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Dani Miller

United States

Rape Culture and Contradictions

September 25, 2015

FREE WRITING

2
Their words will transform you. 
They will call for a war on your tounge and take away the venom from your vinacular. 
They will say that you don't understand. That you're too young, too female, too naive. 
They will pick at your wound and feel attacked when you scream. 
They will tell you that your pain isn't real.
That you're too sensitive. 
You just wanna make them look bad.
 That you need to stop spewing your false feminist bullshit. 
They will tell you to shut up.
They will teach you how to bite your tongue,
a lesson you're not even aware you're learning until its too late.
 You will learn that you can only bite your tongue so many times 
before the rigid edges of your teeth cut it off 
and they replace  your tongue with theirs.  


You will start to believe them.
 So when his sweaty hands grab the inside of your things a little too hard,
you will not speak up. 
Or try to escape. 
You won't scream, in fear that he'll feel attacked. 
That you'll make him look bad. 
That they all will just tell you to shut up.

When the boy in your first period says he's gonna rape you, 
you laugh along with him and his friends, burying your fear so deep inside yourself that you've convinced yourself it isn't even there. 
They will teach you that your opinions, 
and your feelings
 are something to be ashamed of 
if they threaten the man,
 a lesson you weren't even aware you were learning until it's too late.

When the boy in your first period rapes you, 
they ask you why you didn't speak up sooner.

 You will want to scream at the top of your lungs. 
You will show them the empty hole in your mouth,
that held the beauty of your words, your confidence
before they stole it.
You will tell them that you were just listening to the lessons they were teaching you. 
You will tell them you were just shutting up like they wanted. 
You will beg for them to listen. 
For once, listen.

But they will tune out the sound of your voice with their own.
They will ask you question after question so you won't have time to answer. 
They tell you to shut up, 
get mad that you didn't speak up sooner, and 
then not listen when you do speak up. 
You will turn until another statistic. 
Another unheard cry. 
Another lost voice.
 This will happen so quickly, 
you won't even realize it's happening 
until it's too late.

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