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Message to Readers
I decided to stray from the prompt a bit and do all four seasons to highlight the change between them. I would appreciate any help, poetry is not my forte.
I'll choose a detail from each haiku.
1. Falling rust embers: This detail really helped me picture the season in my mind.
2. Cold air pierces my lungs: I could feel that cold air piercing my lungs.
3. The ground wakes: I love your use of personification!
4. And so it begins: This detail kind of represented the never-ending cycle of the seasons.
The language you used did an excellent job of creating imagery throughout the piece, I like how you incorporated some of the five senses. You didn't, however incorporate the senses of smell or taste. Maybe you could add those in somewhere? That would even further help the reader feel like they are there.
Your piece made me feel like I was really their, experiencing each season by using words like: red heat, ruby leaves, rust embers, etc.
Once again, your use of the senses gave me that feeling like I was there, experiencing those seasons.
You have great word choice in this piece, it was enjoyable to read. I like how you wrote a haiku for each season, it really highlights their differences and the transition between them. Good job, keep writing!