Vani Desabhotla

United States

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Message from Writer

I hope you're smiling right now! :)

The First Time

February 5, 2016

It was exhilarating; it was terrifying.
I loved it with all my heart, but hated it with my soul
I was smiling on the outside, but shaking on the inside.

My mind was somewhere else, in a distant world
A place where no one judged the other's opinion.
It was only after I opened my eyes
that I realized that I was in that place,
a place where judgement didn't exist
I was in my happy place

After my pen stopped moving,
I glanced down at the words that had appeared in front of me, 
and smiled wholeheartedly.
A burden that I had held on to for so long
had been lifted off my shoulders in an instant.

It was then that I realized the cure to all:
to jot my thoughts down in a place where I could later make sense of them.

I was happier, more free, more confident.
But also exposed, like I had just revealed a part of myself that I had held sacred
But that's the risk you take,
I suppose,
With something you love.

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