that will accomplish?" 
    "Simple. I can just pull it down from there. Now it won't matter that I'm too short to reach it. Those rope-tying lessons really payed off." He chuckles, and began pulling the jar closer to the edge.
    "Derek, stop it. Right now. It's going to fall on you and shatter!" The truth of my words dawns on him, and he freezes just in time. The jar's at the very edge, but he's safe. Phew.
    "Oh, yeah, I forgot about that." Then the front door opens.
    "Children, I'm ho-" She stops and glares. "WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Oh dear.

Message to Readers

Had to fix some tense problems

Peer Review

I love this plot twist. It's lighter and happier than ones I've read, and the fact it's hilarious adds to the story. Everything about this piece makes me smile.
It's a short story, so I like that it's to the point, yet still includes enough detail and description. The characters are different, and obviously young and children, which makes me love them!

How old are the kids? If Liz had to come home early, did she come home with the Mom, or herself?
How did you think of a plot twist like this? It's so creative and unique!

Reviewer Comments

I love this, best of luck in the contest!