Peer Review by Suri Purefoy (United States)

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What's Wrong with this Mirror

By: Abigail Kremer


PROMPT: Fissure

    I have a daily routine.  
    I wake up, slither out of covers, and stare into my reflection.
    I turn my head, rustle my hair, stick out my tongue and laugh.
    This is my true form, pure, without the troubles of the day distorting my face.  
    This morning I woke up after a day of voices, a day of noises cluttering my head. 
    A day of screaming, a day of pain.
    A day of displeasure and disdain.  
    A day where shadows scream,
    And the soothing hurts
    A day I live distorted, it burns.
    I stare into my reflection
    Into my true form
    I notice a blemish
    A flicker of form.
    A crack erupts from the mirror's smooth surface
    It starts from my pupil and spreads
    A sticky, oozing substance crawls out
    And covers my face; my head
    It bubbles it screams,
    It mouths off to me
    It turns into an angry red
    I cover my face and feel blood dripping
    The world tips, and turns black.

Abigail Kremer.


Message to Readers

This is my first time on this site, so I'm not sure how it works. Please review it, and while you're at it tell me how the heck all this works. It's pretty cool from as far as I can see.


Peer Review

"I turn my head, rustle my hair, stick out my tongue and laugh." It's really an amazing line that just made me happy!


I really like how you went to happy and fun in the beginning, but then spiraled down to the sadness and pain of life. It brought connection.


Reviewer Comments

Hi, Abigail!
I just wanted to say welcome, and congratulations on publishing your first piece! It's truly beautiful!
Your words were subtle yet evoking, your tone was magnificent, and your story was amazing!
Stupendous job! I can't wait to read more!
And once again,
Welcome!!!!

Suri